After the break, Kady's on the cola couches with Ryan. They rehash last week's totally insane and fantastic elimination of Alaina and confirm that, yes, Kady definitely thought she was going home. She refuses to credit the magical Heart good luck charm, which is kind of unclassy of her and makes me hope Ann Wilson shows up at her house one night and shrieks in her ear. She says she's got something to prove tonight, but she's still talking like a zombie, so I don't trust it. At this point we're just treading water to see if she'll flip Simon the bird after he pans her. Kady's most embarrassing moment involved her sucking at a talent show. Hmm. On stage, we see she's chosen Queen's "Who Wants To Live Forever." It's probably the least crappy she's been in the last three weeks, but it's nothing like the freakout insanity of Katharine McPhee's performance of this same song two years ago. God, that week was fantastic. Randy goes easy on her, mildly praising the weirdo song choice and complimenting her high notes. Paula says it was her best performance yet (true) but says the low notes were better than the high notes. Simon says the singing was fine but notes the issue of her "massive lack of personality." Wow. WOW. But...yeah. But WOW. Can "Ask Me About My Massive Lack Of Personality" be the Glarkware shirt? Please? That's the harshest thing I have ever heard. He calls her a robot when she sings, particularly on these sad songs. "It's a sad song, Simon," Kady baby-talks. Jesus. He says she "may be" in trouble, and I should hope so. She would make an absolutely terrible Haley Scarnato. Anyway. Ryan knows how his bread gets buttered so he tries to strike up further conversation (argument) between Kady and Simon on this whole massive-lack-of-personality issue, but Simon's like, "I've made the point, Ryan. Understand it." The crowd "OOOH"s and Ryan kind of Jack Bennys to the camera that it's going to be a long night. Okay...this is going to be difficult for me to do, but I'm going to give props to Seacrest for -- SO FAR -- avoiding the snitty arguments with Simon that had become his hallmark in semifinals. He's keeping the show moving without getting bogged down in his and Simon's bullshit, so...good job, Ryan.
Amanda's most embarrassing moment is the time she accidentally burned down her deck and pool after grilling out back, which I guess fits her image because she's destructive and dangerous and...really enjoys a s'more now and then? She's singing Joan Jett's "I Hate Myself For Loving You." Much as I hated that Kansas performance last week, I am sad to report that Amanda's loss of confidence after her judging last week has carried over into this week. There's no fire in her eyes anymore. The swagger only goes skin deep. I know some people don't have any use for Amanda at all, but even for those of us who do, a broken-down Amanda is no good to anyone. She soldiers on through the verses and falls back on the backup singers at the chorus, but I honestly think she's checked out. She finally looks her age now, as sad as that is to say. This overmatched, unconfident, scared girl definitely looks like she's 23 now. Randy, because he's an idiot, is all, "Amanda's back!" Paula continues obsessing on Amanda's hair and makeup, praising her for stripping herself down this week (indeed, she looks absolutely gorgeous now that she's not so painted up) and says she's found her "niche." Because she'd been so preoccupied with disco and Celine Dion to this week? Simon...if he's being honest...thought it was...fantastic. Go figure. He says it was the perfect song choice, perfect whatever, and then he goads her into smiling, because if there's anything a whiskey-voiced bar singer needs to do to perfect her image it's to smile a lot. For as much as Simon knows about how to package a product (and he does), I don't think he knows thing one about how to package Amanda.
Syesha's up last, and her secret embarrassment is also one of love lost in grade school, as a passed note led to her getting blown in to the teacher by her would-be paramour. One hopes this gave her a real complex about trust issues in a relationship. On stage, it's back to Whitney, with "Saving All My Love For You," which, having never listened to this song for more than a few seconds before, I never knew was about creeping around a married dude. And all this one week after "Me and Mr. Jones," too. I can't help but wonder what song from the husband-fucking genre awaits us week. Syesha does a credible job with the song, but I bet she gets slammed for not being Whitney. Actually, since the judges have spent the whole episode screwing around and being immature, they barely have any time for any critiques at all. Randy: "Good." Paula: "Sophisticated. Lovely." Simon: "Bit predictable, but good." Syesha Mercado, ladies and gents! Ryan at least gets them all to admit that she deserved to make Top 12. BUT WILL SHE?
Tomorrow, we find out for sure. On the merits, Kady and Kristy Lee (and Luke and Chikezie from last night) would go, but my actual predictions are Luke, Danny, Kady (who gets two of her flattest notes ever featured in the rundown), and then either Amanda or someone totally unexpected like Syesha or Asia'h or Carly. Could get weird.