Episode Report Card Lady Lola: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT No Country for Juicy Men
By Lady Lola | Season 3 | Episode 7 | Aired on 06.26.2011
That evening, Rich joins Kathy as she organizes her recipes in preparation for the upcoming holiday. She says she wants to make a go of dessert making professionally, but Rich thinks she should open up a restaurant or a banquet hall. He urges her to come look at spaces with him, and she agrees.
Upstate, the Giudices and Lauritas arrive at Juicy's family cabin, which is chockablock with stuffed beasts. Teresa's father prepares dinner as they chit-chat and check out Chris's guns. Teresa gets hold of one, but luckily there are no casualties... yet. Joe's parents arrive, and they sit down for dinner and toast to the "Giudice Country Club."
As everyone enjoys seconds, Jacqueline goes around the house spraying Febreze and sticking baking soda in the fridge. What a great guest! She interviews that Juicy's homemade wine smells like "old dog fart" and rotten eggs. Teresa, however, loves it. The stinky wine flows for all, and things get increasingly more comfortable -- or uncomfortable, depending on how you look at it. Even Jacqueline wants to draw the line when Teresa announces that Juicy likes to call her a dirty slut. Jacqueline admits it's the first time she's seen Teresa truly comfortable in a while. But that comes at the price of hearing Juicy talk about Teresa's blowjob skills.
And listening to Teresa get all hot and bothered about Juicy's pizza-making skills, evidently. Because it's pizza competition time. Jacqueline starts in own her trademark Nutella calzone while Teresa flaps around some dough. She says suggestively that good pizza requires, "a little bit of love, a little bit of stretching, a little bit of pushing." While the pizzas cook, the ladies talk about their Christmas plans. Teresa says Kathy's not in her plans or her thoughts. She interviews that the falling out occurred between her parents and Kathy's parents and was over a paltry $200. Teresa says she wants to focus on her immediate family right now. The pizzas finish up, and Jacqueline unilaterally declares herself the winner.
The next day, Kathy and Rich go out looking at restaurants. She wants to make it clear to Rich that they're partners, and he's not her boss. They arrive at the space, but Kathy thinks it's more "Jersey Italian" pizzeria than she wants. She thinks her restaurant should have an upscale European feel. The next place similarly flops, which Rich owes to Kathy's control freak tendencies.
Meanwhile, Teresa tells us about Juicy's vibrating cockring. I am not kidding. She makes sure to inform us that it stretches to accommodate Juicy's enormous schlong. Thanks. A bit later, Juicy's uncle prepares a pig for roasting while Teresa and her Yetis shoot guns.