This penultimate episode of the season starts off with a phone call between The Amazing Robbie and America’s Sweetheart, the not-at-all trashy, dimwitted or vile Mary Camden. She has some exciting news for ol' Robbie. Originally she'd wanted to make it a surprise, but she points out that the rest of the Camdens already know. Well, obviously -- if it's even remotely gossip-worthy, of course they'd make it their business to find out. The big news is that Mary will be returning to Glenoak for the summer. Robbie’s a little less than whelmed by that info. In fact, he’s looking downright panicked. He asks, "What about Wilson?" Golly, that is so virtuous of him to care about the competition. Dumb she may be, but even Mary picks up on Robbie’s lack of enthusiasm. It's a good thing she can't see my reaction.
Over at the Sinnin' Premarital Cohabitators' Pad, John is ragging on Priscilla for not inviting her parents to their wedding. I'd totally forgotten about this dull storyline. Let's forget about it a bit longer, shall we?
Matt is studying at Cheryl's apartment when she interrupts him to hand over his invitation to the aforementioned wedding. She claims it fell out of his backpack, but the Cheryl we used to know would have rifled through his belongings to find it. I'm not sure if Suddenly Saintly Cheryl would do that or not. She points out that the invitation is addressed to "Matt Camden and guest." How lame is it that Matt's alleged best friend can't even be bothered to find out the name of who Dopey is dating and address a separate invitation to her? I'm sure John and Priscilla have those awful reply cards included with the invite that ask you to write down the number of people who will be attending. They totally deserve to have Matt tally up how many friends he wants to bring and write down some number like "12" on the card. Of course, the idea of Matt having even one friend other than John is pretty ludicrous, so the point is moot. Cheryl uses this occasion to pester Dopey some more about telling the Camdens that he's dating her. She says she doesn't want to be his "dirty little secret." I hate to tell her, but I'll bet Matt's got way dirtier secrets than his lame-ass barely-a-relationship with Cheryl. Someone as creepy as Dopey is bound to have at least one or two scary fetishes he practices in strict secrecy. He ends this scene by making Cheryl feel bad about interrupting his studying.
In the foyer of the CamPound, Lucy and some guy are making out. She asks him, "Did you hear yet?" He tells her to stop worrying. Simon walks by but does not linger to spy on them. Actually, I'm not sure why he's even in the scene.
Oh, I understand now -- he was on his way to the kitchen to ask when Jeremy got into town, thus letting us lazier viewers know that Lucy wasn't making out with some random guy but with the guest star she fell deeply and irrevocably in love with over the course of one episode a few months ago. Simon further informs us that he is going over to Deena's. What would be really, really nice would be if he decided to stay there forever, and if the producers decided never to show us any footage of what transpires there, ever. That's not too much to ask, is it? Sadly, it probably is. RevCam wants to know if Simon is dating Deena again. Now it's Ruthie's turn to provide the exposition, so she states that Deena has moved back to Glenoak. I hadn't noticed, but that's probably because I honestly could not care less about Deena. I know that's hard to believe, but really, I couldn't. Ruthie adds that Deena and Simon have made some "stupid pact to be friends." There is a gratuitous shot of Happy. Annie has been poring over some blueprints. Is one of her alleged college degrees in architecture? Because I'm not sure the average person would get that much out of a set of blueprints -- which pretty much makes it a sure bet that Annie hasn't got a clue. Nevertheless, she shares the excitement she feels about getting a building permit to build a room for Mary over the CamGarage. RevCam expresses the obligatory doubts about Mary coming home for the summer. He also invokes Wilson's name. What I want to know is why anyone on the show would give a flying fuck about Wilson's feelings. God knows none of the viewers do. Robbie, who's been eavesdropping, looks worried and leaves. Annie raves about James, the parishioner who will be helping her build Mary's room over the garage. RevCam points out that James is always helping Annie. She asks if Eric is jealous. He says he's not. Ruthie overhears this exchange, paving the way for one of this evening's more unfortunate subplots. Annie asks Eric how his group counseling session went. He tells her that is group meeting is on Wednesday and that tonight he "had Serena." That's what passes for humour on this show, by the way. This all leads to RevCam notifying Annie that he is now counseling Serena one-on-one. Annie is pissed, but over-actingly insists she's not jealous. If I were married to RevCam, I'd be peeved that he hadn't told me about this news, but I don't think I'd get all passive-aggressive about it. But then, I suppose the writers realize that there's nothing funny about honest adult communication. Of course, there's nothing funny about the way they write Annie's jealousy either, but that's another story.
Enjoy the commercial break, because what follows sure ain't pretty. Mary is walking through an airport -- Buffalo's, I assume -- and slack-jawed yokel Wilson is looking for her. Good God, he's turning more and more into Melrose Place's Billy Campbell every time I see him. He and Mary should get together, since it would take two extremely dense, undesirable people out of circulation. On the other hand, they might decide to procreate, and I don't think the gene pool would ever recover from a hit like that. Wilson's trying to convince Mary to stay. There's some crap about getting a second chance at love and Mary telling him, "It's over." It's hard to pay attention when Mary's acting is so very, very wooden and Wilson looks like he's struggling valiantly just to remember his lines. Mary walks off as Wilson attempts to look pained. He does this thing where he starts to raise his hand like he's reaching out to Mary, but she's long gone, and even though his knuckles scrape the ground, I'll bet his arms still aren't long enough to catch her.
Annie's still walking around the CamPound with her trusty blueprints. Lucy flits through the kitchen to inform her mother that she's meeting Jeremy at the pool hall. Ruthie launches into some speech about the origin of the word "obsession," which she applies to how Lucy feels about Jeremy. When Annie tells her there's nothing wrong with Lucy wanting to spend time with Jeremy, Ruthie tries to lecture her on denial. While denial certainly has a prominent place in many a 7th Heaven story arc, I'm not sure what it's doing in this scene. RevCam walks through the kitchen on his way to a budget meeting. He comments on how excited he is to see Mary. See, that's a much better use of denial. After making a little "Go, team!" gesture with his fist, RevCam leaves. Annie starts to call James for help with her building project, since she's finally realized she's in over her head. Ruthie rudely hangs up the phone and offers her help instead. I'm sure that, like most elementary-school students, she is eminently qualified to be a construction consultant. Oh wait -- I keep forgetting that Glenoak has entirely different laws of physics and logic. That's the only theory that could explain Annie's acceptance of Ruthie's offer. Why doesn't she just ask Wilson too, while she's at it? That would effectively remove any lingering chance that this building project will turn out well.
At the hospital, John tracks down Dopey and demands to know if he will be bringing Cheryl to the wedding. This, of course, leads to him harassing Dopey over not breaking the Cheryl news to his family. John plays armchair psychologist for a bit until he comes up with the theory that Dopey is afraid the Camdens won't approve of Cheryl. He and John leave. We see that, in classic sitcom style, Cheryl has been lurking around the corner, listening to the guys' conversation. Personally, I think the rest of the CamFam would approve of her eavesdropping technique, but she probably doesn't know that. She is sad, and I don't blame her, since that was a pretty cold-blooded remark she overheard. On the other hand, no one with even a semblance of sense would date Dopey, so that's really the reason she gets my sympathy.
Deena opens her front door to Simon. She's actually looking good, for a change. Her hair is styled and highlighted, her make-up is no longer applied with a trowel, and it looks like she's stopped buying her clothes at The Clown Shoppe. Despite all that, her boyfriend has dumped her. Simon seems to think this is his chance to shine, so he invites her out -- allegedly as a friend -- to cheer her up. Inexplicably, she accepts his offer. He's stoked.
Robbie is visiting RevCam at his church office to suckily tell him that he won't be dating Mary while living under the same roof with her. He claims that this is something Annie suggested. RevCam is surprised, as am I, unless that occurred during a scene in which I nodded off for a few moments. Robbie makes it clear that he wants to go on living at the CamPound. I can only assume it's because he couldn't live without the rush he gets from being in the same room as RevCam. These two still have way more sexual chemistry than Robbie and Mary ever did. There's some witless repartee about Robbie keeping his hands off Mary. Adam LaVorgna does the best he can with that puerile dialogue, but it's no use. RevCam asks if Robbie's all right, since he's acting "funny." That's strange -- I would have said he was acting "badly," but that's just me. Robbie leaves to pick up Mary from the airport. I can't believe no one thought to bring up oafish Wilson and his feelings during this scene. How insensitive!
Serena walks in to tell RevCam she's experiencing a "spiritual emergency." I guess the word "horny" might be a bit of a red flag for the censors.
Down at the pool hall, Lucy asks Jeremy, "Have you heard?" He has some envelope his parents sent him from New York, but he's been waiting for Lucy to arrive before he opens it. When she sees what's inside, she looks like she's about to cry. I don't know about you, but the suspense sure is killing me!
Down at the hardware store, Annie is doing some shopping with Ruthie and the twins. Annie is consulting a piece of paper, but for all we know, it might be her ever-present blueprints folded up. For reasons unclear to me, Ruthie's old friend Sarah makes a guest appearance. It's all pretty confusing, because this actress was playing Sarah on an episode last season. Then a different actress played her once this season, and now the original actress is back for a thirty-second cameo that doesn't even have a storyline attached to it. Maybe there was a storyline originally, but it got lopped off during some careless editing. Who knows? But more to the point, who cares? Sarah has grown taller, and she does catalogue modeling now. Maybe the purpose of this scene is to show that once she ditched Ruthie as a friend, things started going much better for her.
What a coincidence -- James is at the hardware store too. I'll bet he's been stalking Annie. It's all in a day's work in Glenoak. James offers his help with Annie's construction project, but Ruthie turns him down. Annie gives Ruthie a warning look. James tells Ruthie to call him James, but she says she prefers calling him Mr. Carver. He laughs and shakes his head in a way that's supposed to imply that he thinks Ruthie's actions are cute.
Priscilla shows up at the hospital to talk to John. She's in a tizzy because her parents have arrived in Glenoak to attend the wedding. John tells her that his favourite grandmother is sick and that his father has flown back East to be with her. If the illness turns out to be serious, both his father and grandmother will miss the wedding. John prefers to regard the situation in a positive light, though, and he advises Priscilla to do the same in regard to her parents. It's a pretty nice scene, actually, though it falls short of making me care about what happens to any of these people.
Simon is asking Deena about her ex-boyfriend. She claims the ex is smart, which gives Studly Simon the chance to unveil his big pick-up line: "But if he's so smart, then why did he break up with you?" He goes on to say that he never would have broken up with her, and that if it weren't for the fact that she left town, he and Deena would still be together. I guess it doesn't matter what she thinks of the situation, because in Glenoak, it's the man's place to decide whether a relationship lives or dies. Inexplicably, Deena is extremely gratified to know that Simon still loves her.
Cheryl shows up at the hospital wearing one of the fugliest dresses in creation. It's a speckled grey wraparound number with icky black piping. She tells Dopey that she had come down to the hospital to tell him she didn't care whether he told his parents about her, because she knew he cared about her. I guess eavesdropping on Dopey and John's conversation about her made her change her mind, though, so now she's ditching him. She says he's not the man she thought he was. I guess that's because she used to think he was worth dating. I'm glad she's finally come to her senses.
Since the show can only afford two restaurant sets, and Deena and Simon are already using the pizza parlour one, John and Priscilla have to meet her parents at the pool hall. Gene and Sylvia are friendly and supportive, despite a childish outburst from Priscilla. She shuts up again when her father apologizes for not being supportive before and says that he and his wife are in Glenoak to help with the wedding. He even goes so far as to say that John may be "the best thing that's ever happened to [Priscilla]." Man, if that's true, then she must have had a sad, sad life.
At the Glenoak airport, Robbie is waiting for Mary. She arrives, knocking him over with an enthusiastic tackle. He is a little less keen on her, however, and when Mary starts talking about this being their "second chance," Robbie experiences an attack of semantics and feels compelled to explain that since Mary has already broken up with Robbie twice, this is technically their third chance. He's one passionate guy, that Robbie.
RevCam is still waiting for Serena to explain her "spiritual emergency," but so far she's just been lamenting that guys try to pick her up in bars. She flirtatiously points out that RevCam has never tried to pick her up, and posits that maybe she should "hang out at church." RevCam suggests that she might want to find reasons to attend church beyond meeting men. He also mentions that her crisis does not sound very "spiritual" to him. Eric's standing about a foot away from Serena when some older guy clears his throat to let them know they have company. Serena hugs RevCam and says they can "talk later." She leaves. The old guy claims to be Eric's friend. He presumes on that familiarity by getting all into Eric's business, telling him that Serena has a reputation and that RevCam should stop counseling her. Nice friend! He says that Serena "gets what she wants," and that right now she wants RevCam.
I'm not the only one who's always knocking the writers for giving the kids friends who only last an episode, but in this case, I don't understand why they didn't get rid of Mike Pierce five minutes into his first guest spot. He's listening to Lucy bitch about Jeremy being accepted into Juilliard. Ah, so that's what the unexplained letter from New York was about. I can finally sleep at night without that big mystery tearing away at me. Lucy explains that Jeremy's secret plan had been to come back to Glenoak and attend Crawford Clown College with her in the fall, but that Juilliard is too important an opportunity for him to give up. Does she mean it's a better opportunity than Crawford Clown College? That can't be true! She's miserable because she wisely feels that she shouldn't stop Jeremy from attending Juilliard, but she also feels that the bond she forged with him over the course of that one episode a few months ago is so strong that to break it would make her unhappy for the rest of her life. Ah, young love between dumb-asses can be so annoying. Lucy says her parents would never allow her to attend school in New York City. I guess she's forgetting that she's eighteen, and thus legally able to decide her own living arrangements. Except that the legal system in Glenoak is pretty screwed up, and maybe women can't oppose their parents' wishes until the age of twenty-one, or twenty-five or thirty. Mike says he has a plan that could make it harder for the CamRents to stop Lucy from being with Jeremy in New York. You know, I'll bet it's one of those plans that's so crazy, it just might work!
Back at the pizza place, Simon daringly reaches for Deena's hand and tells her he doesn't want to be friends with her anymore. She stares at him vacuously. Oops, sorry -- that's just her usual facial expression. Simon lets her know that he wants to be alone with her. I can only hope he's not thinking of giving her another hickey, because I don't think I could take hearing them philosophize about it ad nauseam, like they did last year. I really hope we don't have to endure that, but I'm scared, because that sounds like just the sort of non-storyline the writers would consider to be a good cliffhanger.
Robbie and Mary walk into the CamPound, Mary haranguing him about his lack of enthusiasm for her return. Robbie claims the CamRents are telling him he can't date Mary while living under the same roof with her. He stares at her chest while saying something about there being a "hands-off" policy.
In the CamGarage, James walks in and stares at Annie's ass while saying, "Nice work." He's here to tells her he's got some wood for her, except he uses the word "lumber" and says it's in the back of his truck. While Annie's protesting that she couldn't possibly accept his offer, she walks into another room of the garage, where it looks like the twins have been sitting, unchaperoned, amid the power tools. Finally, Annie agrees to accept his wood. James offers his help also, but Ruthie walks in to refuse that. James says he will just slip Annie some wood and then leave. Annie tells Ruthie that she should be nicer to James. Despite Annie's protests that James is just a friend, Ruthie insists that he's got the hots for SuperMom, and that Annie is not allowed to have male friends since she is a mother. Annie does not set the little demon urchin straight here, preferring instead to smile at her like that was a cute thing to say. I'm not usually psychic, but right now I'm seeing a lot of psychotherapy in Ruthie's future.
Well, what do you know? James really does have lumber in the back of his truck! Ruthie has followed him out to the driveway, ostensibly to apologize for her earlier rudeness. James starts talking about the wife he lost to a car accident and claims that Ruthie reminds him of her. I'll bet that secretly means he wishes Ruthie would get hit by a bus. With the kind of pluckiness that only badly written child television characters can muster, Ruthie attempts to set James straight about the fact that Annie is not available. James pretends to think this is cute and/or amusing.
Serena calls RevCam and invites him to stop by her house so they can finish their earlier conversation. When he agrees, she seductively says she will be waiting for him.
Dopey shows up to have an intimate tête-à-tête with Cheryl while she's working. Cheryl doesn't want to talk to him, because she's still angry over what she overheard earlier. She tells Dopey he is now free to date someone of whom his family will approve and walks away, leaving Dopey staring after her vacuously.
Lucy rushes up to Jeremy at the pool hall. Does he live there? It seems like that's the only place we ever see him. Lucy solution to their problem is to ask him to marry her. She's really obnoxious about it, too. I'm not sure if Jeremy's trying to look taken aback or disgusted by the idea.
I guess Jeremy accepted Lucy's gracious proposal, because after a commercial break that allows us to assimilate the big news, we see Lucy hanging up the phone after talking to Jeremy's parents. She claims they were happy for the beautiful young couple. Jeremy says something about him and Lucy being "together forever." You know, someone should tell him that they could accomplish the same thing by carrying out a suicide pact, and it would be a lot less painful for the viewers.
Annie is about to call James to let him know he forgot a set of blueprints at Casa Camden. Ruthie tries to stop her, claiming that James left something behind so that he would have an excuse to see SuperMom again. Aw, I just think it's so cute when Ruthie is the voice of reason. Don't you agree?
Mary walks into the kitchen to express her displeasure over the fact that none of her family members cancelled their afternoon plans to welcome her home. Annie tries to tell her about the room she's building over the garage. You didn't think Mary would actually be grateful for something, did you? No -- she wants to bitch out her parents for not letting her date Robbie. Except that RevCam's not home. Ruthie keeps insisting that Eric is with his "girlfriend." Annie just rolls her eyes and asks Mary what's wrong. Mary's about to tell her when she sees Robbie walk in, so she says, "Never mind," and leaves.
Down at Flicks, the movie's over, but Simon and Deena are still kissing. They decide to stay and make out through the showing. No sign of any hickeys yet, but I'll keep you posted.
Serena, looking very much like a whorehouse madam, has lured RevCam to her house. She explains that her "spiritual emergency" is that today is her fortieth birthday and she doesn't want to be alone. RevCam seems taken in by her stupid story.
In the CamGarage, Mary is reaming out her mother for not letting her date Robbie. Annie says that while she's not comfortable with the situation, she and RevCam never imposed a no-dating rule on Robbie. Mary wonders why Robbie would lie to her. Do you think it's because you're a repulsive, rude git, Mary? Because that's what I think. Dopey walks in and welcomes Mary home, but she's too into her own problems to be even superficially polite to him. He breaks the news that he's dating Cheryl, but even that doesn't get Mary's attention. She leaves in search of Robbie. SuperMom doesn't appear overly thrilled with Dopey's news, but he doesn't pay her any heed. His "brain" is only capable of holding one thought at a time, and right now he's fixated on informing every single Camden of his dating status. He decides to employ Ruthie's idea of leaving a note on the fridge, telling the rest of the family about Cheryl.
Lucy and Jeremy pick out an engagement ring. Lucy says, "This is real, isn't it?" She's not talking about the ring; she means the very special and magical love she shares with Jeremy. I hope she's not one of those idiots who thinks an engagement can't be official until there's a ring on her finger. As for their love being "real," I can't tell you. All I can say is that I would have found them a lot more believable as a couple if they'd spent more than one episode together.
Boy, all this suspense has me so frazzled. John is on the phone with his father, asking about his grandmother. We don't get to hear any news yet, though. I know it's tough, but be patient.
James stops by the CamKitchen to see Annie. He's all spiffed up, and claims he got stood up by his dinner companion. Annie invites him to dinner, and he agrees, but on the condition that she let him help with the garage. He says he would do "anything" for her. Instead of asking him to take her away from her miserable, ungrateful family, Annie merely asks him to set the table. I hope she uses her other two wishes more wisely. She calls Eric's pager. Eric is outside at Serena's, busy with the barbecue. Serena is inside the house, where Eric left his coat, and when she hears his pager go off, she reaches into his coat and turns it off.
Mary confronts Robbie about lying to her. He tells her he's afraid that if things don't work out between him and Mary, he will have to leave the house. I guess he's not comfortable telling her about the sexual chemistry he shares with her father, though. He tries to make himself sound more noble by claiming that it's harder for him not to be dating her, since he's had sex before and thus knows what he's giving up by not being able to have it with her. Except he uses the phrase -- please bear with me, because I find it very embarrassing to type this, okay? -- "adult relations." Ugh, I feel so dirty now. But you know, Robbie, I don't think it's medically possible to die from lack of sex, okay? That's just something teenage boys say to take advantage of some teenage girls' poor self-esteem. For reasons that aren't entirely clear, Mary starts insisting that she, too, has had "adult relations." In fact, she treats us to a long story about some guy from New York City she met at the train station and how she allegedly had a one-night stand with him. Hey, wait a second. Didn't she meet Lucy's boyfriend at the train station that time, and doesn't he live in "the city"? I mean, it's not like there are hundreds, or thousands, or even millions of people in New York State. It's got to be the same guy. My suspicions are confirmed when she announces that her partner in premarital "adult relations" was named Jeremy. Wow, what are the odds? That's just incredible. Of course, Robbie doesn't believe that Mary had sex, and quite frankly, I don't either.
Dopey shows up on Cheryl's doorstep with a goofy grin on his face. She slams the door on him, which is smart. What's not so smart is that she opens it again when he tells her that he's broken the big dating news to his family. It doesn't take long before Matt's back in her good graces. She invites him to join her "for dinner." He declines because he already ate. It turns out she already ate too! Ooh, Cheryl, that is one sassy come-on line. I guess Cheryl wants dinner to consist of "adult relations." I wish her luck getting Dopey into the sack, though. He's looking mighty uncomfortable with the suggestion that they take their relationship "to the level."
Robbie chases Mary through the CamPound, telling her she didn't have sex. She keeps insisting she did. Of course, no one's using the word "sex," but at least they're not saying "adult relations" either. I'll just be grateful for small blessings.
As RevCam prepares to leave Serena's house, she attacks. After insisting that it's okay for him to stay, she says she's been dropping hints for weeks and asks him outright if he's going to make a move. He looks like he's considering it, but to be honest, there's not a whole lot of suspense here because you know he's never going to go through with it.
Simon escorts Deena home after their date and finds that her ex-boyfriend, Tim, is waiting at the house. He's there to apologize for being a "jerk," though I'm not sure what an apology is going to accomplish, since it doesn't look like Tim has any grand plans to become something other than a jerk. He charmingly asks Deena, "So, you still my girlfriend or what?" Simon looks distressed when he sees that Deena is actually considering Tim's suavely-put question.
Priscilla enters the Sinnin' Premarital Cohabitators' Pad to find John sitting dejectedly. She doesn't pay much attention, though, because she's too busy disparaging her parents for changing most of the wedding plans she had made with John. I'm not sure when this wedding is supposed to be, but it sounds like it's in a few days, so I don't think there's much realistic chance of Gene and Sylvia finding Priscilla a new wedding dress now. Oh, but I forgot -- in Glenoak, reality as we know it does not exist. Maybe Priscilla's parents went to the bridal shop and decided they liked another bride's dress, so they just took it. Because people do that sort of thing in Glenoak, you know. Priscilla, inspired by John's speech earlier in the show, has decided to maintain a positive attitude. That's going to be hard, though, when John tells her that there may not be a wedding. Is anyone taken in by the fake suspense? I know I'm not.
At the CamPound, Robbie's still following Mary around the house in what is probably supposed to be hilarious fashion. Annie's in the kitchen, where she cuts herself with a knife. The fake blood is extremely fake. James wants to perform some first aid. Of course, he has to get right up to her to do that. Overcome with passion at his proximity to SuperMom, James gives in to the irritating urge to share his feelings with her. He says he knows nothing can ever happen between him and Annie, but then he kisses her. She's not exactly pushing him away.
James apologizes and leaves, just barely missing the arrival of Lucy and Jeremy. Lucy perkily announces that she and Jeremy have important news to share with the CamRents. A confused Annie is not sure of Eric's whereabouts. Robbie and Mary come into the kitchen, still shouting at each other. Their stupid fight is interrupted by Jeremy, who recognizes Mary from the time he met her at the train station. Robbie makes the connection between this guy and the Jeremy in Mary's story, and looks like he's about to blow a gasket. It quickly becomes obvious that Mary and Jeremy never had sex, but that's not stopping Robbie from getting more and more worked up. Mary keeps trying to get Robbie to calm down and talk to her privately, but he prefers to slug Jeremy and inform everyone about Mary and Jeremy having "adult relations." At this point Mr. Cate and I were laughing much too hard to hear what Lucy said, but I think it was just some whining about how this was supposed to be the happiest day of her life but now it's all ruined. But I did catch the part where she blames Mary for all of it, even though Mary didn't even know that Jeremy was Lucy's boyfriend. How about a little righteous anger at the person who was in the relationship with you and betrayed your trust, huh? Of course, none of that really applies to this plot, which is totally contrived and so utterly, utterly dumb that it's making my head hurt.
I think it's time for a little comic relief, don't you? Well, guess who's here to supply it: Brainless Wilson. He tells Mary he's in Glenoak to bring her back to "New York," because she belongs with him. Okay, first off, Dimwit Wilson, you live in Buffalo, not New York. When you live in New York State, you only say "New York" when you mean the city of New York, which is more commonly known simply as "the city" anyway. If you mean you want to take Mary back to Buffalo, say so. Better yet, don't say anything at all. Just stand there with your mouth open, because there's just no way to make your desire to drag a woman back to Buffalo sound like anything other than a nasty, brutish, antiquated notion that should never, ever be articulated. Mary introduces Robbie and Wilson to each other. You'd think they'd be upset with each other, but you would never know from the wooden acting. The episode draws to a close with everyone standing around, looking pretty embarrassed to have been a part of it.