Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Kiss Of The Spider Woman
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 14 | Aired on 01.23.2003
Pilot comms John that the signal isn't getting to the traders' ship, but that the ship in question seems to be drifting. D'Argo figures that they're powered down to give a no-aggression signal, since they can't communicate, and orders Pilot to bring them into the bay. Chiana yells at Pilot about locating "that frelling Talikaa," and Pilot can only say that her movements are "extraordinary": "The moment a DRD locates her, she's gone again." Aeryn chooses this moment to run in and attack Chiana out of nowhere, acting like a total freak. John grabs her; D'Argo does a hilarious talking-stick kind of move where he lowers the floor with his hands and goes, "Whooooa. Whooooa. Settle." Aeryn chills out and apologizes. The hanger door opens; the trader ship's door has lowered its steps. One of the bastards come staggering out and falls, choking quietly. D'Argo -- to the accompaniment of Rygel's charitable horror -- rushes over to check him out. His face is covered in sores and he dies. Talikaa watches, unseen, from beneath the ship, as John realizes that's the end of this particular story, for them.
Commercial, and then a DRD checking out the dead trader. D'Argo heads into the trader ship with Aeryn and Rygel, and Chiana, whose facial sores have gotten much worse during the commercial. Inside, there are dead traders all over the place. Chiana looks close at one while D'Argo checks everything out: "This is what we got to look forward to?" She turns his head with the muzzle of her gun -- the sores have eaten away the bottom side of his face and neck. It's so gross. Rygel thinks they won't have to wait all that long, which of course sets Aeryn off: "Don't say that, we're gonna be fine." Her sores have gotten darker and begun latticing down her cheek. "We're gonna be fine, we're gonna find something, we're gonna figure it all out and we are going to be fine." She climbs up the ladder to the ship's second tier, breathing harder than usual.
D'Argo, up there with her, gets his arm grabbed by the head trader, who's looking nasty. Aeryn can't even deal with it; D'Argo asks him what's up and he just chokes and looks awful. Chiana heads into another room, where Rygel has found a hologram running: A Diagnosian, trilling and squeaking, as a man speaks translation, breaking sporadically into static. "I now have information on the symptoms you've described. They're caused by the Wolaxan Arachnid. This creature's touch infects its victims and stimulates exaggerated neural functioning." Chiana: "[Duh.]" D'Argo joins them. "The creature then transforms, harvests that energy from its host, stores it in membrane orbs, and hides those orbs in an external nest for later consumption. Finding that nest and opening the orbs in proximity to the victims will allow reassimilation of the energy, and complete recovery..." The hologram disappears, finished. The complicated biological cycles of the creatures in this show, I will never understand it. Just the hoops they have to jump through to get to the emotional part, I guess, but the whole -- speaking of Diagnosians -- the whole nose-and-mouth-at-the-same-time thing? What is that about? I still don't know.
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