Episode Report Card Jessica: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT That Was Then
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 16 | Aired on 03.25.2003
Although it is still light in Boston, it's dark in Capeside. Don't ask. Over at Capeside General Hospital, Pacey makes a call to Joey. He gets her machine, but hangs up before leaving a message. Doug grabs him, telling him that Pa Witter is awake and can see the two of them. They hustle into the hospital room, where their father is talking to the doctor. Pa Witter tells Dr. Contrivance that Pacey is "the one [he] was telling [him] about." Pacey shakes the doctor's hand and shamefacedly admits that he's the "black sheep of the family." Dr. Contrivance smiles and corrects him, saying that Pa Witter was actually bragging on him. This, of course, cues up the obligatory "Pacey will be taking care of all of us one of these days" comment from Pa Witter, and the accompanying snarly expression from Doug. Pacey waves the compliments off and asks after his father's health. Pa Witter thanks him for coming. "I know how busy you are," he says.
Dr. Contrivance says the boys can each talk to their father, but they have to do it one at a time. Pacey starts to leave, but Pa Witter stops him, saying that he wants to talk to him first. Doug snaps that he's been waiting all day, so he can stand to wait a few more minutes, and then he stomps out. Dude, Doug, way to make your father's life-threatening illness all about you. So, Pacey sits by his father and chats aimlessly about traffic and how glad Pa Witter is to see him. Doug, I'm sure, is moping around the hallway, singing "Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me (Guess I'll Go Eat Some Worms)."
It's dark at Capeside High, too, although Dawson told George that he was going to watch George's movie in "ten minutes" and George specifically said that the movie was only eighteen minutes long. There's no way that darkness fell twenty-eight minutes after film class ended. Anyway, the credits roll on George's little movie, and Dawson says…nothing. "Thanks, thanks a lot," George says sarcastically, then comments that Dawson's silence "speaks volumes." Dawson tells George that he doesn't know him well enough to interpret his silence. George points out that Mel Silver is only silent when he's planning how to "eviscerate [him]." At this, Dawson says a whole bunch of nothing, mostly about how weird it is to come back to Capeside and his past and yadda yadda yadda. George wrinkles up his nose. "No offense and other obligatories, but I'm as ill-suited to psychoanalyze your crippling self-doubt as you apparently feel you are to critique my film," he says. And score one for George! The kid gets up to go, explaining that his mother serves dinner at six. Dawson finally admits that he's stalling because he doesn't know what to say. "Keep going," he finally forces out. "Your film's good. Very good." He then tells George that he needs to work on continuity, like, physician, look out the window and heal thyself. Dawson admits that George has "the stuff you can't teach." George smiles. "So I'm a natural genius," he interprets. Dawson snorts. "You are so much like me when I was your age," he laughs to himself. George tells him that Mel Silver agrees. Dawson nods and says…ut(IDEdkrtjetn3 *8enyAAA. I'm sorry. I pass out from boredom every time Dawson starts talking about, like, the beauty of his craft, or whatever it hell it is he talks about when he starts talking about movies. I do, however, wake up in time to hear George tell Dawson that he has "the stink of a burn-out talent" on him. Dawson rolls his eyes and good-naturedly tells George to "get out" before he "rubs off on [him]." George starts to go, then turns and tells Dawson that he thought Creek Dayz was good. "Not too many people have heart anymore. You can't lose that, right?" he asks. "Hope not," Dawson says thoughtfully. Lesson thus imparted, Dawson tells George to stay in school, keep his nose clean, and to stay away from organized sports. Whatever. The only way I could be interested in a Dawson plot, really, would be if it involved spontaneous human combustion. ["Will any human do? Because I'm volunteering." -- Sars]
Back at the hospital, Pa Witter tells Pacey that Ma Witter has been using a cookbook called Bacon Makes The World Go 'Round, and he thinks she's trying to kill him with cholesterol. He laughs that Pacey's the only one who has any money, so he doesn't know why Ma Witter is going after him. She's not trying to kill you, Pa Witter: bacon actually does make the world go 'round. Pacey makes a worried face and tells his father that he needs to listen to the doctor. Pa Witter assures Pacey that he's fine. "Hell, you've probably got the same thing," he says. "I don't know what your brother is getting worked up about." I hope that's not foreshadowing a Very Special Episode in which Pacey develops a heart condition. Pa Witter is still complaining about poor misunderstood Doug. "He needs to get a life. Like you did," he says. Pacey doesn't really have a reaction to this, and Pa Witter wonders if Pacey doesn't have to get back to the office. Pacey assures his father that business will take care of itself. Pa Witter smiles and tells Pacey that he's a good kid. "You grew up to be one of the good guys, Pacey. I always knew you would. I should have told you that more often," he says. Pacey smiles. "Well, maybe I just didn't always hear you," he says, taking his father's hand. Aw. People, I'm not made of stone. Pacey's wanted his father's approval for years! And now he's gotten it! Parental approval and a haircut! There is a God!