Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT A Broken Bone
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 1 | Aired on 06.05.2012
Dr. Wren (!): "I'll see your primary-striped sweater over a lace-aproned black-velvet Downton Abbey midi-skirt and million straps hanging off your random huge purse raise you a multicolored neon leisure suit that makes me look like a Batman villain, or somebody that knows the secret truth about government loans available to you."
Hanna: "I am not Hanna. I am somebody named Rivers, okay?"
Wren: "I'm here volunteering, as I often do. Quid pro quo."
Hanna: "I don't know what that means, but she was one of the great loves of my life, and she owes me some damn answers."
Wren: "The thing about crazy people is, you are not going to get those."
Wren takes her off to talk about it, and the camera screeches over to the cracked door, where Mona is secretly staring.
HASTINGS
Spencer: "Be naked! It's so great!"
Toby: "Okay, let's make out. My giant crazy face on your face. Wear all my clothes!"
Spencer: "You know how I said we can't have sex? Scratch that."
Toby: "I am going to put clothes on and then you won't want to do me anymore."
Spencer ignores another call from Unknown while Toby tries to talk to her about the lakehouse alibi, and they kiss and are cute. Spencer! What is your creepy secret these days? Who is calling you?
SCHOOL
Hanna: "I can't go to cooking class to learn how to make Dongpo Rou with you. For I have so many visits of therapy."
Caleb: "Okay, just say dong po like a hundred times."
Hanna: "Done."
Aria: "My parents are still weird about the grown adult man I'm dating."
Spencer: "How weird."
Lucas: Slinks off as usual.
Aria: "He really went dark after that Masquerade Ball where we saw him talking to Jenna and the Black Swan."
Hanna: "Yet, Jenna's been gone all summer, looking at things with her special eyes, and he's still acting like Boo."
Aria: "And now he's shadily chatting up one of the million skinny brunettes at this school, all of whom could be the Black Swan."
Spencer: "That seems like an important plotpoint from the finale last season. Let's breeze past it and talk about lipgloss or something."
Hanna: "Or how Emily is probably off drinking in a gutter somewhere."
Emily: "No, I'm just been spooky and sad out in the Quad. Making my tummy face."