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Among the many favorable qualities of the show 30 Rock is that they have no fear of absurdity. There is a warm, zany, 1970's madcap feel to every episode, and you can tell how much Tina Fey must have laughed at The Carol Burnett Show as a kid. Take away the show's penchant for the zany, and we would have never gotten to see Alec Baldwin in dual roles as Jack Donaghy and Spanish soap opera villain Generalissimo.
Lemon and Jack's storylines convene nicely in this episode. It starts when Lemon accidentally receives her new neighbor's mail, and she and Jenna illegally open it to find a divorce letter, lots of pet-rescue literature and a Netflix movie about how to make pie. Needless to say, the mail turns her on. Lemon takes one of the unopened pieces over to the new neighbor's apartment to try and find out more, and lo and behold, it's Jon Hamm! We all know Jon Hamm as Don Draper from Mad Men. If you don't know Jon Hamm, he looks like Brad Pitt's better-looking, smarter, older brother. What's more, he's a comic book nerd and has a sense of humor not at all commensurate with his ability to look better than 98% of people. Here, he plays Dr. Drew Baird, an animal shelter supporter and baking enthusiast. Confronted with this, Lemon "wants to go there," but how? Enter Jack's storyline.
Jack has another mother problem. This time though, it's not his own: Elisa's grandmother doesn't like Jack. The reasons are unclear but get far clearer when they turn on her favorite Telemundo soap opera in Jack's office, a show called Los Amantes Clandestines, which stars the villainous character The Generalissimo. The Generalissimo is over-the-top evil, making him almost as bad as Bernie Madoff, and is played by an actor, Hector Moreda, who looks exactly like Jack (but with a thin Latin 'stache). It's no wonder that Elisa's mom hates him and, by extension, Jack. Jack appreciates how important a Puerto Rican grandmother is to a Puerto Rican granddaughter, so he buys Telemundo and then orders Lemon to rewrite the script to kill off his doppelganger. Elisa will translate. She tells Lemon what makes the Generalissimo character so evil, as if the visual of him lighting dynamite taped to a young boy's head wasn't enough of a clue: apparently, he also opens other people's mail. Lemon retreats into shame, but when Elisa explains to her that the General opened the mail of a beautiful woman and then used the information to seduce her, Lemon becomes very intrigued. The day, she knocks on Dr. Drew's door (not Pinsky) and holds up a picture of a lost dog she got from an advertisement. She begs him to help her look. He, of course, goes to grab his coat immediately, and Lemon laughs maniacally.
Lemon and Dr. Drew then scour the neighborhood in search of Lemon's imaginary pet, Buster. She gives up rather easily and recommends they hit a wine bar around the corner, but Drew is hesitant. His divorce is still fresh, and he doesn't want to get too involved too quickly. Meanwhile, Los Amantes Clandestines is back on, and Jack phones Elisa to make sure her grandmother is watching. The episode has been rewritten to kill off the evil General, but when the actress points a gun at the General and shoots, Hector Moreda laughs it off. He's "gone Broken Arrow," ad-libbing lines and professing to have drank a potion that makes him immortal. It's just like Soapdish! Elisa's grandma sees Jack's name in the show credits and shakes her head in disapproval. Jack confronts Moreda in his dressing room at Telemundo studios, and it's a Patty Duke moment, minus an actual split screen. Moreda isn't about to forego the many perks he's been bestowed for playing the General on the soap opera. He even has a lucrative endorsement deal with Sabor de Soledad. He's an actor, and aren't all actors difficult? Moreda phones the President of Telemundo in protest but hangs up when he finds out it's Jack's office. "Well played." Jack tells Moreda about Elisa, and is offered a compromise. The Generalissimo character gets to stay put, but will seduce Elisa's grandmother by embodying everything that Hispanic women love. "It will be the performance of a lifetime."
Elisa hands off the translation of the latest Amantes Clandestines script to Liz, and she cut one scene from the script involving Generalissimo and a female character because of what he previously did to that character's daughter. Apparently, the General invited the daughter to his party, but when she arrived there was no party -- only him. The General then drugged her drink and had his way with her. Lemon has the idea to do the same thing to Dr. Drew, minus slipping him any drugs. Now is a good time to point out the third, more minor storyline involving Tracy. The banking crisis has led to new interns at 30 Rock, all from Wall Street. These new interns are hungry, white-collar preps who could get cast in almost any made-for-TV lacrosse date-rape movie. They take Tracy along for a night out, completely wearing him down, and the day he's a wreck, having accidently taken two roofies. The white boys and their party antics have wiped him clean. It's like he said in his not-hit comedy Cruise Boat: "I'm getting too old for this ship." He has to find something else for the interns to do before they ruin his reputation as a hard partier, thereby ruining his career as a comedian.
Dr. Drew shows up at Lemon's perfectly accented apartment for her non-party party. She feigns embarrassment at having invited him to her party on the wrong night and then quickly whisks him in. Then someone else knocks. It's Oswalt, who lives in the basement, where all the nails are, and he has Lemon's dog. Lemon is, of course, surprised. The dog yips and bites all night while Lemon makes the moves on the doctor. On the set of Amantes Clandestines, Generalissimo escorts a much older lady around his estate. He compliments her cooking and the photos of her grandchildren, and professes love for much older Puerto Rican women. Elisa's grandmother watches in complete approval. The seduction is working, as it is with Lemon. She and Drew eat fondue together. They sip wine, and touch hands on the couch. The dog is still barking. Generalissimo plays an acoustic guitar solo to the beautiful grandmother and takes her hand. Baldwin is doing some of his best work in this scene -- the perfect Latin lover, who is clearly Irish. He lifts her up in his arms and walks off-camera. Lemon and the doc are about to kiss when the dog interrupts. Lemon calls the dog a wang and then takes it into the other room. Drew complains of a headache and, as she is taking care of the dog, Lemon tells him he can grab an aspirin from her purse. Drew takes what he thinks is aspirin but is really the same roofie pills that Tracy got from the interns. (Lemon had previously confiscated them.) Drew falls to the floor, in front of Liz. He thinks she drugged her, and what's worse is that he falls into the pile of his opened mail. The dog runs in, still barking, and it occurs to Drew that it doesn't even belong to her. He crawls fearfully into the corner.
The day, Elisa's grandmother gives Jack a gift of breaded cow's brain. She's very proud that her Elisa is dating such an important television man. Then she asks him to change the news on NBC. "It's too sad." Drew stops by Lemon's apartment to give her mail that was accidentally delivered to him this time. He opened all of it, including the cheese-of-the-month club newsletter, the steak-of-the-month newsletter and the Netflix movie Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl. Based on the mail, he would have wanted to meet Liz. She gives a full mea culpa, and asks if they could start over again. "Weirder things have happened, right?" Then weirder things do happen, on her television. She and Drew watch Matt Lauer on the Today Show report about Tracy Jordan's purchase of Lehman Brothers. The interns have a new job. Lauer transitions from that story into a montage of beautiful Latin babies to the music of Tito Puente, and we hear him complain to an off-screen Jack. Drew is convinced. He tells Liz, "It's a date." The apartment door closes, and a door to love opens?
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see why vlogger Sean Crespo thinks 30 Rock should emulate Cheers in No Prior Knowledge!
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Obviously, you can't like everyone. Some people deserve to not be liked, and other people just look like they deserve it. Case in point: I'm not a big fan of my upstairs neighbor because of his very severe facial features, but then I really don't like my downstairs neighbor because she smokes crack in the hallway. So there's reality, and then there's reality. As far as I'm concerned, the young man handing Liz Lemon a folder of White House research in the opening scene of tonight's episode fits either category. He looks like, and probably is, a tool. He's the Michael Rapaport of this scene. The Matsuflex of scene one, if you will. After handing her the research, he walks back over to three more of the unlikeable sort to exchange high-fives. Jack explains it to Lemon: these four guys are the new interns. They're also casualties from the bank collapse on Wall St. I knew it! Total tools. There are no worse humans today than in banking. Terrorists and Nazis are the only two worse groups of people to be counted among. Speaking of banking, it's online now. Did you know that? Jack explains to Liz, "They've got zero real-world skills, but God, they work hard." He tells them to run out and buy him flowers, bath soaps and Spanish-language gossip magazines. No, not to use as props on the set of the South American version of The Bachelor. Elisa and her grandmother are visiting, and Jack is doing all he can to impress Elisa's abuela (Spanish for grandmother). He suspects that abuela doesn't like him. CUT TO: A flashback of them sitting together on a couch. Abuela tells Jack in Spanish that she hates him. The fall from the Tower of Babel was an immense one.
Lemon joins Jenna in the break room with a heap of mail that doesn't belong to her. It belongs to her neighbor Dr. Andrew Baird, and Jenna picks through it, drawing several conclusions along the way. He has a letter from a divorce lawyer: single. There is an issue of Golf Magazine: not gay, and not poor. There are also Netflix movies in the pile, and they come Lemon-approved: Muppets Take Manhattan, Caddyshack and a documentary about how pies are made. I know that movie. Netflix recommended it after I queued a movie about how sausages are made (that was not a good movie).
Jack walks Elisa and her abuela into his office, and now nona wants to watch her stories. (Translation: Elisa's grandmother wants to watch her soap opera.) It's a telenovela called Los Amantes Clandestines, and its star is the very evil Generalissimo, played by actor Hector Moreda (played, in turn, by an evil Alec Baldwin). We get a glimpse of the Generalissimo on screen. He takes off his gloves and uses them to slap a groveling man eight times in the face. Jack notices the resemblance straight away. "He looks just like me," he says as the evil Generalissimo peers into the camera. Elisa's grandmother turns around to peer at Jack. I peer at Generalissimo's spray tan. My cat peers at Jack's slightly less-noticeable spray tan. Cue the introduction.
In Which We Spellz Out of Tune
The interns find Tracy during work. All of them are big fans, and they're going out after work, saying, "We'd be honored if you come with?" Tracy agrees to join them, but not without playing grammar cop. He carefully reminds them not to end a sentence with a preposition. Huh. I didn't know that. Hold on a second. Is that why my sentences keep melting? Knows wonderz. I can has cheezburger?
Lemon knocks on Dr. Baird's door, hoping upon hope that the good doctor will be a hunk. Then a man with what appears to be a slight palsy answers the door. "Ah, girl," he yelps. Lemon is caught off-balance until the real Dr. Baird walks into the scene. The handsome doctor, played by the handsome Jon Hamm (>Is his middle name "honey-baked"?), introduces Liz to Oswalt, their neighbor from the basement. Dr. Baird apologizes for smelling like frosting: "I love to bake." Cue the dreamy music, the ringing bells and Lemon blurting out her adored catchphrase: "This honky Grandma be trippin'!" Wait, that's not... "I want to go to there." That's it.
Jack is dis-invited to one of Elisa's family gatherings because of abuela's transference issues. He hangs up the phone and mutters "Generalissimo" under his knowing breath. Back at 30 Rock, Lemon is showing Jenna an iPhone picture of the handsome doctor -- she told him she wanted to show his haircut to her barber -- and admits to having accidentally received, and then opened, more of his mail. I must say, quite an epic FAIL by the Post Office. According to his mail, Dr. Baird donates to several charities, watches more movies than Harry Knowles and trains seeing eye dogs. Jenna reminds Lemon she's allergic to dogs. Tracy approaches wearing sunglasses because of an exceptional hangover, acquired on his night out with the interns: "Those white boys are not kidding around." Tracy is worn out. He's met his match, as it pertains to partying. Junior investment banker frat boys have not just ruined the economy; they've ruined Tracy Jordan. Much the same way they fed the banking system toxic loans by leveraging subprime mortgages until its inevitable collapse, the interns fed Tracy Scotch, hockey games and roofies all night long. They walk past him in the hallway, each holding two cups of coffee, and make plans for later that night. Tracy hastily agrees -- he has to agree, or he'll lose his reputation as a hard-partying animal. Then the roofies crash him to the floor, not unlike our stock market due to bank regulatory problems. Did you know you can bank online?
How to Seduce a Recipient, if You Carry Mail
Jack and Elisa watch an episode of Los Amantes Clandestines in which Generalissimo cheats at a duel and shoots a man in the back. Lemon joins them in Jack's office. It's her first time meeting Elisa: "C'mon, you're a nurse?" "Yeah, some of us are hot," explains Elisa, and then Jack shows Lemon his evil doppelganger on the TV. He explains his abuela problemo. To remedy the situation, Jack bought Telemundo, the station that airs Los Amantes Clandestines, and now he wants Lemon to write a script that will kill off the Generalissimo character once and for all. "Elisa will help you with the Spanish," he says to reassure her. Lemon protests. She's never even watched the show, but Elisa explains the only piece of information Lemon requires: Generalissimo is a swine. On television is a scene between Generalissimo and a young lady. He steals the young lady's mail and uses it to trick her into giving up her honor to him. Generalissimo reads her mail -- her most intimate secrets -- and turns himself into the perfect object of her desire. "What she loved, he pretended to love, too," explains Elisa. Interesting. I find this very interesting. I never thought of the mail as being this variety of a privacy issue. So ladies, I'm only going to give you this avenue to my body once. I've got a stack of my personal mail in my lap. If you have designs on seducing me, welcome to your roadmap:
Invite me to a complimentary Internet marketing conference, or offer to refinance something that I don't own. Further entice the offer with a mystery gift (value of $60). When we meet, accidentally drop a $10 coupon for electronic equipment or home buys at Target from your purse. Soon, we'll be going back to your place. When you have me on the bed, remind me to update the credit card information for my subscription to The New Yorker, and when my shirt is (finally) off, threaten to cut off my electricity unless I pay off my full utility balance or sign a three-month payment agreement. Be very rigid about it, too. It's a turn-on.
Lemon takes Generalissimo's seduction method to heart. The day she knocks on the doctor's door and holds up a "Missing" sign for her pretend dog Buster. The doctor goes to grab his coat, and Lemon belts out an evil Spanish soap-star laugh. Doc, you've just been Generalissimo'd. (I just wrote that.) In the scene, Lemon and the doc walk along a tree-lined street in Manhattan. It looks like Carrie Bradshaw's block. They're yelling for Buster and handing out the "Missing" flyers to people. Lemon is laying it on thick. Her words quiver, as if unbalanced by tears, and she gamely establishes her "out" from all of this: "If we don't find Buster, I don't think I can be around dogs again." She takes her jacket off to reveal a 10K Benefit for Pediatric Restless Leg Syndrome Association T-shirt. It just so happens that Dr. Baird is on the association's board. Lemon takes the opportunity to suggest that they go look for Buster at a wine bar around the corner. It's the full courtship press, but the doctor begs off. He tells Lemon about his divorce. "I'm really not ready for this kind of thing just yet. Plus, I have not given up on that dog. He's a fighter. Buster!" Meanwhile, at the opposite of a wine bar, Tracy and the four interns do shots. The drinks are one part alcohol, two parts fire, but Tracy grins and bears it. "I'm Tracy Jordan. Why would I be afraid of fire to my mouth?"
In Which We Meet the Cast of Los Amantes Clandestines
Los Amantes is on! The actors take quick turns towards the camera. Actress Juanita Gomez is holding a statute of the Virgin Mary. Actress Roberta Pino is in the role of Mexican lady. Then it's Adolfo Dorita's turn to turn. Here's a little fake "fake soap opera" trivia for you: Dorita is a nine-time loser of Best Supporting Disheveled Migrant Worker at the Latin American TV y Novela Awards. He's also always in pain. Jack is on the phone with Elisa, and asks if abuela is watching. Of course she is, and she has been told by Elisa that tonight will be a very special episode. Pedophilia? No. In tonight's episode, the actress Juanita Gomez sneaks into Generalissimo's home with a gun. "This is for my father," she tells him in Spanish, and then she shoots the General! She shoots him again! Why is he not falling? He laughs and says she missed, and back at 30 Rock Jack mutters to Elisa that Hector Moreda is off script. The Generalissimo drinks from the brandy snifter in his hand and then tells his failed murderess that it's a potion for eternal life. Abuela clutches her cane, and when Jack's name appears in the end credits, she shakes her head very disapprovingly. Afterwards, Jack finds Moreda in his dressing room and demands to know why he changed the script. The answer is to be expected. Moreda has been in the role of Generalissimo for years. It's brought him fame, wealth and an endorsement deal with Sabor de Soledad. "I am not going to let you take that away from me," says Moreda, and then he phones the President of Telemundo in protest. Of course, it's Jack's officina. "Well played," says Moreda. It would appear as if Moreda is a Latin lover with no sexy recourse, but then Jack explains his motives: that his girlfriend's grandmother hates the Generalissimo character, and therefore, vis-à-vis, him. Ding! Moreda has a seduction idea. (A seduction idea!) He tells Jack that he will re-create his Generalissimo character so that it embodies everything an old Hispanic woman desires. He will make Elisa's grandmother love him, and therefore, vis-à-vis, Jack. Ding!
Elisa gives Lemon the translated script of the episode of Los Amantes. "I took out all the Star Wars references." She also cut out a scene between the General and a woman because of what the General had already done to the woman's daughter. In a episode, Generalissimo tricked the girl to his villa under the false pretense that he was throwing a fancy party, but when she arrived, no one but the General was present. He drugged her champagne and had his way with her. Lemon gets it in her head to do the same thing to Dr. Baird, minus the drugs. She'll invite him to her apartment for a fancy party, only on the wrong day. By then it will be too late. She'll offer him some wine. They'll laugh, and then she'll put her mouth on his mouth. It's adorable how much Liz can care less about adopting a baby from episode to episode.
Tracy is in his dressing room with a cold compress on his forehead. He complains to Kenneth about the interns. "It's like I said in my not-hit comedy Cruise Boat: I'm getting too old for this ship." Kenneth tells him to stop going out to parties with these younger, higher-tolerance men, but Tracy is thinking of his career. If he stops hanging out with them it's like admitting he's gotten old, and the admission would be death to his comedy career. "Do you know what happens to a comedian when he gets old and loses his audience? He starts to get offered serious roles, and do you really want to see me play Arthur Ashe?" Even the thought of it runs a cold chill up Kenneth Parcell's spine. Tracy says he has to find a way to get rid of the interns. Despite the fact that they don't know how to do anything, he will find them something else to do.
"Back at...", "Meanwhile..." and Other Interesting Ways to Spell Out a Transition
Lemon greets Dr. Baird at the door, and explains that the party is tomorrow night. Tonight it's just her, the one-strap black evening gown she's wearing, scented candles and fondue. And now Dr. Baird. Liz invites him in, but before she can close the door, Oswalt from downstairs shows up with a dog in his hands. It's Buster, apparently. The dog snaps at Lemon and she tells him to drop it inside the door and scram. Meanwhile, on the set of Los Amantes, Generalissimo is giving an older-looking Hispanic woman a tour of his villa. "Later, I will fulfill my dream of making love to an older Puerto Rican woman," he tells her, and then compliments her on the pictures of her grandchildren. Back at Lemon's apartment, she and Dr. Baird feed each other fondue. Too hot. Meanwhile, at the taping of Los Amantes, Generalissimo admires still more pictures of the older woman's grandchildren, as Elisa's abuela watches with breathless regard. Back at Lemon's place, she and Dr. Baird flirt on the couch like it's Scream 2. Meanwhile, Generalissimo is watching his older, Hispanic version of Maude scratch off lottery tickets. Dr. Drew offers to get Lemon more wine back at the apartment. When he turns, she goes to kick the barking dog away. Meanwhile, Generalissimo plays an acoustic guitar for his enraptured audience. He tosses the guitar aside and approaches her. At the same time, Lemon and Dr. Baird approach one another, and when Generalissimo lifts the old woman off her feet to carry her away, Lemon and the doctor's impending kiss is interrupted by Buster the barking dog. Lemon grabs the pooch and takes it into the other room, and while she's doing that Dr. Baird complains of a headache. She tells him to dig in her purse for aspirin, and, as she and the dog carry on a fight slightly less aggressive-sounding than the one in There's Something About Mary, Dr. Baird mistakes the bottle of roofie pills Tracy got from the interns for headache pills, and takes one. When Lemon makes it back to the living room, he collapses to the floor. She sees the pills: "You've been roofied!" "You did what?" asks a confused Dr. Baird. Then he sees a pile of his opened mail on the floor to him. The dog runs back into the room and barks at Liz. Suddenly the doctor realizes that it isn't really Lemon's dog. It's a moment out of Misery. She yells at the doctor to relax. A lampshade falls on his head. The poor doc is terrified. "I had to be Generalissimo," says Lemon. "I don't know what that means," he retorts.
The day in Jack's office, Elisa and abuela stop in to offer him breaded calves brains. Abuela absolutely loves Jack now. She kisses him on the cheek and says, "What are you going to do about the NBC News? It's too sad." Back at Lemon's apartment, Dr. Baird is at the door. He has some of Liz's misplaced mail, and, of course, has opened it. There's a Monty Python movie, a letter from the Cheese of the Month Club, another from the Steak of the Month Club, and a copy of Vegetarian Times. If given the chance, he says he probably would have liked the woman behind this mail. Lemon gives a full mea culpa and asks for a second chance. "I know that I lied to you, and I accidentally roofied you, but weirder things have happened." To her good fortune, weirder things do happen, on her TV. The Today Show is reporting that actor Tracy Jordan has bought and reopened the investment bank Lehman Brothers. At his press conference Tracy tells the media, "I'm doing this so no one will know I'm getting old." (When the irony of that statement is pointed out to him, he declares the press conference over.) That news segment is followed by a montage of Latin babies set to the music of Tito Puente. "Okay," concedes the doctor. "It's a date."
A Bi-Partisan Sharing of the Blame
Jack: "They were bankers laid off after that economic crash that Nancy Pelosi caused."
Why There Should Be a Podiatrist Superhero
Jenna: "He's a pediatrician, so you know he likes kids. Or is it feet? No, no -- kids."
Remember the Last Scene in Boogie Nights?
Jack: "Wasn't that a treat? Only the special tours get to see Conan without his wig."
It's Because You're Human
Jack: "It's because I'm white."
Elisa: "No. I've had white boyfriends, black, Cuban, Brazilian guys with German heritage..."
Jack: "I get it. You've been with other men. Congratulations."
Attention, Class: Grammar! Sharp Ruler!
Brian the Intern: "We'd be honored if you come with."
Tracy: "You shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition, at."
Of Course You Do
Oswalt: "I live in the basement, so I have all the nails."
...Let Alone the Cousin with the Panic Room
Elisa: "I don't think you should come to my cousin's police academy graduation, or my other cousin's parole party. I hope those two don't eventually have a showdown that pits family against justice."
It's Friday Night in West Virginia
Kenneth: "Mr. Jordan's a little hung-over. He pulled an Uncle Harlan Parcell last night, minus the jug blowing."
Twice-Distilled Regret
Tracy: "Have you ever tasted Scotch? It's terrible! And this thing they call 'box seats at the Rangers game.' It's so cold!"
Silent Comedy Award
Generalissimo lighting a stick of dynamite taped onto a boy's head.
He's Dead, Buster
Lemon: "Well, Buster's probably dead. Do you want to go to the wine bar around the corner? Deal with these emotions? Get some dinner?"
What I'm Saying the Time I Order Griddle Cakes at a Denny's
Jack: "Moreda has gone Broken Arrow."
Paul Lynde Gay
Generalissimo: "It will be the performance of a lifetime. Like Julia Harris in The Belle of Amherst."
Jack: "Wow. You are surprisingly gay."
Week On Chuck
Elisa: "Later, she gave birth to the devil. You know, sweeps week."
Danny Glover
Tracy: "It's like I said in my not-hit comedy Cruise Boat: I'm getting too old for this ship."
I'd Like a Hamburger and a Small Order of French Fryers
Generalissimo: "After you scratch off these lottery tickets, can we go to McDonald's and order only coffee?"
Grammar Cop is Taped In Front of a Live Studio Audience
Dr. Baird: "Also, a response to your complaint about bad grammar in subway ads."
Lemon: "The word 'whom' deserves a defender."
FAIL
Matt Lauer: "And now to lighten things up, some pictures of beautiful Latin babies and the music of Tito Puente."
No-Prize Award Winner
C'mon, it's Baldwin. When is it not Baldwin?
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see why vlogger Sean Crespo thinks 30 Rock should emulate Cheers in No Prior Knowledge!