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Kiefer poses as the newly-dead Rossler to deliver the new gas canister trigger chip -- with CTU tracking device attached -- to Erwich's men. But they aren't satisfied to have Kiefer merely install the new chip; they insist, at gunpoint, that Kiefer come with them on a field test in a crowded mall. And McGill wants to let the test go ahead so as not to tip off Erwich and let him escape with the other nineteen canisters. As for Buchanan, he wants President Logan to weigh in on this latest moral dilemma. Of course, the President has already flunked one of those this hour, having decided to cover up Walt's crimes after all. So when CTU calls, Logan gives the go-ahead to let the bad guys gas the mall. But Kiefer don't play that; defying the orders coming through on his secret earpiece, he thwarts the test and gets knocked out for his trouble. During his nap, the terrorists manage to hot-wire the canister, and Kiefer wakes up just in time to prevent the gas from affecting more than a handful of shoppers, one of whom Kiefer saves personally. The surviving terrorist escapes and leads Kiefer and Curtis to Erwich's garage hideout, just in time to learn that the failure of the test tipped off Erwich, just as McGill feared. He and his other guys have already bugged out with the gas. On the bright side, they're down one canister now, so their potential for mass destruction just dropped five percent. I'm just trying to provide a more positive perspective here. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
So even though McGill got beaten and mugged last week, he doesn't seem to have any trouble reentering CTU without his access card. I guess things have gotten a little lax, what with the last major security breach having occurred over two hours ago. Once inside the door, McGill re-tucks his shirt, straightens his tie, wipes the blood off of his lip, and runs his hands through his hair before anybody notices his condition and wonders what happened to him. If that were me, I'd totally milk the situation for sympathy and ice cream. But McGill isn't me, which is why he doesn't slam the door on his face for good measure. He meets up with Buchanan, who brings him up to speed on last week's final scene: "Rossler's dead. Shot by his female companion." Oh, is that what they're calling them these days? He adds that this means their initial plan to follow Rossler to Erwich, and then follow Erwich to the canisters of nerve gas, is now in the shitter. Worse yet, they're picking up "chatter" that Erwich is looking for help from other terrorist organizations nationwide. I don't know why they're getting that from "chatter" instead of eavesdropping on Erwich's phone calls as we've seen them do. In any case, I don't see how things could get worse for McGill and Buchanan right now. Oh, never mind, here's Chloe. She announces that there's a call coming in on Rossler's phone. "Put it on speaker," Buchanan says. It's either going to be Erwich or the most carefully scrutinized telemarketing call in law enforcement history.
Over at the Cradle of Love, Kiefer answers Rossler's phone with a terse, artificially deep-voiced "Yeah." Erwich gives Kiefer -- who, remember, he thinks is Rossler -- instructions to meet one of Erwich's men at a parking garage in five minutes. Wow, I bet even Rossler's parking garage is more than five minutes away. Erwich tells Kiefer to "look for a blue van" and hangs up before Kiefer has to respond. It doesn't sound like Erwich suspects anything is amiss. "I think we caught a break," Kiefer understates to Curtis. He asks for the new trigger chip that Rossler produced off-screen at some point, and puts a call through to CTU.
Buchanan's now in a full meeting in the Situation Room when Kiefer's call comes in. Kiefer points out that he can pass himself off as Rossler at the meeting, since Erwich won't be there. "We can keep the meeting," Kiefer says. "We can control this thing." Remember those words later. McGill frets that Erwich's man may already know Rossler, but Kiefer reminds them of the "look for a blue van" instruction, which wouldn't have been necessary were that the case. Buchanan thinks it's still risky, and Audrey is even more blunt: "They will probably kill you." And if they don't, I will, her tone says. Kiefer says it's a chance they have to take. Buchanan finally gives the okay. After Kiefer hangs up, Buchanan tells Chloe she'll need to "tech support" Kiefer through the installation of the chip. Remember those words later, too.
At the Cradle of Love, Curtis is explaining the sitch to Kiefer: "The chip you'll be given is genuine, but it's useless without the unlock code." Still, that's good thinking, supplying terrorists with a working component that will actually allow them to release nerve gas. That shows strong planning in setting up an impending moral quandary. Curtis adds that a tracking device is attached directly to the chip. Kiefer tells Curtis that he plans to act like he's afraid of the bad guys. Not that Curtis needs to know that, but we do so we don't wonder later on why he's going to be acting like a wuss. Curtis gives Kiefer a new comm unit. This one is a little Kiefer-colored blob of plastic that goes into his ear for two-way communication. And it probably cost me and my fellow taxpayers the price of a loft in Chelsea. It means CTU will be able to hear everything within twenty feet of Kiefer. "I'll be watching your back," Curtis promises. Would that be his broke back, Curtis?
At the terrorists' hideout in the motorcycle garage, where apparently the mechanics take very long lunches indeed, Erwich sends a couple of his guys out to meet "Rossler." And then he turns to find one of his other henchmen -- the same one he decked last week -- fiddling around with the wiring inside one of the canisters. If I were in a place where I saw this going on, I would start running, come back, throw on one of the gas masks, start running again, come back again, shoot the moron in the head, then run away for good. But Erwich looks a lot less pissed and freaked out at this development than I would be, and it quickly turns out that this was his idea in the first place, which makes him even crazier than I thought. It's because he wants to figure out a way to hot-wire the canisters in case the chip "Rossler" gives them doesn't work. Poor, suspicious Erwich; he can't know that not only will the chip work, but it's being supplied by CTU. "There may be a work-around," the Tinkering Henchman says, "but someone will have to be on-site with the canister." Erwich doesn't look thrilled to hear that, but tells his guy, "Get it done."
When you're the President of the United States, your work is never done. Those office windows aren't going to stare blankly through themselves, you know. Logan's in the middle of this vital Constitutional obligation when Novick comes in to say that Walt's body has been moved to the "Secret Service outbuilding," and that they still have to issue a statement. "No statement until his wife's been notified," Logan no-brainers. Novick looks flustered that he actually forgot that for a minute, but he quickly rallies to pitch an idea. He wonders if, given the fact of Walt's death, the need for disclosure of his misdeeds hasn't become "moot." Logan neutrally asks if Novick's talking about letting Walt "go out with some dignity, not as a traitor." That's exactly what Novick's saying. "My wife will have a considerable problem with that," Logan says, wishing that he had Jed Bartlet's ability to phrase that kind of sentiment without sounding completely whipped. Novick diplomatically points out that it's Logan's decision. Which, you know, is always Logan's favorite thing to hear.
It's 2:07:27 when Evelyn enters the FLOTUSuite with a glass of water to find her boss tapping away at her laptop. Evelyn's got something on her mind; specifically, the reasons for Walt's suicide. She's wondering if maybe Walt's death wasn't suicide after all. "What if we're in danger?" Evelyn asks. "What if it wasn't suicide?" Rather than enfolding her fledgling conspiracy theorist into a proud embrace, the First Lady assures Evelyn that it was indeed suicide. And when Evelyn seems unconvinced, FLOTUS swears Evelyn to secrecy and tells her that "Walt was a traitor," and decided to kill himself to escape the humiliation of a trial. Evelyn looks like her world has been, if not rocked, at least mildly swayed. The funny thing is, now Evelyn's got me wondering too. After all, Walt might not have been the only person The Man had on the inside. Right, Novick? No, I have no idea if that's true, I'm just fishing. Right, Aaron? ...No? Evelyn? FLOTUS? Anyone? Bueller?
At 2:09:16, Kiefer drives what I assume is the Rosslermobile -- a silver Lexus sedan, the ideal vehicle for squiring your illegal fifteen-year-old sex slave around town -- into a parking garage. In a black CTUmobile some distance behind him, Curtis parks by the curb and reports as much to CTU. Mere seconds later, the promised blue van follows Kiefer into the ramp. Curtis reads off the van's license plates into his comm unit. Back at the CTU Situation Room, Edgar -- who, along with Buchanan, McGill, Audrey, and Chloe, will be monitoring live audio of the proceedings in the field for pretty much the rest of the episode -- quickly uses his laptop to ascertain that the van is running with stolen plates as it heads up the ramp to meet Kiefer. It pulls in near the Rosslermobile, and two guys get out. "Showtime," Kiefer whispers for the folks at CTU, and gets out to meet his contacts.
He puts on a show of acting nervous and worried that there are two guys there instead of one, as Erwich specified a few minutes ago. "Relax," says Henchman #1. "We've got your money." Kiefer wants to see it, and after showing them the chip, he gets a look into a pouch full of cash. Henchman #1's voice is clearly heard in the CTU Situation Room at 2:11:02, saying, "Erwich says you have to install it." Kiefer says he needs the remote trigger, and the guys open up the van's back door to give him access to the handheld device. Kiefer "nervously" approaches the vehicle, squats down on the concrete to the back bumper, and goes to work on a little remote unit, looking up "nervously" every few seconds at the terrorists standing over him. Chloe "tech supports" him through the procedure of replacing the chip, which, aside from toggling one jumper switch, really isn't anything Kiefer couldn't have figured out on his own. And again, I just have to say that CTU is going to a bit too much trouble to make sure that they're supplying terrorists with a device that will not only allow them to track the bad guys, but will also potentially kill hundreds of thousands of people. So thanks for including that bit about the jumper switch, Chloe. There's a brief moment where Kiefer's just staring at the device in his hands in confusion while Chloe tells him what to do, which doesn't appear to alert the terrorists that anything is wrong. They must have never seen Quiz Show. The whole process takes less than a minute, and Kiefer hands over the reconfigured trigger, saying, "You can activate the canisters now." Henchman #1 menaces, "You'd better hope it works. You're coming with us, just to make sure." And then Henchman #2 socks Kiefer in the belly and bundles him into the back of the van. Kiefer puts up no resistance, not just because he's in character, but also because in his head he's already figured out the urgent discussion that's about to transpire between Curtis and the folks back at CTU. But we haven't, so let's listen.
Curtis says he's ready to send the tactical teams in right now to rescue Kiefer, but McGill tells him to be cool. Audrey reminds McGill that Erwich saw Kiefer at the airport, and will kill him when he sees him posing as Rossler. McGill, looking more disheveled again than he was a minute ago, assures Audrey that the tactical teams will move in before then. Audrey argues that they should take the two terrorists now and get Erwich's location from them. McGill says that Erwich will flee with the nerve gas as soon as he realizes his men have been pinched. "This is our only shot," he insists. Audrey turns to Buchanan for support, but Buchanan is silent. By now, the blue van is pulling out onto the street in view of Curtis. "Are we letting them take Jack?" Curtis asks urgently, and McGill tells him to stand down and get his teams ready for a follow-up operation. Curtis takes off. At CTU, now that it's too late to do anything else, Buchanan tells Audrey, "Lynn's right. Whatever happens, Jack can handle it. He has to." Looking at Kiefer's determined face as he rides in the back of the terrorists' van, it's hard to be worried that he won't. It's 2:13:52.
2:18:13. FLOTUS is still working on her statement when Evelyn comes in and hands her a fresh press release. Obviously Logan decided to go with Novick's advice, because Evelyn says with some confusion that "They're calling Walt Cummings a hero, not a traitor." FLOTUS growls, "I don't believe this," and storms out of the room, leaving Evelyn standing there thinking, yeah, that's the FLOTUS I know. And then Evelyn hangs herself. Not really.
Logan comes back into his residence from the bathroom, throwing his suit jacket back on as he asks Novick for an update on the search for the canisters. Novick says they're working on it, and Logan does a little Pointy-Haired Boss routine about how he wants "results," from which Novick has to talk him down. Again. And speaking of talking down, here comes FLOTUS, furiously waving the offending press release and pissed off that "You're covering everything up." "I'll go wait outside," Novick says quietly, like he isn't behind all this drama in the first place. Weasel. FLOTUS, God love her, says as much, and tells Novick to stick around for his whipping. Logan tries to be conciliatory as he tells FLOTUS that Walt's death "changes things," and Novick adds that now that Walt isn't going to be tried, "it was decided that this course was best for his family." FLOTUS sees right through that, and says they're only covering their own asses. Logan cuts that off, finally remembering something kind of important: "I made my decision. And I am the President." "Which means it's your job to tell the truth," FLOTUS says, while Novick looks down quickly to hide his smirk. Along with the entire viewing public. "And if you don't," FLOTUS threatens, "I will." Logan says that if that's how she feels, she can start by telling Walt's wife when she arrives at Not Camp David to claim Walt's body: "You can be the one to tell her that the real reason that Walt took the coward's way out was because he disgraced himself and he betrayed his country." Novick isn't even bothering to hide his smirk any more. Must be fun for him to see his boss actually win an argument for once. FLOTUS is a bit thrown at having her bluff called, but she storms out, insisting that she plans to do exactly that. Or else she'll hang herself.
It's 2:20:55 as Curtis reports in that he's still following Kiefer from a mile back. "We've got them on satellite," Buchanan assures him. "We're not going to lose them." Because remember, there's a tracking device built into the fully functional mass-murdering remote that they gave to the terrorists. I'm glad CTU has the situation well in hand.
In the back of the van, Kiefer tries to get the bad guys talking by asking where they're going. Henchman #1 says they're planning to make sure the remote trigger works on the canisters. And he throws aside an oilcloth to his seat to reveal that a large metal canister with a biohazard symbol is riding on the floor between the two front seats. "My God, you've got one of the canisters with you," Kiefer narrates for the folks at CTU, who react with appropriate surprise and shock. "Erwich wants a field test," Henchman #1 explains. Kiefer balks at the idea of being anywhere near such a test. "We have masks," Henchman #1 says breezily, although he doesn't say how many. The gun in his hand is pointed at Kiefer in any case. Kiefer "fearfully" asks what the target is, but the only answer is Henchman #1 covering the canister again. Now that no one's looking at him, Kiefer's free to make an "Oh, phooey" face.
In his pursuit vehicle, Curtis offers to set up an intercept, but McGill kiboshes that until they're sure there's actually a canister on board. Based on the movement of the blip representing the tracking beacon on her laptop screen, Chloe's already projecting potential destinations. She quickly announces that the terrorists are headed for the Sunrise Hills Mall. By the way, I looked it up, and there is no Sunrise Hills Mall. Even, as I had mistakenly thought, in a zombie movie. Does it or does it not sound like a total zombie-movie mall? Just me? Okay, never mind. Audrey widens her eyes at Buchanan, and McGill just looks bummed. Kiefer stays in character by biting his nails. Chloe's already sending schematics of the mall and surrounding area to Curtis and his teams. It's 2:22:37 as the blue van pulls into the mall lot, its driver unaware that CTU vehicles are converging on the shopping center at the same time. Converging like shiny, four-wheel drive zombies, in fact. I'm sorry, I'm going to try to let this go. Curtis parks at a distance and watches through his binoculars as Henchman #1 climbs out of the blue van and slides open the side door for Kiefer.
Who's asking, "How are you going to get the canister inside?" Henchman #1 says they'll bring it in the front door, disguised as a maintenance crew. I mean the guys will be disguised as a maintenance crew, not the canister. Which is too bad, because that would be funny. Kiefer balks again, saying he's not going in. Listening in, Audrey wonders why Kiefer is stalling. Kiefer explains to both her and the terrorists that the mall is full of video cameras. Henchman #1 ain't scared of no video cameras, but Kiefer refuses to "get my face all over the news." Waving the gun around some more, Henchman #1 threatens, "Erwich prefers to keep you alive, but only if you cooperate. Now hand me the jackets." Jackets? Audrey says in Kiefer's earpiece that they'll have time to move the tactical teams into position before the bad guys will be able to enter the mall, so Kiefer can let this play out. "Fine, let's get this over with," Kiefer snaps, and grabs three white jackets off the hanger to him. The three men start shrugging into them.
At CTU, everything's being put in place for the operation to take the bad guys down, until McGill calmly orders, "Hold off on that." Audrey wonders what's up with him, and McGill just grimly says, "If we move in now, Erwich will know that we're onto him and we won't be led to the other canisters." Audrey looks to Buchanan before asking McGill if he's really going to sacrifice all the people at the mall. McGill says he's "accepting the damage that one canister can do versus what the other nineteen can do." Nobody can ever just say "Yes" on this show, can they? Audrey again turns to Buchanan to step in, which just causes McGill to snap, "Bill's not in charge here! I am!" Keep saying that, Rudy, and perhaps one day it will be true. Buchanan says they need to call the President. Oh, terrific, that'll be one of history's Great Moments in Decisiveness.
At the parking lot, Curtis watches Kiefer and his two captors head towards the mall in their white maintenance jackets with embroidered badges, carrying large tool boxes (one of which no doubt contains the nerve gas canister) and what looks like a rolled-up blueprint of the mall. These guys sure came prepared for something they weren't even planning to do a couple of hours ago. I suppose that once you're in possession of twenty canisters of Sentox nerve gas, all the other little details just sort of fall into place. Don't believe me? Fifteen minutes ago they didn't have a working trigger to actually release the gas, and now they do, courtesy of CTU. It's 2:24:56.
Commercials. That kid whose parents have the SUV may be smirking about being the first to get picked up from school on a snow day now, but when it melts I bet there's a crunchy beating in store for him.
2:29:22. In the CTU Situation Room, Chloe has already hacked into the mall's video surveillance system, which allows her to put up real-time video of Kiefer and his captors on the big screen. Audrey says in his earpiece that they're still trying to reach Logan. Kiefer doesn't respond, keeping his cover intact while not having to talk to Audrey. It's win-win for him, really. He and the terrorists pass a birthday party of little kids, and Kiefer's briefly distracted by the sight of a child's helium balloon escaping towards the huge skylight above. I wonder briefly if he's trying to learn something about the mall's ventilation from watching the balloon's trajectory, but Henchman #2 prods him onward before he can go all Gabrielle on them. As far as I can tell, there are no zombies of any kind present. I'm just going to have to let it go.
They quickly reach the mall's back offices, where Kiefer is drafted to lure the one security guard in the entire mall out of the room full of video monitors. When the guard opens the inner door, the henchmen claim to be there for ventilation repair. This is the first the guard's heard of it, of course, so he asks for some paperwork. Henchman #2 reaches into his bag, all, "I've got your paperwork right here!" and he pulls out a silenced handgun, with which he plugs the guard twice in the chest. Although Kiefer's pissed, he stays silent, which seems a little out of character for the part he's playing. At 2:30:47, Henchman #1 walks around to a huge, exposed ventilation duct that passes through the area, which he and his partner agree will serve their purposes nicely. Henchman #2 whips out a cordless reciprocating saw, because, if you're going on a long sea voyage to "Central Asia" like these guys were planning to be doing as of this morning, you're going to need to pass the time with something. A deck of cards, a pair of dice, magazines, white maintenance jackets with embroidered badges, large toolboxes, blueprints of the Sunrise Hills Mall, and a cordless reciprocating saw. Add one packed cargo hold and you've got instant fun. Plus it comes in handy when your original plan goes south and your new itinerary includes slicing into a vent panel, as it does now. The sound of metal being cut is a lot noisier than an unsilenced gunshot would have been. And yet Kiefer is still going to be able to hear the entire discussion that's about to follow on his earpiece. That thing must have cost me more than a whole building in Chelsea.
CTU has gotten through to Logan. Formal as always, McGill introduces everyone in the room -- Buchanan, Audrey, Chloe, and Edgar -- before explaining that Kiefer's currently undercover with two terrorists who are about to release one canister of nerve gas into the mall. "Well, then arrest them. What's the problem?" Logan demands. McGill says the problem is that they don't want to blow Kiefer's cover and potentially lose the other nineteen canisters. Hence the need for an entire mall full of civilians to be exposed to a highly toxic agent, die horribly, and rise anew as shambling, flesh-eating allegories of insatiable American consumerism. Or maybe I'm adding that last part. Logan's question for McGill is largely rhetorical: "Are you out of your mind?" Buchanan steps in here and admits that he had the same question, but having looked at their "updated scenarios," it's possible that if CTU doesn't find the remaining nineteen canisters, they could be deployed at crowded areas all over the country. "The loss of life could exceed hundreds of thousands of people," he concludes. He says it like it's a bad thing.
At the mall, Henchman #2 has succeeded in cutting a huge section out of the vent panel, giving them access to the duct. It's 2:32:43 as Kiefer watches them load the canister into the duct, still listening to the discussion going on between CTU and the President. I'd love to hear what Kiefer's position is on this, but it's not like he can weigh in any more than we can. At least not unless he shoves that earpiece in a lot further so they can hear his actual thoughts.
Novick is asking Team CTU how many casualties they're projecting at the mall, and McGill says they're guessing between eight and nine hundred. "Sir, many of them are children," Audrey pipes up. She doesn't say how many of them are acting like assholes at the moment. Novick suggests evacuating the mall, but McGill says that'll tip their hand as well. Logan looks at this from his usual perspective, which is the political cost; he says the public won't stand for it. McGill assures him that the decision will be covert, and no one will ever know. He adds that "We know with a hundred percent certainty that when they leave the mall, they're going back to the remaining canisters." Because Logan hates actually making decisions, he asks for McGill's recommendation. McGill says that he and Buchanan agree that "the greater good would be served by allowing them to release this single canister of Sentox nerve gas." Audrey argues that they have no right. So now Logan's on the spot, and the terrorists are almost ready. Logan tries to weasel out of it, saying, "This is a field operation. It's up to you." Buchanan insists that only Logan has the legal authority to make this call. I love how Buchanan's so tired of Logan all the time. "You're putting me in a terrible position," Logan all-about-mes, and puts CTU on hold so he can turn to Novick. But Novick's no help: "You have to make the call," he says, probably just because he enjoys making Logan squirm. Seriously, the President would probably rather hang himself than have to deal with this. Logan finally reopens the line and speechifies, "The terrorists are forcing us to make a tragic choice... Let them release the gas." Kiefer looks stricken at hearing this over his earpiece. "But you better find those other canisters," Logan threatens, "or those people will have died in vain." And somebody might even get fired. End of call. Won't it be embarrassing if the terrorists accidentally end up opening all twenty canisters at the same time? They're all on the same remote, after all. But I guess CTU can't afford anybody smart enough to think of that, having spent all of their money on two-way earpieces that cost more than Chelsea.
It's 2:34:52 as McGill orders, "Pull our TAC teams out of the mall." Into his headset, McGill reminds Kiefer that he heard the President's decision. So here we are at this hour's big choice. We heard the whole discussion between representatives of CTU, Division, and the Department of Defense, as well as the President of the United States and his entire staff of advisor, grappling with the question of whether you sacrifice a thousand lives to save a million. And they've arrived at a conclusion, but it all comes down to Kiefer to actually let it happen or not. Will his tendency for insubordination, his disrespect for pukes like Logan and McGill, and, okay, the remaining scraps of his underlying humanity win out over his cold-blooded willingness to do what needs to be done, no matter the cost? We have no way of knowing, because even though he's the one who's going to have to actually carry out the decision, he's also the only one who can't say what he's thinking. Furthermore, are we the viewers even sure of what is the right thing to do? It's the episode's one truly suspenseful moment. Or it would be, if the promo guys hadn't ruined it already.
So the terrorists are ready to go. They put on full-face gas masks, toss one to Kiefer, and ask him for the unlock code. Buchanan earpieces the code to Kiefer, which is AKC. Kiefer just stands there for a few seconds while the terrorists get more impatient and Buchanan just repeats the words "Alpha, Kilo, Charlie" more and more quietly. Finally, Kiefer calls out through his mask, "Echo, Bravo, Charlie." So Kiefer is not on board. I bet he'd have obeyed the order had it come from Palmer, and what's more, I bet Palmer would have given it. At CTU, McGill and Buchanan look disgusted. "Enter the correct code, Jack. That's an order," McGill snaps. When Kiefer says nothing, McGill "shouts," "Let them release the gas, NOW!" Way to establish your authority there, Mikey. Kiefer probably just thought he was getting a feedback whine or something. Henchman #1 angrily rips off his gas mask. "Make it work or I'll kill you," he threatens Kiefer, who has also unmasked. Kiefer insists there's nothing he can do, and Henchman #1 clobbers him to the ground, unconscious. Wow, Kiefer's undercover persona goes down a lot more easily than the real Kiefer.
Henchman #1 then calls Erwich with the bad news that they can't arm the canisters, and that "Rossler" says he can't help. "Do you believe him?" Erwich asks. Henchman #1 says he doesn't know, and offers to kill "Rossler" for Erwich. Way to be proactive. Erwich wants to hold off on that until they're sure they have an alternate method of releasing the gas. So while Erwich is carrying his satellite phone over to the Tinkering Henchman in the garage, Henchman #2 at the mall drags Kiefer's body into the room where they dumped the security guard's body, and handcuffs Kiefer's wrist to a table leg. As the Tinkering Henchman starts technobabbling down the phone at Henchman #1, it's quiet in the CTU Situation Room. Almost as quiet as in the security room, where the camera pans down from the monitor marked "PLAY AREA" to Kiefer's motionless form. It's 2:37:22.
2:41:44. Kiefer comes awake in a way that suggests to me that he wasn't faking like I thought he might have been. Let's hope he doesn't have amnesia from the blow on the head, or this season could take a very weird turn.
Out in the other room, Henchman #1 is up to his elbows in the electronic guts of the nerve gas canister while talking on the phone with the Tinkering Henchman. He worries that the valve might open without warning. "If you make a mistake, it could, so pay attention," TH warns. I don't know how he knows that without being dead. And even though Kiefer is in a different room, his two-way earpiece is still picking up the whole conversation clear as day for the folks in the CTU Situation Room. I guess that twenty-foot radius Curtis mentioned is what matters to the earpiece, not the number of walls in the intervening space. Thing must cost more than Chelsea Clinton. Kiefer tries to escape by lifting up the table leg he's handcuffed to, but the top is set into the wall and the leg won't go high enough. As Henchman #1 tells Henchman #2 to get the gas masks, Kiefer tries to reach the guard's body on the floor to him, but the dead guy's too far away for Kiefer's stumpy little limbs to get a hold of. How much does it suck for him that no other guards ever come back to the security office?
Meanwhile, back at CTU, Audrey has decided its time for a little theater. She takes over the big screen and puts up the live images of the mall's play area, which is swarming with ankle-biters. Then she stomps up to McGill -- who's just standing there despondently at the apparent failure of his cunning plan -- to say there's still time to stop the terror attack. McGill reminds her that they have orders from the president, but Audrey says Logan isn't looking at the kids whose death he just authorized. McGill reminds her that many more people could die if they don't find the other nineteen canisters, and Audrey reminds McGill of the difference between "will" and "could" before stridently ordering McGill, "Look at the monitors!" Buchanan tries to step in, but Audrey isn't done: "Lynn, you tell me, if you were in Jack's shoes, would you follow through with that order? Stand by and watch as they murder all those people?" McGill: "If those are the orders of the president? Yes, I would have to!" Instead of pointing out that McGill was the one who talked the President into giving that order, Audrey just gets even more sanctimonious. "I hope that's not true, for your sake," she snits. Says the lady who works at the Pentagon. She had me and then she lost me. Chloe looks even more pinched than usual, torn between her desire to help terrorists kill a thousand people and her equally powerful desire to let them kill a million. Edgar looks blank, as usual. McGill, for his part, looks wounded. Or maybe he's just thinking, GOD, that Audrey chick is boring.
The hot-wiring of the gas canister is almost done, and Tinkering Henchman advises the guys at the mall, "Put your masks on. The wire you splice will open the valve." And he tested this how? I don't remember the canisters coming with an owner's manual. As they mask up, Henchman #1 tells Henchman #2 to "go kill Rossler." Hearing this, Kiefer fakes unconsciousness as Henchman #2 gets his gun out of his bag at 2:43:52. And inside the vent, the top section of the nerve gas canister rises out of the main tube, revealing a fine metal grate inside that looks like the world's largest microscreen shaver. One assumes that's where the gas will be coming from, although it's not visible yet. By now, Henchman #2 is standing over Kiefer, ready to shoot him. But he's standing too close, even given Kiefer's limited reach, and with a mighty kick Kiefer sweeps Henchman #2's legs out from under him. He catches Henchman #2's head between his knees and snaps his neck. Out in the other room, Henchmen #1 is satisfied that his work is done, now that he can see the white vapor beginning to emanate from the canister. He moves toward the other room to see what's up with Henchman #2, and Kiefer takes a potshot at him with Henchman #2's gun. But for once Kiefer is too slow, and Henchman #1 darts out of sight and out of range. And Kiefer's still handcuffed to the table. He takes the gas mask off of Henchman #2's face and puts it on his own with his free hand. And now, for some reason, the guard is just within reach. I don't know what happened since the last time he tried that. Maybe there was a temblor or something. Kiefer tugs the guard's body closer by the edge of its shirtsleeve, then unhooks the walkie-talkie from the dead guard's belt, then uses the walkie-talkie's antenna to snag the guard's keys. He's free of the handcuffs with the first key he tries. Hey, Kiefer, can you think of another possible use for that walkie-talkie, now that poison gas is seeping into a crowded mall? No? In that case, are you sure you have a tight seal on that gas mask?
CTU is still trying vainly to contact Kiefer as he heads out into the other room, gun leveled, and spots the gas pouring out of the canister. He goes over and yanks loose some wires, which starts the canister closing again. Hey, it's the bad sci-fi theory of door panels! You know, those computerized door controls in cheesy space operas that the good guys blast with their laser guns, and it either shuts an open door, locks a shut door, shuts it and locks it, locks it open, or opens it, depending on what they want it to do? Same thing here. The important thing is that Kiefer's stopped more gas from escaping. Now that that's taken care of, he's able to take the time to answer McGill, who's been squawking into his earpiece this whole time. He reports that he's stopped the gas, although some has already escaped, and that so has one terrorist. Kiefer says they need to evacuate the mall immediately. No time for recriminations now; Buchanan orders Curtis to move in. "About time," Curtis takes the time to bitch before relaying the order to his men.
Kiefer's trying to find his way out of the mall's back offices when a guy in a suit comes in, probably wondering why the mall's one guard has been incommunicado for the past fifteen minutes. Kiefer pushes him against the wall and barks through his mask, "I'm a federal agent. Terrorists have released a toxic substance into the ventilation system. You need to evacuate people now." The guy's just gobsmacked, so Kiefer sticks Henchman #2's gun in the guy's face and yells, "Do it now!" Yeah, that's really going to help him think. The guy grabs his walkie-talkie and does it. Too bad Kiefer didn't have access to one of those. Kiefer lowers his gun and asks where the power controls for the ventilation system are, and the guy directs him to a control room door right to the food court. ["Too many gas jokes! Paralyzed!" -- Sars] "Get everybody out now!" Kiefer reiterates, and takes off.
It's 2:45:42 as crowds and crowds of bipedal sheep listen motionlessly to the evacuation notices emanating from the PA system. But when Kiefer pops out into the mall's public area, that gets them moving. It's amazing how much more effective a guy running around with a gun and a gas mask can be than a simple verbal announcement. Kiefer earpieces to Curtis that Henchman #1 is still missing, and tells Curtis to be sure and take him alive. Now that Kiefer's already shot at him, of course. Kiefer vaults up the escalator to the food court, stampeding all before him. Except the people who are already on the ground, choking. They're not so much "stampeding" as "crawling and dying." Kiefer finds his way to the ventilation system control room and doesn't even bother trying the lock before shooting it off. He quickly finds four giant switches, all of which he throws to the "off" position before heading back out to the food court to assess the collateral damage. He reports to Curtis that the gas has stayed in the food court. "I have at least eleven people down. I need assistance, I need assistance now." There's one little girl collapsed against a pillar. Kiefer crouches down, puts his mask on her head, and schleps her right on out of there. Which sounds heroic and all, but if he's overcome by the gas and falls while carrying her, she's going to end up with catastrophic multiple organ failure and a busted collarbone. As for the other ten-plus victims, I'm sure Kiefer would be personally hauling them out too if he didn't have a cracked rib.
Curtis is about to lead his men into the mall with these basic instructions: "Masks on. Inject anyone who's down and get them outside as soon as possible." But before they can enter, Kiefer the big hero rushes out with the unconscious girl in his arms, not only blocking access to the building, but also making everyone pay attention to his patient. An agent appears at his elbow with a shot of atropine, which Kiefer injects into her femoral artery right through her jeans. And then she starts getting better again, because Kiefer is just that damn good.
Buchanan earpieces to Kiefer, "We've secured the exits." Uh, yeah, that's a great idea during an evacuation. Really stellar. But his point is that Henchman #1 might have escaped before the lockdown, in which case he may have taken with him their only chance of finding Erwich. Kiefer duhs back that they can use the tracking device on the remote trigger, which Henchman #1 still has on him. Chloe gets on that at 2:48:15, and quickly ascertains that Henchman #1 appears to be moving away from the mall on foot. So can they maybe unsecure the exits now? Curtis flags down an agent and puts him in charge of the scene while he and Kiefer go after Henchman #1. By the way, Kiefer's patient is awake now. AHH! ZOMBIE! Sorry, I really am done now. Kiefer tells her she'll be fine, and dashes off with Curtis.
Henchman #1 hops a wall somewhere and finds himself in the parking lot of an apartment complex, where he breaks into and steals a parked car. Unlike the canister, he manages to hot-wire the vehicle without any remote tech support, and he's on his way. And on behalf of Stee and everyone else who's ever had their car stolen, fuck you, Henchman #1. And because I forgot to say it six episodes ago, fuck you, too, Kiefer. It's 2:49:26.
We come back at 2:53:52. As he's driving his getaway car, Henchman #1 pulls out his cell phone to call Erwich with an update as to how their little field test is going: "Rossler, or whoever he was, killed [Henchman #2] and tried to stop us." Confused, Erwich asks whether Henchman #1 is being followed. Henchman #1 is sure he isn't, so Erwich tells him to come back to the garage. Where, I assume, they've just been picking off all the other mechanics as they come back from lunch, one by one. Because on the one hand, brawny bike mechanics, but on the other hand, full and logy. It bears mentioning that Erwich looks like he's thinking more than he's saying. Perhaps he's just now realizing that maybe releasing a cloud of nerve gas in a location that's ten minutes away from where he's currently standing wasn't the best idea he ever had in the first place. At least not without checking which way the wind was blowing.
Just so we know that Henchman #1 is being followed, we get a couple of brief shots of Chloe tracking him on her laptop and Kiefer answering, "We're six blocks out." But I guess there's a fine line between being followed and being tracked, isn't there?
Jogging up to his stolen office at CTU, McGill has taken it upon himself to call the President and let him know that things didn't exactly go as ordered. "I thought it was important to let you know what was happening," he explains. Considering how this call is going, the final insult of McGill's mugging is the fact that he got to keep his cell phone. Logan bitches at him, "What's happening is I sent you over there to make sure that CTU is running smoothly in a time of crisis, and you seem to be incapable of doing that." McGill says there was nothing he could do when Kiefer refused the order, but Logan gives one of his "I'm not interested in excuses" speeches and cuts off the call with a threat to replace McGill. "But I was mugged!" McGill fails to wail down the dead connection.
It's 2:55:12 as Novick comes over to tell Logan that the body count at the mall is much lower than feared: "It appears the fatalities will be limited to between ten and twenty people." Logan is flooded with relief, although he fails to call back McGill and apologize for bitching him out just now. That's just not how he rolls. Logan's first question to Novick is, of course, about the media, and then he asks about the other nineteen canisters. Novick explains how CTU is tracking Henchman #1: "They believe there's a good chance he'll lead them to Erwich and the rest of the canisters," Novick concludes. I can't believe Novick hasn't learned to avoid phrases like "believe" and "good chance" around Logan, considering those are phrases that send him spinning off into one of his pointy-haired tirades, but this time the President only says, "All right. Good." So now, on top of everything else, terrorists have kidnapped Logan and replaced him with a replica? Or maybe Logan's just less touchy about his buzzwords at five minutes before the hour. Novick's last item of business is to tell Logan that Walt's wife has arrived at Not Camp David, and that FLOTUS is on her way to meet her for a little girl talk. Don't girls always say to each other, "Your still-warm husband was a liar, traitor, assassin, conspirator, coward, weasel, and right-wing nut bar, and he cost me ten bucks by hanging himself with his belt instead of his tie"? I don't know, I'm never in the room when it happens.
There's not much to tell about this scene. It's just a lot of teary grief-scene clichés, with nothing much notable said except for Mrs. Walt's regret that she wasn't with her husband today. So...Mrs. Walt was in California, even though her husband works in Washington, D.C., but she wasn't staying at Not Camp David? She seems awfully devastated given what I've been able to glean about their marriage from the few facts at my disposal. Anyway, the point is that when it comes right down to it, FLOTUS doesn't have the heart to tell Walt's widow the truth. She leaves the room, defeated, but no less disgusted with her husband. You can tell by the way she glares at him when she finds him lurking and smirking (smlirking?) outside the door. And then they hang each other.
I think we've all learned something from that scene, but more importantly, we've given Henchman #1 time to arrive back at the motorcycle garage. Chloe reads out the exact address, and Kiefer says they need to move fast to prevent the release of any more gas. Buchanan agrees at 2:58:47. McGill tells them to go ahead, and Kiefer masks up, giving the order to the support teams to do the same. In other splitscreen windows, Logan is back with Novick, FLOTUS is back with Mrs. Walt already for some reason, and the folks at CTU look pensive.
Henchman #1 runs into the motorcycle garage, every phoneme of his body language reading, "Where is everybody?" Because everybody's gone. But not far; from down the street, Erwich is watching through binoculars from behind the wheel of the latest in their series of vehicles as Kiefer and a bunch of other gas-masked CTU agents rush toward the garage. Erwich calmly picks up something that has a prominent antenna, and I think he's going to blow the place up by remote (because if you're going to be on a long sea voyage, and I'll just let you complete that thought yourself), but it's just his phone. Meanwhile, Kiefer and Curtis are out of their vehicle and getting ready to enter the garage.
Inside which, Henchman #1's phone is ringing. He answers it and it's Erwich, telling him he was followed after all. "You know what to do," Erwich tells his henchman. And Kiefer appears in the doorway just in time to see him do it. "No!" Kiefer roars as Henchman #1 shoots himself in the head. Kiefer rushes over to the dead man as Curtis takes a reading and sees that the air is clean. And so is the garage; not a terrorist or canister in the place. Kiefer reports in, "Erwich is gone, the canisters are gone, we've got nothing here. Dammit!" And from his vantage point across the street, Erwich calmly pulls a gray pickup out into traffic and drives off with two guys to him, leaving me wondering where he picked up not only a new vehicle, but another henchman. It's 3:00:00.