Day 2: 10:00 PM -- 11:00 PM

Previouslys. Mason gets too sick to work, so he steps down, leaving Soul Patch in charge of CTU. Spawn claws her way out of the non-B-O-M-B shelter. The Lonnie-bomber gives her a handgun as a parting gift to ward off cougars and rapists. Oops! Getting ahead of myself. Palmer shows Lady Mac the door. Marie goes down and flips her wig. Kiefer finds the second B-O-M-B in an outbuilding at Norton Airfield. Moby says he can't say when it will detonate.

Norton Airfield. A garage door opens. Kiefer and a team of CTU agents pour forth like gang members in Michael Jackson's Bad video. They have the B-O-M-B on this cute little go-cart, and they wheel it into an empty hangar so Moby and his helpers can diffuse it. Wow. According to the credits, there's an actor named Maximillian Martini who just joined the cast. Do you get beaten up in grade school with a name like Maximillian Martini, or do you get laid at an unusually young age? An SUV with a siren blaring pulls up outside. A weak and sweaty Mason emerges from it. Uh, Mason? We can't miss you if you don't leave. We said goodbye to you last week. Tears streamed down our collective cheeks as the clock "plinked" silently. What are you doing back here? Kiefer asks him the same question. Mason answers that he wanted to get a last look at the very thing that killed him. Uh, whatever. If I were dying of lung cancer brought on by exposure to asbestos, I wouldn't be spending my last days on earth at the public junior high school I attended when I was fourteen, would I? Moby reports to Kiefer that the B-O-M-B is tamper-proof. Number one, is anything really "tamper-proof" outside of a movie or TV show? I mean, I'm no physics major, but it seems to me that in order for something to happen (i.e. for a bomb to detonate on a timer), some action has to occur in order to make that happen. So there would have to be something you could do to stop the bomb from exploding if you had a screwdriver and a blowtorch and a team of highly qualified N.E.S.T. agents. Kiefer orders Goodrich to find a fast plane so that the B-O-M-B can be flown somewhere else. There are no jets at this airfield, so Goodrich needs to find the best thing. Goodrich knows of a "rock-solid" Cessna that will do. Kiefer sends him off to get it. Then Sweaty Kiefer and Sweaty Mason exchange an extra long glance as Kiefer pulls out his cell phone and calls Palmer's office. While he waits for the president to pick up, Kiefer asks a techie who looks like Don Cheadle how much time they have. "Fifty-five minutes" is the answer. Oh, how convenient.

Is there any sight more heterosexually delicious to a male predator than that of a Spawn desperate and afraid, walking all alone along a deserted road and clutching a phallic-shaped flashlight while she tries to flag down a ride? Get out of my rape fantasies and into my car! A pair of bikers zooms by to check her out. It's just so Charlene Tilton circa 1979. You know how they say that people can smell fear? Well, someone has to bottle this scent that Spawn is giving off right now. They can call it "Smell of Fear." Wear it and be assailable. For the upcoming holidays, they can offer a Christmas Bonus Pack that contains body lotion and eau de toilette and call it "The Gift of Fear" and have author Gavin De Becker endorse it. Finally a car slows down for Spawn. The male driver seems nice at first, and asks her where she's headed. Hey, whaddya know? He's going to San Jose too. Of course, they've got to stop at a 7-11 for some electrical tape and some latex gloves, but Spawn should be at Aunt Carol's in no time. Spawn is a little freaked that this guy is so enthusiastic to have her in his car, so she changes her mind and decides not to take the ride. Either that or she was skeeved out by how much he looked like Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20 when he opened the door and the interior light went on. Skeeve isn't taking no for an answer. He gets out of the car to persuade her to get in, and Spawn draws her gun on him. "You don't know how to use that thing," says Skeeve. Spawn pulls the trigger and takes out his window. The guy drives off, calling her a "bitch," and Spawn continues walking down the highway.

Kiefer finally reaches Palmer on the phone. They discuss where they should fly the B-O-M-B. The President tells Kiefer that they need to analyze their options, and he will get back to him in ten minutes.

NSA. All of the usual uniformed extras are at the big table. PoorMan'sHumeCronyn announces that he and Rolaide will do a "point/counterpoint" on the merits of flying the plane over the Pacific Ocean versus flying it over the Mojave Desert, with PMHC taking the ocean while Rolaide takes the desert. You know, if it weren't for the fact that they're discussing where to detonate a nuclear warhead, I'd say their little debate was cute in a Model UN sort of way. PMHC breaks down the disaster impact of flying the B-O-M-B over the Pacific Ocean: destruction of marine life, biodiversity, and the food chain, and the possibility of sea-faring casualties. Lynne does the same for the Mojave Desert, and concludes that, due to the desert's innate uninhabitability, there would be far less destruction of wildlife and/or people. "So it looks like the desert is our best option," says Palmer.

There is one big problem with the desert option, though, according to Rolaide. While the sea option could be carried out by an autopilot, the land option requires that the B-O-M-B detonate in a depression surrounded by mountains to prevent the radiation from spreading. Therefore, it must be flown to a precise location by a human pilot who'd have to basically go down with the plane. "It's essentially a suicide mission," says PMHC. Palmer asks why they can't just push the B-O-M-B out of the plane and keep flying. Rolaide replies that it's "too imprecise." "One man dies to insure the safety of millions," says PMHC. I'm sensing a theme here, but I can't be too sure. Palmer calls Kiefer with the news that they're going with the desert option, and that it will be a suicide mission. Kiefer says that he and the folks at CTU had come to the same conclusion. He tells the president that they already have several volunteers to pilot the plane. "Whoever it is, tell him he has the undying gratitude of every citizen of this entire country," says Palmer. "And tell him we will take care of whatever family he leaves behind." Then he asks Kiefer to call him back when the plane is in the air.

"I don't see any volunteers," says Mason, who has overheard Kiefer's konversation with Palmer and konkluded that Kiefer is taking it upon himself to fly the plane, despite being somewhat of an inexperienced pilot. Mason offers up himself for the flight. "I'm current, I'm instrument-rated and I'm going to be dead by the end of the day anyway," says Mason. Kiefer brushes off his offer, since Mason isn't in great mental shape due to his illness. A lot of people could die if Mason blacks out before he got to the target, Kiefer argues. So what? Just give him that drug they gave Darlene to keep him super-awake and let him on the plane. Nevertheless, Kiefer gets on his radio and orders Goodrich to load up the plane. "We are a go!" he shouts in his gravelly velvet Sutherland fashion. The time is 10:12:51 PM. Wow, looks like Kiefer's really going to die mid-second-season. And there's only about forty minutes left in the episode. There's no way there'll be a plot twist to insure Kiefer's survival. No, this is it, folks -- Kiefer's really going to die. They have one-upped Buffy's fifth season. Kiefer is going to die -- I repeat, Kiefer is going to die! Whatever.

The time is 10:20:55 PM. Spawn is still hitchhiking along the road. An SUV looms in the distance and slows down. Spawn reaches instinctively to check that she has her handgun in the waistband of her pants. The car pulls up and stops. Behind the wheel is the cougar! Heh, just kidding. It's a sensible-looking woman in her thirties who wants to know if Spawn needs help. Spawn heaves a sign of relief. "I could use a ride," says Spawn, explaining that she was on a date that went sour. The Good Samaritan tells her to get in. Then the soundtrack makes this heaving building chord like we're just all so relieved that a woman picked up Spawn and nothing fucked up is going to happen with a woman. Like a lesbian predator wouldn't stop for Spawn. Then again, there's a lesbian predator working at CTU this "hour," so I can't really argue that there's an under-representation of predatory lesbians on tonight's episode. The Good Samaritan is curious as to why Spawn would be visiting an aunt in San Jose because a date went bad. Spawn explains that it's just too long a story to go into, and asks if she can make a phone call on TGS's cell phone. She wants to call her father.

Kiefer makes his way over to the plane. Moby informs him that he's connected a timer to the B-O-M-B, so Kiefer will know exactly how much time he has left. Kiefer klimbs aboard. Indeed, that clock is ticking. Only thirty-five minutes left until Kiefer almost dies. Oh, I'm sorry. I mean, "dies." Meanwhile, the Hot Asian Dude from Angel is babysitting Cate, who wants to know all about the "autopilot" she presumes will be aboard the desert-bound plane. HAFA basically tells her that a human will be aboard the plane to get it to the precise location, after which he will go down with the plane. Cate asks him who is manning the plane. HAFA informs her that Kiefer is the pilot of Flight 86. Over HAFA's head, she can see Kiefer getting aboard the KieferKraft and strapping himself in. Cate runs up to one of those baker's racks you see in the Hold Everything catalog and shouts Kiefer's name through the cyclone fencing standing between her and the runway. Kiefer's attention is kaptured by Cate's kall. They make eye kontact. But there are no words. Nothing to say. He kloses the kockpit door and starts down the runway. Flight 86 takes off. Flight 86 is in the sky. Sad Cate gets a klose-up. The time is 10:24:31 PM.

The time is 10:28:45 PM. Klockwise from the top left, Flight 86 ascends into the night sky, Kiefer is shown in a moody little close-up, Palmer reads some memo at the big table, and Spawn is on the phone. At NSA, PMHC gets off the phone and announces to Palmer and Rolaide that the plane is three thousand feet in the air and just about the clear city limits. "They'll clear the main population centers in ten minutes, " says PMHC. Which main population centers? L.A. or the Mojave Desert? And how the hell are they going to evacuate either of those locations in ten minutes? I give up. Palmer orders them to prepare Air Force One for a trip to Los Angeles. PMHC and Rolaide are all, "What what WHAT?" PMHC tries to talk him out of a trip to L.A., calling such a move "a little too hands-on." Rolaide agrees with PMHC, and warns him of the civil unrest that will greet him in L.A. once word gets out that the B-O-M-B went off. "The whole country will be traumatized at the news of this B-O-M-B," says Palmer. "I'm going to do everything in my power to assure them that everything is under control." Rolaide is all, "Yes, sir," and makes the call to prepare Air Force One. Oh, by the way, Palmer wants to know who's flying the plane. PMHC tells him that Kiefer is flying the plane. "I'd have told you sooner but I figured you had enough on your mind already," says PMHC. Palmer has nothing to say. He stomps out of his office, presumably to go cry unmanly tears in private.

CTU. Soul Patch is sitting at his new desk at the Kiefer Kube, wallowing in sadness. Bitchelle passes by -- what does she just "happen" to be doing up there? -- and stops. "Are you okay?" asks Bitchelle. Soul Patch informs her that he just found Spawn. "Did Kiefer have a chance to say goodbye?" asks Bitchelle. Soul Patch is all, "Yeah," and then it's time to change the subject real fast to the latest information gleaned from the analysis of Syed Ali's things. According to Bitchelle, they de-encrypted the hard drive and found a recording of a conversation that took place months ago in Cyprus. "Conversation between who?" asks Soul Patch. "Syed Ali and high-ranking government officials from these three countries," says Bitchelle, pointing to her papers so that we, the viewers, can't see what "countries" they're talking about. Okay, it was cute at first not to name the country that has suspected connections with the Second Wave. But now that there are more unnamed countries with connections to the Second Wave being brought into the mix, it's time for them to name the countries already. Either just have it be Iran, Iraq, and Afghanistan, or make up some country name like they did on The West Wing. But don't be just pointing to your notes, Bitchelle. We need a name. Plus I'm too lazy to come up with more two names even half as good as Fauxraqistan. Soul Patch looks at the report that Bitchelle is holding, and reads the names of the two other countries to himself. "So what we're saying is that 'these three countries' not only knew about the B-O-M-B," says Soul Patch, "but they bought it and supplied it to Syed Ali?" Bitchelle nods. Soul Patch asks her if she's sure about the translation. Bitchelle vouches for the translation's authenticity for the most part. Soul Patch exhales through a pair of pursed lips and orders more Whatever Technology tests done on the tapes to confirm the identities of the four men. Bitchelle is on it.

Well, Soul Patch has been the director of CTU for less than one hour, and already he's using speed dial to call the president. A female secretary answers the phone and puts Soul Patch on hold for a few seconds when he asks to speak to Palmer. However, according to the closed captioning, "Novick" is speaking the secretary's lines. While Soul Patch is on hold, he looks down at the floor and sees Bitchelle and Lesbo-Carrie having a discussion. They seem friendly enough, but Bitchelle is making these horizontal slicing motions with her hands as if she's saying, "Hey, I thought I told you not to play with my breasts while we're at work." It's all coming together for Soul Patch right now. He's got his own office, the president takes his calls, and he's on the verge of a potential threesome.