“ Warning: adult language will be used. That means no fucking nudity this week, horn dogs. Go cry a river. ”
Warning: adult language will be used. That means no fucking nudity this week, horn dogs. Go cry a river.
Previously, Ricky suggests he and Diane's abrupt rush between the sheets may be a "one-time only." She agrees, "If you think we can do that." Theo's red blood cell count is "nearly normal" which means, for those of you that don't watch ER, he's cancer-free. Mary, braless, asks if she and Ricky are still on for their date, and he shiftily agrees; Ricky shows up in Di's apartment and they knock boots some more.
The drums pound and boom, the camera waves, and we're in gritty, gritty, New York City again, now, and forever. Ah, New York. I feel really bad I couldn't go up last weekend for Gustave's birthday, but I had tickets to a hockey game and didn't want to bail. That seems lamer in print than it even is, so forgive me, Gustave. Anyway, yellow cabs roll yellowly down the street, and WTF is that? A woman walking her dog wearing an "I (HEART) NY" shirt? I AM SO FUCKING SURE! NO self-respecting New Yorker would be caught DEAD, let alone WALKING THE DOG in one of those tourist-fashion-traps of a shirt! Jesus, Bochco! Anyway, we're in a playground, Katie's cooling her heels chatting with a woman, and the Sip rolls up, trench coated and ready to play family. Katie is surprised to see him, and then introduces him to the woman, Theo's teacher. She hugs Sip warmly, which totally skeeves him out, then says how happy everyone is for them that Theo's okay. Then she reminds him of the open house Thursday. Open house Thursday? Katie says she wrote it on the calendar. Oh yeah, says Sip, heh, I'm a real dad. Theo bounds up and steals my heart all over again and demands ice cream. Katie says not 'til after lunch, but Sip says yeah, sure, why not? Sip leads him off to the edge of the playground and Theo asks, "Why aren't you at work, D-yaddy?" And can I get an "aww!" from everyone at home? Thank you. A cop car wails past them and Theo guesses "someone's in trouble." Then he says he wants to be a cop. Sip does an internal spit-take then asks what happened to being a pilot. Theo says he wants to chase alligators too. Sip, ingraining stereotypes in his son like all good prejudiced dads do, asks, "Like that Australian nutcase?" Theo says yeah. Aww. Then a big giant cop tour bus or something -- riot squad bus? -- screams by them and Theo goes, "Whoa, someone's REALLY in trouble!" Sip flicks on his radio and hears the news: cop shot at Second and B. Katie zips up in time to hear Sip relay the info in his grand Midwestern accent: "Caahp shaaht on Second and B." He takes off, and Theo gnaws at his toasted coconut bar, waving sunnily and says, "Bye d-yaddy!"
Pounding drums. Moody keyboards. Smooth jazz. No, I mean the roar of a subway car.
Di drags in Andre 'Do Rag and a uniform gets all in his face, asking, "Is this the guy that killed Cheryl?" Whoa, she's dead. Millions of uniforms glare at 'Do Rag. Di hisses that it's not cool to tip off their suspect, and is Cheryl really dead? Whoa. Mary, braless, types and Ricky comes over to break up -- I mean talk -- with her. She's like, you take off, and you don't come back or call? Yeah, then he went and did it with Di! Mary, dude, dump his silver-spoon-having ass! She's like, "If you can't hold up your end anymore," and he's like, "Okay," like that lets him off the hook. He goes on to say that "certain things have happened" that made him realize he's not meant for Mary. Like, doing it with Diane. Mary gives him a weak handshake and asks him not to embarrass her. He says he wouldn't do that. I say he already has.
Andre 'Do Rag is cooling his heels. He wants his police brutality case on the record. Baldwin and Medavoy want him to talk about the two robberies -- a liquor store and, oh, some stationery store. He denies doing either. Then he says he'll drop the brutality case if the two robberies go away. Medavoy and Baldwin have a laugh at that and go see Fancy.
Fancy says to call the DA and make the deal. Then, in walks the captain, Cheryl's husband. He looks as grief-stricken as Mount Rushmore. Fancy says he's sorry for what happened, and the captain wonders where the shooter may be. Oh, boy. Sip and Ricky are talking to him. Fancy says they can look in on it. Let's go.
Fancy pulls up the curtain and they hear this 'Do Rag say that a "cute female cop" asked him to stay put, and he didn't, because she was "acting all bad-ass, and she wants to take [him] in? Let her earn it." But he wasn't the one that shot her. Fancy pulls the curtain down and apologizes to the captain again. The captain strolls out and says he wants two minutes alone with 'Do Rag, then bursts in and threatens him. Wham, just like that. Fancy restrains him, and 'Do Rag is like, you let that guy roam the halls? And Ricky says, "You want him to take your job away too?" The captain doesn't care about his job right now. Sip says he knows he doesn't want t blow the case and hands him his hat. The captain leaves, unsatisfied.
After like five minutes of commercials, in walks the new ADA, Valerie Haywood. Hey, she was on Baywatch! I bet this show is a real switch, from sandy to gritty, from lifeguard orange to police officer blue. From jiggle-core to Dennis Franz's ass. Oh, boy. Di introduces herself and then Medavoy and Baldwin, and says they need Valerie for the lineup. Medavoy and Baldwin explain their deal -- 'Do Rag doesn't say he was beaten by cops, they drop one robbery from his list that day -- and Valerie raises an eyebrow at the idea of this. She disapproves! High in moral fiber! And delicious too! Hey Valerie! Hee. Di takes her to see the lineup. In there is Sip, Fancy, Bloody Hands -- geez, it's like a clown car in there. Val is outraged when she sees all these people are there with the witness, and again when Sip scratches himself with two fingers to help Bloody Hands make the ID. Then, she CALLS Sip on it! "If our suspect doesn't give a voluntary admission of guilt, that ID never happened." Woooh!