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It's all about being honest this week… unless you're AAdrianna. Her blue streak of lies continues as news of her relapse trickles down to Naomi courtesy of Navid. Like a PR flack, she decides to deny, deny, deny but is caught pill-handed by Naomi. You see, the former Perma Donna has realized that her dishonesty re: CU admissions actually hurt crunchy tutor Richard and compromised her relationship with the BMOC. With neither a university acceptance letter nor a functional relationship in her near future, she decides to make things right. This rare flirtation with integrity kind of wins both the hippie and the jock back, so naturally she fucks at least one of these options up by admitting to BMOC that she's still in love with ex-boyfriend Liam.
Liam might care about this development but is far too busy setting up the ruination of Naomi's lyin', cheatin' big sis to notice. In fact, the whole episode Liam-wise is a crescendoing gag of all the idiotic, sometime Shakespearian machinations Liam and his homies are imagining for unwitting Jen. He rejects all of them summarily before admitting to Naomi his fault in wrecking their relationship. His confession seals her heart… just in time for him to break it episode.
Speaking of broken hearts in the making, Matthews spends a surprisingly pleasant, albeit run-for-the-hills-if-you-weren't-already-in-them honest couple hours with Jen on a camping trip. It seems to take their relationship to the level. But, again, we know that's not going to end well.
And other things that don't end well involve Annie's naïve attempt to introduce Kris Jr. to the 'rents, thanks to Navid's aforementioned meddling. After telling Naomi about AAdrianna and the drugs, Navid warns Dixon that Kris Jr. is the dealer in question. Naturally, Dixon picks the worst possible moment to blurt this out to his Harry and Debbie -- that moment being a literal second before Kris Jr. rings the doorbell at La Casa Nueva. Kris Jr. tries his damndest to win the PrinciPAL and his wife over with an uplifting, if entirely bunk, speech about being on the straight and narrow since he found love for Annie. They don't buy it and tell Annie to dump the dealer. Annie relays this information to Kris Jr., who decides to take justice into his own hands. Except justice gets all pear-shaped: Whereas a legit date rapist got a mere key streak on his car, Navid gets pushed down the West Bev stairs… possibly to his death or disablement. Story developing…
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see where the Bev-Niners will be 20 Years from Now.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: Naomi began a love triangle with the California University Dean of Admissions' son and his BMOC roommate. AAdrianna circled the drain, thanks to a couple packets of happy pills from her former drug dealer and Annie boyfriend Kris Jr. Reality smacked Silver square in the face when she woke up to find her mother Jackie possibly dead.
We open at the hospital as Silver rushes behind the gurney being wheeled in the O.R. The doctor tells her to wait until there's news.
Elsewhere, Naomi informs Navid she wants to join the Blaze to pad her resume for college. Now that's the can-do spirit! He says no, since she'll flake once given any actual work, but she begs to an annoying degree and finally he relents. She tells him her thrilling plan for a broadcast: "Clark After Dark." Think Talk Sex with Sue Johanson, but more horrifying. Navid shuts that down immediately and tells her she can start by unpacking some boxes for him. She grimaces but accepts the assignment. He switches gears, telling her that he knows AAdrianna's back on las drogas.
Cut to later, out in the quad. AAdrianna lies that she's clean, but Naomi trusts Navid a little more since AAdrianna has lied about using before. AAdrianna points out that she is nothing like when she used coke... technically true since pills are her poison of choice presently. AAdrianna emphatically insists she's clean and says she's going to straighten things out with Navid.
Back at the hospital, Kelly arrives, and Silver fills her in: Technically Jackie was dead that morning, but the medics revived her. Now she's touch-and-go. Silver starts to break up, and Kelly is comforting her when the doctor comes out. She grimly tells them that Jackie had a cardiac arrest and is too weak from the chemo to fight much more. She sends the girls in to see Jackie, who has regained consciousness. Silver starts heading in, but Kelly can't face it.
La Casa Nueva. Dixon sulks past the breakfast table with barely a word to Debbie and Harry. Quite the opposite, Annie practically dances in with news that she's seeing someone special. She gives Harry and Debbie all the "dirty deets" (Harry's unhip phrase) and then asks if she can have Kris Jr. over for dinner. They make plans for the night. Debbie and Harry marvel that she's actually sharing with them as she sashays back upstairs... where we see she's got Kris Jr. stashed away. After a night of teenage lovemaking, no doubt. They start to kiss but are disrupted by a knock at her door. Kris Jr. scampers away, and Annie answers Debbie's question about what Kris Jr. would like for dinner: Mahi Mahi. Bouncy credits.
West Bev. Dixon enlightens Liam and Navid with the plan he has concocted to take down Jen. They can use Ivy's family's recording studio and have Ivy record the confession Jen made to Liam, then mix it to make it sound like Jen, and play it for Naomi. Liam thinks that's a wildly stupid plan and shares this with Ivy, who has now joined the conspiracy coven. All she has to say is that they're all morons, irrespective of stupid plans, self-undermining tape erasing, etc. And while we're talking about idiotic ideas, we learn that Dixon's DJ name is Mr. Big Dix. As they head outside, Navid asks if they'll help unload the Blaze video equipment in exchange for a fancy dinner at In-N-Out Burger. They half-heartedly agree. Dixon meanwhile, has stopped in his tracks after seeing Annie and Kris Jr. down the hall. He grits his teeth and says they've been spending too much time together. Navid warns him to keep an eye on her since Kris Jr. is a dealer.
Meanwhile, Naomi practices her "Clark After Dark" spiel with BMOC back in his dorm room. They act aggressively saucy with each other and start making out, only to be walked in on by Naomi's former crunchy hippie tutor. Did I mention he's the one she befriended and seduced in an effort to curry favor with his mother the CU Dean of Admissions? Yeah, so much for that plan. Crunch Jones runs into his room to get his laptop, leaving BMOC to introduce Naomi to the Dean. She bitingly notes that Naomi was supposed to be her son's date to tonight's cocktail party, then sarcastically deems her "classy." Hey lady, leave the snark to me!
Over at Matthews' anti-manse, Matthews struggles with a bow tie as Jen yammers to him about all the various society events she'll be taking to him this weekend. He is clearly not excited and finally spills that they have been spending more time in her world than his. He proposes a camping trip. She reluctantly agrees.
Back at the dorm, Naomi snits and stews about getting caught by the Dean making out with her son's roommate. She bitches enough that BMOC realizes she was only using Richard to get into CU. He calls her scheming out, but she returns that he stole his roommate's girlfriend. He says at least that was based on something honest. She apologizes but says what a life-long dream it's been to get in to CU and find a boyfriend like BMOC. She suggests they move on, but BMOC isn't into it. He tells her the Crunchster's been glum for weeks since the break-up (that he caused). He self-righteously calls Naomi a user and breaks it off.
Back at West Bev, Navid films a Blaze promo so boring that he starts to consider giving Naomi her sex show. He doesn't get a chance to finish that thought, though, because AAdrianna storms in and asks why he's been telling her friends that she's back on drugs. He tells her because it's true -- and because he cares for her. He points out the dramatic change of attitude she's had in the last few days. She coldly shoots back that she was only using him for comfort and that he wasn't that hard to get over once she realized that she was never really in love with him in the first place. Wow. Navid = daggered through the heart = devastated.
Later, Jen shows up at Matthews' door with a truckload of crap for their camping trip. Obviously she thinks this is going to be some Troop Beverly Hills shit. OMG, and she actually mentions a fondue set! She totally does! Matthews bursts her bubble, saying camping is about bare-bones living and carrying only what you can fit on your back. He starts offloading the stuff into his apartment, leaving her deflated in the doorway.
Over at Chez Taylor, Kelly brings Silver her morning coffee and says she's glad Silver's back. Silver thanks Kelly for taking care of her and wonders who's taking care of Kelly. She gently suggests Kelly go see their mom in the hospital before it's too late, but Kelly insists she's fine not having a relationship with Jackie. Silver says she's felt much better since they reconnected, but Kelly says it's different because she has 20 more years of bad memories with Jackie than Silver. Even when Jackie was sober, she was putting pressure on Kelly to be thin, beautiful, and impossibly perfect. Silver gets more assertive, demanding that Kelly forgive her for her own sake. Kelly offers to continue helping Silver to and from the hospital but flatly refuses to acquiesce to Silver's request.
CU. Naomi visits the CrunchMeister to come clean and apologize for using him. She explains her plan to win over his mother and, thus, admission to CU. She realizes now that it was horrible and calculating of her. He is shocked that she was willing to play with other people's feelings for her own gain. She says she would take it all back if he could. He tells her to stop talking.
La Casa Nueva. Annie systematically removes embarrassing baby pictures from the house as Harry and Debbie set out the hors d'oeuvres for dinner with Kris Jr. Annie is clearly very nervous and tries to talk up Kris Jr. to her persnickety parents. They promise to be open-minded. As they're talking, DJ Mr. Big Dix walks in wearing sweats that are clearly not intended for a nice meet-and-greet of a dinner. He tells that he's going to help Navid move some equipment and has no intention of sitting down for dinner with Kris Jr. He slings some insults about Kris Jr., so Annie responds that at least he's not much older and psychotic like Dixon's last girlfriend. Dixon retorts that at least DJ Hottie wasn't a drug dealer. Annie says Kris Jr. isn't a drug dealer, but it's too late to explain that away as the parents' jaws drop to the floor. Just then, the doorbell rings. Dixon storms out on Kris Jr. as Harry and Debbie give him a highly dubious once-over. Annie hesitantly introduces them, and Kris Jr. clearly wonders what just went down on the other side of the door.
Out in the unholy wilderness, Matthews smarms how nice it is to be out of the Bev Niner as he pours wine. Jen does appreciate the availability of alcohol. That is, until he takes her New York Times to start a fire. She concedes unhappily, and he heads over to spark the flames. This will prove a rather hard task, though, as the wind kicks up and the thunder begins to roll in. Jen snappily asks Matthews if he checked the weather, flipping her fur-lined hood over her head and sniping she's glad she wore her suede boots. Jen has a bit of trouble getting into Matthews' beat-up old car, and for a second there I thought they'd be locked out. Which would have been amazing, albeit predictable and trite. Alas, she gets in, and the rain starts soaking Matthews. He chagrins that things aren't going exactly as planned.
Back at West Bev, Navid is regaling Liam with another mind-numbingly stupid plan (loosely based on Hamlet) to trick Jen into admitting to the Prom Night sex fiasco in earshot of Naomi. This one involves a curtain. Sweet Jeebus, what's ? A trap door and a whoopee cushion? Liam refuses to participate in these high school theatrics but says he hasn't given up just yet. Ivy assures the guys they'll figure something out.
Back at the Casa Nueva, it's capital-A Awkward. Crickets are chirping. Annie tries to liven up the mood by telling them about the film she's been making with Kris Jr. She showers him with compliments, and he returns that she's his "muse, babe." Harry grills him on his friends and activities at West Bev. As we know, those would be limited to Annie and blowing artsy fartsy smoke (among other things) up Annie's ass, respectively. Seeing where this is going, Annie goes on a rant about the sucky lemmings at West Bev. She rants that she never had any true friends there. Kris Jr. calms her down, so she apologizes for freaking out.
Debbie and Harry notice the thrall he has on her and nervously exit the room. After they leave, Kris Jr. asks if he's blowing his big chance to wow the parents. She catches him up about Dixon spilling the whole "drug dealer" thing literally seconds before he rang the doorbell. He doesn't get a chance to respond before Debbie calls them into the dining room. He addresses the "rumor" straightaway, before he even sits down. He gives this great speech about how hard it's been for him to fit in at West Bev and how he didn't care what anyone thought about him until he met Annie. He says Annie gives him a place in the world and asks the Wilsons to give him a chance because he only wants what's best for Annie. It really is perfect. If only it weren't total bullshit.
Back at West Bev, Naomi sashays into the unloading party in a completely inappropriate outfit for heavy lifting. (Unless you count a $5,000 jacket, tight leather pants, and three-inch stilettos appropriate for manual labor.) She spots Liam trying to carry an extremely heavy box by himself and has to help him move it to a nearby desk. Once it's down, she sees that he's hurt his hand and gets all Florence Nightingale on him. They stare at each other longingly. He takes the chance to tell her that he would take back all the Prom Night drama from last year if he could and that he thinks about it every day. With horrible timing, Navid interrupts the heart-to-heart, and Liam sees his chance to abruptly shut off his stream of emotions. He jumps up, leaving Naomi looking hurt but yearning.
Over at the hospital, Kelly calls Silver to tell her she's arrived to pick her up. She heads to Jackie's room and finds it's been stripped and cleaned by a custodian. Unfortunately, the cleaning lady doesn't know what's happened. Kelly assumes the worst and collapses against the wall.
Back in that dreadful nature, Jen drinks her wine and reads her Times as a soaking wet Matthews loads up the last of the equipment. He gets in the car, and she proposes they cut their losses and head back home. He thinks out loud what a huge mistake he's made trying to bring some of himself into the relationship. Jen can't believe that he doesn't like rubbing elbows with the upper echelon of Beverly Hills society. He points out how uncomfortable and judged it makes him feel. They sit in silence for a while. Matthews promises to take her home once the weather lets up, then dozes off to the sound of the rain.
Hospital. Silver finds Kelly, still crumpled up in the corridor. In tears, she admits that Silver was right and that she regrets not saying goodbye to Jackie properly. Silver tells Kelly that it's not too late, that Jackie's still alive and has just been moved to a private room. Kelly breathes a sigh of relief.
Back at La Casa Nueva, Annie tries to point out the highlights of the family meet-and-greet shit show that just went down. She thinks things turned around after the antipasti and appreciates the fact that Harry and Debbie are going to give Kris Jr. another chance. Quite the opposite, though. Harry tells Annie she shouldn't see Kris Jr. anymore. First, there's the rumor, then the fact that he's "odd" (a phrase often used to describe serial killers, I might mention), and finally that Annie is so clearly reshaping her personality to accommodate him. Debbie assures her they're doing what's best for her. Annie flips the bitch switch and starts back into her antisocial rant. She insists her parents no longer know her. Well, hobo-killing does change a person. But, in that respect, Kris Jr. doesn't really know her either, now, does he?
Hospital. Kelly comes to make peace with Jackie. She apologizes for taking so long to come around. Jackie admits to being a terrible mother. She says Kelly didn't turn out to be what she expected. Kelly braces herself for more criticism, but Jackie says Kelly turned out better than she could have ever imagined -- much more responsible and caring, particularly in regards to Silver. She says Kelly's an amazing person, strong, and a great mother (though I suspect the long-lost Sammy might beg to differ... where in the Sam Hill is that kid?). Jackie tearfully apologizes for everything that's gone wrong between them. Tears stream down Kelly's face as she forgives her. Jackie admits she was hanging on for this very moment and tells Kelly she loves her.
Back at West Bev, BMOC finds Naomi in the parking lot to give her a second chance now that she's apologized to Captain Crunch. He tells her he's falling for her and leans in for a kiss. She turns her head woefully. She decides to ride this honesty wave to the shore and admits that, even though she did dream of finding and falling for a BMOC, she's still hung up on someone else. BMOC actually takes it quite well, and walks into the night skyline from whence he came.
Across town, Annie breaks it to Kris Jr. over the phone that her parents forbid her to see him. He tells her to calm down, it's not worth getting mad over, but his pacing and gritted teeth reveal that the wheels of destruction and revenge are turning in his mind. He tells her they'll figure something out. They hang up, and he hurls the phone across the room.
Over at AAdrianna's house, the pill-popper herself eyes her stash when Naomi suddenly walks in to moan about losing the perfect guy and how generally tragic her life is. AAdrianna nervously eyes the orange plastic bottle, which Naomi hasn't bothered to notice, so AAdrianna asks her to shut the door and waits until Naomi has turned her back to hide the drugs. She does it with all the subtlety of a dump truck and manages to tip Naomi off with the clacking of the bottle as she shoves it into the purse. Naomi forgets her paltry troubles for a moment and takes AAdrianna to task for lying again. She tosses the pills at her and walks out on her. Since the pills are at arm's reach, AAdrianna pops a couple more. The face she makes tells me to insert "bitter pill to swallow" jokes here.
Back in the woods, Matthews wakes up to find that the rain has stopped and Jen has set up all the camping gear. She even sacrificed her Styles section to build the fire. Now that's romance and self-sacrifice! She apologizes for forcing him to attend all those chi-chi events but says she understands why he wasn't honest with her. She has come not to expect honesty in a relationship. This notion unsettles Matthews, who thinks nothing she could tell him would change his feelings for her. She admits she's broke and living off her still-in-high-school baby sister. He registers that with ease, saying that, if anything, he's datingher in spite of her money. Then he asks how she lost it all. She admits she blew it trying to land her husband. The fact that she's married knocks Matthews back, and the hits just keep on coming as she admits that she's in the midst of an ugly divorce. Matthews sits down to ask why she kept this from him. She starts to tear up when she has to admit that the relationship ended because her husband cheated. Crocodile tears, bitch. You manipulated and lied your way into sleeping with your own sister's boyfriend. Of course she conveniently omits this little chapter in her life story, so Matthews takes it all with a grain of salt and promises never to cheat on her. They cuddle by the campfire, a million sparks flying above them and a million more lies floating between them.
The morning, Silver and Kelly are still at the hospital holding Jackie's hands. Jackie lets out her dying breath, and the heart monitor goes flat. Silver and Kelly grab hands and weep silently over Jackie.
Over at West Bev, Navid is walking through the halls alone when he is suddenly ambushed by Kris Jr. and pushed down the stairs. Kris Jr. stares over him, aghast at what he's done -- or maybe he's horrified because he subconsciously senses that he's eternally bonded with Annie in bloody murder? The school bell rings. People flood in and Kris Jr. flees. Down the hall from where Navid has landed, Ivy starts in on her plan to take down Jen. But we'll never know if it's smarter than Mr. Big Dix's because they hear the cries for help and rush to Navid, who is unconscious and bloodied. Cut to black.
In two weeks: The Jen takedown is on. Screwball silent film-style. It involves old-timey costumes and a horse race. A little zany, considering Navid may be paraplegic, no?
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see where the Bev-Niners will be 20 Years from Now.