Two large pieces of signage inform us of the setting of the scene: One says that "Country and Western Week" is "welcome" at Eddie's. Another neon jobbie says it is "Eddie's Pool Hall." Once again, I don't watch the show regularly, so all the extra spelling out of the intricate nuances that make up 7th Heaven is, at times, useful, but I didn't need two signs. No one does. Shut up, signs. I am not retarded. I can't say the same for everyone watching the show, but I'm not.
Inside Eddie's, a country and western band plays wanly. They say they're "going honky-tonking," but I know better. They're not happy to be there. Unattractive people dance the two-step, some dully, some with a little flair, and I use the word flair in homage to the movie Office Space. There's a woman with a really fat ass performing the two-step backwards. Not pretty. There's a guy so fat it looks like he's carrying triplets. Either these extras are the producer and writer of the show, walking in a la Hitchcock, or they are just random fugly people. Kudos to 7th Heaven for daring to put such "real" people on television! There aren't even people this unattractive on reality shows. Have you seen The Real World this season? The girls are all emaciated hooker-y types who bare their torsos more than necessary, and the guys are all beefy gym rats with their own tubs of gel and shimmery body lotion. I hate them, too. Proof that, ugly or "attractive," you can't win. Lucy wanders into Eddie's, sees Roxanne and Kevin dancing together comfortably and laughing together, and gets bent out of shape. She walks out in a huff. Lucy is so not cute, and jealousy really makes her even less pretty. In fact, Lucy is remarkably similar to one of those wizened apples they wrap a piece of lace around and pass off as a doll. Lucy is a wrinkled apple witch.
She runs out of the pool hall and Chandler...Hampton stops her with a "hey! The fun's in there!" No, it isn't. Lucy, clearly insane, asks if RevLite has ever loved somebody so much that he just totally lost his shit about it. He's all, yeah. And she dumped his ass, too. Loser. He makes a face like he's laughing about it, but it's all creepy and overly anxious. Lucy, in tears, says rapidly that if Kevin wants to break up with her then he can just break up with her. She turns to leave, and RevLite says, "Wait! Talk!" She does the first. I guess the latter is to come. Great.
Credits. Seeeaa-venth heaven! When I see their happy faces, smilin' back at me...Seeeaa-venth heaven! Where can you goooooo! When the world don't treat you right? The answer is hoooome! Mmmm! Seeeaa-venth heaven! Woof!
A couple decked out in Western gear walks by the first two signs that announce the country-western week at Eddie's pool hall, then through an entrance over which hangs a sign reading "Eddie's." Everyone with me? Stop me if I'm going too fast.
Inside, Simon and Cecilia dance. The band informs us that a "good-ole boy is going bad tonight." Foreshadowing? One can only hope. Simon is a terrible dancer, Cecilia not so great herself. She has matched her pink socks to her pink sweater. Simon apologizes for stepping on her feet. Her black cowboy boots are "steel-toed," so it makes little difference, she says. They sit down and sip some drinks. Kevin comes up and asks rather harshly where the hell Lucy is, since she was supposed to be there an hour ago. Simon and Cecilia are clueless. Roxanne comes up and says there were "no major accidents in the area," so Lucy is probably at the mall or the library. Or making out with the new associate pastor. Kevin, still on a psychotic rampage, asks why the Camdens don't get cell phones. Hey, did Jesus have a cell phone? Did he need a teeny phone to get the Word out? Well, did he? Kevin says he'll give Lucy fifteen minutes more, then he's going out to look -- and so is Roxanne. Roxanne says she has a date with "Smitty." Oh please, let's meet Smitty. He sounds like a line drawing, or a Little Rascal. Hey, how about Stymie? He always liked Roxanne. Someone call Buckwheat and we'll double. Kevin has a problem with Roxanne dating Smitty, who is someone they work with, and therefore it's bad for her "career." Ooh, Smitty's a cop? How cool. Please let him also be drunken and Irish. Roxanne says Lucy won't like the idea that she also likes cops. Kevin bullies her into looking for Lucy, and further badgers a reluctant-looking Simon and Cecilia into joining them. No one looks happy about this.
CamPound. Eric lolls on the couch. Annie comes over and brightly informs him of all that's been happening; Kevin called looking for Lucy, who was supposed to meet him at the pool hall where there's a country and western band playing all week! Eric is unfazed and uninterested, saying it must be "difficult to shoot pool." Annie says it sounds like fun, and that they should go out and dance themselves. Eric says nah, he just wants to be home with his family and think and never go out again. Annie insists that fun has to be had sometime -- how about going outside to sit on the porch and think under the stars? Eric loves that idea, and gets up and practically runs outside. Annie, left in his righteous wake, says she meant they could sit under the stars together.
Upstairs, Ruthie is met by SamVid, who tell her there's a boy throwing rocks at their window. Jake? No, "a new one," a "stranger." And "stranger, danger!" Jesus, beezus. Ruthie goes blindly to the window and sees a little boy with a mouthful of teeth and spiky blond hair. He's all, hey, are you still on "restriction"? Did I get the right window? Eric wanders up behind him, and Ruthie points at her father in a gesture of ultimate laziness, like, oh, ask him how much longer I'm on "restriction." Eric says "hmm," and the boy tells Ruthie he isn't sure. Eric asks the boy who he is. He's Peter, he lives down the street, he's in school with Ruthie, and he's also in "love" with her. What a fucked-up little boy. Eric tells Peter that Ruthie already has a boyfriend, and Peter says she can't see him because of the "restriction." He wants to make his move now. What a cunning, conniving, lovelorn little twelve-year-old. So very unreal.
Peter is all, "C'mon, Mr. Camden." Eric rolls this around for a while. "Mr. Camden. Misss-ter Camden, Mister Eric Camden." Peter steals my line and says he sure isn't Mrs. Camden. Please let that be the crisis of the week? Reverend Camden becomes la reverendina? Annie walks into the twins' room and asks what everyone is looking at. The new boy, who wants to come in and hang out. Annie says she's just the mother that has to say no sometimes, and that Ruthie is still on "restriction" for another week. Oh, and she's off to the pool hall now for some solo fun. Woo! Ruthie makes a snippy face at her mother. Oh, and twins? Get back into bed. They lie down and say goodnight, I love you. Wow, the twins don't even say "we" even though they speak in unison? Weird. As soon as Annie walks out, they're out of bed and back at the window.
Annie heads downstairs and meets Eric in the kitchen. Eric says that the new neighbor boy tuned him into a "new insight." Annie is all, did you notice I freshened my make-up and changed my clothes? Eric asks if that was a "trick question," and then says in a Monty Python-esque voice, "That's not my new hat, I'm wearing a gas mask!" Annie makes a "wha?" face, and Eric says never mind. Annie says she's going out to the pool hall, and would Eric like to tell her his new insight? Nah -- he'd rather mull it over in private. What a fucked-up family.
Phone! Ruthie answers it. Kevin asks a million questions about Lucy, including what she was wearing. Ruthie can't remember -- something "cowboy, or cowgirl, or cow-woman...jeans." "Cow-woman"? What, like an udder, or a huge bell? Ruthie gets that Lucy must be AWOL, but seems more into busting Kevin's covert ops than actually giving a shit that her sister is "missing." Kevin is all "gotta go," and hangs up. He actually says, "Let's roll." Simon and Cecilia silently groan, then slide off their seats with the enthusiasm usually reserved for trips to the dentist.
Lucy and Chandler...Hampton roll into the church. Lucy seems thrilled to be there. She says she's never "eaten" in the sanctuary before. Yes, isn't that a tad disrespectful? Chandler says slowly and creepily that she might feel uncomfortable talking in her father's office. And of course, there's no other place for them to have a picnic. So, church it is. It is Chandler's "favorite place in Glenoak." He feels "at peace" here. Wow, so does Lucy's dad! They have so much in common. Now kiss. Kiss in the sanctuary. Kiss like the Lord approves.
On the porch, Eric looks searchingly into the night sky, his face a blank mask, and says dully that "[he] quit[s]." Woo hoo!
Three signs announce that we're back at Eddie's Pool Hall, where it's country-western week. Welcome to it! Again. Annie bellies up to the bar and anxiously asks if the bartender (there's no sign or anything telling me if it's Eddie or not -- wish I could help!) has seen any members of her large and every-expanding brood. The bartender, wearing a bolero tie with his polo shirt (fashion NIGHTMARE, even for this show), says he saw Kevin dancing with a good-looking blonde. Annie says to no one in particular that she's waiting for her family. The fellow sitting to Annie says so is he, and would she like to dance while she's waiting? Oh no, she couldn't. He asks if she'd like a lesson in two-stepping. She looks to the guy on the other side of her, who's staring creepily, stirring his drink like it's a full cauldron bubbling with roofies. She opts to dance, leaving her frou-frou-looking ersatz piña colada to sit alone.
Sanctuary. After a round of "you first," "no, you first," Lucy starts in on Why She Wants To Be A Preacher. Ew. She lists her reasons: She wants to be like her father; she wants to be respected like her dad is in the community; she wants to serve God, and to serve mankind; this is her purpose in life, and being a minister's daughter guided her to this purpose. Chandler plays the devil's advocate and says many people believe that women shouldn't be ministers, and what makes her think she'd be any good. Lucy says the Bible, history, and religion interest her "because the truth survives both." While she's speechifying, she walks over and stands behind the pulpit, taking her father's place, as it were. Chandler, for some reason, is charmed by her drive and ambition, and calls Lucy a "very smart woman" with a good "sense of humor." I've been recapping this show for three weeks and have seen no evidence of this. Perhaps becoming brainwashed to the Camdens' clear lack of allure is easy when you're right up in the thick of them, like being in a cult?
No matter, because now it's Chandler turn to run down the reasons why he became A Man Of The Cloth. He walks in the same stupid circle Lucy did and stands behind the pulpit to recite his reasons: to make his "parents really, really angry." They aren't religious. They aren't even "nice." They're "hateful and negative and critical." Unlike, say, the Christian Right, or the Moral Majority, or Jerry Falwell, who also is a liar and a freak. Maybe Chandler's parents would like to come and hang out on the 7th Heaven boards, where everyone is super-critical but generally very witty and astute, and nobody's fool on top of it all. Chandler makes another weird and creepy face (maybe it's a tic?) and says he forgot he was supposed to be talking about himself. Rule number one on the WB: It's always all about YOU. He says he started studying religion in college "just to annoy them," then transferred to a seminary without telling them. What a square way to annoy your parents. What about the classics, like smoking, drinking, and dying your hair crazy colors? What, is that too mainstream now? Too Osbournes for you? Is Christianity the thing that really annoys people these days? Well, I guess it's annoying me. He says they wanted him to finish a degree in business, but he doesn't like numbers in neat columns on a page; "life is messier than that." He likes that there are no clear answers. The "unseen" is "powerful" and "awesome," in the classic, old-school sense of awesome. Lucy looks at him raptly, clearly enamored. Oh, just go do it already. He says he also loves words, though he isn't a great public speaker. Lucy squinches up her face and says, "What about church services?" He says he's okay "as long as [he] doesn't get more than one heckler." Shout-out?
Kevin and Roxanne sit in Kevin's honking SUV. Wow, a rookie cop can afford a Saudi Utility Vehicle? At least he's carpooling. Well, he's not even driving it, really. What a good American. Though his vehicle could use a few more flags, or maybe a Calvin pissing on Osama. I kid. No one's car could use a pissing Calvin. Roxanne isn't into the idea of wasting her evening looking for Lucy. Then open the door and get out of the car, woman. Roxanne looks like an amalgam of all the Brady sisters; a little Marcia, a dash of Jan, and a sprinkle of Cindy. It's creepy. Kevin is also creepy in his intensity to find Lucy. Roxanne posits that Lucy saw them dancing and left in a huff. Kevin says no, Lucy would have come up to them and "said something" -- if she were "jealous," she'd have been "right in [their] faces," since "that's how she is." This is so sick. Roxanne lists the reasons she doesn't like Lucy: she's "silly" and "immature." Kevin says he "cares" that Roxanne doesn't like Lucy, so from now on, she "should not share her feelings" on the subject. Roxanne says okay, then tilts her head back and asks for a kiss. Whaaa? Kevin is outraged. He's practically engaged or something! He says vehemently that he "does not want to kiss" Roxanne. She says, "Well!" She sounds like she doubts Kevin's claim. He says that "didn't sound right." He "doesn't want to kiss any woman!" Then it's men he wants to kiss? That sounds about right. ["Isn't that Robbie's department? And where is Robbie this episode, anyway?" -- Sars] Roxanne says one kiss wouldn't hurt. Kevin, clearly a nominee for the worst actor award, says leadenly that "one kiss can change everything. Every. Thing."
Then, at neck-break speed, he changes the subject and asks Roxanne why she became a cop. She says defensively that she'd wanted to be a cop since she was little, and the kiss wasn't such an odd request since they're "off-duty." She tells a horrible, sad story which should have been told on their first day on the job. Like they didn't have time to cover this ground while they were strolling on the promenade, or shopping for jewelry? Anyway, Roxanne's story goes like this: Her mom witnessed a crime, a brutal beating. Her dad convinced her mom to testify; she did, and was shot dead when she walked out of the station. She died three days later, and they never found out who killed her. Kevin says he's sorry. Roxanne asks if NOW she can get a kiss. Jeez, Roxanne! Hey, she's "just trying to lighten the mood!" Making a joke is one thing; schtupping on someone's grave is another. Roxanne says kissing Kevin won't make her miss her dead mother any less. Oh, gross! This is horrible. Finally, Roxanne leans in and says she will "never try and kiss [Kevin] ever. Again." Bullshit. So now it's Kevin's turn to say why he became a cop. Fire killed his dad, but Kevin doesn't want to "fight the same enemy" over and over again. Roxanne says that's what cops do, fight the same fight over and over again. Kevin says they're all different, and the thing he "likes" about being a cop is that "you never know who the enemy is." That's a really bad way of putting it; and considering the way our civil liberties are being rolled back with wiretapping and such, that's the way our federal government looks at it too. I would think that in some situations, it's very clear who the bad guys are. But then again, Kevin is an idiot. He goes back to worrying about Lucy. Roxanne says she thinks that Lucy is fine -- she almost got into "profiling." Kevin says that until she does, she's just "an amateur psychic." Roxanne predicts that Kevin will one day kiss her. Roxanne? Shut up.
Simon and Cecilia finish their reconnaissance of the Promenade, with no Lucy found. Simon apologizes for wasting the evening looking for Lucy -- maybe he can make it up to her tomorrow night? Cecilia can't, she has to work. Simon cocks a huge eyebrow at her. She has to what? She has a what? J-O-B? What's that? Her dad owns a janitor service hired by the county to clean the school's toilets. Does that gross Simon out? Because "scrubbing toilets is honest work." Sure -- but since her dad owns the company, she's still working for Daddy. At least she's starting on the ground floor instead of answering phones or something equally sanitized. Doesn't Simon have a job? Hell no. The "escort service didn't work out." Wait -- Simon was a male escort? Now that's a recap I have to read! Since then, Simon has taken early retirement, and subsists on the allowance his parents give him. Cecilia says incredulously, "You get paid to help out around the house?" Simon, painted right into a corner, says he's going to get a job. Cecilia says she "hope[s] so." Whht-tssh!
Eric, still on the porch, noodles on his guitar. Happy the dog watches. Peter, the lost neighbor kid, wanders up and says he's locked out of his house (he left "via" the window) and his mom isn't answering the door. Eric says he can go use the phone in the kitchen.
Peter heads inside to use the phone. Kevin and he have a dull little tête-à-tête. They learn each other's identities and objectives for being there. Kevin points out the phone, and Peter goes for it.
Kevin heads upstairs and tells Ruthie that Peter is downstairs, and that he "doesn't seem okay" since it's 9 PM and he's out of the house.
Back in the kitchen, Peter steals two apples and some candy and leaves a pitiful voicemail message for his mom. He's locked out; he needs to get back in and do his homework and go to bed. He has school the day. Please, Mom? Please pick up! Kevin and Ruthie eavesdrop shamelessly. Kevin busts in and offers to walk Peter home with his "partner"-- he's a cop. Peter says it might scare his mom to see him with a stranger, even a cop. Kevin says, "How about a sandwich." Oh, a sandwich would scare the shit out of Peter's mom, for sure. Peter takes up Kevin on the offer, and steals another apple.
Ruthie sneaks onto the porch and tells her dad, still noodling on the guitar, that it sounds like Peter is "in trouble." Eric says it sounds like his mom fell asleep and locked him out. Ruthie asks if that sounds right to him. Eric asks if that sounds right to Ruthie. Ruthie asks that Eric "get in there" and help. Eric says that he's "out of the business," that he "quit" and he's "tired of helping people." But-but-but? But what about Peter? Eric says placidly that maybe Kevin can figure something out. Ruthie looks blank.
We're back at Eddie's Pool Hall. Annie makes her way back to her barstool a little unsteadily, and sips her giant white foofy drink. The bartender, still in his polo-ero getup, asks if she's having a good time. Oh yes -- but she'd really rather be with her husband. You mean the sad sack that was ignoring you when you left him at home? Yeah, that guy is great. Annie says something is wrong and she doesn't know what to do. The bartender asks if Eric didn't just have open-heart surgery. Yes, about a month ago. And now Annie is worried that "they took a piece out!" Oh, no. No, she didn't.
CamPound. Annie comes up the walk and sees her husband cooling his heels and playing the guitar like nothing else matters. Well, to him, maybe nothing else does matter. After all, he's been having a crisis, which resulted in an epiphany when that stupid little lost kid called him "Mister Camden." He quit his job -- which, I'm guessing, he wasn't very good at. And while he taught his kids about the Lord and other God stuff, he didn't really instill in them a sense of responsibility or kindness. The whole family is messed up. Why not quit everything he's been doing? Sounds right to me. Annie, of course, can't see it my way. Annie sits down and says Eric has had "a few rough weeks," but soon he'll "be back to his old self." Eric says he doesn't want to. He's "out of the business. [He's] finished with God and church and helping people." Annie wants to know if he's finished because of his heart problems, or because of Chandler coming. Help is "a good thing!" Eric says, "The God business is just not working so well for [him] anymore." Okay, who is speaking through Eric? Aaron Spelling? The speeches throughout this whole episode have sounded like writers trying to speak through the characters, instead of the characters speaking for themselves. Like, if Barry or Barbara or Aaron are frustrated and feel the need to explain their original intentions, GET OUT OF THE BUSINESS already. Quit yourselves. Quit 7th Heaven. Annie, never one to read the signs, says she can tell Eric what "isn't working anymore." Chandler, his heart, all of them "are gifts. Gifts from God. [Eric is] taking lemonade and turning it into lemons." Wow, Annie is taking my stomach and turning it into knots. Or my dinner is turning into barf. Either one. She continues, "Get out there and start working again, start living again! Ask not what God can do for you, Eric Camden, ask what YOU can do for God!" JFK is spinning in his grave. Ich bin ein disgusted. She storms inside, leaving he dog to whine in her wake. Eric looks skyward and says he knew she'd be upset.
Kevin and Roxanne knock on Peter's front door. His mom won't hear the phone, but she'll hear a knock? ["And didn't they establish a few scenes ago that Peter tried that already and she didn't answer? Sigh." -- Sars] Whatever. He hollers though the mail slot, and an Ally-esque woman in a suit opens the door and says that Kevin and Roxanne had better not have hurt her son. And how did he get locked out, anyway? He snuck out to the garage and she must have locked the door. Then he snuck over to see Ruthie, who is "cute" and "can't see her boyfriend right now." Roxanne way oversteps her bounds and tells Ersatz Ally that she shouldn't let her "problems with drugs and alcohol ruin his life. Get some help." Ersatz Ally is all, what? My problems with what? She was just TIRED. She goes into speech mode and breaks it down: she's just a single mom who gets up, runs three miles, makes breakfast and lunch, then drives her kid to school, then works, takes a yoga class during lunch to "reduce the stress," then comes home to cook and clean and work some more. "That is how we got this house, so you can take your drug and alcohol theories and SHOVE 'em, pal!" Roxanne and Kevin look shameful and abashed. Peter says, "That's why you're trying to be Supermom? Because super-lazy no-good Dad left us?" Ersatz Ally says, "You knew he was lazy?" Peter says, "And no good!" Then, to Roxanne and Kevin, "Parents think we don't know this." Peter says he doesn't need a house and that he can make his own sandwiches, "so [she] can lay off the casseroles, okay?" The only thing he needs, apparently, is his mom, so she's supposed to "try and not kill [her]self working, 'kay?" She says okay, happy and surprised to learn that she doesn't have to work to keep her son happy -- only alive and with a roof over his head! Why, no woman ever wants to work -- we only do it to support our offspring. Damn biology! Damn our reproductive organs! And bless the child who tells us, at age twelve, that he "doesn't need a house" or casseroles, and that he will, at long last, make his own damn sandwiches. Because that is the most difficult thing about raising a son; they constantly need sandwiches. It's a real fucking grind. Kevin and Roxanne say goodnight, and Ersatz Ally asks if "that guy" is single. Woo hoo, an acknowledgment of sexual needs in a non-demonstrative way! Peter says he'll find out for her. Ah, the little pimp. How cute.
Simon and Cecilia walk the pool hall aimlessly. The bartender tells Simon that his mom was looking for him. Simon is all, my mom left the house to have fun? That doesn't sound like her! Kevin and Roxanne come up; still no luck finding Lucy. Roxanne suggests that maybe she's at the church, talking with Chandler. Kevin becomes extremely creepy and scary in his intensity to shoot down that idea. Like, why would Lucy ever want to talk to Chandler when she can just go home and talk to her dad, who's also a minister? Kevin says, "She better not be talking to that new minister instead of talking with [him]!" Ooh! No he di'in't!
Sanctu-aaa-ryy! Lucy and Chandler giggle and talk, drinking bottled water. Kevin stalks down the aisle and says he's "glad someone is having a good time." Lucy, looking properly shame-faced, stands up and says she's sorry, she should have called. Kevin says that would have saved him from looking for her all night when she was "out on a date with another man." Chandler stammers and squinches up his face as he insists that "this was not a date." It so WAS a date. Kevin says it looks like they were having a picnic -- what else were they doing? Lucy says they weren't "dancing and holding each other close and laughing!" Oh, so she saw Kevin and Roxanne dancing together? Damn skippy. So, she thought she'd get back at Kevin by going out with Chandler? She isn't "out with Chandler!" Dude, if Chandler is out, this show could be cool. But what am I saying; everyone on this show is so far in the closet, they're like that smell you can never get rid of. Cat pee. Baby barf. Dead mouse. All synonymous with 7th Heaven. Chandler says he saw Lucy leaving the pool hall upset, and he asked if she'd like to talk. Kevin says he doesn't care, but for the fact that Lucy was "angry and jealous" and that Chandler "saw an opportunity," and they both think it's "okay since they're in a church." Snap! Kevin can read. He storms off, and is stopped at the door by Roxanne. She asks if everything is all right, and he plants one on her. Of course, Lucy follows Kevin and sees the kiss. Kevin storms all the way off, leaving Roxanne and Lucy to look at each other.
Eddie's Pool Hall. After more bad dancing, Cecilia introduces Simon to her dad, who tells him he can start scrubbing toilets tomorrow. Cecilia runs back and kisses Simon. Simon has a job! A nasty, filthy job. For, I hope, minimum wage. Woo hoo.
CamPound. Eric plays guitar some more. Happy, the dog with perfectly coifed hair, whimpers. Poor dog. Ruthie sticks her head out the door and says that Peter's mom doesn't have a drug and alcohol problem, she's "just single and overworked." Oh, says Eric. Doesn't he want to hear all the details? Not really. Okay. Night.
Annie walks through the kitchen and asks Ruthie where she's "been." Just out talking to her dad, who is "going to be fine, in time." Annie says he's "had enough time." She goes out and tells him that even though he's done with the Lord's work, he still has to get some sleep. "We're going to bed." Eric give her the thumbs-up.
Lucy walks up, and her dad tells her, "Whatever it is [he] can't help anyone. [He doesn't] want to help anyone." He quits! Again. Some more. Lucy is shocked.
Roxanne walks up. Catfight! She says the kiss was "[her] fault, all [her] fault." So, blame her. Lucy, in a shocking new development, says she takes "full responsibility." But your lips had nothing to do with it? But she knew Kevin would be looking for her, and she wanted him to find her with Chandler. Her face gets a little more apple-doll-esque as she says she "snapped" when she saw Kevin and Roxanne dancing together. "He's a great guy, Loose, and you doubt that!" Roxanne begged Kevin to kiss her and he wouldn't go for it, because he's so in love with Lucy. And he won't apologize to Lucy "even though he feels like an idiot," so would Lucy go down to the pool hall to make the first move? "Don't you minister types preach forgiveness? Aren't you a Christian? Don't you believe in forgiving?" Oh, barf.
Pool hall. Could be Eddie's, could be somewhere else. Kevin fiddles with a bowl of peanuts. Lucy comes up and asks for this dance. Kevin says, for the rest of my life! He asks her what really bothers her -- that he was dancing with Roxanne, or that he was married before? Oh, right, that. But he was only eighteen! Only eighteeen during the weeding, marriage, and divorce! So it shouldn't even count! Lucy says she "wanted to be the only woman he dances with for the rest of [his] life." Hey, is dancing a euphemism for fucking? Cool. She says that he's forgiven. He says, "By the way, you're not." By the way, this show sucks.