Episode Report Card Pamie: A | 1 USERS: F YOU GRADE IT And I Say: It's All Right
By Pamie | Season 3 | Episode 21 | Aired on 05.12.2003
The closed captioning tells me that, as Jess is roaming the back streets of the Venice canals, the surfer "Catch a Wave" music is supposed to be on again. Luckily it's the more soothing strummy-strummy-la-la. If Neverwood's living on the Venice canals? He's not doing too bad for himself. Jess reads some ripped envelope that informs him which house Neverwood lives in. Oh, maybe that was the letter that Jess was reading in a voice-over that we didn't get to hear. No, that's not possible, unless Neverwood was writing the letter to Jess's mom. Because no matter how smart they want us to think Jess is, he wasn't reading books on the second day he was alive. I'm once again putting more thought into this than the writers did, so we'll move on. The front yard of Neverwood's house is huge. Six thousand dogs surge toward Jess, barking and yapping. Jess is protected by a tiny fence door. He calls out asking if anybody's home. From the roof, Sherilyn Fenn asks if Jess is selling something. I actually don't recognize her at first, and it's only once I'm instinctively searching for a mole on her face that I realize who she is. Jess asks if Jimmy Mariano lives there. Sherilyn Fenn asks if Jimmy owes him money. Jess almost says he's Neverwood's son, but the dogs, the dogs! One of the dogs is named Frodo. Sherilyn tries to speak Sherman-Palladino, but it's a clunky, sad thing. She gives a long monologue about the guard at Oz (not the show, the film) who only lets Dorothy in once there's a horse of a different color. Jess admits that he's Neverwood's son so that Sherilyn can say that's a horse of a different color. She tells him to come on in. He asks if the dogs bite. Sherilyn says that two of them do, but she doesn't say which two. "Which two, which two?!" Jess screams. Jess tells the dogs he will bite back. Man, this spinoff's gonna be lame. Sherilyn introduces herself as Sasha, which I will call her from now on because I'm embarrassed that Sherilyn Fenn, she of the "lipstick and compact," has been reduced to this non-Lynchian life. Sasha introduces all of the dogs by name. She says that Neverwood isn't here right now. Jess says he can just "hang around" and come back later. Sasha invites him in, and says she'll call Neverwood at work.
Inside the house, we see even more pets. Sasha says that they're not all hers; some of them follow her home and hang out, looking for a place to crash. Be careful, Sasha: Jess sprays. Sasha then lets a total stranger "wander" in her house unsupervised. She picks up the phone, sighs, and says, "Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay." The episode grade is now a C. "Okay." C-.