Lucy and Kevin enter the kitchen, and the CamRents automatically (and understandably) assume they're there to steal some dinner. RevCam sounds annoyed that their theft of leftovers will leave him without a lunch tomorrow, and I applaud the sudden appearance of his backbone, however brief I'm sure it will be. It turns out they're not there for dinner at all; Lucy needs to tattle on Simon for asking Kevin for a five-hundred-dollar loan. To his credit, Kevin isn't very pleased that his wife is making him tell on his brother-in-law. Not to his credit, Kevin is also pissed that Lucy doesn't consider Simon to be his brother as well as hers. This might -- just might -- have something to do with the fact that Simon is Lucy's brother and not Kevin's, but that's just my wild speculation. Lucy responds that she doesn't appreciate the fact that Kevin thinks he can just loan their money out without her approval. She has a point, but then again, Kevin's the one who brings all the money into their marriage, and it's not like Lucy has contributed anything in kind. No, Lucy, whining does not count as a contribution.
For once, RevCam isn't interested in his daughter's marital problems; he just wants to know what Simon needs the loan for. Kevin says Simon didn't say, and RevCam says it's "unlike" Kevin to loan out so much money without knowing what it's for. Seriously. Kevin is so damn cheap he won't even buy his wife a computer for her schoolwork, and now he's just going to give Simon five hundred dollars for mysterious purposes? Kevin says he'll find out when he drives up to Simon's school to give him the money, and asks what's wrong with that. "So many things," Annie says, obviously referring to the high gas prices Kevin will have to pay to make the trip, since I don't see what else could be wrong. RevCam asks to go with him, even though he just said he had to work tomorrow and I thought Simon's college was an all-day trip. And how nice of Kevin to just drop everything to go up there and hand some money to Simon. You'd think Simon, the one who needs the money, would be the one making that effort, but apparently not. Or maybe Kevin just wants the chance to get away from his wife, who is currently talking about how much better her dad is at solving problems than him. Kevin says he just wants a chance to solve the family problems. Well, as long as there's a patriarchal figure doing the problem-solving, I don't see any reason to complain about which one it is. RevCam seems to agree with me, as he tells Kevin to go ahead. "What?!?" say Annie and Lucy in disbelief. RevCam reminds Kevin that this could be a "parental matter" that will be over Kevin's head, and asks him to call if he can't handle things. SherLucy Holmes calls this a trap. RevCam says it is. Kevin doesn't care. Really, he shouldn't care about any of this. In the Land of Normal, people are usually happy to stay well away from their in-laws' problems.
There are no faker smiles than the ones displayed by the SevHev cast in the opening credits.
“ Kevin finds Simon talking to a group of friends, and -- oh dear. Simon went and got himself a Season Four RevCam: When Receding Hairlines and Caesar Cuts Combine haircut. Not flattering. ”
For our Opening Credits Timewaster, Kevin struts across Simon's campus, attracting the attention of many female students. "Hello," they say, posing seductively with their asses and chests prominently thrust outwards. Their behavior doesn't surprise me, though, considering that Simon is a Sex God on this campus. Obviously, they don't get much in the way of HOTT men.
Kevin finds Simon talking to a group of friends, and -- oh dear. Simon went and got himself a Season Four RevCam: When Receding Hairlines and Caesar Cuts Combine haircut. Not flattering. Simon thanks Kevin for coming to give him the money, especially since his only other option was dealing with his dad and all his nosy questions. Instead, he'll deal with nosy questions from Kevin, presented in the most time-filling and roundabout way possible. Eventually, Simon reveals that he got kicked out of his dorm for letting a homeless female student stay with him, and he needs the money for the security deposit on an apartment. Also, the girl originally hails from Glenoak, as, it would seem, does most of the student body at Low Standards University. Kevin tells Simon he doesn't want to give him money if "Mom and Dad" wouldn't approve of what it's for. Isn't Kevin's dad dead, and his mom, Bo Derek? I think she'd be cool with it, despite her penchant for giving her children bizarre names like "Patty Mary." Oh -- Kevin's talking about the CamRents, and he calls them "Mom" and "Dad" because he's "weird." And he doesn't think the CamRents will approve of Simon's desire to share an apartment with a female, even though Simon insists that she is just a friend. I guess Kevin didn't see the episode where Matt was allowed to move into an apartment with THREE women and the CamRents didn't mind that. Obviously the writers didn't see that episode either, so why would he? Kevin thinks he should ask the CamRents if this is okay. Simon begs Kevin to leave the rest of his horrible family out of it. Kevin considers this, presented to us in a weird low-angle shot through a fish-eye lens. Did Hype Williams direct this episode?
RevCam tells the phone to "come to Papa." Whatever tickles your pickle, dude. Annie calls, wondering if they should call the school and find out what's going on with Simon. Or maybe they could call Simon's roommate, whose name is, in fact, Monty. Not "Moddy," and while I can understand why Stephen Collins might want to hit the bottle before his scenes, it would cause less confusion if he didn't slur his lines.