I’d like to thank Daniel for subbing for me while I was out of the country, blissfully unaware of what was going on in the Camdens' lives. But I must also categorically deny Daniel's allegations that his decision to sub for me was made under any sort of duress. Here's what really happened: I was all set to do last week's recap, but then Daniel came up and started begging me for another chance to recap Ruthie and the gang. And I said no, and then he pulled a blackjack out of his back pocket and the thing I knew I was stuck in a crate, being shipped off to Latvia, and there was a note taped to my forehead that I pulled off and read in the dim, yet sufficient, lighting of the plane's cargo bay, and it said, "I'm sorry to do this to you, but I just need to see Ruthie. I hope you understand. Daniel." And I just want to tell Daniel that he needs to seek help for his problem.
The twins pledge their allegiance to the Zombie Union of Podpeople. Incidentally, the ZUoP flag looks a lot like the American flag. The Pledge of Allegiance sounds a lot like America's, too, except they say "invisible liberty" instead of "indivisible with liberty." RevCam, who has been spying on the twins from the corner of the bedroom (normally, not such a good hiding place. But then, this is the twins we're talking about), rushes over to correct them. As he explains the meaning of the word "indivisible," SamVid point out that that's not exactly a fitting adjective, since the country is currently divided over the upcoming elections. There are those who want "that stupid man" to be president, and those who want "that other stupid man" to be president. RevCam sighs and asks the twins if they've been talking to Martin. SamVid say they've been getting their information from the TV, where the election news has been interrupting their cartoons. This sets RevCam off on a lecture about how the two men running for president are not stupid, and we shouldn't call anyone stupid, and we should all respect the current president and the man who's running against him (apparently, one way we can do this is by not mentioning their actual names) and then RevCam's speech turns into a series of overlapping "blahs." I didn't think anything of this, as this is what I usually hear in my head when RevCam is talking, but then my mom started cracking up and I realized that they had actually written this into the show. Like, the writers just said, "You know what? I can't think of anything to write, and everything I do write is pointless boring crap anyway, so I'm just going to make my apathy and lack of talent into a plot device!" Which is all sorts of pathetic, but I thought it was hilarious and a welcome respite from RevCam usual stuttering pamphlet-read of a lecture, so I'll let it pass.
RevCam stops lecturing the twins when he sees Martin in the hallway. He runs out to meet him, and tells Martin that his "enthusiasm" about the upcoming election has been spilling into their home. He asks Martin to be more positive about "the basic freedoms" of America, and then the blah blah blah starts up again as Martin looks on, appearing totally stoned out of his mind.
Ruthie comes downstairs and tells her dad that she didn't finish her homework. Bad move, Ruthie -- now she'll be subjected to the third RevLecture in as many minutes. But not us! For it quickly turns into blah blah blahs as Ruthie and Martin stare blankly. Man, when Mackenzie Rosman and Tyler Hoechlin got their scripts and read "blank stare" in the stage directions, they must have been thrilled. "Finally!" they said, "they are writing to our strengths!" When RevCam finishes speaking, Ruthie and Martin go downstairs. On their way out the front door, they remark that sometimes, when RevCam speaks, they just don't listen.
Lucy enters the backdoor, only to be assaulted by Annie's fake happy face and fake cheery good morning tidings. The real Annie is soon revealed as she starts nagging at Lucy to register to vote. Lucy is ashamed that she hasn't done it yet, and makes sure Annie hasn't told anyone Lucy's non-dirty non-secret. Lucy says she'll register on her way home from dropping SamVid off at school. When did Lucy start driving the short bus? She really is a busy woman! Annie hammers in the importance of Lucy voting, as she's a woman and a future mother and blah blah blah into the credits. Wow, this might just be the best episode of this show ever! Oh, I spoke too soon -- I see Dopey is appearing in this episode.
Opening Credits Timewaster: Glenoakian high school students leave for the day. Martin puts his bag down and pulls out a paper. Apparently, he's so geekily thrilled that he got an A+ on his political science essay that he just has to interrupt his egress from school to stare at it. Ruthie arrives, sees Martin's paper, and congratulates him as fakely as possible. Suddenly, the Violins of Suspense play as two boys walk past Martin and Ruthie, loudly dissing nameless politicians and the war in Iraq. Martin angrily grabs his bag and takes off as the Saxophones of Misinformed Children play us into a close-up of Ruthie rolling her eyes. True that, Ruthie.
Martin jumps in front of the two guys and tells them that they have the freedom to say whatever they want in this country -- unlike Iraq. Boy 1 calls Martin a "hawk" and says that innocent people are dying. Martin says that innocent people were dying before the United States ever got involved. "Right on, dude," says another kid, whose name is probably Sad Example Of The Writers' Bizarre Concept Of The Way Today's Kids Speak. Jill, who has now taken to wearing a hijab, like any moderate Muslim would, pulls up alongside Ruthie as other groups of multi-ethnic kids listen in on the conversation. Jill says that she has relatives in Iraq, and they're totally grateful to America because now they have hope for their future. Wait -- isn't Jill Dupree French? Wasn't there an entire episode devoted to that fact? But I guess if she's Muslim, she must have family in the Middle East. Much like I have family in Israel because I'm Jewish. Except that I don't. Another vaguely Middle-Eastern-looking kid says that he has family in Iraq, and they don't have electricity. He should count his blessings. Just look at Yasmin, who must have moved to Iraq and died, since we haven't seen her in like three years.
Martin explains that it isn't the military's job to put up power lines, being sure to subtly mention that his father is in said military. Some dorky little white kid, who apparently gets all his information from Wilson Rawls books, whines that there are people in "Appalachia" who can't pay for electricity, and the politicians should be paying more attention to them. Another guy asks if that's supposed to mean that America shouldn't have anything to do with other countries. "Yeah, that's exactly what it means," the dorky white kid Monroe Doctrines. Martin says that when things happen in one part of the world, it affects everyone. "So why isn't the U.S. stepping in to protect Africa? Why isn't the Sudan in the news every day?" asks an African-American student, because all African-Americans, and only African-Americans, are concerned with African issues. Some squinty-eyed guy with a Jewfro -- let's just call him Shylock Van Jewenstein -- says something about how we need to have peace in the entire Middle East. "If you ask me," pipes up an Asian-American student -- and no one did ask him, and shouldn't they all be going "blah blah blah" by now? -- "we should be paying more attention to North Korea. I mean, we oughta be putting some funds towards that situation." A Native American-looking guy says something about his people being treated badly. And then a yucky blonde girl pipes up that historically, America has always helped other countries out, which isn't true, but whatever. She goes on to explain that this is important to her because she's "Italian -- second generation." And I'm profoundly irritated, first generation. Italian, Second Generation explains that America rescued the Italians from Mussolini during WWII. And that she loves pizza! A different African-American student interrupts her to mention that Mussolini would be a hundred and twenty years old today, and we should police our own neighborhoods instead of the world. Shouldn't she also add something about the situation in Africa? Or slavery? Or something else that she, as an African-American, would automatically care about to the exclusion of all else? Suddenly, a teacher pops up from out of nowhere and tells the kids to move along because he doesn't make very much money. Maybe he would get a raise if he wasn't so concerned with breaking up "intelligent" political discourse from his students.
Immediately afterwards, the kids have instantly cleared and Martin is peeved at Ruthie for not adding her own opinion to the debate. Ruthie says she just didn't feel like offering it. If she had, however, it certainly would have been something about the situation in Latin America.
Kevin comes home and tells Lucy that he put gas in her car. He is rewarded with a chaste kiss on the lips. The honeymoon just never stops with those two. Lucy says she's on her way to a "political debate" about women's issues. Kevin asks her how she's planning to use the information she'll gain from the debate, since, he says with a big old smirk on his face, he knows that she isn't registered to vote. Lucy claims that she registered this morning, but gets caught in a lie when she can't tell Kevin where she went to register. Because she's that dumb. Kevin asks Lucy about her political leanings, since they've never discussed politics before. Lucy says that now is not a good time to start, and takes off. Actually, since the election is coming up, it's a great time to start, but go on living in your World of Stupid, Lucy.
The twins put their clean clothes away by tossing the entire pile into one single drawer and then wondering why it won't close. They accuse each other of being stupid. That's like the mouse accusing the rat of being a rodent, isn't it?
Ruthie sulks up to Annie, who tells her that her laundry is done and ready to be put away. Ruthie says she'll do it later, which earns her a lecture from Annie about how Ruthie has responsibilities in their house, which apparently don't include doing her own laundry. As she's speaking, she goes into blah blah blah mode again, then asks Ruthie what's wrong. Ruthie says she was humiliated at school today because her interest in boys has "overshadowed [her] interest in just about everything else in this world." I don't know if Annie's the right person to be talking to about this, since her interest in making cookies has overshadowed her interest in everything else in this world. Plus, isn't it a good thing in CamLand to be an ignorant woman who leaves the important decisions to the nearest wise patriarch? Annie tells Ruthie that she's still young enough to learn things and form her own opinions and whatever. Ruthie replies that maybe in the "olden days" people could spend their childhood and teenage years being ignorant about politics, but today's fast-moving youth need to keep informed about current events so that they don't get yelled at by Martin. Annie says that Martin has been getting closer to "exploding" as the election draws near. And, you know, after writing off other characters by having them go on an endless summer vacation, move to a duplex, leave town after running over a child, and just plain disappear, having Martin's ouster explained by him exploding would almost make sense. And I hope it happens soon. Ruthie declares that she is "giving up on boys and getting on the internet." If that isn't the start of a career in online lesbian porn, then I don't know what is. Ruthie laments that they still don't have the internet in the CamPound, which isn't true, since I had to recap the episode where RevCam and Annie used their home's internet connection to engage in some G-rated cybersex and it will forever be burned into my mind. Annie suggests that Ruthie listen to NPR. Ruthie leaves.
And because one character has left the room, a vacuum of space has been created that must immediately be filled by another character, according to the 7th Heaven Laws of Physics. So RevCam enters and asks Annie what's wrong with Ruthie. He's pleased to hear that Ruthie has decided to give up boys. She can still date Peter and Harry, though, right? Annie starts to talk about Martin, but they're interrupted by the twins, who are calling each other stupid. RevCam leaves to take care of that.
The twins have assumed fighting stances from the 1920s as they prepare for a bout of pugilistic entertainment. RevCam scolds the boys for calling each other stupid, adding that he just told them this morning that they are not to call anyone stupid. The twins don't remember RevCam telling them this because he had gone into overlapping blahs, and also because I'm pretty sure at least one of them is deaf. SamVid say that they see the anonymous politicians calling each other stupid and "waving the flag at the same time" on television. Which campaign ads are they watching? Because those sound kind of awesome. RevCam says that name-calling is a "last-ditch effort" and it's wrong and then blah blah blah. Suddenly, RevCam stops short and looks alarmed. "Think about that," he says, and leaves, still looking stricken. I think Stephen Collins just realized that he's working for one of the worst shows to ever be on television.
RevCam meets Annie in the hall and wonders if Simon stole the children's ability to listen to him when he left for school. Yes, it's all Simon's fault. Are you sure there isn't a way to blame this on Mary, RevCam? Annie whines that no one has been paying attention to her lately, either. Like Lucy, who still hasn't registered to vote. RevCam says that Kevin isn't registered in California either. Then he realizes that he wasn't supposed to tell anyone about that. Annie smiles and says that she wasn't supposed to reveal that info about Lucy, either. It sure is funny when we betray our daughters, isn't it, Annie? RevCam wonders if any of their children or in-laws are registered to vote. Annie has no idea, and suddenly RevCam is blaming her for their children's political apathy because he thinks she didn't vote in the last election. "Thou doth protest too much!" says Annie, adding that perhaps RevCam is so concerned with people voting in this election because he himself did not vote in the last election. Why don't they know if the other one voted, first of all, and second of all, why do they even care this much? Their argument is cut short by the shouts of the twins, who are still calling each other stupid. Which they are, but even stupider are Annie and RevCam, who initially thought that the twins' voices were their own. Then they realize it's the twins and RevCam sets off to fix things again.
Kevin leaves the drug store with a suspicious plain brown paper bag. Oh, Kevin. It's a little too late for over-the-counter morning-after pills. He sees Lucy and asks her how the "political debate" went. She says it was fine, and now she's getting some food. Kevin points out that she can register to vote right on the Promenade. Lucy says that she already registered, and calls Kevin annoying. Somehow, this reveals to Kevin that she did not, in fact, register, and Kevin admits that he isn't registered either. He smirks as Lucy gets mad at Kevin for nagging her all that time. "You should be ashamed of yourself," says Lucy. "Why, because you're ashamed of yourself?" asks Kevin the Patronizing Butthole. But Lucy should be ashamed of herself for trying to pit their daughter and Lucy against Kevin, as if A. their daughter is a sentient being, B. their daughter has the ability to express her opinion, and C. even if she could formulate an opinion and express it, it's wrong to make your child choose sides in an argument between parents. But I guess this is good practice for the inevitable divorce arguments that are sure to follow in about two years' time. Lucy says that she isn't ashamed of herself for not registering because she hasn't had time, because she's, you know, a wife and a student and an associate pastor and a future mother and whatever else she says every single episode. Kevin says that he has a lot of stuff to do, too. Lucy fires back that Kevin called both Lucy and their daughter "stupid" for not registering to vote, and that they think that Kevin is "just as stupid." Whatever.
Happy watches Ruthie do her homework. Martin comes in and volunteers to help her. Ruthie asks Martin what makes him think she needs help. Martin replies that her homework is about the election and she has no opinions. Ruthie says she was just listening to NPR, as a matter of fact, so she now has lots of opinions, like about how Garrison Keillor is a genius. Therefore, she doesn't need Martin as her political advisor, especially because he lacks the ability to see both sides of an issue. Martin says he can see both sides of any issue, "the right side and the wrong side." Ruthie says that sometimes things aren't that black and white. For instance, sometimes things claim to be white, but are really Mexican. Martin implies that Ruthie is stupid because he reads the newspaper every day and she doesn't and "stupid is as stupid does." I guess Tyler Hoechlin's quoting lines from Tom Hanks movies to help him remember when he used to be in projects with actual quality. Ruthie says that Martin must be stupid to call her stupid. I'm just glad this show is finally admitting what we've all known for years: that everyone is stupid.
RevCam calls a number and gets Carlos and Mary's answering machine. "Hi honey, it's your dad," he says, and then there's about five silent seconds before Carlos, holding the new baby, picks up. Carlos is surprised that RevCam is calling, since he so "rarely" does. What a great father RevCam is! Carlos explains that Mary's not in because she's trying to have a real acting career and that does not include appearing on this show. Also, she's at a "political rally," but Carlos is not allowed to tell RevCam which candidate it's for. RevCam assumes that Mary is campaigning for the person that he isn't, but he says that isn't important. What is important is that everyone is registered to vote in the upcoming election. He says some more stuff, but at this point, Carlos put the phone down and starts saying "blah blah blah" to his baby, complete with mouth-imitating hand gestures. Lucy comes in the house and announces that she and Annie are going out for dinner. Carlos hears this and makes fun of RevCam for not having dinner "at this hour." RevCam blames the election for his hunger. He says he has to go, but asks Carlos to give his love to Mary and the baby and reminds him, once again, to register to vote. Carlos hangs up the phone and asks Charles why parents are so difficult to listen to. In the case of RevCam, it might be because they're nagging blowhards. Charles makes cute noises and puts his hand in Carlos's mouth. Aw!
Martin comes downstairs and says he's going out for dinner. RevCam asks him to get something for everyone. Martin says that he would, but since Ruthie called him stupid, he won't. Apparently, Martin has forgotten that he was the one who started the name-calling. Maybe it's because his dad is a marine in Iraq.
Vid comes downstairs with an empty dinner plate and says he doesn't know where Sam is. Sam comes downstairs, also with a plate, and Vid leaves. Sam says that Annie made him a sandwich, but he doesn't know "anything" about Vid or his dinner. Wow, this Sam vs. Vid plot is thrilling.
Ruthie comes downstairs, also holding an empty dinner plate. Apparently, Annie made dinner for everyone except RevCam (because she's mad at him) and Martin (because she knew she wouldn't have been able to ask him if he wanted a ham or a turkey sandwich without him lecturing her on the importance of democracy and freedom in America). Ruthie tells RevCam about how Martin accused her of being ignorant, and asks him to give Martin a "long and serious sermon." Shut up, tattletale.
Kevin comes in the house, refusing RevCam's offer of a sandwich because he's not hungry because he's just had a fight with Lucy and it's their first fight since she got pregnant. RevCam says that when Annie was pregnant, they fought all the time because women are insane and the blah blah blahs come back. And I know a lot of people said that the blah blah blah device got real old, real fast, but I still find it hilarious, as well as a real recapping time-saver. I wish they had done it more. Like every time Lucy spoke.
Speaking of the pumpkin-faced devil, Lucy and Annie are enjoying the very best cuisine that the Promenade has to offer. I think it's chicken fingers served with a variety of exciting dipping sauces. Lucy talks about her fight with Kevin, saying that she was ashamed of not having registered to vote and took it out on Kevin. And then she was "too upset" after her fight with Kevin to register, so she still hasn't registered. Is it really so difficult to register that one must be in a happy frame of mind to do so? When I registered, the process was so quick and painless that I don't even remember doing it. Although this is Lucy, the girl who could barely handle jury duty, that we're talking about. Because Annie has absolutely no control over what comes out of her mouth, she slips up, and Lucy realizes that Annie knew that Kevin hadn't registered, and now Lucy's mad that no one told her. Then she figures out that Annie told RevCam that Lucy wasn't registered either, which makes her even angrier. "Politics makes people say stupid things to each other," says Annie, as if this were an excuse for breaking her daughter's trust, even if it was a stupid secret to begin with. Lucy agrees that Annie said some stupid things, which Annie takes offense at, and then they're both sulking.
RevCam is still talking to Kevin, this time about Annie being pregnant with Matt when Reagan was running against Carter. And that's all we hear before the blah blah blahs set in. RevCam realizes that Kevin isn't paying attention to him and scolds him for it, and Kevin asks if RevCam mentioned to anyone that he wasn't registered to vote. Why does that even matter now that he's told Lucy about it? RevCam admits that it slipped out, and that politics make people say stupid things. As do bad writers, BRENDA. "Yeah, stupid…thanks for the sandwich," Kevin says, and takes off without even volunteering to clean his dish. That's pretty fucking rude, to enter someone's house without knocking, get some free food from him, very obviously not listen to what he's saying, and then leave without even cleaning up after yourself, but RevCam pretty much deserves it.
According to the 7th Heaven Property of Physics, now that Kevin has left the room, Martin can enter. He asks RevCam why he looks upset. Why does Martin care? I thought he was all mad at RevCam because Ruthie called him stupid or something. RevCam says that elections cause problems. I'm starting to think that the moral of this episode is that stupid people like the Camdens shouldn't be allowed to vote. RevCam starts to lecture Martin about talking about politics in the house, but Martin interrupts him, begging him to just tell him what he's supposed to do. And while it's always nice to see someone yelling at RevCam, I'm pretty sure RevCam told Martin what he wanted him to do at the beginning of this episode, except that Martin wasn't listening. The phone rings, and Martin leaves, disgusted.
On the phone is some random guy. It's Simon's roommate, who's "call returning," and apparently that includes returning calls that weren't meant for you. Roommate says that Simon is at the library, which RevCam doubts. Roommate won't reveal anything, and won't be fooled by RevCam. RevCam asks him to leave Simon a message about registering to vote because he only has a week left to do it. "Is that for him or everybody?" Roommate asks, which gives RevCam the perfect opportunity to tell him that it's for everybody in America, which, as some forum posters have pointed out, isn't true. Although I like Roommate's implication that there are special extended registration deadlines for Simon. Maybe in Glenoak, there's a clause that allows one to register late if one runs over a druggie child. Now RevCam wants to know if Roommate is registered to vote. Roommate doesn't want to get lectured, so he just says he'll tell Simon to call RevCam back. "Bye, Moddy," says RevCam. "Moddy"? Apparently Brenda's lost both her book of 1953's most popular baby names and her atlas and is now just naming people by picking random letters and stringing them together. Be sure to tune in week, when Martin's middle name is revealed to be "Xlcicixxlxiclxix."
Kevin comes back in the house to -- oh my god, nothing ever happens on this show. It's all people talking to each other or sermonizing to the audience and they can't even get that right. At least in earlier seasons, you'd have Mary playing basketball or RevCam getting shot or more than two characters involved in a scene at the same time. Now this show is just painfully boring and it's obvious that its only purpose is to fill an hour for the WB, which I think is just waiting for one of its other shows to beat 7th Heaven in the ratings so they can sell this crap off to PAX. Anyway, the scene ends with RevCam admitting that he didn't vote in the last election and whining that he's ashamed of himself and he's never missed an election day before.
The phone rings. It's Matt, and he's just gotten home after working an eighteen-hour shift during which he fatally misdiagnosed only eleven patients, down from yesterday's seventeen. He's returning RevCam's call, but he knows what RevCam was calling about. He says that he and PC are already registered to vote, but he's not telling his dad who they're voting for. Maybe they're voting for Bush, since one of the only things they ever agreed on or really even talked about before they got married was that they liked him. RevCam starts talking, so Matt promptly falls asleep, snoring loudly, yet still managing to hold the phone up to his ear. RevCam continues to talk to Matt, even though he hears the snoring, then hangs up. Kevin laughs at RevCam, saying he heard Matt snoring through the phone. RevCam reiterates that he's really ashamed of himself for not voting, then figures out that Kevin told Lucy that he thought RevCam didn't vote. RevCam throws his arms up in disgust. I threw my arms up in disgust a while ago. Then I fell asleep, and my arms stayed frozen in mid-air, just like Matt!
Lucy's telling Annie about how RevCam didn't vote last year, as if anyone would actually care about this, but since this is 7th Heaven, where the most ludicrous of plotlines are always explored in agonizing detail, Annie does. She's especially pissed that Lucy didn't tell her as soon as she found out about RevCam's political inactivity, because mothers and daughters are supposed to share everything with each other. So Lucy asks Annie to share whether or not she voted last year, and Annie is forced to reveal that she didn't. She tells Lucy not to tell anyone this scandalous piece of information, and Lucy says she'll "try" not to tell her husband. How magnanimous of you, Lucy. Annie has learned her lesson, so when Lucy asks her who she's voting for, Annie won't say.
Kevin and RevCam are talking about who they're voting for. "Of course I'm voting for him -- aren't you?" Kevin asks. RevCam says he is, indeed, voting for "him." You see, beginning a scene in medias res allows the show to, yet again, not say the names of any political candidate or parties. But there is a crucial flaw in their plan, since we can now firmly state that the CamMen are not voting for anyone of the female persuasion. Kevin and RevCam then figure out that, since their wives won't tell them who they're voting for, they must be voting for someone else. Is there no limit to what two brilliant minds like Kevin and RevCam's can do when combined? Maybe in the episode they'll beat SamVid in a rousing game of Team Connect Four (which will occur off-camera). ["This is 7th Heaven. I'm positive we'd be forced to watch the entire game, including the part where Sam and Vid accuse each other of eating some of the pieces." -- Sars]
Sam asks Martin who he's voting for. Martin says he isn't old enough to vote.
Ruthie is also telling Vid that she can't vote. "But that's because she's not an American citizen," says my father. Vid thinks that children should be able to vote. This gives Ruthie an idea, which we know because the Piano of Ruthie Gets A Cause starts up.
Martin tells Sam that if he makes up with Vid, he'll read them a fascinating book about the political process. Vid enters the room and starts fighting with Sam over who's smarter. I would say that the winner of this contest is the child who can actually pronounce the word "smart." Sadly, this contest won't have a winner, although Vid gets an honorable mention for coming the closest. Martin says he can make them both smart, and pulls out a well-read children's book about voting. I guess that's their punishment for fighting.
Annie and Lucy come home to find RevCam and Kevin in the kitchen. Kevin and Lucy quickly make up, then look over at the CamRents and decide to leave for the Treehouse of Lurv so they can have some awesome make-up cheek pecks. Once they're gone, RevCam and Annie, in unison, accuse each other of not voting in the last election. Then they stare awkwardly until the scene fades out.
In bed, Kevin and Lucy discuss RevCam and Annie, and what they're doing right now.
And now we're panning across the CamRent's bed as we hear Annie's satisfied giggle. Although I don't know what could have happened, since they're both FULLY CLOTHED and Annie's even wearing a blouse, buttoned all the way up to her chin, with ANOTHER SHIRT under it. "I don't think we've had a night like this since Carter defeated Ford," says RevCam. "Hello? What about the night the governor was elected?" says Annie. "How could I forget Terminator night?" says RevCam, and ew. Speaking of Terminators, RevCam wonders how the Kevbot and Lucy are doing, because it's not gross at all for parents to have a post-coital discussion about their children. RevCam wonders if maybe he and Annie have been talking "too much," and that's why the kids won't listen to them. Some parallels are drawn between them talking too much and the presidential candidates talking too much, but it's not done very well. But it's all redeemed when Annie falls asleep in RevCam's face. HA! And you'd that would be enough to make RevCam shut up, but he doesn't. He keeps talking about how much parents love hearing themselves talk, and how he needs to start talking less and doing more. Hey, RevCam? Insisting on continuing your conversation even after rendering the other party unconscious may be starting your "not going to talk as much" program off on the wrong foot.
The morning, RevCam's clearing away the breakfast stuff. SamVid come downstairs in their bathrobes and say that they voted, and they're not going to school. RevCam orders them to get dressed for school. They do. I'll bet they'll put on some twee matching outfits, which is just ridiculous at this point since those two are very obviously not identical twins, and one would have to put a lot of effort into getting them matching outfits, since they wear two different sizes.
Ruthie comes downstairs and asks her father when he's going nag her about her homework. RevCam says he won't. Ruthie is confused, and wonders if her dad is having another heart attack. That's an idea, writers.
Martin comes downstairs, and Ruthie volunteers her father to drive her to school. RevCam says that Martin will be bringing Ruthie to school this morning and they're going resolve their differences. He leaves. Martin and Ruthie admire RevCam's shiny new pair of balls, then make up. Martin says he's just really excited about the upcoming election and can't help getting in everyone's face about it. Martin says that he might want to be a politician someday because he loves politics. Ruthie says that she's going to get more involved, because in four years, she'll be allowed to vote herself. Martin says that Ruthie will probably be running for office in four years, which is a little off, since we all know that Ruthie's plan for World Domination dictates that she will gain power through hostile takeovers, not the democratic process. Ruthie says she might run for sophomore class president in the spring. Martin says he'd be happy to help her if she wants. Martin needs to get his own life.
Carlos and Matt just happen to meet up at the vote-registering place. That's not too far-fetched; I'm sure people run into acquaintances all the time in one of the biggest cities in the world. It turns out that both Carlos and Matt are registering to vote after getting calls from RevCam and getting yelled at by their wives to do it. Carlos says he's never voted because he finds the process "intimidating." He thinks it's an "awesome responsibility" to choose a president, so he's just going to vote for whoever his wife is voting for, since he owes her that much for having his baby. Hmmm…I like Carlos a lot more when he isn't talking. Matt asks Carlos out to lunch at the hospital so they can talk about this reversal of the Camden gender-role norms. Carlos's cell phone rings, and it's Invisible Mary. When Carlos tells her that he ran into Matt, Mary asks to speak with him. Matt assumes that Mary will tell him who he should vote for, so he hangs up in her face.
Kevin and Lucy are now registered. Lucy's celebrating by wearing a hot pink long-sleeve shirt with a weird V-neck black camisole thing over it that is decorated with little white flowers. Someone who wears an outfit that awful is obviously incapable of making any kind of informed decision, and should not be allowed to vote at all. Lucy wants Kevin to vote for the same person she is since she's having his baby, and that line of reasoning didn't make sense in the last scene and it still doesn't make sense now. Kevin says he's just going to vote for whoever's the cutest. That's probably Lucy's criteria for who she's going to vote for, too. Lucy is so stupid that she actually becomes alarmed and has to ask Kevin if he's kidding. He says he is, and he's not going to tell her who he's voting for. Then he gives her a peck on the forehead.
Annie is making the bed and watching the television. RevCam comes in, and Annie compliments his order-issuing abilities. RevCam notices that Annie is watching the television I never knew they had in the CamBoudoir and asks her if she's following the election because she's still undecided. Annie says she's pretty sure who she's voting for. At that point, a political ad comes on television for an anonymous candidate whose face we don't see and whose name isn't mentioned. What effective advertising! When the ad starts talking about bad the nameless candidate's opponent is, it starts going blah blah blah. Wow, an episode of set-up for a pretty crappy pay-off. Especially since the entire hour was littered with the mudslinging political ads this episode is supposed to be against.
Ruthie shows the paper she was working on last night -- which has now been graded and handed back -- to Martin. Some kids walk up and ask Martin if he wants to lecture them about the election. Martin says that this time, Ruthie will do the lecturing. Ruthie stands up and says that she just wrote a paper on how the world would be a better place if children had the right to vote. Kids wouldn't go hungry or be discriminated against. Right, because kids are usually so forgiving of someone who's different from them. Everyone from the earlier scene, and a few other extras, listen to Ruthie. The African-American guy is wearing a hot pink shirt. That's bold. Ruthie says that while kids don't have the right to vote, they can make sure that the people they know who are registered to vote actually do vote.
And now all the kids address the camera and say "vote for me." SamVid, Ruthie, and Martin follow suit. And Lucy, Kevin, Carlos, Matt, Annie, and RevCam order us to vote.
So vote, y'all! I don't want to make this a forum for my political leanings, but I'm going to be voting for That Guy and I think you should, too. He has some really good ideas for how to reform our healthcare system and balance the budget. I also agree with his stance on the war in Iraq. So please vote for That Guy and everyone else in his political party. And if you can't vote, be sure to lecture people who can about it every day.