By Lady Lola
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Holy crap! Two proposed takedowns, a drug spiral in the making, cherry popping, and sibling rivalry reaching a boiling point. Things are poised for a shit storm of calamitous proportions. Bring it, bitches!
Dixon continues to mope about his dead nonexistent baby. Guilt drives him to try to get in touch with DJ Hottie, who has been ignoring his phone calls per Debbie's threats. Seeing that their son is a persistent little bastard (no pun intended), Debbie and Harry finally give him the full story on DJ Hottie's fake pregnancy. Instead of realizing that they saved him from a life of misery with a crazy hooker, he turns into a little bitch about it and throws it in Debbie's face that she's not his real mother. He also remains on bad terms with Annie, but that's mostly her fault.
Silver's story starts more than a decade ago, when Jackie was too drunk to remember her own name, let alone her accidental daughter's birthdays. So Silver started celebrating half-birthdays to dull the pain of unfulfilled expectations. Flash forward to the present: Naomi is especially keen on celebrating Silver's half-birthday this year since being Jackie's primary caregiver has put a damper on Silver's social life. But Silver thinks it's too much and tries to cancel it. Teddy gets wind of the situation and goes to work his charms on Jackie. He chips in some of his father's Hollywood set designers and allows Jackie to fulfill every one of Silver's birthday wishes since she was five years old. And she plans to have a proper barbecue with all of her friends. This amends-making comes not a moment too soon, because the morning of the party, Jackie goes and pulls a Joyce Summers on Silver's ass. Sadness.
Kris Jr. confronts Navid about whole "drug dealer" rumor. He basically shames Navid into thinking he was wrong about it, ironically causing Navid to approach him to make a formal apology and see him dealing the dope -- to Aadrianna, who straight-up steals money for Silver's half-birthday present for her happy pills, but that story is still developing at a rapid clip. Navid calls her to tell her he saw her, but she denies it. Also in denial is Annie, who continues to be entranced by the over-the-top compliments Kris Jr. doles out to her on a minute-by-minute basis. Seriously, he tells her she's an amazing actress and even gets her an audition for a Shia LaBeouf movie. Now if that's not a get-in-your-pants move, I don't know what is. And it works. So, while Annie and Kris Jr. make sweet, sweet, virginity-quashing love, Navid and RuWill team up to take Kris Jr. down.
Speaking of takedowns… Liam is acting a fool all over the place, keeping his rage about Jen's lies bottled up. Instead of coming clean, he returns to his pre-Outward Boot Camp ways and starts picking fights with both friends and strangers. Finally, he comes clean to Dixon, Teddy and Ivy about sleeping with Jen, explaining the circumstances and what a manipulative hussy she is. They vow to take her down as a group. I am literally licking my lips at the prospect of this ragtag bunch going up against Jen. It's like Stephen King's It all over again. Don't forget your asthma spray, kids!
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: Jackie got sick, Silver got stuck with her. Teddy offered to bond over his own experiences with dead and/or dying mothers. AAdrianna crashed. Ivy crushed. Jen lied (what's new?). Annie smooched. Her new bf dealt drugs.
Harry finds Dixon in a comatose-like state playing a video game. He tells Dixon some good news: Dixon's back on the surf team. Naturally, Dixon looks this gift in the mouth. It's all a function of his guilt over the fake miscarriage and DJ Hottie's refusal to give him closure, per Debbie's instruction to get out and stay the hell out. Dixon is in the throes of an existential crisis, basically. And being a real bitch about it. As you do.
Downstairs, Harry pushes Debbie again to tell Dixon the truth about DJ Hottie making up the pregnancy. Debbie thinks it'll be worse if Dixon knows what happened and tells Harry to trust her until Dixon snaps out of his funk. Don't hold your breath, Debs.
Meanwhile, Silver feeds Jackie her health cocktail of pills and electrolytes before going over Jackie's nursing schedule for the day. Jackie is amazed how organized Silver is. Silver says she's always been organized, and her description of all the things she's done to demonstrate this are lost on Jackie, who was bombed out of her mind on booze for pretty much all of Silver's youth. Yeah, these two have some bonding to do. Before it's too late.
The day at West Bev, Naomi makes some gross innuendos about her BMOC boyfriend's cock, then asks whether she should accompany him and his throbbing member to a frat party at CU that weekend. She assumes no since it's Silver's half-birthday, but Silver says she doesn't plan on celebrating this year in light of her mom's illness. AAdrianna walks up looking pretty listless and dull, even though she claims she's doing better. She apologizes for being a mess and assures them she's okay. Silver heads off, leaving Naomi and AAdrianna to discuss her. Naomi's worried that Silver isn't up for celebrating, and AAdrianna agrees it would be a good way to take her mind off of Jackie for a bit. They decide to at least get her a gift -- a massage. Now that she's back on the pills, AAdrianna says she's a little low on cash. Naomi offers to cover it as long as AAdrianna picks up the gift certificate. She hands her a card and a wad of cash. This is going nowhere fast.