Episode Report Card Djb: D | 3 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT In The Claire
By Djb | Season 4 | Episode 8 | Aired on 08.29.2000
Random, Kid Rock-esque Cyril doppelganger guy in laundry room. Doppelganger spies random bloody hand from opening credits coming over the top of the washing machine. Doppelganger sees entire bloody man reaching out arms for help before falling back. Doppelganger screams for help. He needs a haircut.
Querns looks at the dead body and makes the hard-boiled quip, "Like my day wasn't already in the toilet." Um, Querns? Jerry Orbach called. He wants his hard-boiled quips back. Querns blazes into Adebisi's (who, have I mentioned, is playing a trumpet) cell, which looks a hell of a lot less like a pod at Em City and a hell of a lot more like a dilettante jazz musician's freshman dorm room at The New School. Someone take those curtains down and let the ghastly antiseptic fluorescent sun shine in, people. The man can no longer be trusted to decorate without vast amounts of assistance. Querns tells Adebisi that he was in charge "as long as [he] kept the horseshit to zero." Continuing, "This is NOT zero." Um, Querns? Jerry Orbach called. He wanted...oh, never mind.
Adebisi takes off on the search for the killer, as per Querns's extremely strongly worded request. Henchmen Poet and Supreme tell Adebisi that the dead guy was a total loser with neither friends nor enemies to report. All they know is that he had, at one time, shared intimate relations with Beecher. Cut again to the aforementioned three men knocking Beecher around for information. Beecher knows nothing. Querns looks on from his office. Beecher runs into Keller and blames him for the loser's murder. He should be more careful about when he's accusing Keller. Just in case he turns out to be wrong. Again. Keller shares an extremely non-sequitur story about tattoos, which I'm going to pretend was passed along by Hill. Is that wrong of me? Beecher threatens to tattle to Adebisi, and in turn Keller returns the favor in telling Beecher that he knows about Pancamo and the hit on Hank Schillinger. Mondo walks by, and Keller asks Beecher about his acumen as a bedtime partner. Keller smiles. Oy, that goatee. Has he learned nothing from watching Querns?
Hill, meanwhile would very badly like us to know that he thinks losing is for winners! Huzzah!
I'm digging this Keller and O'Reily "Hardy Boys" thing. A lot. It almost makes me forget all about O'Reily's other bad, bad indiscretions over the course of the last two episodes. Oops. Too bad for short-term memory. There it is again. Stupid, stupid man. Anyway, O'Reily meets Supreme Allah over by the showers, and he steals the unsuspecting Muslim's necklace. He passes it along to Keller downstairs at Em City, and we learn that there is a Mighty Big Ruse in effect between them that includes the necklace and a truck with a flat tire. Let's watch it at work: Over at cafeteria duty, the guards are keeping everyone in a line with the exception of Mondo Brown, who claims that he can't go anywhere because he has to take care of an issue concerning a truck (oh...) and a flat tire (...I see). Everyone else leaves except Mondo, who is suddenly very, very serious about his work in the kitchen. He takes pencil to clipboard in a back room, just in time for Keller to enter the room and bring up some "personal business" the two are about to share. Keller lights Brown's cigarette, puts the match out on his tongue, and offers to give Mondo a blow job. Cut to Querns telling Adebisi that Mondo was killed in the cafeteria. They found "this" at the scene, and Querns produces Supreme's necklace. And then over to the alleged killer's pod, where guards drag an unsuspecting Supreme out as Said looks staunchly out of his pod and O'Reily smiles conspiratorially from his. Business as usual. Big search of Supreme's room. That was me recapping an action sequence. My plaque is already being bronzed for MBTV Hall of Fame induction. Is there nothing I can't do?