Episode Report Card Sobell: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT "You're a Waste of My Fries"
By Sobell | Season 1 | Episode 17 | Aired on 04.09.2006
While all this is going on, Bellick's introducing Tweener to an inmate named "Avocado." It is a mystery as to why he's got this nickname: he is neither covered in mottled green skin nor small, and it's highly unlikely that he got the nickname after wowing the inmates with his guacamole recipe. In fact, Avocado is a hulking behemoth -- one that scares the crap out of Tweener by chucking him under the chin and cooing, "Lookit. She's just a baby." Bellick determines that Tweener's sufficiently rattled, and bids him to sit. The boy does, and Bellick leans in to snarl, "Scofield. What's the nine-one-one." Displaying the survival instincts of a lima bean, Tweener says cheerily, "It's four-one-one. And I don't know." Bellick mentions that Avocado's looking for a new cellie. Tweener explains earnestly, "I'm trying to break bread with the man, but I can't get jack unless I get to the table. Scofield got his own peeps up in P.I. He don't need me." Bellick stares and thinks about how hard it is to nail Scofield when all he has is the idiot Tweener as a hammer.
Team Escarpara continues to fill in their little hole, but the impending presence of one of the COs means they have to hustle to hide their half-finished projects first. That CO is Bellick, and he is quite admiring of the quality of the team's work. Given how little time they're actually spending on refurbishing the place, either Team Escarpara are also the best contractors in the prairie states, or Bellick doesn't know jack about remodeling. He makes a crack about getting satellite, and T-Bag helpfully adds that the dish will give the guards all the porn they'd ever want to watch. Bellick says that as a reward for all their hard work, Team Escarpara is going to get an extra pair of hands. Enter Tweener, strutting and preening, as the rest of the inmates regard him with the same pleasure I might have in discovering a dead snake in my salad. Showing a remarkable inability to read the room, Tweener says insouciantly, "'Sup." Westmoreland rolls his eyes as if to convey to the others, You have NO IDEA what it's like sharing my cell with this. At least Marilyn was housebroken.
Commercials. So the point to Gatorade is, if it rains and you leave your volleyball outside, you can grow your own live woman? What happens if you leave a tetherball outside? Do you get a dominatrix?
When we come back, Team Escarpara quickly dispatches Tweener so they can talk: C-Note waves his brush around and says, "Look. My brush. It's all sticking together." Michael looks directly at Tweener and says, "Looks like somebody needs to go clean it out." T-Bag helpfully adds, "According to rank, that'd be you." Everyone soon piles on with paint-soaked implements and tells him to take his time. Westmoreland makes sure he leaves the building.