Episode Report Card Pamie: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Hate Your Life? Try Bad Wigs.
By Pamie | Season 3 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.14.2002
As Rory haltingly tells Lane not to forget gloves, she sees that the cashier is none other than Probawhore. I hate Probawhore's ugly tied-up sweater that looks like pumpkins and ghosts. Rory can't stop staring at Probawhore, giving her some double stink-eye. Lane's all, "What's wrong?" and clearly those two aren't best friends any longer if Lane can't pick Probawhore out of a line-up. Wouldn't Lane go to school with her? Lane's gloves, hair dye, and bleach come to the unbelievably cheap price of $12.52. Lane's very happy that she's got exact change. Probawhore snarks that she's super-happy Lane's got exact change. Rory gives Probawhore another Firestarter-worthy glare. Probawhore picks up on it this time and asks if Rory needs anything. Rory asks if Lane gets her money back if her hair falls out. Probawhore promises to give Lane back her money if her hair falls out. Rory's happy to hear that, and repeats it to Lane, who says that Rory's putting a real damper on her independence day. I can't believe that Probawhore doesn't know who Rory is, either, but she goes back to flipping through her magazine as Rory and Lane leave the building.
Luke's. Lorelai has shown up because it's 4 PM, which means they're already late since they are scheduled to speak at 4. So rude, all of these people. Okay, so it's the next day, I guess, or the day ended before Lane and Rory got together at the hair shop, which would have happened right after school, so how is it 4 now, but...never mind. Anyway, Luke takes off his apron and says he's ready to go, but Lorelai isn't letting Luke go dressed in grunge wear, and announces that he's going upstairs to change. I really think it's none of Lorelai's business what Luke wears to his PTA engagement. Luke says this is his power outfit as Lorelai pinches Luke and drags him upstairs, bribing Luke with a toy if he's a good boy.
Upstairs, Jess pulls his pants back on as Lorelai and Luke walk into the room. Jess sits with a book, asking what kind of toy Luke's getting. Luke tells Jess to go downstairs and help Cesar out. Jess says his education should come first. Lorelai finds some kind of Jimmy Buffett shirt inside Luke's closet. I can't believe she's just tearing through his closet anyway. Hey, remember when Lorelai bought Luke all of those nice suits? Couldn't she just tell him to wear one and not have to pretend she's never seen his closet before? Lorelai calls Luke a "BuffettHead," but everyone who's not me knows that it's called a "ParrotHead." She tells Luke to sing "Margaritaville." Luke says no, which prompts Jess to tease, "That attitude's gonna lose you that toy." Lorelai finds Luke a blue Oxford shirt. Luke runs to the bathroom to change in privacy, despite Lorelai's protests. She says she's already seen him shirtless at the lake and he's got nothing she hasn't seen before. Jess says that Luke's really let himself go recently. Lorelai tells Luke to lose the baseball cap, and Jess jokes that Luke runs the risk of losing his head if he does that. Lorelai says he'll be okay. Jess and Lorelai then spend some time making eyes toward the other side of the room. I didn't catch it the first two times, and it's not until Luke and she leave in a few seconds, when Lorelai tells Luke that Jess had a girl in the closet, that I put it all together. Because, see, that Probawhore must have a time/space portal in the back of the beauty shop to get from one place to another so damn quickly.