Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Goo Goo Gotchoo
By Sara M | Season 16 | Episode 5 | Aired on 03.05.2008
After the teams figure out their pairs and Malakal wins a Rock, Paper, Scissors match that, knowing the brutality that comes afterwards, may well have been played with actual rocks, paper, and scissors, the game begins! Malakal wisely choose to start as the Chasers, and Erik and Ozzy will chase Kathy and Natalie. It's no contest, as Kathy has trouble getting under a branch and Ozzy catches her and grabs her flag. So, clearly, it's harder to be a runner than a chaser. And Malakal got to be chasers first, so they should be able to win this thing no problem. Next up, Parvati and Eliza chase Chet and Joel. Um...whose brilliant idea was it to pair those two up? I mean, damn. Joel looks especially caveman-y as he hulks his way through the course with Chet behind him, pulling on the rope that ties them together to make their combined movements easier. The girls chase them through the course, and, unbelievably, Eliza manages to leap over a branch and grab the flag off of Chet's back. Go Eliza! Her team is thrilled, but Probst sees that not all is well in Airai land -- Parvati banged her face on a branch and now has a fat lip! And that's our first indication that this reward challenge is a horror show. ["I'm telling you, Eliza is an interesting bird. She seems goofy, but then she does these sort of cool things." -- Miss Alli]
Our next indication comes when Ami and Amanda chase James and Jason, and Ami jumps over a branch-fence thing and hurts herself so badly that her mouth goes blurry. She recovers slowly, and it looks like the new Airai have this point won for sure...until something amazing happens. Like, amazing. And hilarious! James and Jason are running next to each other, and they decide they're ahead enough to fool around and show everyone the Looney Tunes impression they've been working on. They run past a tree, with James on one side and Jason on the other. So, of course, as soon as the rope between them hits the tree, Jason gets pulled back and spun around, smacking his face on the tree. Which looked painful, but also really funny. I watched this episode with my roommate and then when I went back two days later to watch it again for the recap, I laughed my ass off and my roommate called from the other room, "you must be watching the part where that guy gets his ass kicked by a tree." And then he ran to the living room to watch it again with me and we rewound it like ten times. But it's not over yet, as James makes the situation worse by running around the tree to free them, but instead wraps them around it even more. Ami and Amanda come upon the scene, and although James shoves Jason into Amanda to knock her over, the injured Ami is able to get the flag. She limps back to her team, still in some obvious pain.
Next up are Alexis and Jonathan against Cirie and Tracy. If Cirie and Tracy can outrun Airai, they'll win. But...come on. Jonathan leads, with Alexis doing her best not to get them caught up in anything. Cirie and Tracy do a good job of staying together, but when they have trouble sliding under a branch, Jonathan and Alexis are able to catch up. Jonathan grabs for Cirie's flag and she fights him off, which gives Alexis the chance to take it herself. Airai is happy, but when Jonathan goes back the waiting area, his knee is bleeding. Probst recaps the rather significant injury tally, and why hasn't this carnage been stopped? This was such a bad, bad idea for a challenge. Just call the whole thing off and split the barbecue amongst all the contestants. And then fire the people who had the idea for this death pit massacre.