Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Goo Goo Gotchoo
By Sara M | Season 16 | Episode 5 | Aired on 03.05.2008
After the break, Ozzy ably catches some tiny fish that don't appear to have too much meat on them while Erik watches from the raft in awe. He tells us that "Ozzy is amazing." Erik has a man-crush! Who will Ozzy choose? Whose hair is prettier; Amanda's or Erik's? "I can't compete with him; he's amazing," Erik finishes. Oh, well, then I guess you shouldn't even try. Just sit back and let everyone else play the game.
And that's exactly what Erik does as Joel talks to Ozzy about the future of the tribe. Ozzy says he thinks they need to get rid of the person who is holding them back from being a strong tribe, which is Chet, of course. Joel thinks he's a wise negotiator as he says that if the "Favorites" are willing to vote Cirie out next, he'll vote Chet out now. Because I'm sure the "Favorites" will be perfectly happy to give up their advantageous numbers purely out of honor to an Unfrozen Caveman Firefighter. Erik tells us that the conversation between Ozzy and Joel was like "two superpowers kind of discussing terms." Uh...no, Erik. It wasn't. It was one doofus letting his hatred of his teammate seriously cloud his judgment, assuming he had any of that to begin with. As soon as Chet is gone, the "Favorites" will outnumber the "Fans" and be able to pick them off, one by one. Joel sort of realizes this and brings it up whilst picking at his shoulder. The conversation ends with Ozzy and Joel saying that they need to figure out a way they can trust each other before Joel decides to vote out Chet. Joel then tells us that even though they're all one tribe, it's still Fans vs. Favorites, and the only way to get an advantage is for either the Favorites to get a Fan on their side or vice versa. He realizes this, and yet...
Back at Airai, the "Favorites" school the "Fans" in proper shelter-location-choosing and building. They find a spot away from the beach and in the shade. Alexis, who the graphic says is a "motivational speaker" tells us -- okay, wait. Motivational speaker? Really? What could she possibly tell me? "You CAN get out of college and you CAN get a job telling people that they CAN get a job! Self-esteem, y'all!!!" What a joke. Anyway, she motivates that it was great having the "Favorites" around to tell them what to do, because they clearly have no ability to do anything right for themselves. While "it's all coming together now!" music plays, we see everyone working together to build a shelter. Alexis tells James how happy she is to have new people on her beach. Don't come off too desperate and pathetic now, Alexis. Oh, too late.