Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT A Broken Bone
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 1 | Aired on 06.05.2012
Toby: "Spencer's got a test or something, so I'm allowed to hang out with you."
Emily: "I'd say I'm happy to see you, but that would run counter to my unending misery, so I'm going to ask you about Jenna Thing instead."
Toby: "Jenna? Oh, she's doing great. You know her. Big ball of fun. Hey, how are you feeling about your dead friend getting dug up?"
Emily: "I'm feeling like I need to disclose some information to you about that."
THE LOST WOODS!
Spencer goes to that scary motel with the awesome guy, pulls herself together, and heads into the woods. She is followed! It is scary! Commercial break!
Mona's HQ has been thoroughly cleaned out, down to a bare lightbulb and a spooky table. Spencer pulls out a bunch of stuff, like a laptop -- the laptop, probably -- and gets to work on being paranoid in some new and amazing way.
MARIN
Caleb gets nosy about Hanna's neverending appointments with the woman who is apparently not his mother, and even refers to their relationship as "intimate," before Hanna gets a call from a person named "R.S." She lies and says it's Spencer calling. What is going on! All these Liars are Lying and we don't know exactly why! What a thrill it is, to start a new season. Unreliable narrators abound.
Wren: "Is Miss Rivers available?"
Hanna: "How'd you get this number?"
Wren: "[A dizzying array of codenames and secret identities, which he has decoded but I cannot.]"
Hanna: "Is something wrong with Mona?"
Wren: "Uh, yes."
Hanna: "Ha! No, but seriously."
Wren: "Your visits are apparently helping Mona not be crazy anymore."
Caleb appears; Hanna abruptly breaks into a fake conversation with Spencer about chips and salsa and whatever, and they ring off.
AS-YET-UNNAMED COFFEE SHOP SET
Emily: "I'm just pissed, like, all the time. At all times."
Toby: "I bet you are! You are a composite of like ten people with legitimate beef. Young, female, gay, ethnic. Bereaved. I don't understand how you go a day without starting a riot."
Emily: "I have become a blackout drunk*. It's sort of embarrassing. And I'm letting down the Liars, who are like my family."
Toby: "Friends are better than family. Like how my family rapes me, Hanna would never do that to you. For just one example."
*(Specifically, she mentions one party in particular that she doesn't even remember attending, which may or may not have bearing on a later scene.)