Time Flies

Pan down onto a quiet trailer park. The magic of editing brings us inside one of the packed-together mobile homes. A still-life video montage gives us clues to the pleasant life that's about to end therein: TV "personalities" jabbering away cheerfully on the morning show. Kettle on the stove. Coffee in the filter, gardening gloves to them. Shelves and shelves of tchotchkes. The sound of the toilet lid going up in the bathroom. Christmas cards. Photos. Knitting. The sound of a book hitting the floor in the bathroom. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People on the linoleum. The teakettle whistling. The old lady on the terlet with her pants around her ankles. So long, Lila Simonds Coolidge (1909-2005). Don't be embarrassed about the way you ended up going out. It was good enough for Elvis.

Forget about all that hippy-dippy Circle of Life crap, because tonight? Life is a line and you're going to like it. And we now go from one end of that line to the other, as symbolized by the used pregnancy test sitting out on the counter of an entirely different bathroom, namely Nate's. We can't see what the results might be, and shirtless Nate isn't interested anyway. He's more interested in his current spot at some arbitrary midpoint between the two ends of the Line of Life. He closely inspects his face in the mirror, trying different expressions one after another. He looks like he's trying to read his reflection's mind, but of course, he ends up quitting, because it's too hard.

When Nate comes out to the kitchen fully dressed in his suit and tie, Brenda and Maya are waiting for him. At Brenda's prompting, Maya lisps, "Happy biff-dayyYYYY!." Okay, that was cute. Nate thanks and kisses the women in his life. Brenda, in particular, seems to be waiting for more from him, but he moves on, oblivious to both her attitude and the bulge that's pushing out the front of her already bulky sweater. Brenda, you're supposed to take the pregnancy test before you start showing. Otherwise you're just wasting twelve bucks. And, okay, I know Rachel Griffiths was actually pregnant during the shooting of this season, but if they're not going to bother to try and hide it, then I'm not going to bother trying not to notice. "Did you notice anything in the bathroom?" she asks pointedly. After obsessing more about his new wrinkles, Nate finally gets it: "Are you pregnant?" Brenda excitedly confirms it. "That's great!" Nate says, walking over to hug her. "Congratulations!" Uh-oh. Brenda immediately shuts down. "Come on, what am I supposed to say?" Nate asks. What did you say last time, dude? Brenda basically starts hustling him and Maya out the door. "Thank you for your hearty congratulations," she snarks before storming off to get ready for work. "I'm happy, just tell me again," Nate says. Yeah, Brenda's all about take two, isn't she?

Over at another location for high-maintenance Chenowiths and the Fishers who love them, Claire is getting ready to go to...a job she doesn't have? The school she's not enrolled in? Shopping with money she doesn't have access to? I don't know, somewhere. Billy comes out of the bedroom in his tighty-whities whining that he can't find his "Ski Iraq" shirt. Claire says that she hasn't seen it since he wore it last night. Billy throws a snit fit. "What is your problem?" Claire demands. Hey, Claire, here's a theory: maybe he's off his meds. Billy goes to the fridge saying he doesn't think he can wear clothes today. I don't think your shirt is in the lettuce crisper, dude. Although, who can tell, what with your being off your meds. Claire suggests that Billy see a doctor: "Every day with you, it's like a bigger problem." Billy slams the fridge and stomps towards her, saying, "Not everything is something that can be medicated, Claire!" which she doesn't realize is something nobody would ever say unless they're off their meds. Claire backs off both literally and figuratively. Billy says that his clothes feel "heavy" today: "I want my 'Ski Iraq' shirt." ["That's totally something Glark said all winter, only he would be complaining that his clothes were all too light because he's never not cold, and what he wanted were what we call his 'puffy pants' -- cargo pants lined with polar fleece -- and he couldn't understand that sometimes they were in the washer and he couldn't wear them every single day, BUT ANYWAY." -- Wing Chun] Claire offers to help him find it. Billy sighs, relieved: "That's all I wanted, was some help." He hugs a confused Claire. "I still feel like I have something on," he chuckles, heading back to the bedroom. Claire nervously watches him go, wondering what's going on with him. Hey, you suppose he's off his meds?

David and Keith are sitting in a diner across from Mary (their potential surrogate mother) and someone from the surrogate agency. Keith formally asks Mary to "be our egg donor and our surrogate." Mary's all atwitter: "I've never been proposed to like this. Most people are so businesslike...Whose seed will it be?" "His," David answers, and Keith and Mary smile at each other as if they're going to have actual sex. The surrogate agency lady asks Mary if that's a yes. "Yes, yes, of course, yes!" gushes Mary, and takes a sip of coffee. David asks if there's caffeine in it. Mary stops sparkling for the first time since we've met her. "Oh, we're into that already," she says flatly. "Okay. It was so nice for a minute there." David says he only asks because he's read that caffeine makes it harder to conceive. Mary cheerily assures David that she conceives easily: "It's kind of unsettling. But I assure you, once we sign the papers, I will look forward to working close with you to make sure our baby is healthy and gets conceived." In that order? Everyone agrees that they're really excited. I really hope Mary doesn't turn out to be a nutbar. ["'turn out'?" -- Wing Chun] The server comes to collect Mary's plate, asking, "Are you finished with your eggs?" Heh. I wonder if Keith had sausage.