With the advent of weecaps, TWoP began covering Dancing with the Stars in the spring of 2007, just in time for the show's fourth season. The first few weeks were memorable for the inclusion of Heather Mills (ex-Mrs. Paul McCartney) and her artificial leg; viewers tuned in each week to see if she would wipe out. Once that potential for catastrophe got eliminated, the lovers of schadenfreude in the audience tuned in to see how much Billy Ray Cyrus could make us cringe. But it wasn't all bad: the final four of Ian "Steve Sanders" Ziering, Laila "Muhammed's Baby Girl" Ali, Joey "Former N*SYNC Member" Fatone, and Anton "Olympic Gold Medalist Speed-Skater" Ohno provided excitement and thrills, since any one of them could have taken the first-place trophy. It came down to Fatone and Ohno, and despite Fatone's decided advantage due to his years spent dancing onstage, Ohno and his cutie-pie partner Julianne Hough took first place. Other memorable moments: co-host Samantha "Zombie" Harris announcing she was preggers, the judges' in-fighting (and co-host Tom Bergeron even vocally taking issue with the scoring), and the Kenny Mayne/Jerry Rice-hosted SportsCenter parody called DanceCenter. Dear producers: Please bring that last one back in the new season. Also, fewer Jimmy Kimmel segments. Or at least make them funny. And putting a dude in a dress? Not funny. Thank you! -- Kim
Deadwood
Two eyes gouged out, assorted whores abused, historical figures abounding, and a zillion bloody deaths, and...it's over. Will Al burn down the camp, just 'cause it's Tuesday and he's out of peaches? Will Sheriff Bullock cling lustily to his wife? Will Sol and Trixie ever just work it out? We don't know, because the Hooplehead Box Office done ripped the rug right out from under us and damned if I'm not still mad about it! Most of Season 3 had to do with George Hearst, played so ably and so evilly and with such nostril-flaring effect by Gerald McRaney; by the end of the season's 12 episodes, all we wanted was for that bastard to get stabbed. Yeah, that's not what happened in actual history. Thanks, professor. But the dude was always busting on Al! In a scene from which I have not yet even fully recovered, he chopped off one of Al's fingers. The man needed to die. However, he did not, and the machinations of his exit from Deadwood, along with various side plots involving lesbians and acting troupes, dominated the third and, regrettably, last season. Hey, Milch, good job throwing this brilliance to the pigs in exchange for that thing about the dumb guy who can't talk or surf or whatever the hell. Even a head in a box could have told you how that would turn out, cocksucker. -- Al Lowe
By The TWoP Staff
With the advent of weecaps, TWoP began covering Dancing with the Stars in the spring of 2007, just in time for the show's fourth season. The first few weeks were memorable for the inclusion of Heather Mills (ex-Mrs. Paul McCartney) and her artificial leg; viewers tuned in each week to see if she would wipe out. Once that potential for catastrophe got eliminated, the lovers of schadenfreude in the audience tuned in to see how much Billy Ray Cyrus could make us cringe. But it wasn't all bad: the final four of Ian "Steve Sanders" Ziering, Laila "Muhammed's Baby Girl" Ali, Joey "Former N*SYNC Member" Fatone, and Anton "Olympic Gold Medalist Speed-Skater" Ohno provided excitement and thrills, since any one of them could have taken the first-place trophy. It came down to Fatone and Ohno, and despite Fatone's decided advantage due to his years spent dancing onstage, Ohno and his cutie-pie partner Julianne Hough took first place. Other memorable moments: co-host Samantha "Zombie" Harris announcing she was preggers, the judges' in-fighting (and co-host Tom Bergeron even vocally taking issue with the scoring), and the Kenny Mayne/Jerry Rice-hosted SportsCenter parody called DanceCenter. Dear producers: Please bring that last one back in the new season. Also, fewer Jimmy Kimmel segments. Or at least make them funny. And putting a dude in a dress? Not funny. Thank you! -- Kim
Deadwood
Two eyes gouged out, assorted whores abused, historical figures abounding, and a zillion bloody deaths, and...it's over. Will Al burn down the camp, just 'cause it's Tuesday and he's out of peaches? Will Sheriff Bullock cling lustily to his wife? Will Sol and Trixie ever just work it out? We don't know, because the Hooplehead Box Office done ripped the rug right out from under us and damned if I'm not still mad about it! Most of Season 3 had to do with George Hearst, played so ably and so evilly and with such nostril-flaring effect by Gerald McRaney; by the end of the season's 12 episodes, all we wanted was for that bastard to get stabbed. Yeah, that's not what happened in actual history. Thanks, professor. But the dude was always busting on Al! In a scene from which I have not yet even fully recovered, he chopped off one of Al's fingers. The man needed to die. However, he did not, and the machinations of his exit from Deadwood, along with various side plots involving lesbians and acting troupes, dominated the third and, regrettably, last season. Hey, Milch, good job throwing this brilliance to the pigs in exchange for that thing about the dumb guy who can't talk or surf or whatever the hell. Even a head in a box could have told you how that would turn out, cocksucker. -- Al Lowe