Due to some graphic violence, viewer discretion is advised. Oh, and Kiefer's naked. Beep beep beep beep beep. 24. Previouslys. Bitchelle puts Soul Patch in touch with Kiefer, who tells him that he's on the verge of getting evidence of the Cyprus recordings but CTU has to stay out of it. The evidence, according to a dying SeventhCoralSnake, is inside of him…literally. It's in a microchip planted inside his torso. Meanwhile, Rolaide, PoorMan'sHumeCronyn, and the DoD are pressuring Palmer to bomb Fauxraqistan, Akalakistan, and Tofurkey…now! The following takes place between 2:00 AM and 3:00 AM.
Division. A general is briefing Palmer, his staff, and the Joint Chiefs about the surprise attack. According to this general, bomb squadrons are on their way to three targets. He points to Fauxraqistan, Tofurkey, and Akalakistan on a map, and he's basically pointing to Libya, Algeria, and Tunisia. Palmer is uncomfortable and testy at this meeting. This leads Vice President Prescott, a.k.a. PoorMan'sJoeLieberman, to ask Palmer if he's really behind these air strikes. Okay, you know how, in those advice columns like Ann Landers and Ask Beth, some girl would write in -- about once a month, it seemed -- and say, "I'm a virgin, and my boyfriend says that if I really really loved him, I'd go 'all the way,' but I don't feel ready…"? Well, basically that's what we have with Palmer and the Joint Chiefs of Staff. If Palmer rilly rilly loves his country and wants to do something about the B-O-M-B, he'll let them bomb these Middle Eastern countries now and prove it. Palmer informs everyone present that Kiefer may have evidence that proves the Cyprus recordings are a fake, and that they need to wait for his okay before they retaliate. "Mr. President," says the general. "This battle plan requires us to surprise the enemy with overwhelming force. We will lose that advantage if we wait any longer." He goes on to claim that by losing that surprise advantage, the U.S. will suffer up to 20,000 casualties. Okay, you know how, in those aforementioned advice columns, another girl -- or who knows, maybe the same girl -- would write in and say, "My boyfriend says he has a condition called 'blue balls' and that if I don't go all the way with him, the sperm will build up in his penis and kill him. Is that true?" And then invariably the columnist's answer will be, "Tell your boyfriend to just jerk himself off already," or something more polite and clinical. Basically, that's what they're using to convince Palmer to go all the way: the blue balls defense. If you don't bomb now, 20,000 of us will die. "Then we have no choice but to proceed with the plan as stated," says Palmer, reluctantly letting the Joint Chiefs of Staff lead him into the backseat of their dad's Impala and remove his panties. Dear Diary: Remember how I wanted my first time bombing a country to be special…like in a meadow full of wildflowers? Well, that totally never happened. Also? I've got a pimple.
Doc In The Box. Kiefer is on the phone, trying to reach Palmer to tell him that he is in possession of proof needed to call off WWIII. The unseen secretary on other end of the line is not putting Palmer on the phone. Is she part of the conspiracy? Or is she just sick of these urgent velvety phone calls from Kiefer where he says things like "20 million people will die if you put me through to his voicemail!" I imagine she's just as passive-aggressive with annoying callers as I was back when I was a secretary my first year out of college. Meanwhile, PoorMan'sArmandAssante is examining the microchip under a magnifying glass. Kiefer gets Soul Patch on the phone and tells him that he is bringing a chip into CTU with the evidence that proves the Cyprus recordings were forged. "How do you know it's real?" asks Soul Patch. Kiefer explains that the chip was implanted into the Seventh Coral Snake's body and should therefore be taken very seriously. Soul Patch wants Kiefer's exact location so he can send them an aerial escort, but Kiefer changes the subject and asks Soul Patch to call Palmer and tell him what they've found. Soul Patch doesn't want to until they've verified the evidence. Kiefer begs him to at least tell Palmer what's going on. Soul Patch is momentarily immune -- rebellious even -- to the Sutherland velvet. He promises nothing. And their phone connection is getting static-y anyway, so they hang up.
PMAA calls Kiefer over and shows him a tracking device on the chip. "I don't understand," says Cate, obviously needing to have a line eventually. Kiefer explains that this is how the snipers must have found SCS at the warehouse. Okay, so let me get this straight. The evil oil men had their hands on the chip long enough to plant a tracking device on it, but they didn't think to, say, destroy it, so instead they let SCS have it back and implant it into his body? And then they gave him a head start and then tried to kill him? What is this? A fox hunt? Fortunately, PMAA is familiar with this kind of tracker, and thinks he can remove it from the chip without damaging the evidence inside.
CTU. Poor Bitchelle is getting shit from everyone these days…I mean, "hours." Presently, she's on the phone with that guy Danny whom she spoke to a couple of episodes ago. Danny wants to know things about the B-O-M-B that Bitchelle isn't authorized to tell him, and he's not being gracious about it. Bitchelle tells him that everything's being taken care of and to "sit tight." Danny isn't having any of it. He hangs up on her. Soul Patch enters, and Bitchelle mentions to him that there's something wrong with the phones. Soul Patch explains that the network has been flooded since the B-O-M-B went off. He asks her who she was just on the phone with. "No one," says Bitchelle. Soul Patch takes this at face value and changes the subject, telling Bitchelle about his call from Kiefer. Bitchelle urges Soul Patch to call the president. Soul Patch says he'll think about it, and crutches himself out of there. Bitchelle watches him leave with a mournful and confused expression on her face.
Doc In The Box. PoorMan'sArmandAssante is still trying to separate the tracker from the chip while Cate plays scrub nurse. Kiefer looks out the window and sees three men in leather jackets getting out of a car; they're wearing headsets like the ones Madonna's backup dancers used on the Blonde Ambition tour. A transmitter they're holding is signaling them to enter the building. Kiefer tells PMAA to hurry up with the tracker-ectomy. PMAA tells Kiefer to stop bothering him. The chip is finally separated from the tracker. Kiefer takes the tracker, which PMAA assures him is still functional, and tells Cate and PMAA that he wants to lead José, Luis, and Slam away from the chip so that they can get it to CTU. He tells PMAA and Kate to meet him a few blocks away with the chip. If he's not there in fifteen minutes, they are to deliver the chip to CTU. "Be careful," says Cate. Kiefer assures her that he'll be okay, and they separate.
José, Luis, and Slam's transmitter detects that their target is moving. They wander through the crowded clinic looking totally inconspicuous with their headsets, their shaved heads, and their GPS monitor, and come upon the SeventhCoralSnake's dead body. One of them flips off the sheet and sees the bloody hole where the transmitter should have been. Meanwhile, Cate and PMAA are hiding in the room. When Jose leaves, they sneak out and head, presumably, to the parking lot. The time is 02:09:07 AM.
The time is 02:13:20 AM. Klockwise from the top left, Bitchelle continues to look distressed, Soul Patch procrastinates in his office, and Palmer's date rape…I mean, "meeting" with the Joint Chiefs of Staff continues. District. The meeting/date rape breaks, and PoorMan'sHumeCronyn tells Palmer about erupting violence in California. Apparently, the governor of California wants Palmer to dispatch the National Guard just like he did in Marietta. Rolaide enters. She doesn't have "the boy's name" for Palmer as he asked last week, but she does say that Soul Patch is on the emergency network, wanting to speak to Palmer. "Why the emergency network?" asks Palmer. Rolaide replies that the phone lines at CTU have been overloaded with calls since the B-O-M-B went off, and 90 percent of the system is down. PMHC offers to speak to Soul Patch, but Palmer has Rolaide patch him to their speakerphone. Soul Patch tells them that Kiefer klaims to have found the source recordings edited together to make the Cyprus tape. Soul Patch admits to being conflicted about telling Palmer about these recordings, since no one has seen them, let alone authenticated them, yet. "Your confidence in Kiefer is kurious," says PMHC. "An hour ago, you told me that he assaulted CTU personnel and took illegal custody of a witness." Soul Patch tells them that Kiefer had to do what Kiefer had to do, since the SeventhCoralSnake refused to deal with CTU. Palmer asks Soul Patch if he believes that the source recordings are any more authentic than the Cyprus tapes themselves. Soul Patch says he isn't sure. Palmer sighs, thanks him for his "candor," and promises to take his information "under advisement." They hang up.
Palmer gets up out of this chair that looks like a something you'd sit on when you ride an Amtrak train, sighs again, and tells OMHC and Rolaide that he's calling off the attack. PMHC wants to go over the "cons" again, but Palmer says they've talked enough. "I appreciate your respect for Kiefer, but you know the man's reputation…" says PMHC. "I know the man," says Palmer. Well, tell that to your secretary, Palmer, because she's not taking his calls. "Then maybe you should start thinking about your own reputation," says PMHC, explaining to Palmer that his lack of response to the B-O-M-B may be perceived as "personal weakness." Um, not to beat a dead horse, but waiting a few days to retaliate is not a "lack of response." Rolaide jumps in and reminds Palmer of the Pentagon's assessment showing that stopping and then restarting the military operation will cost "tens of thousands of lives." "That's an acceptable risk," says Palmer, "if the alternative is waging war on three innocent countries." PMHC points out that these countries have not always proven to be "innocent" in the past, and urges Palmer in the "strongest possible terms" to reconsider. Palmer looks at Rolaide for support, but she gives him this basset hound face. "I've made up my mind," says Palmer, ordering them to set up a conference call with the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
CTU. Bitchelle sees Soul Patch looking at her, so she walks over to where he is standing on the catwalk. Tony tells Michelle that he informed the President about Jack's evidence. "You did the right thing, Soul Patch," says Bitchelle. Tony tells her to confirm that the chip is real when Kiefer brings it to CTU. Bitchelle goes off to prepare the Whatever Technology that verifies stuff like that. Soul Patch exits, but before he does, Bitchelle thanks him.
The Kiefmobile. As Yusuf drives towards Jack's meeting point, Kate tries to phone CTU. All the circuits are clogged, and she can't get through. Yusuf comments that they are too busy preparing war against his country. "There won't be a war," says Cate, standing by her man and the agency he works for. "They'll get the chip, they'll know the truth." PMAA is all, "You might feel differently if it was your family being threatened." Cate is silent. They pull up to the location. PMAA gets out to look for Kiefer.
Meanwhile, at Doc In The Box, Jose, Luis and Slam follow their monitor into the basement of the clinic. The monitor starts beeping more rapidly in front of a locked door. They kick it in and look around. There is no sign of Kiefer, but the monitor leads them to a folded-up piece of paper on the floor. Inside it is the tracker, but no chip. Jose looks out the window and just happens to see Kiefer running away from Doc In The Box. Another car pulls up in front of Kiefer. Kiefer pulls out a gun and shoots at them, but a guy named Ronnie Stark shoots Kiefer with a taser. He falls to the ground. On Stark's orders, the men carry Kiefer's limp body back inside the clinic. The time is 02:21:05 AM.
The time is 2:25:16 AM. Yet another warning of graphic violence appears. Klockwise from the top left, Cate sits in deep thought in the Kiefmobile, PMHC makes a phone call, and PMAA paces the parking lot. At division, PMHC is informing what I assume is someone from the Defense Department that Palmer isn't going through with the attack. Rolaide enters, they both bitch about the "blowback" from Palmer's change of heart. Rolaide asks PMHC if he knows anything about a meeting that the Vice President called with the cabinet for the end of the episode…I mean, "in an hour and a half." PMHC asks what the agenda for the meeting is. Rolaide replies that she doesn't know, because she wasn't invited. She only heard about it secondhand. "Do you think it could have anything to do with the President calling off the military strikes?" asks PMHC. "What else could it be?" says Rolaide. PMHC asks if she's told Palmer. Rolaide says that she didn't, because it could turn out to be just a rumor, but asks PMHC to keep her posted if he hears anything.
And now the moment we've all been waiting for and warned against: naked Kiefer. Kiefer lies on the floor of Doc In The Box puking his guts out while José, Luis, and Slam go over his vomit with a metal detector. Wow, I'm so turned on! Meanwhile, a strategically placed arm with a gun blocks our view of his naked butt. Meanwhile, TeutonicTerrorDude unfurls a sleeve full of sinister-looking instruments. And when I say "sinister," I don't mean "fun, sexy 'n' sinister." I mean sinister. We're talking the kind of porn you have to fly down to South America to see because the people who are performing in it are political prisoners. Now, when I saw last week's previews and saw that Kiefer was going to be naked and tortured, I was totally excited. I had no idea that they were going to actually show, um, torture. I thought they were just going to show "Fox" torture. You know? Like when they have lesbians on Fox, they don't show gray-haired, crew-cutted gym teachers wearing flannel shirts -- they show Tiffani-Amber and Mia Kirshner? I was thinking Kiefer would be bound and gagged, and they'd play with his nipples until he got really sweaty. I didn't think it would be so hardcore.
But then, I'm one of these people that members of the BDSM community would like to hurt...and not in a good way. I'm a tourist. I love the idea of S&M, but not the actual execution. For instance, there's this S&M bar here in NYC called The Lure. Apparently, The Lure is considered really passé by "real" S&M people. Like when everyone at my high school was going "punk," there were people who gave themselves Mohawks in their parents' garages with a razor, and then there were people who went to a salon like John Dellaria's and said, "Give me a Mohawk!" The former looked down on the latter and called them "posers." The Lure is considered a "poser" S&M bar. The guys there don't go to biker shops to get their leather -- they go to Barneys. And I am considered a poser, even amongst the crowd at The Lure. When it first opened, I went a few times with some friends, and I lost my mind. These men looked so hot in their leather outfits and their cigars and their nipple rings. I was in heaven. So then I actually get into conversations with some of them and they're all, "Are you into water sports?" or "Could I put this cigar out on your chest?" and I'm like, "Could we just make out?" I'm like the S&M equivalent of one of those white high school kids who listens to rap, wears track suits and baggy jeans, and says "yo" a lot, but when my Honda Civic breaks down in Compton, I freak out and call my parents on my cell phone to come pick me up.
Then there was this one guy I went on a few dates with, who confessed to me that he was really into being spanked. I thought, okay, I can handle this. If you're into it, I'm into it. Sure, I have a low pain threshold, but if I'm the one doing the spanking, I can totally deal. Or so I thought. I pictured that I'd hit his butt nine or ten times, get off on how butch I felt, and then we'd have hot sex. Turned out that he wanted to be spanked for hours. Hours! And that's all he wanted to do. Let me tell you something: it is really hard to keep hitting someone you aren't angry at. In fact, it's really boring. Like, if the television were on, I'd start watching it. Then my arm started to ache to the point where I thought I was developing carpal tunnel syndrome. Also? I was doing it wrong. He kept correcting my form. Apparently I was supposed to be using more of my wrist -- the opposite of everything I'd learned in tennis lessons. Plus, I was supposed to be straightening my fingers and holding them closely together -- or apart, I totally forget now. It would be like, "Uh, thank you sir, could I have another? Oh yeah! Oh, and remember what I said about keeping your palms flat?" The whole thing turned into one of those really bad junior high gym classes where everyone makes fun of you for throwing like a girl and all you want to do is get the hell out of there, go back to the library, and read old issues of Life Magazine.
So anyway, TeutonicTortureDude gets a call from this white-haired guy who is wearing a suit and flying around in a helicopter over Los Angeles. I assume this is one of the evil oilmen who was behind the Cyprus recording. "You got the chip?" asks EvilOilMan. "Not yet," says TeutonicTortureDude, who goes on to explain that he's captured the "agent who took it off SeventhCoralSnake," but they haven't found the chip on him…or in his vomit, for that matter. EvilOilMan guesses correctly that the agent is Kiefer. "Let me talk to him," he says. José, Luis, and Slam hoist Kiefer up by pulling on some chains that are on a pulley and tied to Kiefer's wrists. His thigh moves just in time to prevent us from seeing Li'l Kiefer. TeutonicTortureDude hands Kiefer the phone. EvilOilMan congratulates Kiefer for being a hero. "The world doesn't have to know about this little arrangement that you and I are about to make," says EvilOilMan, who all of a sudden is bearing a striking resemblance to Chris Elliott. "Who am I talking to?" gasps Kiefer. "Gimme a break!" says EvilChrisElliott. "I need the chip, so let's not be pigs here." He offers Kiefer a large sum of money in return for the chip. "It's not for sale," says Kiefer, who goes on to give EvilChrisElliott a lecture on how starting wars for profit is bad. EvilChrisElliott cuts him off and urges him to come up with a price. "I already gave you my answer," says Kiefer. "When TeutonicTortureDude finishes working on you, you'll give me another," says EvilChrisElliott. Their call is over, but Kiefer can't hand TeutonicTortureDude the phone because his hands are tied, so there's this really funny moment where EvilChrisElliott is yelling for TeutonicTortureDude and finally Kiefer has tell TTD that he's wanted on the phone. They discuss how Kiefer is notorious for being hard to "break." "There's a time issue," says EvilChrisElliott. "Then you better let me get started," says TeutonicTortureDude, hanging up. He gives Kiefer one last chance to give up the chip. When he refuses, they put what looks like an empty roll of toilet paper into his mouth and start sterilizing the instruments of torture. Kiefer's eyes bug out when he sees TeutonicTortureDude coming towards him with a blade. I hate to say it, but he's totally reminding me of Tom Arnold right now. TeutonicTortureDude makes an incision in his abdomen.
Meanwhile, at CTU, Bitchelle is at her desk, setting up the Whatever Software they need to authenticate the chip. Lesbo-Carrie enters. "You wanted to see me?" says Lesbo-Carrie. Bitchelle tells her she's having trouble accessing the software because the "indexing function" is locked. She asks LC to unlock it. LC offers to authenticate the chip herself instead. "I don't need you to do it," says Bitchelle. "I just need you to unlock the indexing function." Oh, I think we need them to do it, if you know what I mean. So then Lesbo-Carrie is all, "What is your problem?" and they have a big argument right there on the floor of CTU. And by "floor," I mean the lower level of CTU where the less senior members work, not the actual floor where they'd have room to roll around and stuff. As they fight, Soul Patch hears the commotion and summons Bitchelle to his office. "What was that about?" asks Soul Patch. Bitchelle explains that Lesbo-Carrie wasn't following orders. Instead of calling Carrie to his office and ordering her to stop the insubordination, he demands to know what's going on between the two of them. Because he's got time to kill, what with the war about the start and all. There's always time for a dyke drama, right? After much hesitation, Bitchelle tells Soul Patch that she and Carrie used to be friends when she worked for Carrie at Division. Bitchelle introduced Carrie to her brother, who was married and had kids. He left his family for Carrie. Then Lesbo-Carrie got bored -- I'm assuming it might have been that whole penis between his legs or something -- and dumped him. Danny subsequently lost everything -- his job, his family --and even tried to commit suicide. Okay, maybe we're not supposed to be taking this story at face value. But if we are, the hell? Sure, this explains why these two women don't get along, but why would Lesbo-Carrie, who I guess is now Bi-Carrie-ous, be stalking the sister of a man she got tired of? If I ruined some guy's life, and then had to work for his sister, I certainly wouldn't be making goo-goo eyes at her all day long. I'd be sweet as pie…or downright invisible. "It's a shame you two have to work together," says Soul Patch. "But you do." He asks Bitchelle rise above this and not let it affect her very important work. The phone rings. It's security for Bitchelle. Danny's there to see her. Dun dun dun! So Bitchelle is all, "Are we okay here?" Soul Patch nods and watches her butt as she does downstairs to meet her brother.
Down on the floor -- and by "floor," I still mean what I said a paragraph ago -- Danny enters with his temporary visitor's pass slapped on his Men's Wearhouse blazer like a scout badge. Bitchelle asks him what he's doing there. Danny says that he tried to call, but the phones weren't working. He only wanted to clear things up between them. He apologizes for yelling at her. "Apology accepted, but you have to go now," says Bitchelle, nudging him out the door. But then Danny has to speak for all of the citizens of Los Angeles when he claims that they are all freaked, because no one knows what to do, and that's why he's been calling her maniacally the whole day. Bitchelle tries once again to assure him that CTU is taking care of everything and everything will be okay while she tries getting him toward the exit. That's when he sees Bi-Carrie-ous. "I didn't know she was working here," he says, becoming unglued…more than usual, that is. He walks over to Bi-Carrie-ous and starts yelling at her about how she doesn't return his phone calls. Bitchelle tries to separate them, but it gets violent. Soul Patch has to come down and pry Danny's hands from around Bi-Carrie-ous's neck. Security comes to take him away. Bitchelle is horrified and hides in Soul Patch's arms. The time is 02:33:58.
The time is 02:38:11 AM. Klockwise from the top left, Bi-Carrie-ous is working her neck injury, Kiefer is ridiculed and mocked by Romans, forced to wear a crown of thorns and carry a cross up a mountain surrounded by thieves and other common criminals…oh, by the way, Happy Easter…and Rolaide walks really really fast through the hallway of Division. She approaches PMHC, and they walk wordlessly into a conference room. Hey, how much space does Division have that they can just hold all of these rooms used exclusively by the President and his cabinet? But then, how are they torturing Kiefer at Doc In The Box, without anyone thinking that something was amiss with these three men, who look like they're doing security for Helmut Lang and who have stripped a guy naked and are slicing him up with medical instruments? I think tonight's lesson is -- as with most Bible stories -- largely about the virtues of hospitality. Anyway, PMHC tells Rolaide he found out that the Vice President is meeting with cabinet members. They both assume it's about the President's decision to call off the attack. PMHC says that he is secretly meeting with a guy named Jesper Isberg, a Defense Department official who has information. Rolaide wants to know when and where they're meeting. PMHC doesn't want to tell her. "PMHC, I'm the one who brought you into this and I want to know what's going on firsthand before we take this to the President," says Rolaide. PMHC tells her about a storage room on the fifth floor. He tells her to meet him up there.
CTU. A CTU medical whatever practitioner examines Bi-Carrie-ous's neck, and Soul Patch crutches over to where Bitchelle is crying quietly to herself in the corner. Bitchelle lies and says she's on her way to IT to access that Whatever Software. "But IT is that way," says Soul Patch, pointing in the opposite direction. Bitchelle needs a moment. The day has finally gotten to her. Soul Patch comforts her, and before you know it, they are kissing. Oh, and then Bi-Carrie-ous enters. What a wacky hospital! Oh, and Bi-Carrie-ous is there because Chappelle is looking for Soul Patch. Aw! Father Phil is back.
Okay, I've seen this video at a gay bar in the East Village. It was directed by John Rutherford for Falcon, and Tom Chase starred in it. Not that I watch gay porn or anyway. Kiefer's naked body is suspended by his chained wrists. He roasts like a wild animal as TeutonicTortureDude continues to make incisions in his body. Wow, this is like that Lifetime movie about cutting. Except it's way creepier. Kiefer continues to make goofy faces around the toilet paper roll, which only makes me want to take this scene less seriously. Jeez, now he's channeling that guy Reuben Kincaid from The Partridge Family. Oh, and this move is totally cold. TeutonicTortureDude takes a sip from his clear plastic bottle of expensive mineral water, and holds it up to Kiefer like he's doing a fucked-up magic show. He then heats a blade with a blowtorch and demonstrates how he can melt the plastic of his bottle with it. Then he sticks it into Kiefer. Kiefer's eyes bulge, and he moans loudly and shakes like Ellen Burstyn getting electroshock therapy at the end of Requiem for a Dream. Stop it! I can't take this scene seriously. Get him a better gag! Preferably in black. And get rid of this toilet paper roll. Nevertheless, José -- or maybe Luis -- interrupts to inform TTD that he may kill Kiefer if he's not kareful. "Don't ever touch me again," says TeutonicTortureDude coldly. Wow! What are you saying? Could TeutonicTortureDude have issues? I'd never have guessed. You know, sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much. And I have to stare at him intensely until my cell phone rings. TeutonicTortureDude answers his phone. It's EvilChrisElliott, wanting to know if Kiefer's given up the chip yet. Hey, EvilChris? Torture takes time. Just read A Man by Oriana Fallaci if you don't believe me. "Get me that chip, TeutonicTortureDude!" says EvilChrisElliott. "I will," says TeutonicTortureDude.
PMHC arrives at the fifth floor corridor and meets up with Rolaide. Okay, this part is really gay, so get ready. Rolaide wants to know who they're meeting. PMHC asks her if she's ever heard of Section 4 of the Twenty-Fifth Amendment. Rolaide answers dutifully that the cabinet can vote to remove a president from office if they decide he is unfit to carry out his duties. The vice president would then become acting president. "PoorMan'sJoeLieberman can't do that," gasps Rolaide. "PMHC, we're talking about a palace coup." Jesper Isberg arrives. PMHC has him give them a moment. PMHC then asks Lynne where she stands with regard to Palmer's decision. Rolaide says that, although she does not agree with the President's decision, it was his decision to make. She insists that she is loyal to Palmer, and believes that PMJL should be charged with treason. "Are you sure that's how you feel?" asks PMHC. Rolaide answers yes. "I was afraid you'd say that," says PMHC. PMHC calls in Isberg and steps out of the room, apologizing. Isberg blocks Rolaide from the door. Rolaide is shocked that PMHC is aligned with PMJL. "David wouldn't listen to reason," says PMHC. He tells her he can't stand by when Palmer's indecisiveness could cost 20,000 American lives. Rolaide puts up a fight, but Isberg locks her in the room. PMHC orders him to not let her out unless Isberg hears it from him directly. The time is 02:49:02 AM.
The time is 02:53:16 AM. Okay, PMAA and Cate are in this parking lot, and PMAA gets Arab-bashed. No, really. That's what happens, and I'm not even going to explain it any further because it's so gay.
Oh and then Soul Patch gets a call from Chappelle. Chappelle is coming by to check things out. Oh, and we know how fascinating Chappelle storylines are, so I'm not even going into this one either. Soul Patch then has a phone conversation with Bitchelle where they discuss what their kiss meant.
TeutonicTortureDude orders the unconscious Kiefer to be woken up. He brings up Spawn, suggesting that Kiefer wouldn't want his daughter to be an orphan. Well, actually, he was fine with it a few hours ago. Kiefer resists, probably comforted momentarily by the thought of an existence without Spawn. TeutonicTortureDude has José (or Luis) hit Kiefer with the stun gun again. Kiefer writhes in pain. TeutonicTortureDude instructs the man to do it again, but the man says that Kiefer is no good to them if he's dead. TeutonicTortureDude takes the taser and does it himself. Kiefer's eyes roll to the back of his head, and his body goes slack. TeutonicTortureDude orders the men to wake him up, but when they snap amyl nitrate under Kiefer's nose, he does not regain consciousness. José, Luis, or Slam says that Jack is dead. "Cut it out," yells TeutonicTortureDude. He tells José, Luis, and Slam to cut Kiefer's bindings and let him down. TeutonicTortureDude frantically does CPR on Kiefer, and yells for the men to find epinephrine. The time is 02:59:58…02:59:59…03:00:00 AM.