Episode Report Card Keckler: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT From Dusk 'Til Yawn
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 13 | Aired on 01.07.2003
Um, is there some big secret the rest of us aren't let in on as to why exactly Enterprise can't beam some Red Cross down? Why don't they at least transport some tents, water, and food to them? Or have we all eaten on the insane root that takes reason prisoner? After doing as much analysis of Don's physiology as Phlox purports to have done, I'm sure he could whip up a batch of Don's Drinking Mud and send that along as well. What the hell, Quantum? Can't you see past your own chin to knock some sense into that thick furrow of yours? Of course, I can always blame the friggin' writers for such a slack-assed plot, but I still think that an actor as powerful as Bakula should be held responsible for not putting his foot down on this kind of rot.
Time has passed. Don's still asleep. Tripwrecked tries to signal Enterprise, and discovers that the intense heat fused some of the transceiver's relays. Taking notice of the inert Don, Tripwrecked throws water in his face. Don splutters awake. Tripwrecked drinks some more water and blathers about Quantum not letting him go out on his own for awhile after this: "I wouldn't be surprised if he knocked me down to Steward. 'Yer orange juice, sir.' 'Jam with marmalade, sir?'" I think we're supposed to understand that he's delirious from heatstroke. Tripwrecked babbles more about not swapping his time on Enterprise for anything, and lists some things he's done and seen. I caught sight of Continuity Wetting His Pants on a few of them, but you know? I really couldn't be bothered to list them. "Oh, and I even got pregnant once -- now, there's a story. I'm sure you have stories, too. That's why we choose this life, right?" Tripwrecked mutters to Don. What about the first time you almost died in the desert? That was fun. For me. Tripwrecked looks over at the three suns and, through his delirium, makes out a small ship heading their way. He coughs and shakes Don awake. They both squint at the ship.
Outer space. The Arkonian mother ship glides alongside Enterprise. Escorted by T'Pol, Capt. Arkonian pays a visit to Quantum. "I just got a report from my doctor," Quantum tells him. "Your pilot is responding well. He'll be ready to go home in a few hours." "And your crewman?" Capt. Arkonian asks. "He's tired and a bit sunburned, but he's doing fine," Quantum tells him. "A bit sunburned"? Whatever, Capt. Nonchalant. "If I discover that my pilot fired on your shuttle without provocation, he'll be disciplined," Capt. Arkonian says. "It was a misunderstanding," Capt. Quantum magnanimizes. "I...hope...we...can...avoid...them....in...the...future." And I hope we can avoid a Yawn of the Ages episode like this in the future. Capt. Arkonian expects them to leave the system immediately, "as agreed." Quantum nods. Capt. Arkonian turns to T'Pol, who opens the door to let him out. "I guess we won't be adding the Arkonians to our list of friends," Quantum tells T'Pol. "The encounter was less volatile than I expected," T'Pol assures him. Quantum chuckles. "You managed to establish better relations in a single day than the Vulcans have in a century," T'Pol continues. Quantum looks toward the door and puts on his Furrow Of Patting Himself On The Back. "Let's hope it stays that way," he says.