Episode Report Card Megyn: A- | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT Return of the Jab-eye
By Megyn | Season 4 | Episode 9 | Aired on 2001.01.07
And we're in the office of one Leo "I think I did it a" Glynn's office. Leo is entering, followed by Ally Sheedy (whose name is Lisa, but I doubt I'll refer to her by that name. Ever) sporting her trademark short hair and an equally unflattering suit. She explains to Glynn, and those of us playing at home, that she's a segment producer, and the show is divided into four ten-minute stories. She also makes mention of one Jack Eldridge, who is the star of said show. Cut to brief black-and-white glimpse of the artist formerly known as Robin Colcord, a.k.a. Jack Eldridge ["a.k.a. Mr. Racine" -- Sars], wincing, before we cut back to Glynn stating that he "likes" Eldridge because he's a "ball-buster." Ally continues to perk that they want to film a three-part series on Oz. Glynn, who is now seated at his desk, regards her calmly and says, "No." Sheedy, flashing her best prom-girl smile, asks, "What do you have to hide?" After pondering whether he should get into the whole thing about executions, attempted assassinations, and, well, pretty much his fear about the entire reign of Querns ever peeking out from underneath the large rug of denial they both stepped over as they walked through the office, he decides against it and goes with the folded-hands-position of disapproval and how he'd "like to distance [himself] from any sort of negative publicity." It apparently has been four years since the riots in Oz. Sheedy gets all smug and tells Glynn she's already obtained permission from the commissioner. Just as Glynn reaches for the phone to call Governor Gremlin, Ally stops him in his tracks with the cold hard fact that she already got the green light from Gremlin. Glynn cleverly disguises his disgust by slamming down the phone disgustedly. Glynn: "If you already knew it was a done deal, why did you even ask me?" Ally: "To get your honest reaction."
And we're in the all-purpose library/staff meeting room. Lisa/Ally schools the seated staff on what the crew will be doing and what they all can expect. They plan to start with cameras following a new prisoner around while he learns the system and absorbs the fact that he will never see the light of day again. Never smell the salty air of freedom. Never know again know a loved one's touch…you get the picture. Then, they'll grand finale it all with Jack Eldridge spending the night in a cell with one lucky prisoner. McManus looks up, repeating weakly, "Spending the night?" While he glazes over, lost in his own homoerotic fantasy, Glynn alternates putting his hands to his eyes and resting them on the table to convey displeasure and discomfort with the whole thing. LoPresti, who should have been fired a loooong time ago for banging Bellinger on death row, asks excitedly when Eldridge will arrive. He'll need to be properly gelled and coifed in order to look his best for the cameras so he can be discovered and become famous, people! Oh, hi Claire! Nice to see you still looking like a venomous toad, while carrying the weight of the world on your shock of feathered bangs. Ally drones on, explaining that their goal is not to make them all look bad (they do a fine job of that themselves), but to kick 60 Minutes in the ass. Yeah, Morley is just shaking in his orthopedics, yo.