Episode Report Card Keckler: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT From Dusk 'Til Yawn
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 13 | Aired on 01.07.2003
Back on the big ship, Hoshi's hairdresser didn't do her any favors this episode; he made what looks like a big hairy bump on her head. T'Pol reports on the proximity of an Arkonian military ship and says that, though she's never dealt with them personally, she knows of the Arkonians' less than friendly and extremely territorial reputation. Quantum and the Arkonian captain have a face-to-face where the Arkonian is pretty much, "Get off my turf!" and Quantum's all, "Make me!" Quantum brushes over Capt. Arkonian's unexplained displeasure at seeing a Vulcan on his bridge and demands to know if it was one of the alien captain's men who fired on Tripwrecked. Capt. Arkonian admits they sent off a patrol ship with whom they have lost contact. Stiff as a board without the light as a feather, Quantum makes sure the Arkonian captain understands that while Tripwrecked is missing, they aren't going anywhere fast, and suggests that cooperation could be mutually beneficial. I'm thinking an enema could also be mutually beneficial.
Tripwrecked crouches about in the scrub brush and nearly runs into a seriously threatening-looking red beam of light. "Now, would that be called a 'TripWire'?" Mathra yuks, pulling Hunca Munca out of the newly cleaned fireplace. From a rocky overhang above Don's camp, Tripwrecked watches the poor man's Capt. Darthon futz with the ill-gotten transceiver.
Back in his own sh'pod, Tripwrecked confirms to bigtripper.diaryland that "it's him....and he seems about as bad off as I am." Tripwrecked believes that whatever made his sh'pod take a nosedive on this harmless-looking planet also landed Don in the same soup. He pays lip-gloss service to the fact that he doesn't have a UT on him, hence the need to speak in metaphor should the occasion call for it. "One piece of good news," Tripwrecked assures us, "it's starting to warm up a little -- Dawn is coming." If you anvil us, do we not groan?
Don gibbers his frustration at the transceiver until he overhears Tripwrecked's languid tones in the distance. Don puts down the transceiver and goes to investigate, but all he finds on a rocky outcropping is the Star Trek equivalent of a tape deck with a prerecorded message playing. One funny thing is that, as well saying stuff like, "I won't hurt you" and "We need to talk," you can also hear Tripwrecked say, "Mary had a little lamb. Its fleece was white as snow. And everywhere that Mary went. The lamb was sure to go." And I thought, "What is he thinking? That's not going to wor-- ohhhh!" Although it would have been so much more Dubya-ish of him to start with Mary and the lamb, patch in some cows jumping over moons, and have a crash-bang finish with, "If you fool...you cain't git fooled agin!" We still have that on tape. It still cracks us up. We make all our friends watch it when they come over. They think we're freaks. While Don is investigating the source of Earth nursery rhymes, Tripwrecked fiddles with the purloined transceiver. It's not clear what exactly he was doing, because as Don sets off his own Tripwrecked Wire, Tripwrecked drops the transceiver and scampers off to hide, so he doesn't really appeared to have accomplished much. Don returns to his campfire, looks around, spies Tripwrecked, and engages him in a rousing bout of fisticuffs. Tripwrecked manages to get Don's firearm and quips, "Now, mebbe we can inter-duce ourselves." Don hisses and spits at him. Funny, that's often my reaction to Tripwrecked. Tripwrecked speaks English to Don, Don doesn't understand a blessed word, and they fight some more until Don recovers his guns and stuns Tripwrecked.