By Lady Lola
It's audition day at TGS! Lemon and Pete have already picked their guy. His name is Jayden -- ugh. But they have to make sure Jack thinks he picked him, so they stack the deck in favor of Jayden. And then Lemon spoils everything when she remembers her days in the cattle call and gives Dot Com a pity audition. (To be fair, Dot Com does have a classical background.) Lemon's Achilles' heel foils the Hornberger System of Audition Manipulation, and immediately everyone from Frank to Brian Williams to Cathy Frickin' Geist lines up for a try-out.
Meanwhile, Jenna learns of the impending auditions and takes neurotic to a new level. And that's a new level in Jenna-speak, not by normal people terms. It's pretty astounding. She and Tracy scour the city for "talent" with which to flood Lemon, thereby creating a disaster scenario at the auditions.
Amidst all this, Jack contracts bed bugs. His new infirmity reduces him to begging for directions on the subway. (I know! Jack's on the subway!) Even a bum is all, "Keep your distance, mister." These new travails spark an epiphany in Jack about the dignity of the humble class. He shares this epiphany with Kenneth, who speaks fluent Latin, BTW.
When the day finally comes, it's a carnival of comic carnage. Ms. Geist earns my unconditional love by serving up a fierce, ram-like full-body butt to any competition, then executes a flawless SuBo impression -- the denouement of which, so we're told, was removing her knickers. A-MA-ZING. We also learn that Brian Williams best stick to his day job. Ultimately, Lemon's frontrunner turns out to be an actual maniac, but it's no matter because Jack hires the only auditioner who deigns to shake his hand. And who is a performing street robot. Versatility be damned! This is TGS.
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