KOTU: The execs arrive, and explain whey they're so excited about their deodorant. The power stripe is apparently a patented Right Guard thing. Clint asks about using beautiful women in advertising. Jesse tells us Clint doesn't know anything, which is annoying.
Back at Athena, Annie asks for tasks. She wants Annie to do the brand messaging and to present. Melissa and Brande will do the photo shoot. Melissa says she has nothing to do, because she's being frozen out. Lots of Annie talking and throwing out ideas, and Brande agreeing with everything, all "Mmm-hmmm." She's like a scared, bullied kid who feels like she can't not be nice to Annie. She even calls her the queen of this kind of stuff. The ad is a four-page spread that's all Annie's idea. Annie wants to make sure it's Brande's vision, not just hers. Brande just nods. Melissa tells us that Annie's completely manipulative and in charge. She says it's a fascinating thing to watch. Though I think she means "fascinating" in a negative sense.
KOTU still seems to not have any ideas. Joan says it's difficult for her because she's not athletic. Clint thinks it needs to be a chronology of a guy who's sweating, who ends up not stinking. Joan laughs that she hopes Clint knows what he's doing, since he won't ask for help. Jesse's doing research on David Lee. Joan wants a bunch of giant black guys with David in the middle, to show the pressure. She also suggests having David stand there naked with an orange stripe, just like the stripe on the Right Guard. But no one says anything, other than Clint snarkily telling her to go her own way. She says she knows nothing about sports, so it's up to Clint and Jesse. Jesse wants to go with the St. Louis kid coming to New York City to perform. He wants a fold-out ad telling that story with great images. He says he knows advertising. Clint doesn't think that idea meets the criteria, since Right Guard isn't central there. Clint just wants random brand messages and buzz words everywhere: "Don't get caught off guard." Jesse ends up basically saying "whatever" to Clint, because he's not going to get to do anything more than that.
At Athena, Annie goes with Bob Scott, the photographer (which is weird, since Brande and Annie were supposed to be the photo shoot people, weren't they?). Annie tells Bob she knows David. She met him at a nightclub. Annie continues to be annoying and calls Brande to fill her on every little thing that happens. Melissa says they're telling secrets, but Brande has Annie on speakerphone, so it's not that secretive. She does confront Brande, though, about how they're conspiring to get rid of her. Brande glares in such a way that it almost looks scripted. Brande insists she's never talked bad about Melissa or conspired. Melissa feels they're going to turn on her if the team loses. She tells Brande they're not fooling her. Brande interviews that Melissa is a sensitive, irritating whiner, but she has nothing against her. Except, you know, those things.
David shows up at Athena. Brande's surprised about how cute he is. He shoots the pictures: dancing, shirtless, signing autographs. Melissa's mad because Brande took over the photo shoot, which is supposed to be her job. She tells us she's being frozen out. Annie whispers about Brande to Melissa, saying that Brande's had her do everything. She explains that she did that so that Melissa would feel like she was pulled in privately to Annie, so that it wouldn't seem like she was on Brande's side. Melissa explains to Annie that she's not being used at all, and Annie says she thinks they have opposite problems. Then she tells us how this is like poker: It's all about analyzing your opponents and finding different game strategies, etc. Annie wants to make it to the final four.
David Lee shows up at KOTU, and towers over Clint Black. Clint says David was great. He laughs about how it's so great to be at a photo shoot when it's someone else being photographed. Clint says he's done about 1,600 photo shoots so he took over at the shoot. He can't imagine it could have gone any better. Jesse just watches, as Clint switches from a Knicks Jersey to a Right Guard jersey. Jesse says they're losing. He also knows there's no arguing with Clint, so he'll let him fall on his sword, but he still hates losing. He questions Clint on a couple things, but doesn't push very hard. Probably because he likes to remain sane and not argue with Clint Black.
Clint's totally happy with the photos from the shoot. You know, because he was in charge of it all. Annie peeks in the room to see how they're doing. She asks if they liked David. Joan is annoyed, and talks about how duplicitous she is. When Annie leaves, Joan makes a joke about Annie wearing three garments in a size 6: 6-6-6. Jesse thought she was Hitler, but Joan says she wouldn't want to insult Hitler. Um, ouch. She interviews that Annie plays people brilliantly, and she can't wait for Annie to get her first face lift, because she will need two doctors. The ad's done, and Clint asks what Jesse thinks. He thinks it looks like shit. Joan tells him to go ahead, since he's the boss. Jesse laughs that it's terrible, and he'd hit delete and go with what Jesse's idea was. He says they'd win an award for his idea, but Clint doesn't listen. Clint can only figure this is game play on Jesse's part. Jesse tells Clint he's being a pussy. What's hilarious, is he says "fucking pussy," and the whole expression gets bleeped, but my caption says, "[beep] pussy." Pussy can't be said on TV, but apparently can be captioned. Jesse calls Clint stupid, and then Clint asks if Jesse won't work on it unless they do 100 percent of his idea. Jesse says that's right. Joan explains that Clint now takes fifteen minutes before rejecting an idea, because he's gone through so much Joan therapy. She says Jesse just went bananas. She's never seen him so angry. Jesse really is being mean, calling Clint stupid again and again. Then he mocks what Clint will do in the boardroom. Joan says this sounds like her first marriage. Ha.
Athena: Jim Cramer comes in to see their presentation, and to annoy me. I can't even listen to his voice without wanting to scream. Annie keeps telling Jim Cramer all of the stuff she's done. She did this, and this, and this. Melissa interviews that Annie did everything short of dance on the table with her top off to impress Jim Cramer. Jim interviews that Annie's very clever, making it so that she gets all of the credit for a win, but no blame for a loss. He asks the ladies what they'd like him to say to Trump. Brande wants to hear "good leader," Annie wants him to say how hard she worked and how amazing she did, and Melissa wants to hear the word "equal." Annie scoffs, and tells us she almost punched her in the face. She wants credit for having to do this much. Jim Cramer wishes them luck and leaves. Annie thinks Melissa should get fired if they lose. Brande agrees with "equal." Annie does not.
Trump gives us a business tip: It's all about the word "passion," which is right up there with talent and brains. He says that will be key in deciding who wins. This is what we call filler in a bloated two-hour episode.
KOTU's presentation. Clint's the presenter. Jesse thinks the presentation was irrelevant because they didn't do well. He thinks it's time for Clint to go home. The ads are terrible, so I would definitely agree. Athena's presentation. The ladies all wear their Right Guard jerseys in, and Annie presents. Melissa thinks Annie's not a good presenter, because it's stiff and not conversational enough. She thinks if the presentation sucks, you're going to lose. She really is sort of being cheesy. Their tagline is "The only thing I ever need to wear." I think it should have been "The only thing I always need to wear." That makes more sense. The execs meet with Trump. They like both teams's ideas, and go into detail about what they like and don't like. It's very boring: They like KOTU's orange and power stripe on the edge of the pages. They didn't like that they don't tie him to the Knicks in a strong way. They like Athena's shirtless ad, but think it should have been first, not third in the sequence.
With 40 minutes left, we're headed to the boardroom. This must be a doozy. Trump asks Brande how she did with those two tough women. Brande thinks they won. Melissa says she was a good leader and Annie says she and Brande "make a great team." Clint tells Trump if his team wins, they did brilliantly. They did the best they could. Jesse doesn't think his team was much of a team, because Clint didn't utilize Joan and Jesse. If they win, Jesse disagrees. Trump asks what Clint's problem is. Jesse thinks he's too caught up with being the guy with the good idea. He says the hardest thing about being a great leader is knowing what you can't do, and Clint doesn't want to use Jesse even though he owned a magazine. Clint's surprised, and rambles about Jesse. Annie yawns. Trump shuts Clint up and says he doesn't even know what he's saying. He says Jesse wasn't a team player this time, because he wouldn't even help when they asked him to.
Time to show the ads: Ivanka shows KOTU's, and Jim shows Athena's. Athena likes KOTU's and is surprised at how good it is after how the other team hated it. Clint feels KOTU branded the product better, and Joan thinks it's prettier than Athena's. Jesse even agrees that theirs is better than Athena's. He says he still doesn't like theirs, but it's better than the other. Trump says the executives liked both ads very much, which is actually tougher than a slaughter. The executives chose KOTU, and Trump says they have to give Clint credit. Jesse doesn't want to, but he does, and Clint says he got a lot of great ideas from them both. Trump sends the queen and her pawns out. In the hall, Annie says she wasn't conspiring against Melissa. Melissa thinks she's the easiest target, but Brande thinks she is, as project manager. And I would have to agree.
Clint, Jesse, and Joan drink champagne in the suite. Joan gives Clint all sorts of credit, and Jesse admits that he did work hard. Clint feels really good about winning. Jesse toasts Joan for keeping them from killing each other. In the boardroom, Jim thinks Brande should go, since she's project manager. Ivanka thinks that's the obvious choice, but the other two could hang themselves. Trump calls them back in. He asks why Brande should stay. She says she's shown her skills from the beginning, and been called a star. She says she stepped up to be project manager again. She's raised the second-most money to Annie. Jim asks Brande why she shouldn't be the fall woman, since she didn't delegate to Melissa well. She rambles, but Joan just says to the guys that she's dumb. Trump asks if she hasn't had to use her brain that much because she's pretty, and she says it's the opposite. She's had to be so smart. Remember "coerce" and "foregooed"? Joan says that both breasts can count to ten, which cracks Jesse and Clint up. Trump asks if her beauty has made her smart, and she says yes, and that Ivanka can probably relate because she's gorgeous. Ivanka cutely turns to Trump and says, "Okay, Brande should stay." Everyone laughs.
Trump asks what Annie has to say. She says it's a tough decision when you're down this far, but she doubts anyone wants to win as much as her. Joan says that's true, and that she'd kill and bury her mother for it. Trump asks who she'd fire, and Joan says, "Melissa. She's competition." Annie says that overall Brande's been stronger, but this time there wasn't strong leadership. Trump asks why he shouldn't fire Annie, since she took control. She says she didn't take control. She was asked to do all the things she did, and checked in with Brande on everything. Brande agrees, and can't think of a reason Annie should be fired, unless they hated the brand, which they obviously didn't. Brande thinks they're both wonderful, but she thinks Melissa has gotten too personal in the game, which distracts from the task. Brande thinks Melissa and Annie wouldn't be as good of a team as Annie and her. Jim thinks this was the time to step up and drop the Mother Theresa stuff and speak up and say why someone should be fired. Brande tries to stick up for herself now, but Ivanka says she lacked some passion in her defense. Jim thinks Melissa should be fired because Brande will go to the end and bring more money in than anybody else here. She's angry at Jim, which makes me like her again, because he's annoying.
Trump finally asks Melissa's opinion. She says she's worked her ass off, and has been in the middle of the pack as a fundraiser. She says she's always the one to step up and do whatever, whenever. Brande interrupts and says she has worked hard, too. Ivanka thinks it's amazing that Brande's fighting with Melissa and Annie gets to sit back and relax even though they lost and she did the presentation and came up with the concept. Trump passes Jim a note, and Jim agrees. They whisper back and forth. Trump asks Jim who he'd fire, and he asks if Joan knows. Melissa says not to worry about her mother's participation. He says, then, yes, he'd fire her. Joan shakes her head. She asks why, when she did everything she was asked. Trump says he thinks Jim is saying this because raising money is going to count. Melissa feels confident she's rallied her troops. She says she came to win, and feels she's been maligned by two women who have set her up. Trump thinks she's been amazing, but she's fired. Which is completely the wrong decision, since Brande did nothing and has done nothing a few times now. Trump has such a thing for pretty ladies that he can't use logic.
Ivanka and Jim agree with Trump, who says Joan's not going to be happy. As if to prove the point, in the suite, Joan wishes Jesse and Clint luck with the Nazi and the follower, since she's not coming in tomorrow. Jesse explains she doesn't want to be here without Melissa, because they support each other. Melissa goes in and calls Brande and Annie "whore pit vipers" to her mom. Annie and Brande whisper in the hall, and prepare to face Joan. Then Melissa runs out and tells the camera guy or someone that she wants her shit now, or she's not getting into the elevator. And she's not doing an interview. Joan calls Annie a piece of shit and Brande a stupid blond. She says Brande's been manipulated by Annie. Brande interviews this is a side of Joan she hasn't seen, and didn't think it would be directed at her. Joan says that Annie's a poker player, which is worse than white trash. Annie says poker players are awesome. Joan leaves.
Melissa's still out there, saying she wants her purse and everything else, and tells "David" he's not getting an interview. She yells and screams, which they can hear in the boardroom. Trump just shrugs. Melissa goes inside the elevator and tells her mom she's not coming back up. They get in the elevator together.
week: Will Joan come back, or are we at the final four?