We still shudder when we remember the 2006 edition of Big Brother, which was another ill-advised "All-Star" version. Dominated by a no-mance between the crafty, increasingly waxy Dr. Will and the busty, increasingly linebackery Janelle, the season also featured an appallingly creepy turn by the odious Mike "Boogie" (bleh), who seduced a clearly unstable and vulnerable Erika and delighted in drawing her into what she believed was an actual relationship of trust while talking to the camera about how she was a disposable ho. The rest of the houseguests were almost as bad as he was, unfortunately, and when given the opportunity to choose between him and Erika, they gave Mike the money, making it the most embarrassing performance by a bunch of former reality "stars" since the last time everybody got drunk at Dolce and threw up in the alley as a group. A totally revolting display of misogyny on the part of both the houseguests and the producers, the season set the stage for this summer's edition, which will be covered in year's roundup, in all its cigarette-burning, corpse-rape-fantasy-having glory. Mark it down right now: after the tumbles taken by once-formidable shows like The Apprentice, this crapfest is the to go. -- Miss Alli
Brothers & Sisters
A significant casting shake-up prior to B&S's premiere didn't bode well for the success of this family drama, which follows the fortunes (so to speak) of the Walker family. Here's the short form: William, the patriarch, died in the pilot, which was sad for the rest of the Walkers, but pretty awesome for viewers who 1) think William's twenty years of infidelity, fathering a child with his mistress, and embezzlement of family-business funds is super-shitty or 2) are not fans of Tom Skerritt. As the season unfolded, the rest of the family -- matriarch Nora (Sally Field, acting her ass off), daughters Sarah and Kitty (Rachel Griffiths, awesome as usual, and Calista Flockhart, pretty decent for a change), and sons Justin (the now-ex-junkie who looks kind of like Matthew Fox), Kevin (lawyer, made out a lot with Jason Lewis), and Tommy (Balthazar Getty, and if plotlines were limes, he'd have scurvy) -- dealt not only with their grief, but with various kooky posthumous fiscal complications hatched by Walker pere; with facing off against his mistress Holly Harper (Patricia Wettig in the role of her life) and Holly's daughter with William, the troubled and venal Rebecca (Emily VanCamp, a Berlanti stable regular); with Justin's recall by the army; and with all the health scares, longstanding grudges, and overindulgence in red wine that so many of us recognize as the hallmarks of family. The midseason addition of Rob Lowe as Senator Robert McCallister, Kitty's unrealistic but hot Republican love interest, perked things up considerably, and while the writing often relied too heavily on the acting to carry it, the acting usually did carry it. The first season wrapped up with Robert and Kitty's engagement party, a hot make-out sesh in the pantry starring Kevin and Robert's brother Jason, and Justin departing for Iraq. What will happen in the second season? Who knows -- but they'd better cough up some Road-Trip Sarah. -- Sars
Dancing With the Stars
By The TWoP Staff
We still shudder when we remember the 2006 edition of Big Brother, which was another ill-advised "All-Star" version. Dominated by a no-mance between the crafty, increasingly waxy Dr. Will and the busty, increasingly linebackery Janelle, the season also featured an appallingly creepy turn by the odious Mike "Boogie" (bleh), who seduced a clearly unstable and vulnerable Erika and delighted in drawing her into what she believed was an actual relationship of trust while talking to the camera about how she was a disposable ho. The rest of the houseguests were almost as bad as he was, unfortunately, and when given the opportunity to choose between him and Erika, they gave Mike the money, making it the most embarrassing performance by a bunch of former reality "stars" since the last time everybody got drunk at Dolce and threw up in the alley as a group. A totally revolting display of misogyny on the part of both the houseguests and the producers, the season set the stage for this summer's edition, which will be covered in year's roundup, in all its cigarette-burning, corpse-rape-fantasy-having glory. Mark it down right now: after the tumbles taken by once-formidable shows like The Apprentice, this crapfest is the to go. -- Miss Alli
Brothers & Sisters
A significant casting shake-up prior to B&S's premiere didn't bode well for the success of this family drama, which follows the fortunes (so to speak) of the Walker family. Here's the short form: William, the patriarch, died in the pilot, which was sad for the rest of the Walkers, but pretty awesome for viewers who 1) think William's twenty years of infidelity, fathering a child with his mistress, and embezzlement of family-business funds is super-shitty or 2) are not fans of Tom Skerritt. As the season unfolded, the rest of the family -- matriarch Nora (Sally Field, acting her ass off), daughters Sarah and Kitty (Rachel Griffiths, awesome as usual, and Calista Flockhart, pretty decent for a change), and sons Justin (the now-ex-junkie who looks kind of like Matthew Fox), Kevin (lawyer, made out a lot with Jason Lewis), and Tommy (Balthazar Getty, and if plotlines were limes, he'd have scurvy) -- dealt not only with their grief, but with various kooky posthumous fiscal complications hatched by Walker pere; with facing off against his mistress Holly Harper (Patricia Wettig in the role of her life) and Holly's daughter with William, the troubled and venal Rebecca (Emily VanCamp, a Berlanti stable regular); with Justin's recall by the army; and with all the health scares, longstanding grudges, and overindulgence in red wine that so many of us recognize as the hallmarks of family. The midseason addition of Rob Lowe as Senator Robert McCallister, Kitty's unrealistic but hot Republican love interest, perked things up considerably, and while the writing often relied too heavily on the acting to carry it, the acting usually did carry it. The first season wrapped up with Robert and Kitty's engagement party, a hot make-out sesh in the pantry starring Kevin and Robert's brother Jason, and Justin departing for Iraq. What will happen in the second season? Who knows -- but they'd better cough up some Road-Trip Sarah. -- Sars
Dancing With the Stars