Once again, I missed the previously on the Real World segment, but I think it's more fun to guess what they showed based on the episode as a whole. This week, I'm guessing they showed some interaction between Ruthie and Annoying (possibly where Ruthie called Annoying a bitch), and a clip from the casting special featuring Colin and Trevor.
Colin and Ruthie are making T-shirts for a charity boat cruise/silent auction sponsored by Local Motion. The money will go to a Women and Children's Medical Center and Big Brothers/Big Sisters. Colin and Annoying tour the Medical Center. Annoying compliments a sick little kid's slippers. Must it always be about fashion, Annoying? Colin asks a little girl if she likes basketball. This seemed weird to me until they showed that she has a mini-basketball hoop in her room. Colin starts playing catch with her and she bonks him in the head with the ball. Ha! In a confessional, Annoying shows off her vocabulary by saying, "Until you actually see the faces of the children, it's really kind of just a thing, but when you have faces to go with the thing, it's a lot more personal." Colin and Annoying look at a clay rabbit that the little girl made. Colin tells Annoying to "kiss the bunny." If you think, as I do, that those two used "kiss the bunny" as a euphemism for sex, that's really gross. Annoying says no, the little girl says yes, and Annoying does it. In a confessional, Annoying tells us they have a lot of tickets to sell. Colin says that the boat and bands are set, and "if everyone does their [sic] job, it could go smoothly."
Colin and Annoying are soliciting donations from local businesses for the silent auction. Annoying says that there is a Hooters nearby, and it makes her sick to her stomach. Colin says he doesn't care that it's Hooters as long as they give money that will go to kids. Amen, brother! Personally, I'm not a big fan of Hooters either, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't take their money for charity. Annoying says that he doesn't care because it's boobs and she cares because it's just boobs. Colin says, "I don't care if they donate boobs, as long as it's going to children." I think he meant the money, not the boobs, should go to children. At least I hope that's what he meant. They get to Hooters and Annoying immediately starts checking out the competition. She says, "Her boobs aren't that big. I could work here. I've got big boobs," and she sticks them out for Colin to see. He says, "No, you don't," which pretty much shuts down that conversation. They talk to the manager and explain why they're there, and the manager agrees to give a donation. Colin says that Annoying didn't want to come to Hooters, but he thinks it's a fine establishment. Annoying says she heard they have good wings. The manager says that they have more than that, and Annoying says, "Yeah, boobs too." I would just like to ban anyone on this show from ever saying the word "boobs" again. I heard it enough in that last scene for a lifetime. Oh, and Annoying? Shut up. While I too am not a big fan of Hooters because it contributes to the objectification of women so prevalent in our society, I don't go there and compare myself to the waitresses. I used to work practically door to one, and I would walk by and ignore it. I suggest you do the same.
Back at the house, we get a close-up of their bathroom fixtures that say "hope" and "love". That was pointless. Colin tells Ruthie that the phone is free. She asks him what he's doing tonight, and would he like to hang out with her friends. Ruthie calls her friend. Annoying walks by and says something, but I couldn't tell what she said. Ruthie thinks Annoying was talking to her, so she says, "What?" and when she doesn't get a reply, she says, "Oh, that's right, Amaya's not talking to me." In a confessional, Ruthie says that she's tried to have conversations with Annoying, but Annoying ignores her, and it's immature. Ruthie feels that she didn't do anything wrong and if she did, Annoying should tell her what it is. I agree. Annoying is on the phone with her friend Carly talking about Ruthie. Annoying says that Ruthie told her it's only two weeks until she can drink again, and Annoying feels that the point of going to rehab was to stop drinking. So clearly, Annoying should stop talking to Ruthie. That will solve the problem. In a confessional, Ruthie says, "That's the agreement, and that's the agreement that I agreed upon and that's...it." I would also like to ban any word that starts with "agree." So no "boobs" and no words that start with "agree." Got that? On the phone, Annoying says she doesn't have any love for Ruthie, and that she's keeping out of her way.
Ruthie and Colin are at a restaurant. Ruthie says that Annoying is still moping. Colin says he told Annoying that she wastes too much time on other people's problems. In a confessional, Ruthie says, "I'm not the cause of her issues but she makes everyone the cause of her issues and that's her problem." Ruthie tells Colin that she doesn't regret anything that she's done because she learned from it all. In a confessional, Colin says that Ruthie hasn't fixed everything but he sees that she's changing and that she's a solid person inside. At least he didn't say she was a strong woman, or I would've had to ban that phrase too. Colin and Ruthie walk down the street and Colin says he misses his friends from home, and can't wait to see them. His friends Mike and Trevor are coming for a visit. Ruthie says awkwardly, "If you ever want to let me know what you guys are doing, I...can I come along? Sometimes I like hanging with the guys more than the girls because sometimes the girls are too petty." I'm wondering what happened to last week, where she could just look in Tetanus Girl's eyes and know that everything was okay. Colin agrees that girls are petty and that he likes boys better. Then the bell rings and they return to their third grade classroom, but not before Ruthie gives Colin a cootie vaccination shot.
Wonder Bread is on the phone with Sarah, Ruthie's sister. He tells her that he's going to Big Brother/Big Sister to volunteer. In a confessional where he wears that GREEN SHIRT, he explains what Big Brother/Big Sister does, as if anyone on God's green earth doesn't know, or couldn't figure it out from the name of the organization. On the phone again, he whines to Sarah that his parents traveled a lot and they were left with a nanny, and how he would have liked someone to "take him to Little League or teach him how to do math...who was a guy who I could look up to [sic]." Oh, I feel so bad for little Wonder Bread. It is really sensitive of him to compare his nanny situation to that of poor children, largely from single-parent families. Except for the sensitive part. Way to make it all about you, loser. Anyway, then Wonder Bread tells Sarah that being around kids makes you act like a kid, and we get to see him, Colin and Ruthie playing with a bunch of kids.
Colin tells us that he did the Casting Special with his friends, and they were rejects there, but now they're reuniting in Hawaii. Do you think his friends are bitter that Colin got picked and they didn't? I kind of liked Trevor better than Colin anyway.
Colin is at the airport, holding a sign with his friends' names on it. Also on the sign is a silhouette of a naked lady, similar to what you would see on the mudflap of a trucker, right before his truck gets blown up by Thelma and Louise. So, Colin better watch out for Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis, I think. Anyway, Mike and Trevor exit the airplane pumping their fists in the air out of excitement and they all hug. They are all dressed the same with those thick white socks and long, baggy shorts. I think they are all secretly the same person, but through the magic of television, they appear to be three separate people. Trevor compliments Colin's hairstyle. This is funny, if you remember that Colin had a much dorkier hairstyle in the Casting Special and then Bunim-Murray sent him to a stylist before the show began taping. At the house, Colin points out their pond, some trees, the surfboards and his room. Trevor asks if Annoying moved into Colin's room. Colin says he told her not to, but she did anyway. That is a LIE! Go look at the recap from October 6, and read the second paragraph if you don't believe me. Far be it from me to defend Annoying, but that is just not true. Maybe he realizes that he just told a big lie because he changes the subject and suggests they all go surfing. They do. Not since Greg Brady donned the Tiki God necklace has Hawaii seen such a pathetic display of surfing non-expertise.
Tetanus Girl and Annoying are talking in the breakfast nook. This can't possibly be a good thing. Tetanus Girl asks Annoying what makes her nervous about Ruthie. Annoying says that she's not nervous, she's irritated, because Ruthie is so fake and goes around laughing way too hard at jokes that aren't even funny. I can't believe Annoying is accusing someone else of being fake. Annoying is mad because Ruthie isn't acting bitter at having to go to rehab. Instead, she just acts like "Suzy Sunshine," and that's not right. You know, I missed the episode where Annoying went to rehab and has any fucking clue what it's like, and I also missed the episode where Annoying was granted the right to tell everyone else in the house how they should feel and act at all times. I'm practically falling asleep on the job, I've missed so many episodes. Tetanus Girl spouts some nonsense, as usual, and Annoying says she's not willing to invest any time in a friendship with Ruthie. Tetanus Girl asks where everyone is, and Annoying says they went out. She is quick to add that they asked her to come along, but she chose not to go.
Ruthie, Colin, Mike and Trevor rent mopeds. It actually looks pretty fun. Ruthie suggests they go on campus, but the boys aren't sure that's allowed. Ruthie assures them that it'll be fine. Colin asks how he's supposed to get away from security when he can't go over twenty-five. Ruthie says that it's Sunday, so there's no security. Dumb as it sounds, that was actually true at my college! Predictably enough, they get stopped by security. Even more predictably, the producers play the Cops theme song. Colin acts like a wise-ass. Ruthie tries not to laugh. While riding the moped, something apparently got stuck to Ruthie's forehead. It looks like a piece of paper, or maybe bird shit. Oh wait, it's a bindi. My bad. They all get citations. In the confessional, Colin and his friends sing the Cops theme song. I am banning any song that begins, "Bad boys, bad boys, what you gonna do?" So no more "boobs," no more words that begin with "agree" and no more "Bad Boys" songs. Ruthie walks into the house and tells Annoying how much fun the mopeds were. Annoying waits a minute, then another minute, then another minute, and then makes a "whatever" face.
It's time for the charity boat cruise. Teck says the line to get on the boat was "off the hook," which I guess means "long." I don't know why he couldn't just say "long." Tetanus Girl says that they were only expecting one or two hundred people and they got eight or nine hundred. First, didn't they sell tickets? And wouldn't that tell them how many people were coming? And second, I hope they don't sink the boat! Well, now that I think about it....
On the cruise, we get shots of various cast members working their magic. Colin points out the silent auctions. Annoying tries to flirt with guys to get them to bid. It doesn't work. The band plays a song as Teck dances with Cousin It. Annoying tells someone that Hooters is participating in the auction, "if you're into Hooters." Ha! I don't think she meant that the way it came out. Colin sings really off-key along with the band and dances with his friends. Teck raps. Ruthie raps. Part of Teck's rap is captioned as, "Take off your wildlife odor." Huh? I can't tell if that's what he really said. In a confessional, Ruthie says that it means a lot to her to stand up again after she fell. Teck solicits donations from the stage by pretending to be a preacher, and he's pretty good at it. His dad's a preacher, remember? As the guests leave the boat, they all try to sell T-shirts but I don't think anyone bought any. They'll probably auction them off on eBay along with Colin's comforter. Teck tells us, "I was like my man off of The A-Team. I love it when a plan comes together."
Wonder Bread and Teck deliver a check to Big Brothers/Big Sisters for $2160. The guy accepting it does not seem at all excited, but I think that's a pretty big donation! Colin and Annoying deliver a similar check to the Medical Center.
At the airport, Colin, Mike and Trevor pretend to be sleeping while Ruthie takes their picture. Colin discusses how great his friends are. Then he steals a joke, but I can't remember what comedian said it originally. It's about how men don't like to hug, so they thump each other really hard on the back while doing it. That way, they can say they're hitting each other while hugging. It's a funny joke, but Colin did not make it up. His friends leave.
Annoying talks to her mom on the phone about Ruthie. My friend Molly pointed out that Annoying needs to invest in some cucumber pads for her eyes, because the dark circles are a little much. She does look like she just rolled out of bed. Anyway, she tells her mom that Ruthie is fake and rude. She says that the other night, Colin said that you should never get involved with a roommate and Ruthie said, "Colin knows all about that." Annoying says, "I was like, 'Excuse me, that's right, Colin's the victim of this whole thing.'" Well, she may have been "like" that, but I doubt she actually said anything to Ruthie. Instead, she'll come home and bitch about it on the phone to Mommy. Then Annoying observes that the only reason that Ruthie is clinging on to Colin is because he's the only one who hasn't seen through her bullshit. Jealous, much?
week: Annoying starts dating a new guy. Ruthie confronts Colin about his role in sending her to rehab.
Over the credits, Ruthie, Colin, Mike and Trevor do a little song in the van. I suggest that none of them quit their day jobs.