Episode Report Card Sobell: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT "You're a Waste of My Fries"
By Sobell | Season 1 | Episode 17 | Aired on 04.09.2006
Anyway, Michael broods about how he's trying to reconstruct the lost tattoo area, because without it, they'll never be able to navigate the labyrinth of pipes beneath the psych ward. He says, "I spent a lot of time studying those blueprints, tracing them night after night, considering every possible route to the infirmary." And engaging in endless flashbacks that look really cool because of the diffuse lighting and yoga-like poses Michael struck with blueprints fluttering behind. So the problem with just remembering the blueprints, Michael explains, is that "it's like trying to take a test you studied for ten years ago." Sucre has a baffled look on his face like, Study? What is this "study" of which you speak?
Cut to Bellick stomping to the center of the cellblock and screaming, "P! I!" Oh, what fun! Do we all get to scream random letters of the alphabet? M! K! R! W! E! T-Bag and Sucre look suitably shifty-eyed, but are distracted by -- and I apologize for the bluntness here -- the world's ugliest prison cross-dresser. I realize it's hard to find the right cosmetics and flattering foundation garments in a men's prison, but this guy doesn't even look like he tried, and who loves a transvestite who lacks gumption? Not even T-Bag, who mutters, "I may be social, but that's a line I won't even cross."
Team Escarpara shuffles out, and C-Note asks Michael, "How 'bout it, Fish? When we rolling out?" Michael tells him, "There's one hiccup left, but I'm working on it. The roadmap's a little incomplete at the moment."
Once the team's inside St. Louis, Sucre plays exposition donkey and asks why Michael can't just try, try again in the Whack Shack. Michael replies, "Because: one, I don't have the guard's uniform anymore, which means I can't just get across the yard. Two, even if I did, it's a mess down there. I need this." "You think you can remember it?" Sucre asks. "Not with you hounding me!" Michael snaps.
Then the anti-Pope comes in and tells them all it's time to wrap up the job. Bellick's bringing in the pros to lay carpet tomorrow. All of the inmates try not to look too dismayed. The minute the anti-Pope leaves, everyone has a little meltdown. Michael finally concludes they'll fill in the hole just a little --- wedge a piece of plywood in there, then add some fast-setting concrete. This way, when it comes time to break out, they'll just smash it with a sledgehammer. Michael nudges the crew along: "Let's get on it -- we've only got a couple of hours to get this thing done."