Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Kiss Of The Spider Woman
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 14 | Aired on 01.23.2003
"It's okay," Chiana groans. John wigs. "I asked Aeryn, she said she didn't care about you anyway." She arcs herself back up, leans over him again. Pop goes the bubble; John's scaffold effectively falls down in a crash at this point. "Yes she does," he insists, grabbing her arms again. And Chiana just giggles. "No she doesn't." John promises himself -- this isn't a conversation, it's a monologue -- that he and Aeryn are happy. "She loves me." Scorpius watches still. "Oh, come on. You know you want it." She leans over towards his cheek; this is so gross. Scorpius calls John's name, and he turns his head to the door. "Oh, hey Scorp." Heh. I love John. Chiana invites Scorpius to "watch," and John protests there's nothing to see, finally summoning the strength to push her off him. "We're done. You're leaving." Chiana slaps his hand away and stands. "Hezmana to you. What'd she do, cut 'em off?" Well, kinda. John gets up and rearranges his vest as Chiana approaches Scorpius at the door, angling herself in on him. He growls, but his head does move towards hers. He hisses, pulls himself back; Chiana leaves to go molest somebody else.
"Whoa," John mumbles. "How 'bout that, kids?" He laughs to Scorpius: "Man, she's in overdrive today!" Scorpius looks at him: "She's not alone." John gets out some homework and spreads it on the table. "How are you feeling?" asks Scorpius, in that strange tone where you know it matters. "Good! Never better," John says. His tone is vague and confused, like his brain isn't working right but he hasn't realized it yet. "We got a little thing going on with the traders, but that's not a problem." Scorpius comes closer and addresses him seriously: "We do have a problem. Your crewmates are behaving very oddly." John points out that this is nothing new; this is his lie. Everything is fine. This is the trait that gets them through every awful plan. So much of the books get settled in this episode, I love it. Scorpius tells him Noranti disagrees with this diagnosis, and John -- against all reason -- discounts Noranti's judgment. "We're fine." (There's a twelve-stepper thing that comes up a lot in discussion of this show, w/r/t Aeryn usually and having to do with the shell stuff, that could really just be the title of this episode: "Fucked-up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional." Yeah, they're all fucking "fine.") Scorpius points out that a whole host of people are acting weird -- John, Chiana, Aeryn, Rygel, and D'Argo; leaving of course himself and the other creeps on board -- and have been doing so since that girl came to Moya. "You think Talikaa is doing a T'raltixx? A mind-frell? Right, let's go talk to her. Come on, she's in Chiana's quarters." John jumps up and starts for the door; Scorpius is annoyed at this continued bravado, as usual ten steps ahead and seeing how this will play: "No, she isn't. She's disappeared. And we cannot find her."
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