By Lady Lola
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Jack is on the verge of a perfect day of decision-making and problem-solving -- a sacred event known to the rich and powerful as "Reaganing." He has but two obstacles in the way of him batting 1000. The first is Lemon, who needs a ride to Newark Airport to see Carol. It seems simple enough, until she reveals that she's going to break up with Carol. The plot thickens when it comes out that she's calling it off due to her own sexual dysfunction that stems from a particularly traumatic childhood incident involved roller skates and a Tom Jones poster.
This problem stymies Jack, who escapes the car in bumper-to-bumper traffic caused by none other than Tracy. Jack's confidence is shaken as he sees that Tracy is doing his damndest to botch one line in a commercial he's court-ordered to appear in (as community service) for the Boys & Girls Clubs of America. As he doubts himself, Jack spots a jar of jelly beans (Reagan's favorite) on the craft services table, and deploys them so Tracy's mouth will be moving, thus making him look like he's speaking, while Jack flawlessly delivers the one line in Jordan-speak. With his confidence back, Jack deduces that Lemon's dysfunction with Carol, and other boyfriends, stems from reminders of Tom Jones that have haunted her for years. He thus single-handedly saves her relationship and becomes a legitimate Reaganer.
Back at 30 Rock, Jenna gets a prestigious "Free Ice Cream for Life" card from Carvel. She sends Kenneth to order a cake with her card, but it comes back with a typo, so she tells him to return it. The cashier accidentally refunds Kenneth the cash for the cake that he never paid for and thus a scheme is born. They blather, chintz, repeat about five times before Jenna is found out. Kenneth has promised money to his family and pigs back in Georgia, so they welcome well-known swindler Kelsey Grammer into the fold for one last job. They successfully buy 21 cakes with TGS money, return empty boxes and snag an $800 take between them. While success only augments Jenna and Kelsey's conniving ways, Kenneth realizes their machinations are not without victims and decides to leave his grifter days behind him.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!30 Rock. Jack pitches a nightmare of a reality show to an executive friend while Jonathan marvels at his grace, power, and acumen. He grows frantic the minute Lemon arrives because he doesn't want Jack's winning streak to be thwarted. On the contrary, Jack calls her in, assured of his own hot streak. "When you're pitching a perfect game, you don't walk Albert Pujols," he tells her. "And you are the Albert Pujols of having problems." Lemon approaches, wary that she'll mar his record, but he's high off of a wonderful 24 hours including a rollicking session of lovemaking with Avery, for which she wrote him a thank-you note.
Jack thinks that he's entered a magic zone of error-free living called "Reaganing." He tells her, "The only people who have done it are Lee Iacocca, Jack Welch, and -- no judgment! -- Saddam Hussein." He asks what Lemon wants. She needs a ride to the airport to see Carol, and the Greece-Pakistan soccer game is putting a crimp in her plans. He says it's no problem. He'll drop her off himself and swing by MSNBC afterward. (As a former MSNBC employee who made the transition to 30 Rock, I'll forgive this little sic, but after last week's live show -- which apparently many people other than me enjoyed -- my home girl Tina is on thin ice. Don't get it twisted, Fey.) Says Jack seriously "I need to talk to Rachel Maddow. Only one of us can have this haircut." With that, the ice just thickened significantly. Credits.
Downstairs, Tracy finds Kenneth to inform him he needs to cancel his gig hosting the MTV International Awards. He has been offered a chance to shoot a commercial for The Boys & Girls Club. "I just can't turn down community service," he says, "because if I do, that judge'll make me join the Coast Guard." Jenna doesn't know why she didn't get the offer to host the international awards since her single "Choke Me, Choke Me, Teeheeheeheehee" is a smash hit in Japan. She has, however, gotten a very prestigious "Ice Cream for Life" card from the Carvel Corporation after performing (albeit a bit too seductively) on their Thanksgiving float the year prior. She sends Kenneth to get an ice cream cake for the crew -- mainly so one of the camera guys will stop boring her with anecdotes about his new baby.