By DeAnn Welker
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Kabletown execs, including honcho Hank Hooper, are going to tour, so Jack needs everyone to be normal -- in other words, "Don't be yourselves." But Hank's all about equality and listening to the people at the bottom, even Lutz. He forces Jack to spend a whole day listening to anyone's ideas, including bad ones from . Frank, Pete, Kenneth, Dot Com and Griz. But when Jack's idea for voice activation doesn't work, he blurts out Kenneth's idea about having a black bar at the bottom of the screen to cover up anything dirty. He tells Kenneth what he did, and Kenneth is totally fine with it, which of course makes Jack upset because he just cannot figure out that crazy page. All the execs, of course, love the "BlahBar," causing Jack to trap Kenneth in an elevator and yell at him. He practically forces Kenneth to take something to him or hurt him, then makes him punch him with no retaliation. But his instincts kick in and he takes Kenneth down, and gets no relief. So Jack tells Hank it was Kenneth's idea and then tries to resign. But Hank won't let him, because now he knows Jack's a good guy. Hank makes Jack give Kenneth a hug for this, and then he realizes Hank and Kenneth are the same person. Jack's world is a scary place.
Meanwhile, Avery's hiding her pregnancy on air (thanks to Michael Kors and his latest fashion style, wizard capes), so when she's caught at a baby store with Liz by a competing anchor, Liz pretends she's preggo. The news of course spreads, from Carmen (the anchor, played by Vanessa Minnillo), to Brian Williams, to Frank, to the whole building, basically. Carmen's trying to call Liz's bluff by telling her she's going on a fake news story about pregnant women in their 40's. But, because Jack's job is going so bad -- he doesn't know if he can work at a place where everyone is treated equally -- so Avery really needs the job she and Carmen are competing for. When Carmen ambushes Liz in her office with some interview questions, Liz aces the test until Carmen asks if she's pregnant. Liz says no. Busted! But not quite, because there's a pregnancy photo shoot first. Liz doesn't stop, and instead oils up her belly and scares Carmen away. Avery gets the job, so she and Jack will name the baby after her.
Also caught up in the merger drama are Jenna and Tracy, because Kabletown sent over a basket of stuff for them. There were two computers and fancy watches, so they were happy. But only one ugly gray Kabletown sweatshirt, which they spent the episode fighting over, only because they are needy egomaniacs. They go to Liz for resolution, and she gets to play the pregnancy card to get them to get the hell out and leave the sweatshirt in the garbage. Then Pete brings her double the food since she's eating for two. Dude, this is perfect for Lemon. When Tracy and Jenna learn the truth, they want to punish her, so she gives them the nude-ish pregnancy photos, theirs to keep as punishment. Jack, Jenna and Tracy all marvel at the horrific images.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Inside 30 Rock, Lemon's directing a TGS scene when Jack barges in and interrupts, asking them to "gather up" - everyone, even the robot. He lets them know that Hank Hooper, the owner of Kabletown, will be touring today so he needs them to be their most normal. Lame Tracy joke (he thinks dinosaurs come from "the underwater city of Syronocon). Less lame Jenna joke (when asked to get all her crazy out now, she shrieks at the guy to her about volumizing her hair). Lamest Frank joke (his "armpit thing" is almost touching his "thigh thing.") He reminds them not to be themselves, and then asks Lemon to meet him in his office. She wonders if he needs sex advice, and offers this tip: "Sometimes a woman likes to leave her blazer on." He rightly walks away. Kenneth presents Jenna and Tracy with a gift to the stars from Hank Hooper. They're all fake happy and fake into it, and fake enjoying the fact that there's two of everything in the box: two new Apple computers, two fancy watches. They're praising themselves for not fighting about anything anymore, until they get to the bottom of the box, where there is only one gray Kabletown hoodie. They pull on it until Tracy tells her he wants her to "selfishly take the best sweatshirt in the world." She's so happy.
Jack's office. He wants Lemon to take Avery shopping "for baby things": a crib, small clothes, a tiny desk with a miniature pen set on it. Luckily, he adds that he doesn't know a lot about babies, but he's sure Avery would enjoy having another woman go with her. Lemon's cool with that, but surprised Avery wouldn't want to take her terrifying best friend. Jack says her sister's institutionalized for nerves (actually, for being a lesbian), and her work friends can't go because she's trying to keep her pregnancy a secret. That would seem tough at eight months along, but Jack pulled some strings with Michael Kors (they own a gay race horse together), and got him to make wizard capes fashionable for ladies this winter. Lemon: "It's my fault for asking!" Jack says the problem is that Avery's up for a new job (financial reporter for NBC Nightly News), and she won't get the job if anyone finds out she's pregnant. Lemon uses this as an opportunity to talk about her one-act play about men getting pregnant, The Seahorses of Warwickshire Abbey, but Jack continues that Avery has to keep her condition under wraps until her contract is signed. Unfortunately, her competition is Carmen Chao of MSNBC. Lemon asks what ethnicity she is anyway, and Jack says no one knows. Cut to a scene of Vanessa Minnillo doing a news report. She speaks perfect Spanish, Chinese (I don't speak it, but I'm assuming based on the name Chao), and Jamaican. Cut back to Jack telling Lemon that if Carmen finds out she'll destroy Avery. Carmen, he says, is very sneaky. "And that's not racist, because I don't know what she is." Lemon invites Jack to a new popcorn place for lunch, but he's going to the executive dining room to meet with Hank Hooper. He can't wait to shake his hand, since you can tell a lot about someone by their handshake. Lemon and Jack shake, and she says he's confident. He, in turn, says she ate dinner in front of the mirror last night. Lemon doesn't even try to deny it: "Carol's away a lot."