Blip blip blip blip blip. 24. Longest day of Kiefer's life. Blip blip blip blip blip.
Previouslys. An attempt is made on Palmer's life. Kiefer loses the earpiece and begs Gaines to spare the Kieferettes as he is hauled into kustody by the Secret Service. Poor Man's Hume Cronyn tells Palmer that Kiefer made the assassination attempt. Kiefer eskapes and kalls Nina. Bride takes a bullet for Spawn, steals Eli's cell phone, and kalls Nina. Jalapeno is the mole and she's just slashed her wrists. Real time. Day of the presidential primary. Et cetera.
Bird's-eye view of downtown L.A. traffic. Helicopters. Expository news radio broadcast about how no information is available to the public regarding the Palmer assassination attempt. Oh, and there's also a traffic report about how the "freeways are looking pretty good!" Only at first I thought they said, "Three-ways are looking pretty good." Palmer and Lady Mac ride somewhere in their limo and listen to the news. At CTU, a couple of hunky EMTs strap BloodyUnconsciousJalapenoSpice onto a stretcher, but not before making the acute observation that she's "lost a lot of blood." Soul Patch and Nina watch with a mixture of sadness and frustration as Jalapeno is taken from the archives room. Jalapeno is wheeled through the main floor of CTU past all the extras, despite the fact that the archives room is near a back entrance that can be accessed by car -- as we learned when Nina got back to CTU after being shot. This requires Nina to make an announcement that Jalapeno tried to take her own life, and that everyone has to get back to work. Everyone groans as if they're a bunch of high school students who've been given homework over spring break. Then Nina makes Soul Patch call Jalapeno's mom to tell her the bad news. You delegate, girl!
Kiefer's in the new Kiefmobile. He calls Nina on his new speakerphone and thanks her for the "care package" inside. Nina tells Kiefer that Bride of Kiefer called but had to hang up before they could trace the call or learn any important information. Kiefer komplains about being chased by the police. Nina suggests he turn himself in. Kiefer kounters her argument by klaiming that Gaines will kill the Kieferettes if Kiefer is in kustody. Nina goes to her komputer and looks up the lokation of the police roadblocks so that Kiefer can cirkumvent them. Kiefer asks after Jalapeno, and learns that she tried to kill herself. Expositorily, Nina explains that Kyle is still at CTU, but didn't see anything, and that Jalapeno's mother is coming to pick him up. Kiefer kommands her to have some agents stake out Jalapeno's hospital bed so she'll be kwestioned when she regains konsciousness. "Right now she's our best source of information," says Kiefer, trying to avoid various police cars that appear in his line of vision.
Back at The Stable Of Sensuality, Bride of Kiefer tries the cell phone again while Spawn of Kiefer stands guard. Spawn's hair has either grown or acquired a lot of body in the last few minutes. Hee! At CTU, the phone rings, but no one is answering it and Nina is busy helping Kiefer so she's all, "Soul Patch? Line three?" Nina's gonna pay for that in bed later on, I tell ya. Soul Patch reluctantly answers the phone, and Nina tells Kiefer that the police have put an APB out on his ass. Soul Patch tells Nina that Bride is on the phone. I don't know what they've done with the real Soul Patch, but for some reason he doesn't interrogate Bride for a half hour about what she sees in Kiefer; instead, he actually transfers the call over to Nina posthaste. "Do you know where Kiefer is?" asks Bride -- a question she has probably asked Nina before, if you catch my drift. Nina konnects her to Kiefer. She doesn't use the actual words "three-way call," but you know she was thinking it. Okay, you know I was thinking it. Soul Patch walks by, and Nina tells him to march his pretty little ass over to Milo's desk -- which is a whopping three feet away -- and have him put a trace on the call. I want to see how far Nina can go with this new found authoritas. "Soul Patch? These are my mother's panties. I want you to wear them on your head for the rest of the day. Don't ask questions! Palmer's life is in danger! Move!!"
Just as Bride is patched over to Kiefer, Eli and Rick enter the SoS, and Bride has to hide the phone again before she can exchange words with her husband. "What do you want from us?" says Bride to Eli in a loud purposeful voice, alerting Kiefer to the fact that she can't talk. "I think I left my phone in here," says Eli, trying to keep his tone casual in the hopes that Rick doesn't understand how his phone found its way into The Stable Of Sensuality in the first place. Spawn and Bride play dumb. Nina mutes the line so she and Kiefer can talk without being heard by the TerrorMinions. Spawn, always an asset in matters of subterfuge -- not! -- stares up at the rafter where Bride hid the phone. After about forty minutes of this, Rick follows Spawn's gaze and realizes where the phone is hidden. But then he's really cool about it, because he only vacillates between staring at Spawn and staring at the phone for the hour and a half. Fortunately Eli doesn't notice any of this, because he's looking for the phone amidst all the bales of hay. Kiefer then listens helplessly while driving as Eli tries to threaten the Kieferettes into giving up the phone. Could the writers and producers of 24 inject this episode with any more tension and fear? Um, Joel Surnow? I think you're losing your magic touch, because there was this moment during the episode -- I think it was during a snack food commercial -- where I wasn't sitting on the edge of the couch and biting my nails. Could you do something about that? Oh, and I don't mean to nitpick, but only one of my dogs is having a panic attack right now and there's still some cuticle left on my right index finger. Thanks. Nina asks Milo how the trace is going. I don't understand what he's talking about, but to make a long story short, he's not able to get a trace yet.
The time is 9:09:30 AM. A helicopter is seen hovering through the smog of downtown L.A. Radio Broadcast Exposition Dude announces that Palmer is making a campaign appearance at an elementary school despite the "incident" earlier that morning. The Palmers are in a limo with Poor Man's Hume Cronyn. People are lining the streets, cheering on the candidate. Lady Mac is -- surprise, surprise -- trying to convince Palmer not to come clean about Theo right now, since the assassination attempt has bought them some time. PMHC argues to the contrary -- the assassination attempt insures them sympathy, and that now is the best time for Palmer to confess. Palmer wisely argues in turn that the story will come out eventually, so it's best that they control how it's presented. Lady Mac makes some ominous remarks about Palmer owing his success to her. "Don't go against me on this one, Sherry," says Palmer as the limo stops in front of the school. "I can't promise you anything," says Lady Mac in a tight close-up that magnifies all of her glorious bad-ass-ity. But when she steps out of the limo, she's all sweetness and light for the throngs of supporters. We love Lady Mac. Don't we? Don't we?
Back at the new Kiefmobile, Kiefer has parked so that he can load a gun and talk to Nina on the car speakerphone. Nina explains that the "preliminary read on the trace" can't pinpoint the TerrorShack's exact location yet, but they've found the general vicinity. "It's somewhere north of the 10 and east of the 405," she says. Kiefer shields his face from some passing cop cars and begs Nina to stay on the trace. The koast becomes klear, so Kiefer puts the car in drive and goes off in search of the Kieferettes.
Back at CTU, Nina's face is starting to show her lack of sleep. But it's totally sexy. She tries to order Soul Patch around some more, but he's found something interesting on his computer. And, like, this time it's actually not porn-related, so Nina walks over to check it out. Apparently, Jalapeno failed to destroy an email from Gaines. It's encoded, but there's a name in the subject line. "Ted Cofell?" says Nina. "Find out who he is…and pick up my dry cleaning." I'm joking about the dry cleaning. Soul Patch hands the encoded email over to Milo, who complains that he's already trying to trace the location of the Kieferettes. "Well, you're going to have to do two things at once," says Soul Patch. Soul Patch is familiar with the concept of multi-tasking? Who knew? The phone rings again. Operator Soul Patch takes the call. It's the clinic. Jalapeno is dead. Soul Patch tells Nina, and her face gets even more tired. I knew she was dead. But then, do I know that she's dead? I've stopped taking anything for granted on this show. And can I ask what the hell is up with the Chicago Cubs coffee cup that's always featured in some prominent position on Soul Patch's desk? I mean, they can't get the clothes, hair, or furniture consistent from hour to hour and Milo's snack food is constantly changing from shot to shot, but that coffee cup is always right there. That's got to be important. The time is 9:13:53 AM.
Okay, this Campbell's Chunky Soup commercial? It has got to go. It annoyed me when it first started being aired a year ago, and my resentment is only growing as time goes on. I know it's just a commercial, but it bugs me that this football player's mother is interrupting him on the set of a shaving cream ad just to bring him some canned soup. And why does she have to be so rude to the director? And let's consider this soup, shall we? It's liquid salt. It's high blood pressure in a can. It's not good for you! It's the crack cocaine of food products. I mean, if this woman really has no life to the point where she's bursting in on her son at work, would it kill her to soak some dried beans overnight and make a nice pasta e fagioli from scratch? Why can't she hit an organic grocery and buy some miso? Or am I being too gay here? But I love this Heineken ad where these guys party with the trannies because they have beer. That's what all the trannie-chasers would have you believe, isn't it? Oh, and this Domino's ad reminds me of this weird thing that happened last week. I called the Domino's in my neighborhood because I had forgotten to eat and everything was closed. They hung up on me before I could say a word. I called back, and they hung up on me again. I figured that by the time I hassled someone into delivering me a pizza, it would probably have spit on it so I gave up. Then I'm talking to Sars and she tells me that the Domino's in her neighborhood hangs up on her all the time. What is up with that? I mean, if I wanted a hot teen babe or a lesbian hot teen babe, no problem, but Domino's won't take my calls? I don't get it. Nor do I understand how The American Embassy got a green light from a semi-major network. The U.S. Embassy in London is worthy of a weekly television drama? What do they do there besides hold dinner parties and replace lost passports? What's ? The Department of Transportation? The Registry of Motor Vehicles? The Food and Drug Administration? "I'm sorry but we can't approve this diabetes treatment. You're just going to have to run some more tests!" "You sick bastard! You're just mad because I aborted our child! Diabetes is a serious disease! Can't you forget the past?"
The time is 9:18:18. Klockwise from the top left, Spawn keeps a lookout, Kiefer drives the Kiefmobile in the general direction of the TerrorShack, and Lord and Lady MacPalmer enter the elementary school. Back at The Stable Of Sensuality, Eli and Rick have left, and Spawn determines that the coast is clear again, so Bride retrieves the phone. Kiefer and Bride finally get to talk, but Bride doesn't seem that thrilled. And who can blame her for feeling some resentment towards her husband right now? Nina tells Bride and Kiefer that they're closing in on the area and they should have an exact location in twenty minutes. That's cold comfort for Bride. A cop car tries to pull Kiefer over, but he ignores them. He asks Bride if she has any idea where she is. Yeah -- check the Playboy Mansion. The cops whip out a bullhorn and tell Kiefer to pull over. He puts Bride on hold, pulls over, and rolls down his window. Two very constipated-looking police officers -- one of whom has Pomeranian hair -- swagger over to the Kiefmobile. Just as they reach Kiefer, he takes off. Suckas! A car chase ensues. Bride and Nina listen to the sirens in complete confusion.
Kiefer enters a parking lot, parks, grabs the cell phone and Nina's care package, and gets out of the car. He hides under a parked car while another officer arrives on the scene and walks around looking for him. Okay, remember in West Side Story when every single cast member -- Tony, Maria, Anita, the Sharks, The Jets -- sings their own special verse of "Tonight! Tonight!" and then by the end of the song the entire cast is singing together, the verses are combined and it's all, "The Jets are gonna have their way…won't be just any night…Anita's gonna get her kicks tonight!" and it's this virtuoso musical juggling routine that kicks ass? This is the tension/suspense equivalent of "Tonight! Tonight!" Kiefer's under the car talking to Bride, who is trying to think of clues to her whereabouts and contain her secret anguish over having just been raped, while Nina listens in on her extension trying to help Bride as well but simultaneously eating her heart out over Kiefer's love for his wife, while Soul Patch, also listening in, is eating his heart out over Nina's love for Kiefer as Milo types Bride's location clues into the computer, trying to narrow the location down even further, while the police walk past Kiefer's hiding place, narrowly missing him. Spawn puts her ear up to Bride's phone and Nina, Soul Patch, and Milo listen and type away on their computer keyboards as the Bauers have a tearful reunion and promise to be a family again soon. The police are getting closer, so Kiefer leaves his hiding place and sneaks toward the exit while reminding Bride to stay on the line. Eli and Rick re-enter The Stable Of Sensuality, so Bride hides the phone again, and once again Kiefer, Nina, Soul Patch, and Milo listen helplessly as Eli -- deep in his own anguish over his missing cell phone and the impending trouble he's gonna get from Gaines over it -- beats up Spawn while Rick and Bride try to protect her. The cell phone makes that beep to indicate that it's running out of batteries, and everyone in the SoS stops fighting and looks up at the rafter where it's hidden. Bravo, Joel Surnow! Bravo! I hope you get as much ass as Leonard Bernstein did back while he was alive, because you have just earned it! And that cuticle I mentioned earlier? It's finally gone now. Thanks.
So Eli walks over to the rafter and grabs the cell phone. I know this is nitpicky of me, but I wish I could find my cell phone that fast. What is it about a cell phone ring that betrays no clues as to where it's lying in your apartment? Sometimes I can't find my cell phone, so I call myself on my landline and try to listen for the ring, and I literally have no idea from the sound it makes if it slipped into the couch cushions or it's under a pile of laundry in my bedroom, in a pocket of one of my coats, or in the actual cell phone pocket of my bookbag. It's maddening. Especially now that my boyfriend got me this coat from Eddie Bauer for my birthday that literally has four sets of pockets and a special cell phone pouch. But then I really shouldn't complain about the lack of realism here, because at least someone's cell phone ran out of batteries on this show already. Eli is all, "Who is this?" So Kiefer whips out his sweaty sexy velvety Sutherland bedroom whisper with the special "menacing bad-ass" upgrade attachment and says, "I'm the last thing you will ever see if anything happens to my wife or daughter!" I thought Nina muted Kiefer's line. Whatever. Eli runs to the door of The Stable Of Sensuality to alert Gaines. Rick blocks the exit and tries to argue that Gaines is going to kill him if he finds out that Eli was stupid enough to let his cell phone slip into the hands of the Kieferettes. They fight, the cell phone drops to the ground, and Bride grabs it and begs Kiefer to hurry up and find them already. Eli takes it from her and hangs up just as Kiefer is all, "I promise I am going to find you!" Milo shakes his head to indicate that he didn't get the trace. The time is 9:27:16 AM.
Jamey Farrell's death is then honored by a KFC commercial featuring the new "Spicy Barbeque Wings with Smoked Jalapeno." And why did Pink let them use her new single, "I'm Going Out," for the Bally Total Fitness ad? Couldn't they have waited until it was off the charts for a little while like Madonna did with the Microsoft ad featuring "Ray of Light"? And if that's not enough, they're using clips from the video in the ad so that if you were really stupid, you might think that Pink herself will be your very own cardio-funk instructor if you join now, and your daily workouts will be just like a taping of TRL. Hey, Pink? I love you and I know you will become a major superstar, but if you don't and you end up having to teach cardio-funk at Bally Total Fitness someday to make ends meet, please don't teach in that Castro clone leather cap, because it's gonna smell really bad at the end of the day. Just saying.
The time is 9:32:11 AM. Klockwise from the top left, Kiefer kreeps around the parking lot, some kops keep up their kwest to find him, and the Kieferettes komfort each other. Kiefer breaks into a clunky old sedan, hot-wires it, and drives out of the parking lot while the "Kiefer on the move" theme plays -- or whatever that techno song would be called if I wasn't too lazy to go over to the Fox site and look it up. You'd think the police would have blocked off the entrance to the parking lot, but again, whatever. Kiefer calls Nina again and learns that the trace only narrowed the location of the Kieferettes down to a "twenty-five-mile radius." "What about Jalapeno?" asks Kiefer, hoping he can get some more information out of her. Oops, she's dead. Nina forgot to mention that. I thought I had some stressful jobs in the past, but at least I can say that I've never worked in an office where things were so intense that the death of a co-worker just slipped my mind. Kiefer is restless; he wants to do something useful if he can't go look for the Kieferettes, so Nina "patches" Kiefer over to Soul Patch. Heh! Soul Patch tells Kiefer about the Ted Cofell email and explains that he's the CEO of an investment bank in Burbank. So then there's this cute moment where Nina, who is still "patched" in, starts explaining the significance of Ted Cofell while Soul Patch is still talking so Kiefer is all, "Hold on! Speak one at a time! Soul Patch? You first!" Reeow! Soul Patch just got his penis back! Nina even looks over at Soul Patch as if to say, "The fuck?" They give Kiefer the address of Cofell's firm so that he can head over there and question him. Kiefer warns them that Gaines will probably try to contact Jalapeno again. He tells Soul Patch to figure out a way to keep her death a secret, and orders Nina to continue her search for the location of police roadblocks on her computer. Not cool! He might as well have told Soul Patch to come up with an ad campaign for IBM and sent Nina out to fetch him a latte.
Speaking of the devil, Gaines is indeed trying to contact Jalapeno, to no avail. His phone rings. Hey, guess what? Gaines has his own TerrorBoss! He's a rich guy with some kind of European accent named "Mr. Drazen," and he's played by Zeljko Ivanek, last week's Hey, It's That Guy! Maybe now I'll get the suave villain that I always wanted. He's calling from his private plane to bitch Gaines out for dropping the ball on the Palmer assassination mishap -- but in a really reserved old-world-European kind of way. Gaines assures ForeignAccentedTerrorBoss that Palmer will be dead by the end of the television season…I mean, "day"…and that they have the Kieferettes as leverage, so they can still use Kiefer and set him up. "If Plan A doesn't work," says ForeignAccentedTerrorBoss, accepting a vodka on the rocks from a pretty-boy minion, "you have to have a Plan B, not Plan A recycled." He tells Gaines that he's coming to L.A. personally to "assess the situation," and if he doesn't see a "substantial improvement" in the episode…I mean, "hour"…he'll have Cofell cut off Gaines's money and maybe a body part or two. ForeignAccentedTerrorBoss also refers to a brother of his who has a personal vendetta against Kiefer. Gaines starts to lose his cool and, strangely, starts unbuttoning his own shirt and caressing his collarbone. What's up with that? Did someone slip him a tab of X?
Speaking of mysterious men in suits, there's a bunch of them in Kreepy Karl's office. Lady Mac calls Kreepy Karl from her cell from the ladies' room of the elementary school and tries to work out a private deal with him to "take care" of Reporter Maureen. Turns out Kreepy Karl has a plan of his own that he's already begun to put into action. He's planning to "take care" of the Theo situation in his own special way, and the men in his office are the main financial backers of Palmer's campaign, who are also concerned. Lady Mac, unaware of the suits in Kreepy Karl's office, is startled by Karl's willingness to play hardball, and asks Karl what he's up to. Kreepy Karl tells her not to worry her pretty little head about it. "But Lady Mac," says Kreepy Karl, framed by an L.A. view out his window and a cloud of atmospheric cigar smoke that only seems to emanate from the ashtrays of powerful ruthless men, "if we give David a way out of this, make sure he takes it." They hang up, and one of the suits, who has bug eyes just like Steve Forbes, gets up and exits Karl's office as though he's a little freaked out. Lady Mac is freaked herself, judging by some difficulty she seems to be having balancing on her super-high heels. She exits the ladies' room and returns to the safety of her Secret Service detail. Watch out, Kreepy Karl. I don't think many people make Lady Mac nervous.
Back at CTU, Milo has cracked the code of the email and learned that one million dollars was transferred into Ira Gaines's account from an anonymous Swiss account. Okay, number one? Why would Gaines be telling Jalapeno about this? Number two? Is Gaines stupid enough to have an American bank account with his own name on it? Like no one is going to get suspicious if a million dollars just pops up in your checking account one day? Dude, go to Switzerland or the Cayman Islands and open up your own secret account! Don't you read legal thrillers? I swear to God, I could be a better terrorist than Gaines if I had fewer morals than I already have now! Nina calls Kiefer, tells him that Cofell is indeed involved somehow, and provides some background info. Kiefer calls Cofell's office, pretending to be an old B-school classmate of his. Cofell's young gum-chewing secretary, who is wearing a shiny pink blouse -- a Gucci knockoff from, like, six seasons ago -- tells Kiefer that he's in a meeting, and then he'll be going out of town. Is this girl a temp? If you are an executive assistant, you are never supposed to tell an unknown caller what your boss is doing. You say he's "unavailable" and leave it at that. Kiefer hangs up on her. Way to arouse suspicion, Kief-man! The time is 9:39:05.
The time is 9:43:30. Klockwise from the top left, Kiefer's in the karjacked Kiefmobile, the Kieferettes are holding up a bale of hay, and Soul Patch is brooding over something. Soul Patch walks over to Nina's desk and tells her that headquarters has already replaced Kiefer with a woman named Alberta Green. Apparently Alberta has some issues with Nina from the past, but no one goes into it too much…oh, and Nina used to be Alberta's boss, so you just know there's trouble on the horizon. Kiefer calls in for a traffic report, and Nina tells him about Alberta. Kiefer also has some issues with Alberta.
At The Stable Of Sensuality, it's time for a little exposition on the Kiefer marriage. Spawn wants to know why they ever separated. Bride doesn't want to go into it, but Spawn insists because they're both going to die anyway. Kiefer kan be difficult. Oh, and he went away on CTU-related business a couple of years ago and came back a changed man. "He was distant and preoccupied...and other times he was angry," says Bride. So they separated. But ultimately Bride couldn't stay away from the Kiefer for long. "Good," says Spawn, putting her head on her mother's lap and giving us a little more non-lesbian non-porn.
Back at CTU, Soul Patch has gotten the flight plan of Cofell's private plane. He's headed for Denver. Ooh! Maybe he's taking a vacation at a Terror Ski Lodge! Maybe there's a Terror Independent Film Festival that he serves as a trustee for. Endless possibilities! Alberta Green enters, and as Steven Tyler of Aerosmith once said many years ago, "Ba na ba na, dude looks like a lady!" Jesus, how many more bad-ass black women can this series handle? I'm not complaining, mind you. Alberta greets Nina imperiously, and you can cut the tension with a knife. Nina takes the floor and makes that generic office announcement to "welcome" the new boss. What, no icky party where everyone stands around silently drinking California wine from plastic cups and munching on cubes of bad cheese with toothpicks sticking out of them? Where's the office love? But I guess there's no time for a party, according to Alberta. They've got to stop the Palmer assassination and find the newly deposed Kiefer, who is a fugitive from justice. "I know you've all been up over twenty-four hours," says Alberta to the gathered extras. "Too bad!" No party for you, Alberta. Or should I say, "Miss Green if you're nasty!" She walks over to Nina -- whom she towers over by, like, a foot -- and makes a reference to the awkwardness of having to work together. "But we're professionals and we'll get through this," she says. Now that I primarily work out of my home, I miss having an office bitch to complain about. Thank God for this show.
Palmer raps with the kids over at the elementary school. It's really cute and intimate -- well, except for the legions of journalists, photographers, and aides who are gathered at the back of the room. Is there a precocious child in the house? Sure is! Does Palmer handle the situation with warmth and panache? Sure does! Poor Man's Hume Cronyn interrupts to tell him about an important phone call from his "biggest contributor." Palmer leaves the kids with Lady Mac -- who's probably gonna make them all lick the envelopes on her thank-you notes -- and takes the call. It's the bug-eyed Steve Forbes guy. He's pulling his money out of Palmer's campaign because Kreepy Karl is playing "hardball." Apparently there are plans to "take care" of George Ferragamo, Theo's therapist. "I need to talk to Kreepy Karl," says Palmer to PMHC. "Now!" The time is 9:51:14 AM.
The time is 9:56:09 AM. Klockwise from the top left, Kiefer drives the new Kiefmobile some more, Alberta makes herself at home in the old Kiefer Kube, and Bride and Spawn indulge in some more girl-on-girl non-action. Alberta summons Nina to the Kiefer Kube…to make out with her. Did I say that out loud? Who let that straight man inside my head? They don't make out or anything, but they have a repeat of the "where's Kiefer?" Mason interrogation, complete with Nina feigning ignorance and offers of immunity from Alberta. Rinse and repeat. Sexual innuendo gets thrown around about Nina and Kiefer's relationship, blah blah blah. "Not that I'm judging you, Nina," says Alberta. "But there's a right way to do these things. Let them screw you, but don't let them screw you over." Someone's been reading Camille Paglia! Nina excuses herself to get back to work.
Kiefer almost finds Cofell, an Armani-clad late-thirties guy who looks like one of the Darrens from Bewitched, but narrowly misses him getting into the elevator on his way out. Oh, and the faux-Gucci-clad secretary's skirt is totally eighties with a chain and everything. Kiefer pulls a fire alarm in order to stop the elevator, and runs down the stairs. Kue the Kiefer-on-the-move theme. He finds Cofell's limo and gets rid of his driver somehow. Cofell gets downstairs eventually and summons his car. Kiefer's at the wheel of said car, wearing some snazzy new shades. They drive to the airport. Or…do they?
Klockwise from the top left, Kiefer adjusts the air konditioning for Cofell, Alberta peers imperiously at Nina from the Kiefer Kube, Bride caresses Spawn's new body wave, and Lady Mac reads to the assembled school kids -- probably The Prince by Machiavelli. Bride feels a sharp pain just below her abdomen. I know there's a joke in here somewhere about Spawn's head being on her lap at the time, but I can't think of it right now. Spawn is concerned, but Bride tries to play it down. She's still in pain. Hey, that's not a fun and suspenseful way to end the episode! No more tail for you, Joel Surnow! The time is 9:59:58…9:59:59...10:00:00 AM.