Episode Report Card Lady Lola: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT This Is Your Brain on Prom
By Lady Lola | Season 1 | Episode 24 | Aired on 05.19.2009
Over at the hospital, black-eyed Navid gets sass from a receptionist, who thinks his Prom Night dust-up isn't worth her time. He finally hangs up her phone so she will notice that the crack baby is, like, halfway out of AAdrianna's vajayj. Credits.
Back at prom, Harry has invited the bastard hybrid of Kidz Bop and RockaPella to perform at his own school-sanctioned Post Prom-a-Palooza. He's even broken out the Wii and stocked up an ice cream Sundae Bar. This is going to be one crazy night! Debbie heads inside while Harry and Kelly have a flirty conversation. STOP IT! Harry gets a little handsy with Kelly, asking her to save his place in line at the Sundae Bar as he heads over to Debbie. He asks why she's not wearing her kick-ass "One party can ruin your whole summer" T-shirt, and she's all, "Oh, shoot! I forgot." Love it! Kelly interrupts to say she got a text that AAdrianna is in labor. They run out, and Harry grabs a tray of brownies along the way.
The party is in full swing over at Grifter Manor. Kids are spilling drinks and dropping food, as they are wont to do. Annie stoops down to frantically pick up the mess, and SG stomps up in her stilettos, stepping on Annie's hand. Then she has the nerve to be a bitch to Annie -- the one person trying to maintain some semblance of order. SG snaps up Annie's wrap and heads outside for air.
Across the room, Dixon and Ethan watch Silver. Dixon complains that he signed up for a regular high school girlfriend, but he got Silver. All the while Silver dances around, laughs, and enjoys the post-prom party -- a.k.a. all the things that normal high school girls do. Ethan reminds Dixon that Silver is better than a run-of-the-mill high school girl. She has "life force!" The first of many creepy looks crosses his face as he espouses all of Silver's virtues. He realizes he's blowing his cover and returns reassuring Dixon that he and Silver make a great couple. Dixon gets a goofy teenager-in-love look on his face as he remembers how much he loves Silver, and Ethan winces in the background. It's actually a great still frame, this. I'm considering making it my screen saver. Dixon heads off to hang with Silver, and Ethan takes out a solo prom snapshot of Silver and stares at it longingly. Annnnd he is verging on stalker right about now.
Hospital. Kelly, Harry, and Debbie arrive. Harry and Debbie worry that they haven't heard from Annie and Dixon but are quickly distracted when Harry pulls out the brownies he purloined from the Post Prom-a-Palooza. Debbie calls him a piglet, and he almost doesn't share with her. They sink their teeth in: "Mmmmmmmm..."
Cue AAdrianna squealing like, say, a piglet. And stressing like crazy. She is worried because the adoptive parents and DinaLite haven't arrived, Ty hasn't signed the waiver voiding his parental rights, and -- worst of all -- she doesn't have a toothbrush. Naomi, ever the nurturer, consoles her: "Don't worry, your breath doesn't smell that bad!" Kelly scrambles in (are this many people allowed in the delivery room?), saying she left a message with Brenda, who is inexplicably in China. AAdrianna takes this as yet more evidence she is not ready to have a baby. But, two seconds later, she has no choice. The baby's heart rate drops, and the doctors scuttle her away for an emergency C-section.
Grifter Manor. Dixon, Ethan, and the jocks slug down champagne as Annie scampers around like a Hall Monitor. She finds smug Liam, who has sketched a picture of her with an erupting volcano on top of her head. So clever that one, going all multimedia with his metaphors! Ugh.
Hospital. Navid holds the world's newest Baby Girl. He tries to persuade AAdrianna, who has her back turned, to hold her, but she coldly tells him to take the baby away. She stares forward blankly, shut off from this painful moment in reality. He heads out to the lobby to tell everyone that the baby has arrived safely and can be viewed in that weird conservatory where they keep little creatures. Everyone heads over there, save Debbie and Harry. Harry starts to ask Navid where Dixon and Annie are, but he blanks on Annie's name. I take infinite pleasure in this. Navid says he doesn't know where they went, so Harry asks if they're still at his house. Navid suddenly remembers that they were supposed to be having a party at his place and covers for them, then makes a quick exit. Debbie and Harry go into panic mode, wondering what they should do to find the kids. Debbie thinks they should drive around, then starts yawning widely. Harry laughs at how she yawns like a roaring lion. He does an impression of her, which, in turn, causes him to yawn. They dissolve into hilarity, finally realizing that, hey! They're really hungry! And drowsy! And loopy! And everything's suddenly a laugh riot! And, oh yeah, they ate those brownies! Those special brownies... In short, they are stoned. More importantly, stoned enough to realize how amusing this situation is.
Grifter Manor. Ethan spots Silver sitting alone at a table and joins her. She notes how distant she feels from Dixon since he won Prom King. Ethan points out that she is, in fact, technically prom royalty herself. She counters that that's not her deal. And here we go again with the outsider spiel, blah, blah, blah... Ethan notes that her differences from Dixon make her wonderful and, indeed, there are 364 other days of the year when those differences aren't so alienating. He chokes out that they are actually a great couple. She is relieved and gives him a hug. She notices that Ethan and Dixon accidentally swapped jackets. He looks over at Dixon nervously, remembering the stalker photo. Commercials.
Back at the Manor, Ethan heads over to Dixon at his impromptu DJ booth, saying they mixed up their jackets. Dixon takes it off, revealing just a sliver of the photo in Ethan's inside pocket. Ethan looks on, frazzled, but Dixon just asks if Ethan has any song requests. All is well... for now.
Hospital. Harry and Debbie jot down ideas on the topic "How to find kids." Ha! They rule out driving since they're stoned and loudly whisper about whether they should call a cab or just write down "Call a cab." Double ha. Kelly walks up, and they try to act all cool, but Debbie can't resist whispering, loud enough for Kelly to hear, "Should we tell her?" Harry confesses, at full volume, that they may have inadvertently scarfed down some pot brownies and now they're too stoned to drive around to find their kids. Cue snickers all around. Kelly assures them that they have good kids, and everything is probably fine. Crisis averted, Harry moves on to the issue of snacks. Kelly seductively fingers his collar as she promises to visit the vending machine. "Paranoid" Debbie eyes this development, then tells Harry Kelly has a crush on him as soon as she is out of earshot. Harry pawns it off to the pot, and they refocus their loopy energy onto some random guy who they think is staring at them. And he probably is. Because they're acting like weirdos.
Grifter Manor. Annie finds Faux-ria Swanson puking and barely stand in the bathroom. She offers to give her a ride home. Sucker.
Outside, Jen and Annie's find Liam. She notes how bored he looks before introducing herself as "Zelda," Naomi's next door neighbor. She says his name sounds familiar to her, then unleashes all his most private and embarrassing stories on him with absolutely no remorse. He angrily asks where she heard these stories, and she implies that it's the talk of the town, thanks to Naomi. She manipulates Liam into denouncing his relationship with Naomi and heading upstairs with her. Gross.
Hospital. Brenda visits AAdrianna straight from a performance, in full-out Cleopatra regalia. AAdrianna notes the crazy coincidence that they're both playing Cleopatra. Brenda further teases out their similarities -- their love of drama, their dramatic lives. She asks about the baby, and AAdrianna is obviously uncomfortable talking about her. Brenda invites AAdrianna to take a walk. Once in the hallway, AAdrianna spots the name Jim Walsh on a hospital room and asks if it's a relative of Brenda. She says, "Yeah, that's my father. He's dying, actually." Commercials.
When we return and pick our jaws up off the ground, we see Brenda and AAdrianna staring at dying Jim Walsh's room. AAdrianna sympathizes deeply, but Brenda's too busy hoping the hospital caf has Jell-O with marshmallows. AAdrianna's all, "Your father's dying, and you want Jell-O?!" And, knowing Brenda's predilection for dramatics -- I mean, come on. Homegirl flipped out when she over-processed her hair -- this uber-cool, almost alien response is totally out of character. AAdrianna says Brenda should be with her father, regardless of how painful, because she'll always regret it if she doesn't say goodbye. And if you hadn't yet realized this was a dream, Brenda randoms, "Have you met my dragon?" Cue Chinese Dragon, which Brenda starts petting all sexy-like. What? AAdrianna implores Brenda to say goodbye to her father, but Brenda says she must head to China, then vanishes into thin air. AAdrianna wakes up, startled. She heads over to the baby-torium and meets her little girl for the first time.
Grifter Manor. Silver and all her Prom Court cronies jump into the pool fully clothed. Silver swims placidly, no doubt attempting to emulate Natalie Portman in Garden State. Ethan looks on, creepy as ever and no doubt attempting to emulate Zach Braff in Garden State. Dixon spots him and steps u