Episode Report Card Jacob: B | 3 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Doing The Backstroke
By Jacob | Season 3 | Episode 1 | Aired on 2007.08.13
At the elementary school graduation, Doug confronts Celia's husband Dean about him blowing Doug's Celia-boning secret to his wife. "Your wife's enticing snatch has nothing to do with my deep and abiding love for my wife," he snits. Doug thinks his frigid, invisible, short-cervixed wife might be a lesbian, and lists all the ways his four kids were conceived. They're all really sad: "Tequila shots, snuck it in while she was sleeping, doing it for a Lexus, and turkey baster." He gives a short speech in her honor, then punches Dean a little bit before they discover something magical: the medicine cabinet in the host's bathroom is a thing of beauty.
Shane teaches himself to drive in the back of the diner, while sitting on a pile of phone books, six-packs of soda taped to his foot. It's faintly adorable.
Nancy sits with Silas at the police station and admits that she dropped him on his head when he was about 15 months old after he exuberantly kicked her in the eye. She's kind of impressed how he guessed the safe combo (maiden name) and admits to him that she desperately needs to know where the "dry cleaning" is. "My boss is going to shoot me dead," she says, and he finally grasps what she means. They freak out together engagingly about how Celia is now driving Nancy's and Conrad's lives around in Silas's trunk. Silas snits, "Can't your husband help you out of this?" She fugues out big time for a second but doesn't bother explaining that Peter's dead. Too real. Nancy leaves Silas at the station, to keep tabs on him; thankfully, she doesn't notice Shane's Amber Alert on the wall above Silas's head. This scene is like the only time I haven't wanted to smack Silas with something heavy, and that's only because Nancy just did.
Andy continues to put Nancy off about having misplaced Shane, and then he and Abumchuk learn how Shane drove the van around for an hour behind the diner before he took off. Abumchuk continues to ask questions about the Kat bounty, and after much harassment finally tells Andy how much the constant Eskimo jokes bother him. Andy of course can't help himself and calls him Nanook, earning himself a bloody nose. Abumchuk out.