Episode Report Card Gustave: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Chip of Fools
By Gustave | Season 2 | Episode 20 | Aired on 04.21.2003
Division. Palmer and PoorMan'sHumeCronyn run outside just as paramedics are loading Rolaide's gurney into an ambulance. Palmer stops them to ask Rolaide some questions. Rolaide is in really bad shape. She has a concussion, and for some reason that's totally making her look like Karen Carpenter. "I'm so sorry," he says to her. Hey, didn't Kiefer just say the exact same thing to PMAA? Are the writers just copying and pasting the script at this point? The medics wave Palmer away, but Palmer realizes that she's trying to say something, although in her condition she can't speak. What's that, Lassie? Timmy pushed you down the well? My cabinet is conspiring to remove me from office? Rolaide manages to point at PMHC. PMHC craftily takes her hand as if comforting her and holds it. Good save! "Don't worry, Rolaide," says PMHC. "They're going to take good care of you." They take her away. The time is 03:47:34 AM.
The time is 03:51:59 AM. CTU. Bi-Carrie-ous approaches Soul Patch. She's got a proposition for him. She won't tell Chappelle that they're trying to find Kiefer if Soul Patch fires Bitchelle and gives Bi-Carrie-ous her job. Soul Patch calls Chappelle over. Bitchelle watches fitfully. "Carrie was trying to extort a promotion out of me." Bi-Carrie-ous starts to tell her side of the story but Chappelle tells her to get back to work. If Chappelle won't let Soul Patch do his thing, "I suggest you relieve me of my duties right now," says Soul Patch, now that the jig is up. "That won't be necessary," says Chappelle. "I just don't have anyone to take your place right now." So that was Chappelle's visit? Lame.
Hancock Park. Cate opens her safe and hands the rednecks a big pile of cash. Unfortunately, the cash is $20,000 in Euros, and the rednecks aren't too pleased with this. "Do we look European?" says Redneck #2. "We want cash money!" Okay, ending sentences with prepositions is one thing, but ignorance of recent developments in the European Union with regards to its currency is just unforgivable. These guys would be just the sort of fellows who'd beat up an Arab. And not even in a Camus-existentialist way, either. One of the rednecks, who incidentally looks Hispanic, finds some jewelry. Oh, please don't make this scene any more nauseating by having it be her dead mother's prized jewelry collection. Happily, no such statement is made. "Just take it all," says Cate. "Give me the chip." The Hispanic redneck ("rojo-neck"?) is worried that, since Cate knows what they look like, she'll tell. They are considering killing her when Kiefer enters and shoots everyone except for Redneck #1, who locks himself in the bathroom with the chip. "All I want is the chip" says Kiefer, shooting at the lock. "My name is Kiefer. I'm a federal agent. All I want is the chip and then I'll let you go." Redneck #1 is reluctant to leave the bathroom since Kiefer just mowed down a bunch of his friends. Redneck #1 threatens to crush the chip.
White House. PMHC watches via videophone as PoorMan'sJoeLieberman gathers the Cabinet members together in this room that looks just like the big room at NSA, only with a new paint job. PMJL thanks the group of suit-wearing extras for coming and keeping the meeting a secret. "Excuse me, Mr. Vice President, but shouldn't we wait for the President?" says some old white guy via videophone. PMJL explains that the President's absence is the point of the meeting. Everyone looks confused. Wait. He didn't even ask around before he decided to call together the cabinet and ask them to bring down Palmer? This is even lamer than I previously thought. PMJL begins to speak, and lays out the opening arguments for why Palmer is unfit to continue as President of the United States based on his response to the day's events. PMHC continues to watch the meeting with a confused intensity. The time is 03:59:58…03:59:59…04:00:00 AM.