Episode Report Card Sars: D | 2 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT Homecoming
By Sars | Season 3 | Episode 2 | Aired on 10.05.1999
Jump cut to an uncomfortably tight close-up of The Flash fweeping on his coach's whistle. He yells some touch-football instructions, including "now 'touch' does not mean 'half-ass,'" and I thought he'd go somewhere else entirely with that thought, but never mind -- The Flash hollers "BREAK!" so vehemently that I thought he would burst a blood vessel. Henry starts pestering The Flash yet again, and asks him to "call in a ringer" so that Henry can better impress The Flash with his abilities. The Flash tells him patiently that the team is divided and there isn't anyone left. Henry beams, "Sure there is." Cut to the huddle, and the camera pans across the requisite jockstraps and over to Jack, who looks uncomfortable. Henry calls the play (did I say that right? I know next to nothing about football), and everyone screams "BREAK!" again, and Jack says nervously, "Okay." Let me get this straight -- the writers made a big point of Jack's clumsiness for two full episodes last season, and now they've turned him into a wide receiver? Oh, right -- I forgot that gay men have better hand-eye coordination. What. Ever.
Anyhow, cue the La Cage Aux Football montage, in which Jack runs, catches, rolls on the ground, and earns admiring looks from The Flash (no comment) and the cheerleaders while managing not to get a single grass stain on his product-placed American Eagle shorts. Henry high-fives the upperclassmen in his blue mesh cut-off shirt. Unbelievable.
Pacey buckles his seatbelt in the Sheriffmobile and solicits station requests. From the back seat, Joey chooses "alternative," only to get shot down by Pacey: "Classic rock it is." Joey glares at him. Meanwhile, Andie stares out the window glumly. Pacey calls her on it, and she says, "I'm fine -- I'm just happy to be with you and to be going home." She nods as if to convince herself and looks back out the window. Pacey makes no pretense of believing her, just sighs and puts the car in gear. A tear slides down Andie's cheek.
Bats? BATS? Did somebody somewhere get a check for that screenplay? Oh, and Chris, or Max, or whatever they call you on Roswell? STOP LETTING YOUR MOTHER CUT YOUR HAIR.
Fade up on a locker-cam shot of Andie and her new layered hairdo; Jack comes up behind her and asks, "How's the first day of classes going there, gorgeous?" "Very well, I must say," Andie says perkily, and Jack says he really missed her, and Andie says she missed him too, and they share a big hug. Aw. Pacey pulls Jack away from Andie a little too roughly and jokes, "Hey hey hey, get your hands off my girlfriend," and Jack raises his eyebrows and jokes back, "Get your hands off my sister." Andie finishes gathering her stuff, and Pacey suggests catching a movie and then strolling down to "our spot" as their evening's plan. Andie says, "Oh, well, I was thinking we could all grab dinner tonight, you know, as a group." Jack begs off; he promised Jen he'd go to the pep rally. He veers off in another direction as Andie says that the pep rally sounds like fun, and I can't believe that anyone, even Andie, would think that "pep rally" and "fun" belong in the same sentence, but on the other hand, if I'd just spent the summer months more or less on lockdown in a mental facility/bed-and-breakfast, so bored that I'd resorted to having a fling with a future-insurance-adjuster toadstool like Marc-y Marc, I'd probably think a pep rally sounded like fun too. Pacey reminds her that the gang doesn't really do the whole school-spirit thing and asks, "What about you and me?" and as Jack returns, looking with a furrowed brow at a piece of paper, Andie says they have plenty of time to be alone together, and she just wants to spend time around normal people. Pacey forces a chuckle and asks, "Well, what am I?" and Jack teases him, "Well, she said 'normal people,'" and cuffs Pacey and laughs, and Pacey basically says "like, ha ha, not," and Jack goes to class. Pacey slings an arm around Andie and says, "You know, McPhee, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to avoid being alone with me." Andie, not meeting his eye, says she isn't, and besides, they can be alone after, or the next day, "okay? Bye." She kisses him on the cheek and goes to class. Pacey frowns.