In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
Logan's under house arrest at Not Camp David, and that's where Kiefer finds him. Logan claims that he can help find Gredenko through the Russian Consul in L.A., but only if he and Kiefer go in person and Logan threatens to expose the Consul's involvement in last season's conspiracy. Kiefer persuades Wayne to let his brother's assassin out for the evening, and then he and Logan spend the rest of the episode getting dressed. Off-camera, that is, and in separate rooms. In other developments, everyone at CTU is suspicious and distrustful of Morris -- no one more than Chloe, who even storms in on him in the men's room. Morris guilts her about it, and then secretly pours out the rest of that whisky bottle he had all along. We learn that the "delivery systems" for the nukes discussed by Fayed and Gredenko are U.S. drone planes, which are now in Gredenko's hands. And at the White House Bunker, Chad Lowe's single co-conspirator uses the steam pipe trunk distribution venue as a secret president-killing bomb assembly venue. Chad Lowe plants the bomb behind Wayne's podium before a rehearsal of Assad's address, but in the seconds before it goes off, Assad notices the dripping chemicals and shouts a warning. Still, after the explosion, Assad's down and Wayne's down. To be honest, it's not looking too great for Tom, either. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Fayed's panel truck with the suitcase nukes in the back drives down a remote dirt road. Fayed's also in the back with the payload. He's going to be so pissed if they hit a pothole and all three of them go off. He's on his cell phone with Gredenko, telling him he's on his way to the rendezvous point at which Gredenko has already arrived. It's an airplane junkyard that looks a lot like the bone yard from Con Air. Gredenko says that the "shipment" is behind schedule but should arrive at any moment. Fayed asks how long it'll take to deploy after that point. Gredenko tells him they'll need two hours for assembly and diagnostics, and another hour to attach the payload. Although he doesn't suggest that Fayed make use of the extra time to stop off for a beer. Fayed starts to bitch that this schedule puts us at, like, the end of March in terms of episodes, but Gredenko just tells him to stay frosty, and hangs up on him. "I'll be glad when we no longer have to deal with these people," Gredenko tells his tech guy. The tech guy sees that and raises him an "I'd rather be fighting them." Gredenko says that if things work out today, the Arabs and the West will destroy each other. Is that supposed to make me feel sorry for Fayed?
Down in the White House Bunker's Battle Bridge, Wayne's secretary Melinda tells Wayne that the ambassador from this morning has arrived and is ready for another meeting. Wayne asks Melinda if Tom will be joining them. Tom is of course still tied to one of the components of the steam pipe trunk distribution venue with duct tape on his mouth, but because Melinda doesn't know that, she relays whatever excuse Chad Lowe made up for Tom's temporary absence. Wayne greets the arriving ambassador, who begins by expressing his sincerest-seeming condolences about this morning's attacks, and offers his country's help. Wayne says that's why the ambassador is here, and leads him the conference room where Assad is waiting. The ambassador doesn't seem to appreciate being ambushed like this, and isn't happy to be in a room with a guy who organized terrorist attacks on his country. Dude, your country, as far as I can tell, is the entire Middle East. Try not to take it so personal. Assad looks like he's about to get into it with the guy, who points out, "My own deputy lost his seven-year-old son in one of your bombings." Huh, he was a lot more pro-Assad earlier today, before he actually met the guy. Wayne interrupts and tells them to play nice. He asks Assad to excuse them, and Assad leaves the room with his Secret Service escort in tow, having already served Wayne's purpose of blindsiding the ambassador with his presence. Wayne turns to the ambassador and explains why Assad is there, and about the remaining three nukes. The ambassador gets less grumpy in a hurry, because of course he's in this country, too. Wayne gives the ambassador his own copy of Assad's address to look over, and the ambassador admits that it just might work. Wayne asks the ambassador to have Mideastia's Prime Minister issue a statement supporting Assad. The Ambassador worries about the political risks of such a move, so Wayne advises him to worry instead about the more tangible risks of how pissed off the U.S. carrier group currently stationed off the Mideast-ian coast will be if there's another nuclear attack in the States. Wayne threatens, "Neither the Prime Minister nor I have the luxury of worrying about political consequences on a day like today....Get on the phone and make this happen. Oh, and this thing I'm handing you? That's your ass." I'm paraphrasing at the end there. Wayne's Secretary of State is going to be so annoyed when he gets back from vacation.
At CTU, Nadia reports to Buchanan that not only is Gredenko gone from the address Marilyn provided, but he left very few clues at his safe house. All the CTU field team found is one operating land line, which Morris is currently checking on. They holler over to Morris to ask how that's going, and Morris stammers that he doesn't have anything yet. He says that he's having some technobabble issues, but we're supposed to wonder if he's still just trying not to lose his shit. Before they can pursue that, Kiefer calls in. He tells Buchanan at 4:07:23 that he's across the street from the Grandmont Hotel. Buchanan asks Kiefer what's going on. Kiefer says that it's complicated, and asks Buchanan to have LAPD set up a five-block perimeter around the hotel to find and nab his father. I'm going to tell you right now, in case you haven't by now got the memo that "perimeter" on this show might as well mean "Atlantis" or "unicorn," that we won't be seeing Dad in this episode, if ever again. Buchanan's surprised to hear that Dad's involved in all this. I'm surprised that whatever Kiefer's reasons were for not sharing this information for the last hour, we'll probably never find out. Actually, I'm okay with that. "I'll debrief you as soon as we've got time," says Kiefer. And when he's not out of breath from taking the stairs all the way from the roof to ground level again. Seriously, what the hell is up with his sudden elevator aversion? If I did twenty-odd flights twice in a row I'd be wrecked for the rest of the day. Kiefer asks how CTU is doing on Gredenko, and when he hears that they're sucking wind, he says he might have a new lead in the form of Charles Logan. He asks Buchanan for a helicopter to wherever Logan is. Buchanan says that Logan is under house arrest at good old Not Camp David. Kiefer angrily asks how one of the people behind David Palmer's assassination got such a light punishment. Buchanan exposits that Logan pled out on obstruction of justice charges, and that the public never found out about his involvement with the terrorists or Palmer's assassination. "Give me that helicopter," Kiefer growls, and Buchanan says that one will be there in a few minutes. Like Kiefer's not pissed enough to just grab one out of the air right now.
Kiefer has now reached the plaza outside the building, where he finds Marilyn and Josh together. Marilyn asks him what happened, and he says that Dad escaped and he wants them to go back to CTU. To Josh, Kiefer promises to sit down and talk over everything that happened when this is all over. You know, just like he did with little whatshisname last season. Josh doesn't know about that, so he buys it. Kiefer walks them to a waiting CTUmobile, and tells the agent to schlep them back to CTU. As they pile into the car, Marilyn once again expresses her heartfelt thanks to Kiefer for saving her son. Kiefer cracks a small smile and says that Josh reminds him of Marilyn. "You can see it in his eyes," he says, touching the side of Marilyn's face. The moment stretches out, until Kiefer tells her, "Marilyn, please, you have to go." Dude, maybe she was waiting for you to let go of her head. The CTUmobile starts up and drives off. And then Kiefer smacks himself on the forehead and starts running after it, because he forgot to ask Marilyn for his gun back. Okay, he doesn't, but he should.
Chad Lowe is accompanying Carson, his co-conspirator from a few episodes ago, through the security checkpoint down in the White House Bunker. Let us count the levels at which this is bullshit: (1) This is not a 311 concert. This is the fucking White House Bunker. By definition, it is one of the most secure locations in the world. Another really secure location, I would think, is the building immediately above it, which is probably fairly tough to get weapons or bombs into in the first place unless the President wants you to. (2) You want to check people again when they go from the White House down into the Bunker? Fine. Put the security checkpoint at the top of the elevator. Or, at the very least, on the other side of the giant steel door. (3) In all of this season so far, and all of Season 4, this is the first time we've ever seen a security checkpoint in the Bunker, so it was obviously added for this scene. (4) It's not so much a security checkpoint as a security alcove. This poor lone guard is sitting behind a desk with his back to a dead end in the hallway while foot traffic flows from side to side in front of him, treating the security desk like it's pretty much optional. If he wants to check someone who doesn't want to be checked, he'll have to go around his desk and chase him or her down. But the point of this scene is to demonstrate how Carson gets into the Bunker with the means to kill Wayne, so we have no choice but to proceed. The Secret Service agent at the desk checks the contents of Carson's briefcase very thoroughly, making sure that the highlighters highlight and the tape recorder records, and a moment later Carson and Chad Lowe are continuing down the hallway that they could have continued down anyway. Chad Lowe pedeconferences that Tom tried to warn Secret Service, but was able to stop him in time. He adds, "Either he's changed his mind, or you were right and he's been playing us all along. Either way, we're going to have to deal with it." Well, since this entire conspiracy apparently consists of only two people, that might turn out to be a bit tricky.
Back in the steam pipe trunk distribution venue, Tom is struggling with the duct tape that's binding his hands behind his back and around a pipe. Not that it's getting him anywhere. Chad Lowe and Carson enter, and the latter adds insult to injury by saying Tom's in the space where Carson needs to work. Tom's day just keeps getting worse. He gets thwarted by the president, gets approached to take part in an assassination conspiracy, is Maglited into unconsciousness and duct-taped to a pipe, and now they tell him he's in the way. Tom is quickly cut loose and dragged him over to a different pipe, where they retape him sitting on the floor. Carson just wants to go ahead and kill Tom now, but Chad Lowe says that while killing Palmer is for the good of the country, killing Tom would only be murder. He thinks that Tom will keep quiet once the Veep is in power and Tom's ideas are put in motion, but Carson doesn't want to take the risk. "We're not cold-blooded murderers. We're just trying to save out country," Chad Lowe Brutuses. And look how well that worked out for him. For now, though, Chad Lowe says that they have to get moving, since Assad is going on the air this hour and it's going to take twenty-five to thirty minutes to assemble the bomb: "If we're going to frame Assad for the assassination, then this bomb has to explode when they're both together." But what fun is it to frame a dead guy? It's 4:12:32.
At 4:16:55, Chad Lowe is taking a moment in his office to send a few emails on his boss's behalf in order to conceal Tom's absence. It's only partially successful, though; as soon as Chad Lowe goes out in the hallway, Wayne's pint-sized secretary Melinda accosts him and asks where some stuff is that she's expecting from Tom. Chad Lowe says that it's on its way via email. He starts to walk off, but hurries back when Melinda asks whether Tom's in his office. Chad Lowe lies that Tom's in Conference Room B. All rules of television physics state that this means Melinda was just in Conference Room B herself, and this is no exception. She says that the Secret Service is meeting there. Wait, should she be telling people that? Kind of takes the "Secret" out of it. Chad Lowe says that they must have switched rooms, and offers to track down Tom for her. He walks away, rolling his eyes at himself and how much he sucks. Jeez, Chad Lowe, how hard is it to conceal the fact that the White House Chief of Staff is missing inside the White House Bunker, anyway?
At CTU, Morris is either scowling very hard at his monitor, or is attempting to type with his eyebrows. Either way, he's not having much success. Sensing his frustration from across the room (because she is nothing if not exquisitely tuned in to the emotional nuances of others), Chloe comes over and asks Morris what's up. He states his technobabble problem, and she quickly gives him her technobabble solution. "Oh, what an idiot," Morris says to himself, and thanks Chloe for her help. She doesn't leave, though, because she wants to ask if he called his sponsor. Morris is a little grumpy about the question, but he tells her, "We had this long talk. I feel a lot better. Really." I think he's kidding about the long talk, since he hasn't been offscreen for more than ten minutes in a row since his slip. But he seems to be serious, and Chloe buys it. Mostly. That's not enough for Morris, who sarcastically offers to install a breathalyzer at his workstation. Dude, dial back the attitude. You're the one who walked into the Situation Room smelling like Lynchburg, Virginia. Chloe says that she just wants to be sure he's okay. Morris: "I helped terrorists arm a nuclear bomb today. I'm not going to be okay for a long time. That doesn't mean to say I can't do my job." And then he stomps off to do his technobabbling elsewhere.
Morris left his PDA behind, though, and at 4:19:02, Chloe grabs it and pulls up an entry for "JEANNIE T - AA SPONSOR," complete with phone number. Does Chloe not know what that second A stands for? ["Also, ER told me that mixed-sex sponsor/sponsee pairings are not advised." -- Wing Chun] Chloe's still writing down the number when Nadia finds her there and asks where Morris is. She grumps that he's supposed to be working on Gredenko's land line, and Chloe says that "he's juggling a lot right now." Including, of course, a hidden fifth of whisky (spoiler!). Chloe says that they're shorthanded, especially since Milo has once again vanished without explanation and will likely not be seen again until Season 11 (and with that phrase, the future ghost of my forty-two-year-old self begins screaming). Nadia is more concerned that Morris is having issues. "He's been tortured," she reminds us, like people don't get over that in an hour or so on this show, and suggests that Morris be pulled. Chloe says that they still need him. Buchanan glances over at this little tête-à-tête from the Situation Room, as Nadia says that she'll be keeping her eye on Morris and plans to go to Buchanan if she sees a problem. "Fine," Chloe snits, and goes back to spying on her ex-husband her own self. She dials her cell phone, gets the voicemail for Jeannie T, and leaves a message asking her to call back. Except that she leaves that same 310 number Dad left for Kiefer, which means that Jeannie's about to be very surprised to be talking to former president Charles Logan. After a shock like that, she's going to need a stiff drink.
Buchanan goes over to Nadia to tell her that Kiefer should be arriving at Not Camp David any moment, and to have her get the TAC teams ready for redeployment. "We're out of leads," he adds, stating the stakes for the episode, which is pretty much all he ever gets to do anymore. "Let's hope Jack can get something from Logan."
Meanwhile, Kiefer has already landed in one of Not Camp David's familiar pastures, and is jogging across the grass at 4:20:37. Logan is standing there waiting for him at the entrance to the stables, his bearded mouth flopping open and closed like that of an impeached fish. Kiefer asks the Secret Service agents flanking Logan for a moment alone with the ex-prez, and they give him one because they don't want to get tasered.
Kiefer and Logan amble slowly through the stable as Logan opens with a remark about Kiefer's father that he probably intends to sound empathetic but only comes off smug. Kiefer cuts off that line of conversation and asks what Logan knows about Dmitri Gredenko. Logan knows the season's whole story so far: "I get regular intelligence updates. And I still have my sources." Kiefer asks if Logan can help find Gredenko. "Yes, I can," Logan says, and then stops talking. Which just pisses Kiefer off even more, because he figures that Logan wants a plea bargain in exchange for helping his country. But Logan assures Kiefer that he's not the same man he was two years ago. "Just as you're not the same man who was dragged away and thrown into a Chinese prison," he adds, again going for empathetic and landing on smug. I'm going to need a shorthand for that, I can tell already. He says he's changed, and has "had time to reconnect with [his] faith." He says he doesn't want a pardon and wouldn't accept one anyway. Not much danger of that, considering who's president these days. Kiefer asks what Logan does want, and Logan says that he only wants to give Kiefer the info he has. What's he waiting for, then? After wasting all this time talking about what he doesn't want, Logan finally says that he can help find Gredenko through Anatoly Markov, the Russian Consul in Los Angeles. Kiefer's off again, saying that they already tried that as soon as Gredenko's name came up, but Logan insists that Markov is lying. Kiefer has no sooner whipped out his cell phone than Logan advises him to avoid official channels. The Russian government won't help, so Kiefer needs to use back channels instead. "Me," Logan specifies. Wait, did this conversation just get dirty? Logan offers to talk to Markov in person. Kiefer asks why Markov would talk to Logan, and Logan says that he has leverage: "Markov was involved in the conspiracy that put me here." Oh, who wasn't, at this point? Logan offers to hold the threat of exposure over Markov's head to secure his cooperation, in other words. I see no reason why this wouldn't work. Unless the Russian Consul has some kind of diplomatic immunity or something, but what are the chances of that? Kiefer steps right into Logan's face and whispers, "I don't trust you." Logan doesn't flinch, which is remarkable in itself, because he flinches when he's happy, for God's sake. He suggests that Kiefer start. Kiefer's going to need a moment. It's 4:23:38.
Moment over. By the time the commercials are over, it's 4:28:03 and Kiefer has come around on Logan's proposal. Moreover, he's already gotten through to Wayne on his cell phone. Now inside the house at Not Camp David -- while Logan piously crosses the floor in the background with Bible in hand -- Kiefer breaks the news to Wayne that their newest lead to Gredenko is Charles Logan. Wayne doesn't take this news well at all, which is kind of understandable given Logan's role in Wayne's brother's death. Especially when Kiefer asks Wayne for an executive order granting Logan a temporary furlough. Wayne says that he doesn't trust Logan, and thinks this might be part of an escape plan. Kiefer understands, but says that they need to take a chance and even offers to accompany Logan into the Consulate as part of his security detail. "Part of"? Sounds like Kiefer's crisis of confidence is still in effect. He tells Wayne that he thinks Logan's after something besides freedom: "Redemption." Wayne couldn't be less on board with that. But Kiefer insists that it's the only way to find the nukes. I love how everyone seems to just assume that Gredenko knows where the nukes are now, just because he supplied them to Fayed initially. I mean, they're right, but it would be kind of awesome if they finally found Gredenko after all this and he was like, "Yeah, I'd like to know where Fayed is, too. Fucker owes me $60 million."
Anyway, Wayne wants to talk to Logan directly before making his decision. Kiefer hands Logan the phone at 4:29:43. "Hello, Mr. President," says Logan. I have to say, I expected him to use Wayne's first name there. Wayne tells Logan to explain why he should release him. Logan reiterates that he and Markov have a prior relationship: "With due respect, sir, I have more experience dealing with people of Markov's character." Wayne bluntly asks, "You mean criminals like yourself?" Logan is like, "Yeah, pretty much," only he uses more words. He assures Wayne that he has no plans to escape custody and reminds him, "Several years ago I was in the same situation and I reached out to your brother for counsel. David helped me successfully navigate that crisis." Yes, I believe he "played a role." Wayne reminds Logan, "You repaid him by killing him." Logan offers to do for Wayne what David did for Logan. What's that, die? With tears in his eyes that belie the anger in his voice, Wayne says that this doesn't indicate any kind of forgiveness for Logan. Logan understands, but he can't just let it go there, and says he hopes to earn Wayne's forgiveness over time. Don't hold your breath, Chuck. Wait, actually? Do. Wayne asks to talk to Kiefer again, and Logan hands the phone back. Wayne gives Kiefer his way and tells him, "Make it count."
After Kiefer hangs up, Logan says it must not be easy for Kiefer to deal with "the possibility that [Logan] may not be the same man [Kiefer] hated for so long." Empathetic~smug again. Even if Logan is a different person than he was before, Kiefer looks like he's fine with hating both of them.
At 4:31:44, a flatbed truck arrives at the rendezvous point where Gredenko is waiting. A guy with an Austrian accent gets out and greets Gredenko, explaining that they're late because they had to bypass a vehicle inspection in Riverside, which is why they're late. And also because the writers are already worried about what's going to happen for the rest of the season if the nukes get deployed on schedule in Episode 14. Gredenko wants to look at the payload. Going around to the side of the truck, they open one of several large wooden crates to reveal a gray, curvy shape. Because I can't tell what it is, the Austrian helpfully explains, "The U.S. military has spent millions to develop these drones." And then let some terrorists drive off with them. Thanks, U.S. military! I owe you a solid! Gredenko reaches out to grossly stroke the device, making a really poorly worded rejoinder about American taxpayers getting an unexpected return on their investment. Please, don't remind me.
In the CTU Situation Room, Buchanan is briefing the troops about the impending Kiefer/Logan outing to the Russian Consulate. Morris arrives late, with his laptop, and Buchanan asks him if he's still the guy in charge of decoding diplomatic communication leaving the Consulate. Gosh, that kind of seems like a full-time job, but apparently it's only one of Morris's responsibilities. At least until Buchanan tells him to pass that off to Chloe. Morris protests, and stands up to give a big speech. He apologizes to everyone for helping Fayed, and says that he would take it back if he could. "If you don't think I can do my job, Mr. Buchanan, then I should leave. But I can do my job." Buchanan caves, probably because Morris's speech sounds like something Kiefer would say. Nadia chimes in to disagree, telling Morris she doesn't think he's ready. Buchanan continues to back Morris. Chloe just looks at her ex-husband nervously. "Is he drinking again now?" she wonders. "What about now? Or...NOW?"
Down in the White House Bunker's steam pipe trunk distribution venue, Tom is still trying to get loose. Carson turns and tells him, "You're wasting your energy. And you're distracting me. The president's gong to die, and there's nothing you can do about it." Well, except maybe to continue distracting him. Chad Lowe enters, stressing that people are starting to wonder where Tom is. Dude, stop worrying about that and start worrying about being seen going in and out of this supposedly abandoned room every thirty seconds. Carson assures Chad Lowe that he's on schedule with his little project. Chad Lowe starts to look a little green as the reality of what they're doing finally gets to him: "We're killing the President of the United States." Carson reminds Chad Lowe that they're trying to save the country, and that's all he needs to think about. That's good advice. person who asks where Tom is? Just tell them, "Sorry, can't talk! Saving the country!" It's 4:34:54.
4:39:22. At CTU, Nadia comes up to Chloe to complain about some technobabble on a report Morris did, like the TPS reports don't have a cover sheet or something. Chloe makes a technobabble excuse on Morris's behalf, and Nadia reluctantly lets it go for now. She's not happy about it, though, because it's either this or going back to being Lieutenant Uhura all the damn time.
So then Chloe heads over to where Morris is messing with the server racks -- still able to easily reach things above his head despite missing a cylinder of flesh from his left shoulder -- and asks him really, honest and for true, if he's been drinking. Without missing a beat, Morris cracks, "I just had a couple of beers, love. I didn't think anyone would mind." Heh. Chloe's not in the mood, and when she tells Morris about Nadia's alleged TPS issue, he blows it off as an example of Nadia just wanting to prove herself right. He adds that as much as part of him wants to "go home, crawl into bed, and forget this day ever happened," he's staying because CTU needs him. Wait: last hour it was because he needed to work. What's it going to be hour? He can't drive home because his car's in CTU impound with bullets in the headrest and plus he's still got a hole through his scapula? Pick an argument and stick with it.
At 4:40:56, Logan is taking his sweet old time picking out his clothes for a visit to the consulate, almost as if there aren't any nukes out there at all. He opens a suspiciously uncluttered little dresser-top case, and we see that he not only got off with house arrest, e also got to keep a couple of sets of cufflinks with the Presidential seal. He picks out that American flag lapel pin he wore all of last season to complete his outfit, and takes a lingering look at a photo of himself and ex-FLOTUS Martha in happier and presumably less traitorous, friend-killing, psychotropically-controlling times. He enters the bathroom and, staring into the mirror, recites, "He brought me out of a horrible pit, set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings." Who did? He tells himself, "One step at a time, Charles. One step at a time."
In one of the outer rooms, Kiefer's already decked out in a fresh suit and tie. I don't know where he found it, but obviously this isn't the first time he's raided a wardrobe on the premises. He's on the phone with Buchanan, lying that Logan is almost ready and that they should be reaching the Consulate about forty-five minutes after they leave. Buchanan reports that as far as Markov is concerned, CTU hasn't been able to find any dirt on him at all. While listening, Kiefer opens Logan's Bible to the page he left marked and finds Psalm 27 highlighted: "He set my feet upon a rock and gave me a firm place to stand." But not a very good memory, apparently. Buchanan wonders what they're going to do if Logan is lying. Kiefer says that they don't have any other leads, so they're just going to have to work this one. Makes perfect sense to me. Buchanan reminds Kiefer that they have no jurisdiction at the Consulate, like Kiefer doesn't know more about being careful in Consulates than anyone alive. Instead of pointing that out, Kiefer just tells Buchanan to have teams ready in case Markov gives them anything. Buchanan hangs up and calls Chloe to have her call the ChiPs and get them to clear the roads from Not Camp David to the Russian Consulate. What, we're suddenly worried about traffic on this show?
Not too worried, clearly, because instead of getting right on that, Chloe instead answers her chirping cell phone. It's Jeannie T. on the line, calling Chloe back. And she's being played by Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson, so I'm a little disappointed that she doesn't identify herself as Anita Dangler or something. Chloe starts in by apologizing for her breach of confidentiality regarding Jeannie's earlier conversation with Morris, but Jeannie T. cuts her off and says that there was no such conversation, and hasn't been for three years. Chloe quietly freaks and looks over in the direction of Morris's workstation. It's empty, presumably because Morris is off tying one on.
Chloe finishes her phone call and goes Morris-hunting. Her first stop is the Situation Room. Nobody's seen him there, so she picks up the handset on the conference phone and dials IT. "I haven't seen him, but if he comes down here--" is as far as the friendly guy on the other end gets before Chloe hangs up on him. Hee.
It's 4:43:52 when Chloe finally barges into the men's room, calling Morris's name. Morris answers her from inside a stall, and she starts hammering on the door. He comes out, pulling his shirt down over his pants and asking what the hell's going on. She confronts him with the story about the sponsor, and he insists that he didn't lie to her. Jeannie's not his sponsor any more, he says; Ted is. "Remember Ted, with the hair?" he reminds her, cupping both hands way off to the left side of his head in a way that really makes me want to meet Ted. Morris offers to give Chloe Ted's number so that she can check that if she wants. Some guy tries to come in, and Chloe snaps at him, "Not now!" Man, can you imagine getting yelled at by Chloe when you already have to pee? Once they're alone again, Chloe tries to climb down from her righteous rage by saying that she was worried about Morris. Washing his hands, Morris says he appreciates her concern, but advises her to look at what's going on in her head: "It's not pretty." Don't overplay it, there, bucko. Chloe mumbles another apology and stomps out. Once Morris is alone, he pulls out that half-empty whisky bottle from the back of his waistband, right where we knew it was all along. And it's actually more than half-empty now. He stands and regards the bottle for a while, giving Chloe a nice, wide window to come back in and discover him that way. But before that can happen, he dumps the last couple of fingers down the drain and throws the bottle in the trash can. Let's hope no one finds it in there.
Wayne is sitting in his office alone, doing pretty much nothing, when Melinda comes in with the Executive Order authorizing Logan's release. It's in a fancy leather folder and everything. Wayne signs it, closes the folder, and hands it back. Melinda tells Wayne that an on-camera rehearsal is scheduled for five minutes from now. She's about to leave, until Wayne stops her to ask where Tom is. She doesn't know, of course, so Wayne asks her to find Tom so that he can be there for Assad's statement. I guess Wayne wants to watch Tom's sourpuss reactions close-up.
In the steam pipe trunk distribution venue, Carson has gotten to the stage of bomb assembly where he's using a syringe to draw colored liquid out of one of his highlighters. I assume that the syringe was hidden inside a highlighter too, because we didn't see the Secret Service agent try to give himself an injection with it earlier. Tom starts coughing, so Chad Lowe goes over to him to takes the tape off his mouth so that he can tend to the cut on Tom's forehead. He warns Tom not to call out, or Carson will kill him. Once the tape's off, Tom begs Chad Lowe to call this off. Chad Lowe says that it's too late, and that he thinks that Tom will come around once Wayne's gone. I don't know why they're acting like they've already committed to this and it's too late to go back. It's two guys. All they have to do in order to avoid killing the president is to not kill the president. How hard is that? Tom tells Chad Lowe, "You're just as bad as Fayed." Ooh, burn. Chad Lowe is still naïvely thinking that Tom must have been on board at some point, and demands to know whether Tom changed his mind. Tom says that he was against this from the start. "That's very disappointing," says Chad Lowe, roughly replacing the tape on Tom's face and checking his ringing cell phone. He takes the call from Melinda, acting all friendly and helpful about sending Tom over to Wayne ASAP. I'm pretty sure he's not actually going to do it, though. He hangs up and stresses at Carson some more about the time. Carson now works his magic with the red highlighter. It's almost as exciting as watching someone refill an ink cartridge. Finally, he snaps shut the case of the small voice recorder -- with its new, improved, explosive guts -- and tells Chad Lowe that the bomb is finished and armed. He gives Chad Lowe the PDA that's going to serve as the remote detonator, instructing him to punch in 624-Enter to set it off. It'll take fifteen seconds for the chemicals to mix, and Wayne needs to be inside the device's ten-foot kill radius. Chad Lowe is ready; as he says, he's the only one who can get close to the podium without attracting attention. Funny, I would think that Chad Lowe of all people would have bad memories in relation to podiums. It's 4:49:12.
4:53:35. Chad Lowe makes the long, long walk to the Bunker's briefing room, trying not to crumble under the completely unsuspicious glances of the people passing him in the hallway. "No bomb here!" he thinks at them urgently. "Nothing even remotely incendiary on my person!" Finally, he reaches the briefing room. Presumably without soiling himself. A guy is standing at the podium doing whatever -- acting as a stand-in for light-meter readings, apparently. Chad Lowe awkwardly shuffles up, sends the guy away to get some water, and takes his place behind the podium, trying to look like he's just checking everything out. He hears a Secret Service agent saying that Wayne is on his way in, so he surreptitiously but quickly slips the exploding Dictaphone out of his pocket and puts it inside the podium. He leaves the spot all casual-like as Wayne enters, giving him a curious look. Way to not attract attention, Chad Lowe.
Assad is with Wayne as well, and before they start, Assad wants to thank Wayne for the risk he's taking. Wayne says that they're in this together, which in itself is worth something: "I just hope that someone will listen to our appeal." Assad wonders why Wayne seems so skeptical, and so do I, since they've spent the last four hours doing nothing but this. Assad gives Wayne some vague words of encouragement, which Wayne appears to buy. He smiles and calls Chad Lowe over to meet Assad. Chad Lowe shakes Assad's hand and is about to skedaddle, but Wayne smoothly dispatches Assad to the podium so that he can talk to Chad Lowe alone for a minute. Awkward. Acting like everything's cool for Assad's benefit, Wayne quietly asks if there's something he should know. "Of course I'm not about to kill you," Chad Lowe somehow manages to not say. Wayne's just concerned that something's up with Tom, since Wayne hasn't been able to reach him for the past hour. Chad Lowe quietly shits a brick, but Wayne still thinks that Tom's absence is due to Tom's petulance over Wayne's policies, and not due to being duct-taped to the steam pipe trunk distribution venue. Chad Lowe stammeringly assures Wayne that Tom will be there for the actual address.
Tom's still indisposed, of course, but now he's got an idea. He's just noticed that the pipes across from him have a couple of pressure valves and gauges attached to them. Checking to make sure that Carson's back is turned (what Carson is still doing there in the first place is a mystery), Tom reaches out one short little leg as far as it will go and just manages to wingtip a valve a few degrees. A hissing racket commences, and the gauge immediately heads into the red. Really? How unstable is this Bunker, anyway? Hearing the noise, Carson runs over and returns the valve to its original position. The needle starts dropping again, and Tom looks bummed. Carson threatens to kill Tom if he tries it again: "With the president dead, nobody's going to think to hard about why his Chief of Staff hanged himself." Hell, it's practically an occupational hazard. Carson tightens Tom's tape and goes back to whatever it was he was doing.
In the briefing room, the rehearsal is about to begin, and Chad Lowe excuses himself to ostensibly go find Tom. Instead, he lurks outside the door, peering in the window as he runs his sweat-slicked fingers over the screen of the PDA. He hits enter, and what looks like a 4.12-second countdown begins. A red light on the Detonaphone starts blinking, just to let anyone who might be looking at it that it's about to explode. Chad Lowe waits for the boom.
Inside, the camera guy says that he's going to give Assad a seven-second countdown. Liquid starts dripping out of the bomb's speaker grille, attracting Assad's attention. Nice bomb-making, Carson. One job, he had. "What is this?" Assad wonders as the director's countdown stops at five. Spotting the Dictaphone, he hollers, "Bomb!,"and dives at Wayne, just like everyone else does. Wayne quickly turns to the door, and that's when the whole room seems to explode.
Chad Lowe just stands quietly outside the other door, which doesn't arouse the suspicions of the small army of Secret Service agents pushing him aside to enter the bomb site. An alarm is going off as Chad Lowe shrinks into his own splitscreen window. In other windows, Tom is still taped up, Fayed is still riding with his nukes, Chloe steals more glances across the CTU floor at Morris, Gredenko's men busy themselves preparing the drones, and Kiefer picks up a soft-sided briefcase preparatory to leaving Not Camp David.
The rubble of the briefing room is lit only by emergency lights and the flashlights of Secret Service personnel (one of which may have some of Tom's DNA on it). One guard turns over the bodies of Assad (dead or not?) and Wayne's Secret Service guy (ditto?) before finding Wayne bloody and facedown on the floor. "Citadel is down," he reports, as Chad Lowe slouches off looking pretty miserable for someone who just saved the country. He's clearly not thinking that anybody will ever thank him for this. It's 5:00:00.