Episode Report Card Erin: C+ | 93 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Double Your Premiere, Double Your Fun
By Erin | Season 4 | Episode 2 | Aired on 2005.01.05
Also? Kill The Bachelor/The Bachelorette, please. Kill it now.
Danger Dungeon. The henchman rips off the mask, allowing Syd to gasp some air. She's all, dude? I don't know about any hit. The henchman puts the mask back on her. Rick Yune's all, you wouldn't be here if you didn't know about the contract. Or, you know, if the writers weren't grasping at straws and trying to intersect four totally different plot points in one fell swoop. They pull the mask off again and Syd's all, no, seriously (cough! cough!), what (cough! cough!) damn contract? Rick Yune's all, the contract I had on your life, dude. Syd's all, you were hired to kill me? The hell? Who hired you? And I'm all, yo' mamma, dude. Seriously. Syd asked, "Who hired you?" and I yelled, "YOUR MOTHER." See? I am psychic.
"Sydney," Rick Yune tsk tsks. "Assassin-client privilege." Hee. He goes on to say that the day before he was supposed to kill Syd, his client was killed. Okay, did anyone not know at this point that Irina was the one who ordered the hit? Anyone? If you didn't get it by this point, then you really shouldn't be watching this show, dude. I'm sorry, but it's true. "I swear to god, I don't know anything about this," says Syd. "Somehow I believe you," says Rick Yune with real surprise in his voice. It's a nice moment, actually. And he plays it well. "I guess," he continues, "this is just one of those coincidences." Oh, yes, I get those all the time. Like, the guy who sells me my bagel every morning is actually…my long-lost half-brother who also happens to have killed our parents and disguised it as a freak polo accident. What a coincidence!
"Guess I can just sell you the sword and go home," snits Syd. "I'll just…take the sword," smiles Rick Yune. "How's that?" He nods again at the henchman, the mask is put back on, and Rick Yune pulls the water chain and walks off, leaving Syd to drown. Somewhere else in the building, Nadia's putting her smooch on. She's doing a damn fine job of looking like she's actually EATING Ponytail's lips off. Within seconds, we see why: Ponytail drops the ground, out like a light. Nadia rips some plastic off her lips and Marshall pipes up, "So, Nadia, the tranquilizer lips? Were they too red, do ya think?" Nadia doesn't answer. Instead, she grabs a key card from Ponytail and enters the secret portion of the building. Syd's still drowning under the watchful eye of the henchman. Nadia comes up behind him and takes him out. She runs over to Syd and removes the mask. Syd gathers her breath as Nadia moves to free her arms from the chair.