Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT I Got Your Gas Right Here
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 7 | Aired on 02.05.2006
At the garage, the mechanic is getting ready to start cutting open the first canister under Erwich's supervision. "You cannot puncture the inner lining," Erwich warns, although he leaves off the popular intensifier, "if it's the last thing you do." The mechanic wants to know what this is all about. And that's Erwich's cue to begin Story Time. He explains that his wife has been in prison for seven years, for "supporting me while I fought for my country." Oh, would that be the country of "Central Asia"? So sad, what's going on there. He adds that his son lives in a state-run facility and doesn't even know what Erwich looks like. Maybe Erwich should send him the yellow tie. He concludes, "It's about justice. It's about ending tyranny." It's about how the bad guys on this show can never shut their fucking yaps and get on with it already. He promises the mechanic, whose name is Cal, that when he's done, they'll leave him unhurt. "You have my word," Erwich assures him with a comforting pat on the shoulder. Cal puts his goggles in place and turns on the saw, which starts cutting into the first canister with an almighty racket. Not to tell anyone how to do their jobs, but maybe next time the manufacturers could encase their crazy-deadly nerve gases in titanium or something.
Back at the Cradle of Love, Kiefer's finally put his gun down and is gently leading Inessa into the living room, now with a robe over her shoulders. Kiefer makes vague reassuring noises at her at 1:34:04 as he parks her in a chair with her back to Rossler. He tells the nearest agent to have a medic look at her, and to have CTU run a background check. As for Rossler, he generously says, "I don't mind that they've dressed his wound, but be sure they don't give him anything for the pain." The agent takes the two steps necessary to relay this information. Kiefer tells Curtis to put Rossler in a chair, and Curtis complies by having his guys do it. Never let it be said that Curtis can't delegate.
Kiefer sits across from Rossler and demands to know what Erwich wants, as if he and CTU don't already know. We even see Audrey and the CTU bosses listening in from the Situation Room on the comm channel right now. Rossler, not realizing what show he's on, asks for his lawyer. Kiefer shocks me by agreeing, but then he adds the condition that Rossler gives him what he wants. He explains, "Mr. Erwich is in possession of twenty canisters of Sentox-VX nerve gas, which he has threatened to deploy here in the United States." "I guess you have a problem," Rossler smirks. Kiefer walks around behind Rossler and assures him that the problem is his: "You're conspiring with and aiding a known terrorist, which means that I get to hold you for as long as I want." Rossler still isn't talking for the whole time it takes for Kiefer to circle back around to in front of him, so Kiefer wearily says, "Trust me. You don't want to go down this road with me." Rossler? Trust him. "Go to hell," Rossler suggests. Kiefer responds with a backhand across the face. "You like hurting girls?" he hisses in Rossler's ear, which is a bit off topic, but I can understand why Kiefer's pissed. I won't even ask if Kiefer likes hurting old men. Kiefer says Curtis's name, and Curtis responds by pressing a foot against Rossler's wounded leg. Curtis is done delegating, I guess.
It's 1:36:06 as we see Audrey and McGill standing with Buchanan in the CTU Sit Room, trying to look hardcore about what's going on. Curtis releases Rossler, and Kiefer repeats his demand as to Erwich's whereabouts. Through his agony, Rossler manages to dictate the following. "I want full immunity. Unfreezing of all my assets. And transport to a foreign country of my choosing." "No," Kiefer says. And then, as if he thinks he's getting any leverage, Rossler wants to throw in Inessa. We see Inessa possibly react, even though it's not clear how much of the following discussions she will have heard from twenty feet away. "We're not making a deal," Kiefer clarifies, and sics Curtis on Rossler again. There are a few more seconds of agonized groaning from Rossler before McGill cuts in on Kiefer's earpiece, calling a halt to the fun. "We don't have the luxury to engage in brinksmanship," McGill says. Kiefer growls, "He's going to tell us what we want to know." Hey, did you hear that? That was the sound of Kiefer stepping off his oft-stated position that he only tortures people when there's no other choice, and that he doesn't secretly kind of dig it. Secret's out, tough guy. McGill snaps, "Accept the deal. That's an order." "It's your call," Kiefer grumbles. McGill ends the call and leaves the Situation Room, saying he'll be back in a few minutes. Buchanan and Audrey look at each other unhappily, like McGill just ruined all their fun, too. Plus now they're going to have to wait until he gets back before they can order lunch.