Episode Report Card M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Now That's Hospitality
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 9 | Aired on 02.19.2006
Logan tries to explain his position: if he doesn't give the terrorists what they wants, tens of thousands of Americans will die. Well, when you put it that way. Horrified, FLOTUS asks, "What are you telling me, that we are going to stand in front of the entire world with the Suvarovs, you're going to look him in the eye, shake his hand, knowing you're sending them to their deaths?" Logan asks if she thinks Suvarov would save them if they were in Russia and their positions were reversed, but FLOTUS angrily insists that's beside the point: "You are the President of the United States! My God, Charles! You're talking about murder!" Oh, calm down. He's talking about conspiracy to commit murder, which is totally different. Logan asks what else he can do, and FLOTUS angrily says he should tell the terrorists to pound sand: "Isn't that the policy of this country? Isn't that the point of the treaty you just signed?" "It's not that simple, Martha," Logan responds pointedly. "It never is." How do you like that circle now, FLOTUS?
It's 3:46:03, and McGill is still standing over Audrey in order to try and minimize the risk that she might actually get any work done. Meanwhile, twenty feet over at Chloe's cube, she's run into a brick wall when trying to decrypt Kiefer's new data. "Dammit," she breathes, and picks up her cell phone to call Buchanan's cell. Wisely keeping it off the logs in case McGill starts to wonder why his employees are talking to each other, I suppose. Apparently Chloe already knows that Buchanan's in their secret club, because she complains to him that the data is encrypted with a Defense Department code, and only Audrey has the clearance to decrypt it. Which is going to be tough to get away with without tipping off McGill, who at this point is chest-deep up Audrey's ass. Starting across the floor towards Audrey's station, Buchanan asks how much time Chloe needs. "Two, three minutes," Chloe guesstimates. "Hang on," Buchanan says, hanging up. Well, that was a confusing directive.
But he's calling McGill away from Audrey's desk. As he smoothly spins a web of bullshit about how he's looking into the security breach of the phone logs (and nice move there, making it the one thing that McGill might almost be interested in enough to turn away from Audrey's monitor for five seconds). Chloe takes advantage of the opening to IM Audrey: "Buchanan's buying time. I need your DOD codes to decrypt data Jack got from Nathanson." Does Buchanan know he's buying enough time for proper capitalization? In the background, Buchanan says he and McGill need to go up to the boss's office to investigate further. And then he makes his one misstep when he says they'll need to use McGill's keycard to access the records that will tell them who's behind the phone log affair. McGill isn't about to admit that his keycard's long gone, so he stops short at the bottom of the stairs and asks Buchanan, "Why are you so interested in this?" "I'm serious about all breaches of security," Buchanan answers mildly as Audrey IMs her clearance code -- which she knows from memory -- back to Chloe and closes the IM window. But McGill turns just in time to see the window disappear and barks, "What was that?" as he dives right back up Audrey's ass, vanishing all the way to his shoes. Audrey plays innocent, but McGill continues to make a loud, paranoid ass of himself, which is a pretty impressive feat considering that his insane suspicions are totally correct. Buchanan's had enough playacting, and he quietly offers to explain. But McGill already has an explanation: "This was a deliberate attempt to circumvent my authority!" Audrey gets to her feet to remind McGill that they're all on the same side. McGill rounds on her and blusters, "If your father wasn't the Secretary of Defense, I'd have you thrown out of here." And to Buchanan: "I don't have that problem with you." With that, he calls the Redshirts to have Buchanan put in holding. "You are making a mistake," Audrey says, and Buchanan says her name in a quiet but warning tone. A look passes between them that I don't really get, but the actors probably don't either and they're doing the best they can with the material they've been given at this point. Buchanan goes quietly with the Redshirts. McGill raises his voice and announces to the entire place that "I'm putting a section two-three redundancy into effect as of this moment." For anyone who doesn't know what that means, he explains that "all of your stations will be mirrored and monitored through my office." Well, he's going to be busy. Audrey tries to remonstrate with McGill again, telling him, "You are jeopardizing our chances of finding that nerve gas. I will make sure that DoD and the Secretary of Defense are made aware of that!" McGill looks up at her. "Don't threaten me, Ms. Raines. I promise you, you do not want to threaten me," he threatens right back. Nerve gas? What nerve gas? I have to say, the forums were kind of hard on McGill for letting himself get distracted by a lame palace coup while terrorists were on the loose with WMDs. But I think it shows that McGill may just be Presidential timbre. Palmerian, even. It's 3:48:38.
3:52:52. Kiefer's driving around in his stolen CTUmobile when Chloe calls up to tell him what she's found from Kiefer's data: apparently a company called Terra-Dyne has been buying up large quantities of the strontium isotope that's used to make Sentox nerve gas. I later read that the actual company Teradyne (which makes electronics testing equipment) is a little miffed at their name being taken in vain like this, even with the alternate spelling. Maybe they should change it to something more innocuous but similar-sounding, like "Terror-Dying." Kiefer asks where the company is, and Chloe tells him La Cañada. Good thing it's not the actual Canada, or we'd have to go on hiatus while Kiefer flies there. Chloe adds that Terra-Dyne is a subsidiary of a company called Omicron International. That name clearly rings a whole shelf full of bells for Kiefer, and he tells Chloe to see if the senior management roster includes the name Christopher Henderson. I'm spoiled as to who that is, but I'm keeping it to myself for now. Chloe confirms that a guy by that name is Omicron's Senior Vice President of Research and Development, and asks if Kiefer knows him. Wow, his super-sleuthing skills are starting to rub off on her. "Yeah, I did once," Kiefer admits. He asks her to send the decrypted files to his PDA, but she says that's going to be tricky with everyone under McGill's microscope. She doesn't add that she's risking joining Buchanan in holding for the second time today just by reading this stuff off her screen to Kiefer, which is unlike her. Kiefer is worried to hear that Buchanan's been put away for insubordination, and wonders what's going on. "[McGill]'s losing it," Chloe explains. "I think the president's putting too much pressure on him to get those canisters. He can't handle it." Who is this astute student of human nature, and what has she done with Chloe? Kiefer says he still needs the files, and Chloe hangs up with a promise to try.