Previously on Alias: Sonia was Elena and Jack had a pill in his hand and zzzzzzzzzzzzz
Huh? What? It's a new episode? Do I have to stay awake for this one? Seriously? Well, then, I want a promise that this episode will have more Victor Garber and a return to the ass-kicking show I know and love, okay? PROMISE ME.
Vienna. We're at yet another disco/bar. Syd's sporting two-toned hair that I think is a repeat of another wig from a past season. It was bound to happen sometime. Syd's acting as a waitress, and Vaughn's acting as a patron. He's wearing an open-necked shirt that gives new meaning to the childish act of peek-a-boo. I think I love him. Syd swaggers up some back stairs and sweet-talks her way past the bodyguard at the top. She bends over in front of Dixon and not-so-subtly lays a stack of napkins down to his right. Dixon's modeling the latest in the Me-So-Horny Pimp-o-Rama line of suits. This one seems to be the Tony Manero Special. Syd stops showing her ass to the rest of the group long enough to give them all their drinks.
Dix wants to know why in the hell the Hydrosec is taking so long. Stubbly Lambert, still a terribly unfriendly fellow, just tells Dix to chill because it'll be here soon enough and then they'll move on to the phase: dispersal. Oooh! Snacks! Syd walks off and informs Vaughn and the troops at home that Dix is now armed and they should expect delivery of the Hydrosec any minute. Sloane wants to make sure the Hydrosec remains stable once they nab it, and Nadia asks if they've arranged transport for it. Sloane says that was supposed to be Jack's job, but no one's seen him around lately. That's because he's too busy imagining himself in the middle of It's A Small World After All, ruling a land of tiny singing people.
Marshall pipes up that the Hydrosec will most likely arrive in a big metal case, you know, the kind that is usually named after a large multinational corporation. Someone on the boards pointed out that this might be a sly reference to Lost, but I drink so much liquor during that show that I don't retain anything from one episode to the , so I can't help confirm this possible show-to-show shout-out. I also can't remember if that blonde Aussie had her baby or not. Or if Charlie ever quit the horse. Or if anyone figured out who "Dana" was. Or just who the hell was blackmailing Mary Kay or Mary Ellen or whatever. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON, IS WHAT I'M SAYING.
Vaughn sees no sign of the Hydrosec yet. Nor does he see any sign of Nerdy McSpyBoy over by the projector. Elena's goofy little henchman, who apparently did time in Legally Blonde (and, from what I hear about Reese Witherspoon, working on one of her movies really is akin to spending three-to-six in the state penitentiary), is casually placing a bomb beneath the projector and pretending to look like he belongs there, even though he really sticks out like a sore thumb. Or a sore geek. Whatever. Upstairs, Stubbly Lambert gets a call. The Hydrosec has arrived. Syd hears this and nods at Vaughn. Nerdy McSpyBoy somehow hears this as well and drops another bomb into his drink. The Hydrosec comes traipsing in and, while Syd watches it arrive, Nerdy McSpyBoy places his drink on her tray and it starts whirring like the bomb that it is. Man. Are ALL the spies on this show the Worst Spy Ever? Like, if you're gonna plant a bomb on someone, by all means, pick one that DOESN'T ANNOUNCE ITS PRESENCE WITH AUTHORITY. I would have thought that would be in the Spying for Dummies handbook, you know.