Episode Report Card Demian: B- | 214 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Tim Whoooooo? Inspector Whaaaaaa?
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 21 | Aired on 2005.05.15
The following morning, Piper enters the center parlor from the kitchen with a mug of something comforting that she passes to the Feebs, the latter of whom has curled up on one of the sofas for a dejected processing summit with her sisters. "I'm telling you, he was there," Phoebe maintains, "and he blamed me for letting him die." "And you're sure you didn't just dream this?" Raige asks from the depths of one of the overstuffed armchairs. "Yeah, I'm sure!" Phoebe snots. "How many times do I have to tell you that?" Bitch. As she eases herself into another chair, Piper suggests -- in tones far more pacifying than I'd ever be able to muster in the same situation -- that it's "a valid question, considering [the Dolt] and I didn't see anybody in your room." "That doesn't mean he wasn't there," Phoebe grumps.
Piper and Raige wax psychological for a dimwitted moment before the Dolt arrives from the attic with some relevant information. "I found something on the undead here in the Book," he explains, lugging the thing over to the coffee table. "Demonic alchemists have the ability to control the undead but lack the power to bring them back to life -- they need an upper-level demon for that." And that's...not what we saw with the last demonic alchemist to appear on this godforsaken program, but this show sucks, so whatever. Just go with it, for it is always easier when you just go with it. "So now we're looking for two demons?" Piper snorts, even though she of all people should remember that neither Piggy nor the Slut required the assistance of an upper-level demon to raise the dead. Gah. "Which means [The Timbie] will be back," Phoebe glums, paying me no mind, "because he wants to make me pay." "Who knows?" she adds with aggravating amounts of self-pity. "Maybe I deserve it." Well, if you insist upon giving me an opening like that, hon, I'm pretty much compelled to take it and note both that there's no "maybe" about it and that you've had it coming to you for four goddamned years. Hag. "Phoebe, come on," Piper chides, "if the demons are behind this and they're controlling [The Timbie], they're just trying to freak you out." "It's working!" Phoebe snorts. "Which is exactly why you need to get back to business as usual," Piper argues, "before you drive yourself crazy." Piper, Raige, and the Dolt prevail upon Phoebe to head into All The News That's Fit To Fuck Me, but not before Phoebe elicits a promise from them all to fetch her the moment they locate the corpse fucker responsible. As Phoebe disappears upstairs, Raige's cell rings, and it's wimpy Joanna, who apparently had an enormous row with her abusive boyfriend, so Raige needs to motor on over to Joanna's apartment to deal with the fallout. "A lovers' spat?" Piper eyebrows. "Is that really something her Whitelighter needs to deal with, especially right now?" Raige reveals she's been picking up a terribly creepy vibe from Carl, and as she's afraid he might physically harm Joanna, she thinks it's for the best if she heads over to Joanna's immediately. Piper agrees. As Raige vanishes, Piper turns to the Dolt with, "We should call [the Doormat] and make sure that [The Timbie's] body is still in the morgue." The Dolt wiggles his eyebrows at the wife. "Or...not?" Piper offers.