Episode Report Card Sars: D | 2 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT Homecoming
By Sars | Season 3 | Episode 2 | Aired on 10.05.1999
Loon E. Tunes. Pacey roams the halls looking for Andie "Academia Nut" McPhee (tm LaaLaa). At last, he finds her room, and walks in to see Andie sitting on her bed just a bit too cozily with a guy in khakis and loafers. Do all psychiatric hospitals in New England look this much like a bed-and-breakfast? He knocks, and Andie and her giant overalls and wee little braids hop off the bed and exclaim, "Pacey, oh my god! What are you doing here?" He sweeps her off her feet and says, "I came to surprise you," and Andie totally doesn't hug him back and seems quite relieved when he puts her down, and after stuttering "yeah, okay, yeah" in a screechy nervous voice, she immediately introduces him to Marc, the toolshed wearing the khakis, and then she says she thought her dad would come for her the next day, and Pacey stammers, and then Andie shrugs all awkwardly, and I can't speak for everyone, but if I hadn't seen my boyfriend in four months, and I showed up to surprise him and bring him home and found him sitting on his bed with a girl, and he acted all stiff and weird when I hugged him after we had exchanged a bunch of sappy vows of eternal love -- well, let's just say that it doesn't take a master's degree in psychology to smell something rotten in Denmark. Marc interrupts and says he has to go to dinner, but they'll talk soon, and Andie agrees that they will and says goodbye, and as Joey walks in, Marc leaves, and Andie transfers her nervousness onto Joey by hugging her ten times more enthusiastically than she hugged Pacey and squealing, "You came too!" and Joey says that if they don't leave soon, "they're gonna make me stay," and Pacey suggests that they get Andie packed and ready to go, but he can obviously tell something isn't right.
Cheerleading practice. The cheerleaders peel off a single-file formation shaking their pompoms and saying things like, "One two three four, we don't care if we don't score." Jen "Wendy O. Williams" Lindley asks Jack for his opinion. Jack doesn't think it's "optimistic" enough for the pep rally. Jen, who apparently left her Secret Platinum in her other bag, says she really tried, but ever since they elected Jen "leader of their.junta," the pep squad only wants to do snarky cheers; furthermore, Jen says, they've even started to dress like her. She grumbles that cheerleaders must have a genetic predisposition "to have no identity whatsoever," and Jack cracks, "That's the blonde gene," and Jen elbows him and snaps, "Not funny," and Sars mutters, "Word." The two of them stroll alongside the football field, Jen looking even more like a Peterbilt than usual; suddenly a ball flies overhead. Jack jumps up, catches it, and throws it back.
Elsewhere on the field, Henry The Mysterious Freshman-At-A-Three-Year-High-School pesters Coach Flash to let him play. (Sidebar: Mr. Stupidhead's friend once acted in a play with the actor who plays Henry. Just thought I should disclose that.) The Flash snaps, "Power down, Henry." Henry runs around in front of The Flash and pleads, "They're killing us out there. The Flash takes Henry by the neck and explains to him, "We're running play-action patterns against ourselves!" Then he lets go and mutters intensely, "No one is killing us." The Flash really needs to ease up on his PowerBar intake.