Episode Report Card Djb: D | 3 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT In The Claire
By Djb | Season 4 | Episode 8 | Aired on 08.29.2000
Meanwhile, Leo "If There's Something Strange in Your Neighborhood" Glynn is holding a press conference at the entrance of the prison. He announces, "Clayton Hughes is a close friend of our family. And though I find his actions utterly reprehensible, I feel compelled, out of loyalty to his mother and late father, to stand by Clayton's side in his time of need." Therefore, he is sad to announce, he will be withdrawing his name from the ballot and ending his bid for lieutenant governor. He takes his wife's hand, ignoring reporters' questions as he steps off the podium, and directs a genuinely pathos-laden gaze to the ground as he ponders his character's future of somehow, some way manufacturing the necessary emotional investment of returning to a life of sporadically yelling some close variant of the line, "I'm the warden, dammit! You can't talk to me like that!" over and over and over again now that his character will be returning to one dimension straightaway. Poor Glynn.
Back in Em City, Supreme "But Go Light on The Mayo, I'm Watching My Waistline" Allah approaches Mondo Brown and Ambiguously Angry Incarcerated Extra Number Four Billion and, somewhere midway through his congressional filibuster of the Oxford English Dictionary's entry for "fuck" ("Fuckabilly"? "Fucktomotron"? Who even knew these variations existed? This show knew. Okay, no it didn't. But he says it, like, a lot of times) tells the two in numerous parts of speech (pluperfect infinitive? I didn't even know that tense existed in the English language) that they're not moving enough drugs. Ambiguous wants to know who is outselling them, and Supreme indicates Mobay from afar. So, as the ever-increasingly episodic nature of this show dictates, Brown and Ambiguous wait until Supreme is, well, still right behind them before approaching Mobay and tell him to stop making them look so bad. Mobay claims that he's just following orders, and Ambiguous sics the place up with his "what the fuckatilly is the OED, anyway" response, "Yeah, we's tellin' you something different." Mobay stands up and stands strong, returning more and more to the accent of his native Jamaica, Queens, rather than Jamaica, y'know, Jamaica, as tends to happen when Mobay gets mad, forgetful, or opens his mouth ever. He says, "I'm not afraid of you. Or you." Brown grabs Mobay by the shirt, to the delight of onlookers Keller and O'Reily, but the tiff is broken up before it comes to blows when one of Querns's henchmen steps in and, angry that ambiguous inmates get much, much cooler lines than ambiguous guards, overacts the sentiment, "You have got to learn to control your emotions." Ambiguous Guard won't be tossing Ambiguous Inmate in the hole and divesting him of his clothing, his basic human rights, and his SAG card today, though, because the homicide officer investigating the Gergen case has shown up for a meeting with Brown.
McGory (Homicide) and Brown recount the day and night of Bruno Gergen in painstaking detail, a man whose cumulative time spent in Oz eclipses even my stay there by only about four minutes. McGory inquires about their fight in the gym, and we cut to a green-drenched flashback of The Most Generic Fight in History that for once I actually need to see again to remind myself that it ever happened. Brown makes the valid point that, though they roughed up Mr. Cameo to within an inch of his forgotten existence, "He lived." Well then, McGory wants to know, who killed him? Brown points the finger at Mobay, citing "weirdness" between him and Gergen. McGory cocks her head and shuts off the tape recorder, certain that the crime-solving equation of Criminal with Grudge + Weirdness - Evidence = Absolute Metaphysical Certitude learned with such precision at Stop the Bad Guy School has once again proven itself true in this instance. All hail the impeccable training of Stop the Bad Guy School. With degrees available through the mail, no less. Thank God for Sally Struthers. Next up: McGory tackles the wide world of gun repair.