By Lady Lola
Lemon prepares for the filming of her first Dealbreakers talk show and so leaves Frank in charge of the writers. After making sure the tech guys take down the computer firewall so they can watch lots o' porn, he starts turning into her. This mostly involves eating ham, losing his TEENAGE GRANDPA hat, developing a serious case of frizzy hair, and acting extra fussy. Meanwhile, Devin calls Jack from D.C. and warns him he must make Dealbreakers work or his ass is grass. Normally this task would be no problem, but Lemon herself is morphing into a crazy person, namely Jenna. Well, an Exorcist-style approximation of Jenna, but with a worse haircut. Lemon's freak-out pretty much destroys the show, but Jack manages to broker a deal that the opening titles will appear on Spanish-language soap operas any time a TV is playing in the background. No one is more relieved that Lemon is back to her old role than Frank, who nearly reached the apex of his transformation, stripey scarf included.
Elsewhere, Tracy decides he wants a baby girl, but Angie questions his commitment to fatherhood. In a convoluted twist, she challenges him to follow in the dreams of Philip Michael Thomas and win an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar and a Tony (EGOT). Only then will she give him a daughter. With the research and analysis of Grizz and Dot Com, Tracy determines that the secret to snagging the holy quadrity is to compose the best song ever. What follows is a truly dreadful mingling of mariachi, adult contempo, scat (courtesy of Jenna), cowbell (courtesy of Kenneth) and various other popular music styles. , he turns to EGOT-er Whoopi Goldberg, only to be caught creeping out the door with her trophies in hand. Ultimately, it's an impromptu R&B slow jam that does the trick. Angie resigns herelf to his deadbeat dad-ness as long as he's pursuing the EGOT.
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